September 22, 2010
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Should Parents Kiss Their Kids on the Lips?
I was just reading an article about a woman who was writing about whether it was appropriate for parents to kiss their child on the lips.
According to the article, a woman was upset that her husband was kissing their 5-year-old daughter on the lips.
A woman said, “I even explained that you do not kiss on the lips unless you are married. I have mentioned that I’m totally against the gesture; he said he will do so until the day he dies.According to the mother, it’s “a sexual gesture and very inappropriate.” Here is the link: Link
Should parents kiss their kids on the lips?
Comments (209)
When the kids are younger, it’s okay. I don’t really know when it becomes inappropriate though. Hmm.
No. Lip kidding is meant to be be shared between lovers. Let’s keep it that way.
I think it depends on the relationship. Some families do that and it really doesn’t mean anything. Before the days of baby food, mothers had to chew the food for the baby, and so they sort of did that common place. I never kiss my kids on the lips though, and neither does my husband. But I don’t think I would think that were an odd thing in other families unless there were other factors.
We give our son kisses on the lips, he’s almost 3. Well husband usually kisses his cheek or forehead, but he used to give lip kisses when Dillon was a baby. I don’t see anything wrong with it when they are young. It’s not like we’re making out with our child. A little peck before bed or when saying goodbye has no harm in it.
No, kissing on the lips is affectionate. It’s only sexual if the tongue is involved.
Until they reach a certain age it’s okay. Not sure what that age is though.
I have a nephew (2 years old now) that I couldn’t imagine not kissing on the lips. He’s just to cute and cuddly when he puckers up to kiss you goodbye.
I do know I get seriously freaked out when I see a dad kissing his grown daughter on the lips though.
It depends on the relationship and the intention behind the kiss.
I’m 24 years old and I still kiss both of my parents on the lips. I always have. My dad is 49 and he still kisses his mother on the lips. In other cultures, it isn’t rare to kiss a complete stranger on the lips, upon meeting. It’s perfectly fine.
The only reason it would be sexual, is if you SEE it as sexual.
I kiss my son on the lips. He kisses my Grandma and Grandpa on the lips. It’s not a big deal unless you make it a big deal.
Just like those women that think that their husbands giving their daughters baths is inapropriate. It’s only innapropriate if you make it so.
You seriously have to be fucked in the head to think that kissing your little kid is sexual.
There’s obviously something wrong with her, and anyone else that thinks this way.
I mean, unless you have fucking herpes on your mouth, whatever.
I heard about this woman killing her newborn baby with herpes by kissing him in the hospital the day he was born.
I was always kissed on the cheek. My friend kisses and her kids kiss like that. Its like more of a peck nothing more. The one in the pic looks like more than a pic but It could just be the timing of the snap of the shot.
I think it’s okay to share family kisses until the child gets embarrassed infront of his or her friends. Haha
I kiss my boys on the lips. They’re 3 and 5. I think a quick peck is fine. I can’t imagine them still kissing their mom on the lips once they’re grown tho…but you never know!
My mom used to do that to my brother and I when we were little, I don’t see the big deal. It’s only sexual if you’re a sick fuck and look at it that way. Hell, I even kissed some of my old friends on the mouth and it was just something we did, it didn’t mean anything because none of it saw it that way.
@ohletitbe - I love you.
No…this is how kids end up with cold sores they otherwise wouldn’t have.
i never kissed my dad on the lips but my little boys gives me kisses. i don’t think it’s wrong but i won’t be asking for kisses past a certain age.
This is just crazy I have no comment maybe it is because I am older we never thought kissing a kid to be any kind of sexual I guess this old world has changed more than I thought
As a young child my mom and I would “peck” each other on the lips, but as I got older we got away from that and kiss each other on the cheeks…not that it isn’t appropiate to me but just that as I got older I just prefered to kiss my mom on the cheeks.
I don’t approve of it, no.
It really isn’t a big deal. I always did it when I was little, to my parents and all my grandparents. It’s only sexual if you make it sexual, jeez.
I personally think it’s wrong. That’s just my opinion. I don’t kiss people on the lips who are related to me. It’s closed to incest. At most it should only be if the child is younger then one. Because they won’t remeber it. I just feel like parents who do this send the wrong message to their kids and to outsiders.
@ohletitbe - Well said.
I *gasp* kissed my 17 year old sister on the lips a few days ago…
Yes, she is emotionally scarred 9_9
No she isn’t… she’s fine and she liked it haha.
It’s entirely culturally dependent so I wouldn’t say they “shouldn’t”. But I wouldn’t do it if I were a parent, largely because I didn’t grow up in an environment where that was common so it would make me uncomfortable. Though I have seen people kiss children on the lips, adult children and young children both in person and on television. Nobody batted an eye. So I don’t think it should be a big controversy.
You know what.. it’s a kiss.
Whatever.
Growing up, I kissed my mom on the lips, all my grandparents, my uncles, my aunts. It’s not a big deal. It’s a quick peck on the lips. I don’t see it as any different than the Europeans doing the double cheek kiss.
I’m 21 and I still kiss my mom on the lips and my grandmother. It’s whatever. It’s not sexual, it’s familial love. I see no problem with it at all. It’s not like we’re making out. I’m close to my mother and my grandmother. I always have been. And I’ve never been sexual abused in my life and I don’t view it as incest (because that would be viewing it as sexual).
My daughter kisses me on the lips and it’s not sexual at all. She likes to sit on my lap, grap my ears in her hand and pull them out like dumbo ears, and then use them to pull/steer my face into position. It’s actually quite painful and rather comical. Except for that she kisses me where ever. Cheek, forehead, anywhere I have a “booboo”.
It’s only weird and sexual if you make it that way. Personally I don’t find the dumbo ear kisses sexual at all, lol.
My husband and I kiss our girls on the lips all the time. They are 7 an 4. Kids tend to grow out of wanting kisses from their parents right around the 10 year mark… until then, I’m slathering them on! I agree that people who think it’s sexual have some issues they need to work out. Not every look/hug/kiss is sinister.
I don’t see anything wrong with it. I still give my parent kisses on the lips, and I’m 19.
I don’t think that it’s okay to kiss a child or non-lover in the lips. And so, I like to keep it that way in any of my relationships.
