September 26, 2010
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Living Alone
I was talking to a friend on xanga and she mentioned she would prefer to live her life alone. And by alone I mean without a husband.
In fact, she wants to actually have kids but she does not want to have a husband around.
I am not sure I was ever cut out to be alone much less raise kids by myself.
Do you think you could live your life alone?
Comments (147)
I *could*… I wouldn’t want to, though. I think the key for me in living with someone else would be having alone *time*… it would balance out the togetherness.
Probably not. If I was never married, I’d likely find an unmarried friend and be housemates or something.
I can live my life without a husband.
But not entirely alone, I need my friends, my parents, and my brothers. 
In a way I am doing that now. I know I *can* be alone, that was an important lesson to learn, but I also really think we’re meant to pair up or at least have support groups. Humans are social.
Nooooo way in hell could I live my life alone. I am way too dependent on having a significant other. That’s why being single, right now, is the toughest thing I’ve had to endure in a year… :/
No, I don’t think so
I could live alone but it would not make me happy.
If we mean without a spouse…doing that now. Doesn’t make me happy.
If we mean alone as in “nobody else in the home at all”… again, I could do it, but holy cow. What for?
I could live my life without getting married,
but if I ever felt truly and completely alone,
I would end it.
No. I want more than anything to have a family.
More power to her. That’s not what I want though. I want a husband… someday.
No, I’m better in a crowd.
yes
It is lonely, but less stressful than having to deal with irresponsible roommates or worrying about the one you love suddenly becoming a different person down the road in the relationship and it being complicated to get them out of your lives.
I can almost understand want to live alone, but wonder why they want children. If you want to live alone, I think that is a fine idea.
I could live alone, but I would spend lots of time out of my residence.
My wife and I were separated many times due to my career, and family health issues and we both did fine.
blessings
frank
I wouldn’t want to.
i mean, i can. i would live. but i would prefer not to be.
No i’m afraid of the dark and who will kill the spiders for me?
@crazy2love - I really want to START a family…. we should hang out one night.
Nah, I’m too much of a social person.
I’m an introvert and really need my alone time, but I could not imagine raising children without my husband by my side.
Yeah I could. In fact right now I am (and prefer to).
.
If I ever find a husband and all that jazz…fantastic. But if not, I think I could manage
No. I’m too afraid to be in my house alone at night
That’s not the only reason though. I think I need someone to share my life with. I need someone to watch me, and to share things with. I need someone to watch my life story unfold with me. I need someone who actually cares about the little things that happen to me day to day–and to help me with the big stuff that sometimes becomes to much to carry on my own. Friends will only get you so far. A true mate will be there with you until the very end.
I guess some people might call that needy. I think it’s just human.
I am right now and it sucks…ok, not all the time but being a single parent really sucks a lot of the time.
i could but i wouldn’t choose to
Well yes, I would prefer to live alone if I couldn’t find a husband that’s good enough for my standards.
No and I so hope she is sterile. It would suck you be raised by someone so self centered
I know I can, I did it for eight years, but no, I wouldn’t want to try to do that with a child.
yes. i could live my life alone because i would project into my everyday life that which i missed from having a companion. after the breakup of me and b, i DID set myself to live out the rest of my days alone. the flowers i planted received names, my possessions became more special, my time to read became like a tea party for one, and i adjusted and became happy. my cat went from “my cat” to being “my best friend”. beauty came from the ACCEPTANCE of being alone. as it has turned out, i am NOT alone but in love with my soul mate. living alone never has to be painful. but surely, sharing those flowers and kitty and reading TO someone is so much more fulfilling.
I think I’d crack up after awhile if I didn’t have somebody around. As someone already mentioned, humans are social creatures. Some of us may not always like being around other people but we still need interaction. As for raising kids on my own, no way. I can barely look after myself most of the time.
HELL YEAH…if I had a dog or a cat with me of course.
With a kid? I don’t want kids in the first place, so no.
I had my own apartment when I was 18 for about a year then I shared with a roommate. I think I liked having somebody around. But I could take a few times of living alone every once in a while if I could. ^.^
Though I have a tendency to help out a friend time to time letting them using my extra bed and room. I douno why I like helping people off of the street. ^.^
People shouldn’t rely on others to define their happiness, but they do.
@PervyPenguin - Agreed!
Yes, but would like to have a friend or two.
If i couldnt find someone i WANTED to spend my life with (raither than settling for just anyone), i’d be content with being alone. Not happy, but content. Which is better than miserable.
Hell. Yes. Doing it.
I don’t want to but I’ve lived along this far in life so it’ll probably end up that way.
I couldn’t live my entire life alone but I think I could spend a few years in an apartment of my own. I would still have my significant other just no one else living with me. It would be nice to not having clashing personalities or different ways of living under one roof. If I want my room a mess then I can have my room a mess.
