September 14, 2010
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Dating Someone From The Internet
I was reading the site of Ampersands_Anonymous and she thinks she might love a guy she met on a dating site.
I have said that I think it is safe to meet people from xanga because you can read their blogs and really find out so much about them.
Is it safe for a woman to meet a guy from a dating site?
Comments (83)
I don’t think it’s safe just because one of my friends found a girl on a dating site and she turned out to be a complete crack job. She faked her own death as a way of telling him she’s not interested in him. O__O WHO in their RIGHT mind does a thing like that??
Is it safe for guys to meet women from a dating site? Ill intentions run both ways.
@queenof__hearts - I realize that’s a generalization…but still… It formulates my overall opinion of dating sites… They can be crack jobs.
Yeah, just be smart about it i.e. meet in a public place.
There’s no difference between dating sites and ye olde newspaper classifieds. Just take the usual precautions.
It’s all about being a good judge of character, in my opinion. I have only been actively on dating sites for…3 months? And I have given my phone number out to 5 people when I’ve had over 50 people request it. It’s all about using your head and following your heart. I love my Xanga friends. Who’s to say I can’t love someone else just because I didn’t meet him on Xanga, but on another internet medium?
Oh, and the way you worded it makes me sound creepy and desperate hahahaha. It’s fine though. I’m too giddy to care!
I think it really depends on which dating site it is. If it’s one that’s legitimate like eharmony then I don’t really see a problem, but you would still want to take precautions.
Not necessarily; people lie.
But it probably won’t kill you if you’re smart about it.
Absolutely. I found the most amazing man in the entire world here on Xanga. It might not be a ‘dating site’ but I feel like you can learn a lot from a person by what they write and how they write. You really get a glimpse into their heart, soul and mind that way.
i believe you can meet anyone anywhere. who’s to judge?
^ Agreed. same thing goes for everything else really; like meeting someone at the bar etc. Meh, I hope things go well for Ampersands_Anonymous.
That’s why you do it safely and meet them in an open and public place.
Just don’t randomly give out your address . . . Otherwise I think it could be a great idea.
I don’t know about safety.
My opinion: meeting people from the internet to date is fine.Dating people on the internet… I don’t even consider it real dating.”Yea, my boyfriend lives across the country. No, I’ve never met him in real life.”Ridiculous.
Oh gosh really about Xanga? I think it’d be odd as heck to date someone from here, knowing full well they’d blog about you and you about them haha…so odd.
Tell a friend, heck tell two friends the location, the other person’s cell number, when you’d be home, et cetera. Never get into a car with anyone. Avoid dark alleys.
I suppose it depends but even on Xanga I would be cautious. I believe most people here are honest but isn’t that the perfect scenario for someone who’s less than honest to take advantage of? We know there are vitriolic people here who create aliases in order to pretend they are someone they aren’t and also to artificially pump their blogs to get front page exposure. Would I trust such a person? No.
@Ampersands_Anonymous - Yes, this.
You need to be smart about things, no matter how you met a person. You don’t just freely hand out all your contact information. You don’t meet people in a secluded place. You don’t meet them without having a friend or someone you trust to check in with. (That might seem “childish” to some, but I’ve met a few guys online & then went on to meet them in person – I just feel more at ease if I know someone I genuinely trust knows enough about who I’m with that they could find me if I don’t come home when I say I’m going to.)
@remiblanc0 - Hence my “no Xangans, whatsoever” rule. I also keep my Xanga 100% private from those in my day-to-day life.
@nov_way - thank you
As long as precautions are taken i think its totally fine! Perhaps take some friends with you the first few times you meet up.
@Ampersands_Anonymous - Likewise. No one in my regular life knows about my Xangers thank god.
Well, my girlfriend and I met here on Xanga. But dating sites…. still a bit sketchy…
Quite honestly, I’d feel more comfortable dating someone I meet here at Xanga. Like you said, it’s easy to learn a lot about a person through reading their blogs (assuming they’re being honest about themselves, as we know some people aren’t). I also think most people don’t come to Xanga with the expectations of finding love, so it’s more likely to happen “naturally” (if that makes sense), rather than being “matched” like on a dating site.
That being said, I do think love can be found in odd ways. Dating sites work for some people… but I think you have to be careful. You know, I read a statistic that said 1 out of 8 couples meet online now. That’s amazing! But, considering how much of our daily lives are consumed by the internet, I suppose that shouldn’t come as a surprise.