When I was little, I saw another girl kiss her mom on the lips in a movie or something. So I was sitting on my mom’s lap (I was probably about four or five) and I kissed her on the lips, just to see what it was like I guess. She actually got kind of concerned and said, “Did you just kiss me on the lips?!” It was the first time my mom got frustrated with me over something that I thought was innocent. I think I stopped kissing her in general after that. And I can’t remember the last time I hugged her. We just aren’t a very touchy-feely family, I guess. She is weird about it and I am now too.
WTF? Kissing is a sign of affection… kissing with tongue would be inappropriate, but just kissing is completley fine!
Define kiss on the lips, like with tongue action? A smack wouldn’t hurt, but with tongue? That’s just disturbing.
Good grief…where do you come up with these questions?
I always kiss my kids ….and now as adults it is our tradition….normal. Good heavens, we aren’t making out!!
I got no problem with it.
Yes, the government should ban Dihydrogen Monoxide.
My parents did that when I was younger. I don’t think it screwed me up.
I kiss my toddler on the lips. She’s my daughter. Any parent should be able to kiss their children….anyone who thinks that’s perverted is perverted themselves.
i don’t see the problem, as long as you’re not sticking your tongue down their throat.
Geez, not everything in the world has to be sexual. Yes, I kiss my kids on the lips sometimes (23 & 28 boy and girl) I kiss my 80 yr old dad on the lips, and my mother, my aunts etc. We’re Italian and Polish, that’s the way we roll.
I dunno, I can see how it’s okay if the kid is really young and then stopping when they get older, but why do that? Why not just kiss them on the forehead or cheek from the beginning anyways?
Definitely not sexual. I’m not overly affectionate, or really affectionate at all, but I could imagine kissing my kids on the lips (not that I have any.)
No, they should never kiss their kids on the lips. Ever. Always bugged me to see others do so.
Who cares?
@LifeNeedsProtection - *thumbs up*
My dad kissed me on the lips until the day he died. It wasn’t sexual at all. It wasn’t like he was slipping me the tongue.
I kiss my babies on the lips all the time. To each their own.
Kisses are only sexual if you make them that way.
My son kisses me just about anywhere. We have had the “no butts or privates” convo, because he runs up to my husband (not his bio father), wraps his arms around him, and kisses…. which all happens to be penis height. But he’ll be cuddling with me and kiss me, and it may land on my boob, but I know that wasn’t the intent. I also know he’ll hit an age when kissing mommy isn’t cool anymore, and he’ll stop. Until that happens, if he kisses me on the cheek, lips, chest, calf….I don’t care because coming from a almost 4 year old it is NOT SEXUAL.
Give thousands of kisses on the cheek or forehead for gods sake.
gross!
:giggles:
closed lip kisses are fine in some cultures. personally i wouldn’t do it when i have kids because i’m not an in-your-face type of person.
That woman in the article has a dirty mind. I feel sorry for her family.
I kissed my dad on the lips, as an adult. My sisters kisse me on the lips. Not sexual, just natural. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Tongue or no tongue?
Just kidding. This may be cultural (I’m Italian American and all we do is think about sex all the time….witness “jersey shore..), but I think it’s always wrong. A kiss between parent and child can be on the cheek (mwahh!), forehead (good girl!), tip of the nose or top of the head (awwe!). And that’s about it. Oh yes…. a kiss on the belly with a big ‘ol rasberry is ok too. But no kissing mouths, necks, hiny’s, wee wees. Nada. Ever.
You’ll get the herpes like that.
@PervyPenguin - HEHEHEHE Well, thank you :]
Of course. A kiss between parent and child is innocent and pure and loving. Gross people make it otherwise.
In my family, we don’t. And I do think it’s very weird and awkward when I see other families do it but ultimately kisses are pretty harmless. If your family does it then I’m not one to judge.
But I won’t. And I don’t think I’d feel comfortable if my future husband kissed my children on the lips.
thats so weird.
I PECK my parents on the lips, and it’s not like it’s an everyday thing. Only when I’m going away on a trip or something like that. As someone said, it’s only sexual if you make it that way. If a peck lasts one second then there is something wrong and that could be considered sexual. But I do not see anything wrong with it. Especially to a child.
Like the pic, kissing an infant on the lips is ok but once they grow to toddler age I would kiss on them on the cheeks
you’re slippin
@ShimmerBodyCream - kiss these
You know, I never grew up kissing my parents on the lips or anything and I always found it weird when others would do it. I always said I wouldn’t be that kind of parent but here I am with a lovely two year old who I still kiss on the mouth. I doubt I’ll do it forever (I’ve already started moving kisses to cheeks or forehead half the time) but when they’re real little, absolutely not a problem.
As far as when kids get older, it’s kind of up to each family I think. It’s like any other parenting issue, it’s to each his own I think.
I don’t see anything wrong with it but I don’t kiss my daughter on the lips.
like others have said, it’s only sexual if it’s met to be. Otherwise to each his own. Some families are more personal. I don’t kiss my dad on the lips, but I wouldn’t mind if my husband kissed my daughter on the lips. I kiss other people in my family on the lips, like my brother, who is more affectionate then some other family. I kiss his daughter, my niece on the lips, who is five and so does he. So? We don’t mean it sexually. We only “blow kisses” when the h1n1 epidemic gets bad and germ sharing could be dangerous. I think some of my family, like my aunts would be offended if I turned my cheek to a lip a kiss, because it’s for “marriage”.
I find it somewhat awkward. but i guess people come from different traditions…so if the intention isn’t incest, i don’t see anything wrong.
um, there’s def nothing wrong with a peck – its your parents! i have always, and still do kiss my parents on the lips, as well as my grandpa (and my grandma as well when she was alive). there’s no age limit to that because there’s nothing weird or sexual about it at ALL and it’s really pretty creepy that people would give so much thought to it anyway.
i feel like in America we’ve all been conditioned to over think “correct” affection and space – when in most other places in the world people kiss others right near their mouths that they barely know
@oohmyitsbrit - same here! i only will peck my parents when i’ve just gotten back from not seeing them for a while or am leaving for an extended time. and it’s literally a split second long so it can barely be considered a kiss.
I’m 21 and I still kiss both my parents on their lips. It’s just a quick little peck, so we don’t see anything wrong with it at all.
I don’t see anything wrong with it.
My son is 8 and still kisses me on the lips. He loves his mom and it is not a sexual gesture whatsoever. In cases where it would be sexual then it is, of course, inappropriate. I don’t recall ever kissing my dad on the lips but I know with my mom I had. If I was getting some weird thrill out of it then it would be wrong to do. If my son or my mom got some weird thrill out of it, then it would be wrong. I am sure at some point my son will no longer want to kiss his mama on the lips, just as I grew out of wanting to do it with my mom. No harm in it unless the intent behind the gesture is wrong.
Who cares…Get over it people. I personally don’t think it’s weird up until maybe reaching adolescence/puberty. It’s only sexual if you make it so. I never kissed my parents on their lips but I know many others that do or have and their kids didn’t turn into serial killers or animal abusers.
I used to kiss me mom on the lips last time I did I was 15 and it was a joke.. .. I never really kissed my dad on the lips because he had a mustache.. plus after about the age of 8 he kind of just quit showing affection towards me in any physical way.
I kiss my girls on the lips and I don’t see anything wrong with it. It’s just a peck and a sign of affection, that’s it.
no. that’s freakin nasty.
Up to a certain age it’s ok. I kiss my kids on the lips but they do not do that to their dad. But once they reach school age then it’s kisses on the cheeks. But I don’t see anything wrong with it.
i used to kiss my parents on the lips all the time, and when i grew up i grew outta it. how is it sexual? it’s just showing love.
My dad still kisses on the lips. If its what your family does, and your comfortable with it, why not?
I think people are just too scared of being accused of molesting their kids, or child abuse when spanking. Everythings too PC now adays.
Funny, this came up among some people at our church. We always have done it with our children–both my family and dh’s always did, and it was no big deal. I think it’s a fairly recent idea that lip-kissing is only sexual. We still kiss our parents that way–no big deal. It’s only sexual if YOU think it is.
This has a lot to do with cultural context and stuff.
Frankly, I don’t think it’s a big deal. I won’t be kissing my kids a whole lot on the lips, but that’s just because we never did in my home. I’m sure in other homes it’s done often and it’s perfectly acceptable.
it can spread oral herpes
yes.
Not everybody looks at that as something sexual. Geez. If a parent wants to kiss their kid on the lips, and is doing so affectionately, what’s the damn issue?
We kiss our daughter on the lips. She’s two. Now, I’m sure when she’s 16 or so, we’ll have stopped that, lol. She probably wouldn’t want that, anyway.
I mean, my mom and aunt always give each other a kiss on the lips, when they are saying goodbye. Are they lesbians? No. They are doing it in an affectionate way. My aunt always trys to kiss me on the lips, but I’d rather not, personally. I’ll take a kiss on the cheek, though. I don’t think it’s sexual at all, I’d just rather not. But when I was a kid? I did happily. No big deal.
It’s really not that big of a freaking deal.
I think it’s a cultural, familial thing. In our family, everyone kissed on the lips; my aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents always kissed us kids with quick pecks on the lips to say hello, goodbye…it was just a normal, affectionate greeting. Nothing sexual about it. I think people who get all “up in arms” about it are the ones who are turning it into a sexual thing – what’s going on in their minds? Sure isn’t going on in ours.
With my own kids, my grown sons now tolerate only hugs and pecks on the cheek – they would probably be weirded out by anything else – but then, they did not grow up around all my aunts, uncles, grandparents. I stil kiss my daughter hello, goodbye, goodnight on the lips sometimes, sometimes on the cheek. It’s no biggie. I think when kids are babies, toddlers, small children, it’s perfectly fine for parents to be as affectionate as you want. They’re just so huggable, kissable and loveable!
The only reason most people of today think it is “wrong” to kiss younger children, or even any age children for that matter, on the lips is because of the way the world is nowadays. Society tends to over-exaggerate everything for more than its worth for controversy. That’s pretty much agreed upon. Used to, kids could run around the beach or their front yards or kiddie parks or in the house after or before bath time stark naked and NO BODY thought of it any different as if they had clothes on. It was all in innocence. But because society has labeled naked children with child porn and possible abductions from pedophiles, parents are terrified to let their child’s leg show for goodness sake. It’s sad. People used to be able to send photos of their children playing in the bath but now it’s considered child porn and you are shunned if anyone even sees you have a photo like that. Now, it’s moved onto lip kissing with your kids? Come on. Kissing is meant to show affection and love. Making out is what you do to your with your significant other. Kissing your mother hello or goodbye, on the lips or not, should not be seen as derogative in anyway. When my son/daughter is here, I am going to kiss him/her all over because he will be the best thing that has ever happened to me. It’s even said that you should kiss your husband or wife on the lips in front of your child and say “I love you” so when you do so with your child, they associate “I love you” WITH lip kissing. Not any other nasty, perverted, derogatory, or disgusting way the media has come up with.
And IMO, that picture above is the best and most adorable picture. Shows true love from a mom and her child. Not saying that a mother who doesn’t kiss her kid on the mouth loves her child any less, but I don’t see how THAT mother above could be considered nasty.
I would not do it if I were a parent.
I think it’s okay up to a point.. like, five years old. Personally I wouldn’t do it to my children, because it makes me feel uncomfortable right now… but maybe when I’m a mother that opinion would change.
It’s no different from the european thing of kissing both cheeks of friends and family..I wouldn’t mind doing it..it means nothing..other than familial love..
@ohletitbe - You’re so right.
Once I saw my stepmom feeding her son WATER BY HER MOUTH. her son was quite a big kid back then and I guess it’s bonding to them but it looked every bit disgusting to me.
I can’t believe this issue is even being brought up, but then again I shouldn’t be surprised with how the world is nowadays. I am telling you what..me and my family are very close, always have been, always will be. I am 24 years old and still kiss both of my parents on the lips. I see nothing wrong with it. I have 2 children..ages 7 and 4..I kiss them both on the lips. It seems to me that this is something people are “making” wrong..it’s not. Showing affection like a hug and/or a kiss..(I am talking a peck, no tongue..sickos!) is fine and perfectly appropriate shared between family members. That’s my 2 cents.
I’m 29. I kiss my parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles on the lips. So do my siblings.
I guess we’re all perverts? *eyeroll*Or, we love each other, and are mature enough to be able to express it without getting the heebie jeebies.