I’ve met a couple of people, and one of them happens to be a good friend of mine.
Like others say, you have to keep a good head on your shoulders and take a lot of precautions.
But even then you are liable to meet a jerk or two.
Is it safe to meet guys? I don’t like how you phrased that the women from dating sites are harmless.
I dated a fucking psychopath from OKCupid once and I think after that I have pretty much retired from ever using the internet as an outlet to meet people to date. I heard real life is a pretty good way to meet people. You just can’t really search outside of your area though. lol there are some loony people on the internet, not to say that I’m not loony, but still, I keep my loony-ness much more low key and humorous. You’ll never see me sitting in a raggy couch watching a broken TV while stroking a dead cat whispering ‘Yes, Mr. Mittens, your favorite part of the show will be on soon…. Very soon….’
But yea, I’m not like most guys but I’ll still say it’s safe to meet a guy from a dating site so long as you took proper precautions i.e. get recent picture, talk on phone beforehand to make sure they sound sane, tell a friend you trust that you’re going… Basically not being an idiot. But most of the guys just want sex and most of the girls just want sex…. Wait what?
@Ampersands_Anonymous - No problem. =)
YES its safe to meet someone from online dating, for the same reasons you stated meeting someone from xanga. Granted, you have to hope that they are not hiding behind the anonymity of the internet and accurately depicting who they are, and that’s impossible to know. But think of it this way— the internet is a big city. Dating sites are the bars. Just as you would meet someone in a bar and get to know them, you must meet those from online dating and get to know them. Best (and somehow shallow) part about it, is that you get to judge them & the info they post about themselves before you even say HI. There’s no way to do that in an actual bar, you have to take a chance and approach someone.
The same rules apply- meet them in public. Let people know where you are. Make plans to get home safe. If your instincts tell you something is “wrong,” get OUT. But yes, it is safe to meet from online dating- I’ve done it several times and met some great guys
my friend’s parents met online and are happy.
it works for some people and doesn’t for others. as long as you’re careful and safe. like many people have said, i’d rather meet someone from xanga.
It is as safe as anything. Same basic precautions need to be followed. Such as don’t secretly meet them at a truck stop
Well if the guy the girl is meeting happens to be me, then no, it is not safe for a woman to meet a guy from a dating site.
From my observations, which are only my observations and nothing more, the two places I would never look for a woman (for friendship, dating, etc.) would be a bar or the Internet, because in neither place would I likely find anyone I would ever want to take home.
Especially the bar, since I don’t drink.
As I think most of you know, I met and married a man I met in an online chatroom. I moved across country to be with him and haven’t regretted (well not often) it once. You just have to use your common sense.
I’ve been in three relationships that started on Xanga, and I’ve met other people from Xanga in person, too. In my experience, Xangans are fine. I wouldn’t want to get into another long-distance relationship, but that’s a horse of a whole different color. But I wouldn’t use a dating site. It may be fine, but it’s not for me.
Dating sites in general are about as safe as someone you met in a bar. The more legitimate ones (eg eharmony) may even offer some advantages to the bar. Just play it safe… I’m happy with my Xanga friends/girlfriend though.
@Ampersands_Anonymous - Not completely separate but close enough.
Idk, but two different clients married someone from eharmony. And they are very happy.
I’ve done it! I met my current boyfriend on an online dating site. I definitely think it CAN be safe, if you take the right precautions. (ie, meet in public, have other people with you, etc)
@queenof__hearts - somebody with an epic sense of drama
The danger is about the same, I think.
Meeting me in person causes severe bleeding. Please consult your doctor before dating me.
let’s date in xanga!
Dating sites. No. Xanga, yes.
It’s safe for anyone to do anything, if they speak softly and carry a big stick.
These days and there is less of the stigma but I don’t know if it is “safe.” It just depends on what definition you have of “safe.” I just prefer to do it the old fashioned way by actually talking to the girl in person or on the phone. Blogging and having an online personality is cool. But for a ballzy thing like asking a girl out. I just prefer to man up and use my voice to actually ask her out. Cause that’s just how people did it before our world got all infested by technology and right now I feel like the world is too used to communication on an electronic screen. Besides, for me, if I am looking for a dating relationship, I am not looking for someone to just have a fling, I am looking for someone to be my future wife and I am sure as heck not going to be communicating to her on a screen 100% of the time.