@Rainboxx - uhhh. you’re gross for thinking that..
no one said anything about tongue, sicko.
It’s never been a thing in our family…. and now that I think of it it just grosses me out :/
Who cares? I kissed all my relatives on the lips as a kid – my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents – it’s a sign of affection – it’s not sexual.
People are so quick to make everything sexual these days.
I think just a peck is shown as affection, I used to kiss my mother on the lips, and I didn’t turn out strange from it. I still do it to this day when I go back and see her. It all depends on the parents and how comfortable they are in showing affection and how much.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Just more of humans making things sexual when they’re not. It’s not like anyone is trying to make out with their kid. Well, I’m sure some are… but they’re just weird. Once they exist, I fully plan on kissing my children as long as I live. Girls or boys. So long as they let me. I swear I’d be an 80 year old man kissing his 50 year old son. I’d have said “I’ll” but I probably won’t live to 80.
Next you know it, hugging is going to be sexual too. That’s the day I kill myself. What’s even closer is when it’ll be illegal to bathe a toddler. “Oh no” says everyone, “You’re touching your child’s naked body! You’re trying to be sexual with them! PERVERT! I’M GOING TO HAVE YOU ARRESTED!”. Or even just watching them bathe! “No way should you be allowed to see your child naked even though you’re just making sure they’re safe!” and then before you know it the human population dies because we can’t make it past age 5. Great work! I’m telling you, that’s what it’s going to come to.
I think that lovers should be kissing on the lips. Not the kids…
but like some people say, it’s cute but what age is starting to be inappropriate ??
What’s more screwed up is how averse this culture is to body contact of any kind, and how consequently it has warped expectations about those who are open to showing affection to the point that people who do not get any sort of affectionate body contact from friends and family become the sort of sick fucks that might actually sexualize something so innocent and innate to animal nature.
i dont kiss my daughter on the lips, nor does my husband. we think it’s weird when people do that. I dont know, it could be the different of cultures but we just don’t do it. When I was little, my dad accidentally kissed me good bye on my lips then later apologized about it.
When you have your first kiss, it’s on the lips and it’s exciting. Why do the same thing with your family members?
It depends on relationship and comfort level. My dad kissed me on the lips as a kid, but I remember when I started getting older – maybe 9, 10 – he started getting weird about other men, even relatives, doing it. He brought me aside and told me the only man who can kiss me on the lips right now should be my daddy.
Now there’s no more lip kissing between me and either of my parents. On the other hand, my dad still tries to get me to sit on his lap while he cuts my steak into tiny slices. I think sometimes it’s hard for parents to deal with the adulthood of their kid, their obvious lack of sexual innocence, which they have to respect despite the fact that for them, conceptually at least, you’re still six and can’t be trusted to cut meat alone without slicing your finger open or choking.
It’s sad that a dad, if inclined by intense love and not lust, can’t do stuff like that without being seen as a perv by some people – in particular their wives. I can think of a few stories.
Should and should?
I don’t think there is anything wrong with giving your child a kiss, it’s a sign of love. It’s not sexual unless you make it sexual. I’m 22 and my mom and dad still gives me a kiss on the lips. Also my 9 year old sister always kisses me on the mouth. It’s because she loves me and she know’s it’s a way to express your love.
She does not kiss her father on the mouth though, haha… she don’t like his mustache.
I guess people who are unfamiliar with the thought would see it as wrong, but if it’s been natural since you’ve been little, then of course it would be different. I still think that no matter what or where your from, a kiss is, since a long, long, long time ago a way to show love for one another, no matter who it is. It’s just nothing sexual about it… I kiss my friend on the mouth too.
what the hell is wrong with people?
do you see kisses as a strictly sexual act? yes? then don’t kiss kids on the mouthdo you see kisses merely as an expression of deep affection? ok, then go for it!
i kissed BOTH my parents on the mouth till at some point, i chose to stop. it was never, EVER a big deal
i kiss my 15m/o on the mouth constantly, and the cheeks, and the ears, and her belly, and her toes, and just in general, because when we’re playing “kiss attack” that’s how it works, and she loves it. i’m not some sick fuck who sees my baby, or any kid for that matter, as a sex object. i see her as my baby, needed all the love and affection she can get, because the world is a shitty place, and i want her to always feel warm and loved and accepted with her father and ipeople need to quit being puritanical, physical touch in general is not a big deal. hugs, kisses, holding hands, these things are not strictly sexual
geez.
I think it is fine. As long as the child wants to. Who cares?
It grosses me out when my mom trys to kiss me on the lips, but that’s because I don’t like her, not because it’s sexual.
it depends on the parents. I think kiss on the lips is good too, but they have to break this habit when the kids grow older (15+)
When I was babysitting age I sat for a family with four kids. The youngest was 5 and a very pretty little thing. The rest were boys. The way the dad kissed his daughter over and over again when he was leaving made me very uncomfortable. It was the length of the kisses and the something about how he was kissing her, always on the lips, but very creepy. Years later he was imprisoned for some child/sex related crime.
I think it’s fine, but I wouldn’t do it.
It’s kissing; what does it matter? I mean, is the father putting his tongue in the mix? No? Then, who gives a shit?
What a kiss means has more to do with how you do it rather than where you kiss.
Leave it to modern American society to twist and pervert even the most wholesome expressions of affection between parents and children… are we really that hyper-sexualized and repressed that we see everything as sexual?
What’s next? Side-hugging with your parents/siblings? Restrictions on diaper-changing?
I never did kiss my kids on the lips and still don’t. It just isn’t something I like to do. More the germ factor with me. I also don’t share drinks with them. I think in our culture at some point it gets kind of creepy to see parents kissing kids on the lips. I saw a man kiss his 12 year old son on the lips and I admit it seemed weird to me. I also know a family in which the dad still kisses the grown daughter on the lips. For a long time I thought they were husband and wife then her 4 year old told me “that’s not my daddy that’s my grandad. I’m not sure why I find that creepy.
It has to do a lot with culture. I’m part Puerto Rican and on that side of the family, affection is entirely acceptable. I’m 19 and still kiss my parents on the lips. It was never though of as sexual or shameful. I kiss my grandparents, sister, as well. I am also half black, and that side of the family leans more towards hugs and cheek kisses. I think it does depends on nationality.
And only in our twisted culture does this become a question of being inappropriate. It’s sad we have to discuss it.
I have a friend whose (who’s?) mom used to kiss her on the lips before saying goodbye. Up through highschool even. I remember thinking how absolutely bizarre that was.
No it’s not wrong, jeeeeeeze, people are so sensitive to everything! Back in the day, you had to kiss your mother when you saw her or you were considered disrespectful. I think it’s fine if the kid’s young, everybody I know does that, it just becomes gross when you’re older. But I’m european, so with my granparents we kiss do the kisses on the cheek.
It’s cultural… I don’t have kids but I wouldn’t really kiss anyone on the lips except a partner…
That father with the 5 year old daughter has a psycho thing going on with his wife which has nothing to do with the daughter so it is not appropriate. he should follow his wife’s wishes if it makes her uncomfortable… in this society, her opinion has much more weight that in some others…
I agree, it is if not inappropriate, at least questionable in this day and age for reasons of mental AND physical health… it’s germy if not sexually disturbing and provocative and what is this battle teaching this little girl?
Another screwed up American female attracted to abusive men, I’m sure…
what I don’t get is this dog kissing business! What is up with that?
at young age up to 6 it’s ok, but after that no !
We give “pecks” on cheeks usually, but when our children were a little younger we did give pecks on the lips. Once they were 3-4yrs old we encourage them to kiss on the cheek, so people who flip out over stupid things will leave them alone. Never ever has it been sexual in our family. Its absolutely ridiculous that our society has turned even innocent hugs into purely sexual things…ugh
I still give my kids a quick peck on the lips and they’re 11 (girl) and 7 (boy). I kiss my dad on the lips, but again, it’s just a quick peck. I used to kiss my mom on the cheek but that was because she had bad breath/teeth and I didn’t like her much. I see nothing sexual in a quick, loving peck of the lips. It’s gross if it’s prolonged or involves any extra motion(s) other then closed lips. You’re not making out with your kids, you’re expressing affection. Society is seriously getting uptight about everything. Sigh.
Actually this was interesting because I was watching an episode of Teen Mom not too long ago where Maci kisses Bentley’s lips (always does that) but upon his first meeting of her now boyfriend Ryan tells Bentley to kiss Ryan.
It’s a little odd that she asked him to kiss someone who’s a stranger to him but I think she was trying to see if he would be comfortable with him.
My Uncle is like 77 years old or something like that and still kisses me on the lips if he wants to. (I’m 18)
If the intent behind it isn’t sexual then more likely it’s not sexual.
I’m twenty and still forced to kiss my parents and grandparents on the lips. My brother’s fiance kisses her daughter on the lips and is teaching her to do the same with everyone. But like I said, I’m twenty and she is three. I definitely don’t think of it as a sexual thing, because I grew up with it, but I would love not to have to kiss my parents goodbye each time I leave the house. It’s just kind of awkward and weird for me, but I see it as an age thing, something I’ve outgrown, not something inappropriate.
i couldnt look at either one of my parents in a sexual way, but out of my personal preference a kiss on the lips is a no-no, my cheek is alllllll yours mama & dada
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I think the child will stop the behavior if/when it becomes uncomfortable for him/her.
I think it’s fine. People normally kiss those they love so it shouldn’t be any different for their kids. But it entirely depends on the relationship of the family.
wow… maybe she got sexually abused when she was younger or something because i can’t imagine anyone thinking that it was wrong for anyone to kiss their child on the lips. i still kiss my grandparents on the lips… now… i’m 18. i don’t get along with my parents well enough to kiss them on the lips but if i did i probably would.
I think it is weird and makes people feel uncomfortable. Even if the child is young; children are impressionable so don’t be surprise when they go around kissing their friends on the lips too.
My ex-boyfriend mom would do similar uncomfortable things like that. We would come over for dinner and she would to the normal kiss on the cheek to everyone but my ex. She would grab his head or ears depending on how she felt that day and kiss him on the cheek. IDK maybe it just me but i didn’t like it… it look too sexual.
As long as there’s no tongue.
What a silly thing for people to worry about, seriously.
I think that its ok if it was the mom. my grandmother still kisses me on the lips (even though i find it a bit akward) but a man? never
I think its fine. its whatever. Its not sexual at all and it use to be done a lot ages ago. .
I once saw a father kiss his son on the lips.. and the boy was in middle school. It’s inappropriate and should only be shared with a lover… of around their age.
Everyone in my family and extended family kisses each other on the lips?? I thought this was normal.
Depends on the kids age. I kissed my dad’s lips until maybe 10yrs-old. Even after I held his hand like he was my boyfriend until I was 13. I really loved my dad, I guess and never thought of it as any other way.
my dad stopped kissing me on the lips when I was 5… I remember being very sad haha
my mom stopped at around the same time, too – maybe a few years after. then I got to the point where I thought it was weird to so I didn’t want to anymore hahaha
@quasarglow - Thaaaannnnk you!
We kiss our 2yr old on the lips, cheek, forhead, who cares? Bottom line, it’s the intent that makes the difference if you ask me.
could you tell my 84yr old mom to stop kissing all of us on the lips -she’s been doing it my whole life-I think I might miss it now if she stops
AW, HELL NO.
My mother’s family has always been really affectionate. I still give my mom a peck on the lips sometimes when we’re leaving her house. And my grandpa, my aunts. So my 1 & 3 year old kids? Absolutely. If they get to be uncomfortable with it, I hope they’ll tell me & we’ll change things then.
My husband’s family & my dad’s family, on the other hand, are so far from affectionate that it’s not even funny. My husband is uncomfortable when his mom hugs him or kisses his cheek because it’s just not the norm for them. And I don’t remember kissing anyone in my dad’s family, with the exception of my father himself on the cheek, since his father died when I was 6. I remember he was a peck on the lips kind of guy.
I try to make sure my kids have enough love & affection. My husband was adopted at 3 weeks old & he was in a children’s home the first three weeks of his life. His dad has told me that there was little interaction beyond basic feeding & hygiene with the infants there. And then he was adopted into this family where they definitely loved him but were completely uncomfortable demonstrating it. My husband, I believe as a consequence of the combination of these two environments, is uncomfortable showing affection at all. He’s has to work hard to connect with our kids because he has never felt comfortable kissing & hugging & holding them. He’s getting better at it, but you can still tell that he feels awkward about physical contact with people sometimes.