Truth of the matter, and what so many people neglect to see, is that you can meet a whack job online or off, you reduce your chances by getting to know them before putting yourself in certain situations. I am traveling overseas to meet a girl in a year or so that I’ve known online for three years and one of the things I told her, is that she shouldn’t meet me alone. Not because I don’t trust me or her, but because I want to make sure she’s ALWAYS being safe.
@SoapAndShampoo - I agree with this person.
Not gonna apologize for being old fashioned, but if I can’t find someone the regular way, as in meeting them in person, then I guess I won’t meet anyone. And I’ll be darn if I’m gonna pay somebody to find me a date.
I would love to meet some of my friends from xanga, but not for the purpose of “dating” them. I guess dating sites are only as safe as a person believes them to be.
@Conartist - Bravo!
I’m currently dating a Xangan (ro_ad808) and prior to that I was subscribing to online dating sites. Yes, I think it’s fine to meet and date people off the internet… just be careful the first time, meet in a public place (which we did – Barnes & Noble!). Cool things can happen…
I see nothing that would make meeting somebody from the internet any less safe than meeting someone in a bar. Actually, given that you can talk to them a small amount before seeing them in person, one could argue that meeting someone from the internet is in fact LESS dangerous.
@Passionflwr86 - ^^ What she said. Just keep your head on straight.
Many intermarriages nowadays have started from meeting in some dating websites. I can’t say it is safe or not especially that we never knew well the motives of those people signing up in those sites. It depends…
Most of the couples I meet now confess they met on the internet. It’s as safe as anywhere else, I suppose, provided you don’t share too much personal information with the romantic interest and you meet in a public place.
it depends if he’s a psycho killer or not =P
Somehow I’m more comfortable with the idea of meeting someone on Xanga than a dating site. People on dating sites are there for the sole purpose of finding a partner, so it’s more likely they’re gonna lie about who they are to get people interested, or turn out to be a weirdo. But people on Xanga are here for a variety of reasons (including to attract people, so it is possible to have the same thing, but less likely), so people who come here to share their work or to rant about their lives are most likely being as honest as they can be. I trust people quite easily on here depending on how their site is, (I don’t mean trust enough to dish out my address, I mean trust in the sense that I figure they are being honest about who they are and what they do), so yeah.
Depends.
What Alex said, just keep it out in the open, a public place. Bring your own car or better yet, bring a guy friend and have him sit at another table to keep an eye on things. I worry every time I hear about one of my Xanga friends meeting up with someone they met on the intertubes.
I think it’s safe if you meet them in a public place but as far as inviting them over I’d leave that for a long while. And People can be quite different from their Xanga Sites. You never know what you got until you’re in person.
Not something I would have ever done. I’ve seen/heard some horror stories. One lady I know met her “husband” AT their wedding. They met online and never had a face to face until the wedding day. That lasted all of 6 weeks. He was a nut case. And, let’s be fair…so was she!! I knew a guy who left his wife of many years to go marry someone he met on the web in a chat room – total loss of mental faculties if you ask me. And…guess what? Didn’t work out. Who would’ve known? Uh yeah…
I met my husband on a dating site…so I’m going to say yes.
The internet is a feasible way of meeting other people but Irrespective how you meet them you still need to remain vigilant and take precautions. Villains are everywhere.
Sure why not.. I met MrShann through a dating site on AOL..
I’ve met several people that I have formed friendships with over the internet… I’ve never had a horrible experience with it. I think that it is important to talk a lot on messenger, hopefully see them on web cam, and then talk some time on the phone. If they are too eager to meet, there is a warning sign. But, as they always tell you, in a public place or with somebody else can be a good idea.
It all just depends… I met a great guy from a dating sight, we have been dating now for a year. You should always use caution though. Don’t let your dick or pussy think for you . Keep it safe.
Some dating sites have a blog function. I know OkCupid does.
Some sites are better than others. I’ve had fairly good luck with plentyoffish.com (despite the demeaning name). And there is a free dating site for people with mental health issues (so you can contact someone without worrying about what he will think about your bipolar disorder etc.) which is quite safe. Best not to publish the site here…
i don’t think that it’s safe to meet anyone anywhere. people are for the most part shallow, petty, mean, vindictive, arrogant, violent creatures. that said, it’s impossible to make it through life without having to interact with them. so why should the internet be any different than the office?
i met my boyfriend on a dating site. before him, i ran into some pretty sketchy guys. you’ve got be careful, but it’s very possible to meet people and be safe online.