Uh… well.. I think it’s okay if the child is under 3. Other than that it could be a cultural thing.
@ohletitbe - Yep,exactly right.
I have a very affectionate family. We always kissed each other on the lips and never gave it a second thought. I have to wonder what the issue is with people who get creeped out by it. An open eyed peck on the lips that I give to my kids is so much different than the way I kiss my husband and people who think otherwise just need to get their heads out of the gutter. However, I’m not one to judge families who aren’t as affectionate as mine. I could care less. It just bothers me when I’m judged for the way I choose to show affection to my kids.
i think it’s weird. i mean, my mom used to and i guess i didnt think it was weird when i was little but i just think it’s weird and wouldn’t do it if i had kids
that’s rediculous, i agree after a certain age it’s kind of weird .. even gross, but babys, toddlers, small kids, there is nothing wrong with it. i think my parents stopped kissing me on the lips after like 5 or 6. i kiss my 4 year old on the lips every now and then :/ she’s sweet and little so what’s wrong with it? as for my 4 mo old, i kiss her all the time
If its a small baby maybe …but a teenager most definitely Not..lol
Just as long as they are not playing tonsil hockey with their own kids, and it is just a litle peck.
How insane. It is what you make of it. I think that we as parents can cause our kids to become so self-conscious and screwed up with freaky things like this.
My family in Georgia used to, but when I moved to Florida all of my aunts and uncles did the cheek to cheek pop kiss. So that’s what I became accustom to. I’ll admit, it seems strange for parents to kiss their kids on the lips, but I have friends who pop kiss each other and it’s not a romantic gesture. I think it’s a cultural thing, some people wont see a problem with it, but I think most Americans will get freaked thinking it’s some incestuous act.
Another cultural difference concerning kisses is one my uncle told me about. He told me that when he was younger and my abuelo (which was his grandfather and my great-grandfather) would drop him off at school my uncle would kiss him. My abuelo would hesitate and try to tell him he didn’t have to. This wasn’t because he didn’t want to kiss his grandson goodbye, it was because he didn’t want to embarrass him in front of his classmates. Normally at home, a cheek to cheek pop kiss wouldn’t even give anyone a second thought, but being out in public my grandfather thought this would be embarrassing like I said. So while this wasn’t a kiss on the lips, he might have been right, some people might have found it odd. My uncle didn’t care though, he told him he loved him and he wasn’t embarrassed to kiss him.
you have got to be kidding me. i don’t normally do the whole xanga thing, but this article caught my eye.
WMHLFM isn’t wrong per se, she’s entitled to her opinion. but to say that a peck on the lips is sexual is mind boggling to me. kissing is a show of affection. i kiss my close female friends. i’ve kissed my mom, when i was younger i’d kiss my brother, i’m pretty sure i’ve kissed my dad. so what? there’s nothing that says sexual in that statement anywhere. its like when i’m hanging out with my friends. we’d make “sexual” comments and gestures, but there’s nothing sexual about it. it is all in fun.
nothing is sexual unless you make is sexual (as said earlier, and within reasonable boundaries [i.e. intercourse is nothing but]).
I say, to each their own. I’m sure a lot of cultural differences come into play. I, personally, don’t want to kiss a young child on the lips (hello, drool!), but I don’t care if other people do it. It’s a bit strange to me, but not creepy. Kissing is one of those things that can be sexual but doesn’t have to be.
I think maybe when they’re really young it’s okay, but I wouldn’t personally do it, and I highly doubt my boyfriend would do that to our children either. I’m not comfortable with the idea. Kissing on the lips, to me, is reserved for romantic encounters. Cheek, forehead, etc is for familial/friend affection.
It’s a gesture of endearment. I don’t see anything wrong with it. When kids can’t really say I love you in words, they do it with gestures (hugs kisses).
AHHA! Pecks are cute for kiddos and their parents, and acceptable, I’d say. I’m Asian, so there were no kisses past the baby and kiddo years, but it’s only a problem when there are wrong intentions behind them. And YES, I’d say lay off the kissing, if it’s highly likely that the son or daughter will get confused.
The dad here should be understanding.
i guess i never even took the time to think about this. i personally didn’t grow up with this tradition so i cant personally relate to it, but i think most of you are right when you say its not wrong unless you take it wrong, or unless the parent was doing it for other reasons aside from just love for their child. when it becomes something more, thats when it becomes a problem. and thats when it could mess up the childs thinking about parents and how they should give affection to their kids when they get older. you have to think of the psychological aspects to this as well.
This is stupid. If you are against kissing your children on the lips, then DON’T do it! Simple as that. I kiss my kids on the lips. My husband does occasionally, but usually just on the cheeks. My parents kissed me on the lips when I was a kid. When I was about 8 or 9 that stopped.
There is nothing sexual about it!
It depends on the culture of the family, or the intentions of the person. It’s only a sexual gesture if you make it one.
I’m 19 and I kiss both my parents, and my brother on the lips. It’s a simple lip peck. We aren’t making out or anything. It’s just my family’s culture, and no other family is expected to follow. I see no problem with it.
@thegirliwanttobe - It is normal. We do it too. It just depends on the family, really. For some it’s different, other the norm.
I kissed both of my parents on the lips well into my teen years. I don’t know exactly when it stopped, but it wasn’t intentional, because I still kiss several of my closest friends on the lips. It’s not erotic, it’s just affectionate. But it *could* be erotic, and I know it’s tough for parents to try to explain those nuances to a young child.
So, no, it’s not wrong for parents to kiss their children on the lips, but I think each couple has to decide what’s right for their family.
I’m 20 and have questioned this for a while. My mom has always kissed me on the lips, and my dad quit kissing me (on the lips; he still pecks my cheek from time to time) after I was about 8 or 9 I think. My mom doesn’t see it as a sexual thing, and neither have I, but because of today’s culture, I wonder if my friends who see it on occasion or anyone out on the street who have seen it think it’s strange, because I don’t notice many other families that do this, at least not past a certain age. My mom doing it doesn’t bother me (though I’m not sure that I’d do it past a certain age when I have kids); I mean, it’s always a quick peck, no different from one on the cheek or on the forehead. Her entire side of the family is the same way, and I don’t think it’s sexual unless you make it sexual. Sometimes, it’s just how your family is. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it unless you decide it is (or, God forbid, there’s an instance where sexual intentions were present, but I don’t believe we’re talking quite about those situations).
kissing their hair or their cheeks is so much cuter <3
My dad hasnt kissed me on the lips since I was my 5 or 6. My mother stopped kissing me on the lips probably 2 years after my dad. Now I could never kiss either of them on the lips. For little kids its okay, but there comes a time when it should stop!
In European cultures, it is very common for family and friends to kiss on the lips even the same gender. It’s only us Americans that consider kissing to be a sexual act.
Its cute when they’re little. After they’re 5 it becomes a little inappropriate
I do not kiss anybody on the lips. I rarely kiss anybody really lol.
I love how people are like
“uhh well, after 3 it’s ok.”
“uhhh well, maybe until they’re 16″
“not when they’re older”
well, how can it be OK up until a certain age?
Either it ALWAYS WAS OK, or it NEVER IS OK.
Jesus, people need to get their fucking minds out of the GUTTER.
? Why not?! …
i still kiss my parents on the lips, hello and goodbye. not randomly durin the day when we are hanging out though. And i kiss my son on the lips. hes only 7 months old though. and both my nephews kiss me on the lips. I think its perfectly fine to give a quick kiss. If it last more then a second or two though, then id raise an eyebrow
Actions only carry the weight we give them. If a person doesn’t consider it a sexual thing and just a sign of affection, then that’s how they mean it. You can’t tell someone how they mean something; only they know that.
ugh! my boyfriends grandmother kisses me on the lips and i think it is the weirdest thing ever. totally normal in their family – everyone kisses on the lips. maybe its an italian thing? too weird for me!
Must *everything* be Sexual? C’mon people (not those here writing) but you get my drift.
We grew up with it too…but my kids did so until about Grade 11 or 12. Now they kiss me on the cheek and i’m fine with whichever.
A peck is completely different than a lover’s kiss.
I don’t get how people can make a big deal out of it…it’s like the “Family Bed” issue. Post that one and see how many people get uptight about that!
My kids did jump in beside me and we’d all watch a movie together, or whatever. When they were 12 or 13 then it stopped on its own but there’s nothing wrong with snuggling up with your kid, or sitting close together — to this day my dd jumps in my king size with me and we’ll watch a video or both of us will snooze!
We’re so scared of stuff like this that we don’t even do what might be healthy and okay, for fear of it becoming “sexual.” Our fear often prevent us from enjoyng the human touch that we need so much. We’re losing all that in our society today.
Yeesh.
Some people do it and it doesn’t mean anything, but my parents definitely didn’t do that, and they feel really strongly about that.
It’s odd I don’t remember ever giving my parents kisses, but my daughter gets and gives tons on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter where our kisses land they all mean the same thing. I love you! I don’t think her age is going to change the view of it being sexual. She is my daughter and even when she’s 23 like me it will not be sexual. If she chooses to still kiss me on the lips at that point. I love her!
I believe it’s a cultural thing and varies between families, and I do not feel it is sexual at all.
I don’t do it and it creeps me out personally, but I have friends whom kiss their kids on the lips and I would never accuse anyone of ill intent just for a quick peck. Some people even do that to their friends. It’s not sexual unless you make it sexual. If it’s closed mouthed, who cares? I sure don’t.
OH please. A kiss on the lips can be as sexual or not sexual as you make it. just like any other gesture of affection. In a healthy parent-child relationship its not sexual in the least and suggesting that its inappropriate is just ridiculous.
It’s not for me. I’m with you on this one. Why does it have to be the lips? what about viruses? I get it’s not a sexual gesture, just why the lips?? It makes me do a double take everytime I see it between parent and child. I want to know where it’s OK. in what culture?
Here’s another question; what’s the point of a discussion forum where nobody reads anything else anyone else is saying, and the author of the post doesn’t read the comments himself?
a) This woman is a lunatic.
b) She is jealous of her husband’s love for his daughter.
c) Yes, parents should kiss their children on the lips. It’s a bonding and loving gesture and no person in their right mind would kiss their parent the way they kiss their lover.
Me and my hubby kiss our daughter on the lips. My mom and dad kissed me on the lips until I didnt feel comfortable with it anymore. (around 7 or 8 years old) I see no problems with it. Its appropriate until you dont feel comfortable anymore. My dad still kisses his mother on the lips and I see no problem with that even though im not comfortable being in that situation. People are sick. Kissing your child is not sexual, unless you make it that way. And no one should be kissing their child sexually.
ugh…people need to get their minds out of the gutter. It’s fine to kiss your child on the lips…I still kiss my mother on the lips and I’m 20 years old.
IDK why parents do, but u kno its thier son/daughter. Personaly i dont think they should, i mean cheek is ok but i think that just wrong. im not ripping on people who do i just think its wrong to do so.
but if anyone doesnt agree i dont care im sticking to my opinion
latr…..
It creeps me out. So no.
I think it’s mostly an American norm about personal space. American culture is so conflicted in that we love our very sexual and controverial entertainment yet what is proper is almost very bland. (Personal space, no PDA, apologizing if you even ALMOST bump into a stranger…)
My godparents are German and reside in Hamburg (so they are not German-American) and the first time I visited them, I was quite taken back by their greeting me with a kiss on the lips. I kind of gave them a “WHOA THERE!” but eventually I got used to it.
Did you make out with your kids when they were young? Do you still?
My dad kissed me on the lips when I was little. He still kisses my hair until I move away, the way he did when I was a baby. It’s not sexual, it’s just an expression of parental love. It’s something I’ve really missed since I’ve been at university.
‘You do not kiss on the lips unless you are married’ – WTF?
I personally feel awkward kissing kids. My nephew lives with me and I’m always pressured to “kiss him buhbye” and it’s just weird to me. I’ll kiss all over his face, but kissing on the lips just doesn’t feel right. It’s like if I were to kiss a girl, it just seems wrong. I don’t think it’s wrong for other people to do it though. It’s really just about how you look at it. I just feel uncomfortable (especially when he’s drooling -_-).
It depends on the family dynamic. Some cultures find it normal behavior while others find it strange and inappropriate. Some upbringings calls for that kind of closeness while others see it as crossing a line. But there isn’t a right or wrong to this one. There’s only choice and the responsibility that comes with it.