I have heard it said, “You never really know anyone until you have been married to them for 5 years”. I met my husband and we dated for two years…he was always so easy going that when his family told me he had a temper I didn’t believe them, I thought they were teasing….WRONG! I guess we had been married less than 6 months when he first showed his temper. Oh he didn’t hurt me…but he is most definately an Irishman. I would say on a scale of 1-10 he is somewhere between Donald Duck and the Tazmanian Devil. But after 29 years he still gets mad but not so much so, nor so often. And I will go with the rest of the commenters…maybe meet him a couple of time outside of a dating situation. Then you will be more able to judge your safety with him and the true posibility of finding mutual interests.
I have many friends who have had great experiences from internet dating. Just make sure you meet in a public place until you get to know them better.
Noooo… I know a rapist (who raped someone close to me) that went on dating sites… yeck…
it’s what keeps e-harmony and match.com in business.
Yes, I’ve met 3 guys from a dating site and I’m still dating one of them. I’ve also met guys from xanga, but those dates didn’t go anywhere. I had one or two dates with guys I met online from other places like myspace and aol chats that I really didn’t feel comfortable with and almost thought it was unsafe to be out with them. It’s safe as long as you’re smart about it and meet in populated areas. However, I don’t think taking friends with you on the date would be a good idea. I knew someone who did that and the guy became more interested in one of the friends instead of getting to know the girl on the date.
I have no issue with it. I’ve met several guys online and met them in real life. You just need to be sensible – meet in a very public place, tell someone where you’re going and tell them you’re safe at the end of the date.
@Ampersands_Anonymous - Good luck!
Well I’m 16 years old and have already gone through multiple relationships… the good and the bad and I started checking out internet dating when I was about 13. Of course it started with silly relationships but I also learned how to spot if someone is a fake. Of course it’s a lot easier when you are on a site such as myspace but anyways. I have dated plenty of “fake” people in my lifetime (feels quite odd saying that) and I think it is best to (on other sites mainly) make sure you have a video call with the person. I met a guy from Europe online when I was 14 and I am still with him. We talked for over a year before we met and I really got to know HIM… not just what he was like when he typed because a lot of people sound differently online when you base their personality off of that. I talked to him everynight and we are still together after 2 and a half years of being in a long distance relationship. I have managed to see him 5 times so far
I think it really puts into perspective how strong a relationship is in my opinion at least. They don’t always go bad… the ones you hear about with 13 year olds meeting sex predators are normally girls who know the guys age in the first place and still decide to talk to him or are noobz on the internet and don’t know how to check if the guy is fake or not. Despite what people say I believe you can fall in love with someone online. At least I’m not saying I love you to someone I met 2 weeks ago and am off having sex with them right? I had to wait to decide if he was the right person for me before engaging in any physical contact. We connected on a mental and emotional basis first which is what a lot of “real life” relationships are missing.
Safe. Probably not. However, I met my best friend on a dating site. We dated for over two years. Now we are the best of friends. I certainly can’t tell anyone else not to do it.
Kat
There is a risk for a girl to meet a guy she met on the street or in school or at work or in some social group etc, just that the risk may be much lower compared to meeting a guy from the Internet. However, the risk of meeting a guy can be lower if the girl gets to know the guy better and if she knows the guy from Facebook, she can also see the kind of friends the guy are associated with. From there, she may know more about the guy.
I met my girlfriend online. We’ve been together a couple of months. Granted, it was a writing website and not a dating website. But it’s all good. I got to know her really well, in a way I wouldn’t have otherwise.
I met my bf on a dating site… but I also did a background check on him for safe measure.
Never tried, wouldn’t hurt once in a while.
i guess in many situations people can turn out to be completely crazy, but online dating services are teeming with them!
xanga is a little bit more trustworthy, but I guess people could possibly create fake accounts and try to pick up chicks from them? hahaha i don’t know.
Meeting online and meeting at a dating site are three different things.
If you are careful and patient it could work out Just remember that after about a month the ‘honeymoon’ is over and the REAL person comes out.
other than that enjoy….