My family dynamic doesn’t include kisses on the lips. We give our loved ones hugs. We give them kisses on the cheeks or foreheads. Nothing more. And it’s not because we’re sick people (like a few of you are insinuating), it’s a matter of how we ourselves were raised – accustomed to. Remember… to each their own. Right, folks?
For some reason that seems like mostly a southern thing to me. And I don’t mean anything by that.
My parents never kissed me on the lips, and I could not imagine doing it to any kid.
But then again, I am very bothered by saliva in general. I’m a stand-offish person, which is why I feel I would be an awful mother. I stand far away from people whom I am talking with, my hugs are rather cold, I have little affection. If I were to have a kid, the forehead would do.
i kiss both my kids on the lips. and i will always give them kisses til I die. There my babies and theres nothing wrong with it. and if you think somethings wrong with it then its b.c your a sicko and are obviously thinking bad things. I dont when I kiss my kids I just think of how much I love them and there my babies
i wouldn’t kiss my dad on the lips but i kiss my mom.
i blogged about this! i think kissing on the lips should be between lovers…. not in a parent and child relationship, it seems kind of weird.
I am always kissed on the lips by my parents. I kinda take it to the extreme by licking my parent’s cheeks like a dog….kinda an inside joke. It annoys them like hell though.
i was NEVER kissed on the lips by any family members. i would be traumatized to my absolute core if i ever was….*shivers*
@nanoJAM - jeez sounds a lot like me…glad to know i’m not alone
I always have, always will kiss both of my parents on the lips. I think it comes down to personal preference. It’s not sexual at all–they’re your PARENTS. And there is no confusing a peck on the lips from your parents and an intimate kiss with a lover. It is silly to be so repressed about something that is basically akin to a hug.
I don’t think it’s bad when your kid is younger, but it could be realllly akward when they get older…
Also, I think it’s one of those things where it’s like–if it’s inappropriate, you know it when you see it. Like that kiss Angelina Jolie gave her brother–totally weird. A peck on the lips between a toddler and his mom–not so much.
But again, totally personal preference. Some families do, some don’t. ‘Nuff said.
I think, as infants and toddlers it’s ok. It’s not like you’re giving them a deep kiss. This is a tough question. :/ Kissing isn’t just about romance. Across the world, kissing is used between lovers, friends, and family. It’s a sign of affection.
What’s gross is people who let their dogs lick their mouths….ew. Why would you want to get kissed by something that licks its own privates?!
I don’t see anything wrong with it. It’s not like he’s shoving his tongue in her mouth, and it’s not like she doesn’t like it, and it’s not like he gets a hard-on from it.
It’s a nice gesture, it shows love.
I think it’s appropriate when the kids are younger than five, I guess… Although men kissing their daughters on the lips seem a little creepy… Especially when they say that they are going to do that until the day they die…
I don’t think parents should kiss their children on the lips. I think it’s better if they kiss them on the forehead or cheek. That’s it.
It’s weird and new to me about this but I have always kissed my parents on the cheek. No where else! My parents kiss me on the cheek, so hearing about parents kissing their children on the lips sort of scare me.
Personally, I think it is okay if the child is really young. However, I think it would be best to stop kissing them on the lips when the turn 2 or 3.. they might get remember being kissed on the lips and start doing it to other people? I don’t know.
i don’t see the big deal with a quick peck on the lips. if it was a full make out session and french kissing or whatever, then that’s a problem. any parent who wants to more than a quick peck has problems.
You guys are nuts. YES it is OK to kiss your child on the lips. If you only knew what they’re probably going to be doing with strangers in high school (hint:it’s exactly what you were doing). It’s stupid that b/c of the psychos who molest their kids that we feel like we can’t show our children love anymore.
Only a person with a sicko attitude towards sex would claim that kissing on the lips is ONLY for sex and ONLY for a spouse. Her kids are definitely going to have sexual problems when they grow up.
I still kiss my dad on the lips. most of the time it’s just on the cheek, but occasionally yes, I still do. I don’t see anything wrong with it. It’s only sexual if you see it that way
Contextual.
Unless there is tongue and groping involved, I don’t see the problem.
…I feel that’s really awkward.
New comment: So I suppose when someone kisses that shiny new piece of technology they just bought because they like it so much, it means they’re being aroused by it, right? So stupid.
Wow, there’s a lot of replies.
I only see a problem with it if the intent behind it isn’t proper. Otherwise, kissing you child on the lips is just another form of showing affection. To each their own.
However, because of events that happened in my childhood, I would be seriously triggered [into a panic attack or flashback] if I were to see this action take place or to do it myself.
In this case:
I completely agree with the article:
“that she’s jealous of the affections that her husband bestows upon his
daughter, which, for the record, I think is the real issue here, and the
kissing is just her way of expressing it and making her pathology their
(imaginary) pathology”
Being jealous of a 5 year old = full of insecurities, and overall fail.
….
And, I kiss my son on the lips… actually if I even pucker my lips he
will run across the room and give me a kiss. Not because we’re creepy,
but because I love him and he loves me; and if my significant other was jealous of the little kisses, (which are COMPLETELY less relevant than the hours of time I spend doting on him), then we would have a much larger problem on our hands since that would suggest that he doesn’t understand the natural order of things.
In my eyes: my child > The rest of the world.
I personally dont find anything wrong with it. I’ve kissed my, now 3 year old daughter, on the lips since the day she was born. Her father did the same, although recently ive noticed him not doing it as much, so its obviously starting to make him feel uncomfortable. But she kisses her grandmother on the lips as well.
I cant quite possibly even imagine it sending out the wrong message, as other people stated before, it isnt as if im sitting there sticking my tongue down her throat (the thought of that literally made me gag). I never kissed my mother on the lips that i can remember, always on the cheek and i eventually stopped that as well. But I will do it until she becomes uncomfortable with it. Ive always kissed my cousins & aunts on the lips though, its just a way to say hello. nothing more. I dont know why people have started viewing it as sexual, and only sexual. its just like women and breastfeeding i suppose, but thats a whole other rant completely.
I kissed my dad and mom on the lips until I was about 10, then it was super lame and embarrassing, don’t worry the kids will stop it when it gets inappropriate.