No.. but I am
Never since I found someone I wanna spend my life with. I rather not be alone anymore..
If I didn’t have the guy I have, then I’d rather be alone. I don’t want to be alone because I have him, but no one could replace him…so alone would be the way to go.
I can deal with being alone, but I’d be really poor.
yes quite happily.
I’d like to have a husband someday, but if need be, I definitely could live alone. I have done so before and LOVED it. I wouldn’t want to be a single mom though. I’d just adopt other people’s kids as my honorary nieces and nephews.
I hope I could. But whether or not I would actually want to is a different story.
i could, but i wouldnt want to
i live a lone not like to have a famley and kid i help wase my neafer and 2 siter
I was a little afraid of living completely on my own in my own apartment, but also really excited about it at the same time. I’m actually kind of antisocial, and I knew that. But felt really happy about having my own room with roommates, because I could go shut myself up in my room if I needed to, but could also go out and be social if I wanted to.
Now I live on my own, with just my cat as company… and actually I don’t mind it. But when I’m craving socialness, it can be pretty hard. Luckily, I do know a few people in town. Which is nice, being new to town and all that. If I didn’t have that, it would be VERY very hard.
Does this person love her husband?
She’s not alone in this. I know a lot who think similarly. Anyway, in a society where family ties are not so strong, it can be expected.
I wish I could live alone right now…That would be awesome…but I wouldn’t want it like that forever. I’d like to live with someone eventually…
my mom leaves me alone everyday to go to work. no siblings and no friends nearby. i spend most of my time reading or writing. i’m fine.
i live my life alone, but raising my child…..it’s hard at times and sometimes i miss companionship, but my child and i get along just fine.
I couldn’t live all my life alone. When I see my future, I don’t see a husband most of the time, so maybe I’m going to marry the perfect husband, have plenty of kids, but he’ll die? I don’t think I could live my whole life alone. I would never want to live like that…
I could live alone, but it doesn’t mean I’d want to. Raising kids alone can be done, but it’s not always easy. I wouldn’t want to do that either unless I absolutely had no other choice. I like my alone time, and if I really wanted to be alone, I would just say “I need my alone time right now.”
Nooooo. I need love in my life. I can’t wait to have a husband. (:
yes, I refuse a husband, but both times I’ve lived alone, I’ve had issues with people. So I’ll probably try to find someone who wants to live alone as well.
It’s inconvenient for a lot of us to have mates, or we can’t by odd social rules. I mean, they force us with a partner who’ll ruin us even more than we already are.
i do not want to live alone, but i do not want to have children. i am afraid that i would mess them up, as silly as that sounds.
nope. i love having someone to love
although i do want a husband, i don’t want kids… or, especially, i don’t want to birth/create kids. i suppose i wouldn’t mind adopting.
Definitely not. I’ve always dreamed about having my own family, husband included.
oh no, i start going crazy after being alone for too long… haha, i hate long weekends because it’s an extra day or two of craziness. i would hate to come home every day without someone being there to talk to or just be around.
It seems I will have to learn.
Yes, I can. I’ve done it before but it takes a certain kind of mindset to do it. On the other hand, it can get lonely but the freedom outweighs the cons.
Having a family is one of my dream when I was kid until present
So I wouldn’t let myself live my life alone. I will really need a friend (husband) who will ask me what did I do today and kiss me 
I couldn’t live alone…I’d be lost without my wife….and I don’t believe God intended for anyone to live their life without someone in it to share it with….
Um…YES! I wouldn’t trade my husband, but if anything happens with us, it’s the single life for me.
I’m not looking for a husband, I just don’t think that’s going to happen…so I am preparing to have a life without that. I’m going to have a career and I’m going to have friends and family, but I would prefer to live alone, without and SO. And I think people that NEED a husband or NEED someone is relying to much on other people, why CAN’T you do it by yourself? I mean, its not like its IMPOSSIBLE. I am all for people who would just like to be married and have a husband, nothing wrong with that…but people who HAVE to have a S/O…why?
@trunthepaige - how is that self-centered? If she wants to live alone fine… I personally want to as well. Do you just NEED a husband SOOO badly that you can’t fathom being on your own? I want to adopt, I personally don’t see a need for a husband…now if I do find someone I want to marry, then okay, that’s how its going to go down. But personally I don’t think someone will want to marry me…lol, if you want to know the truth.
This is something I consider often, because I don’t really prefer people in the physical form.
I don’t want to say I don’t prefer men, because women peeve me just as equally, if not more at times. I can enjoy people from a distance. But it’s when people start to either become dependent on me, or wish for me to become dependent on them, that things get messy. I love children, but I think it’s because they’re supposed to be dependent. Adults are not. If I could find a husband who would leave me alone, and not make me touch his disgusting feet, then I’d probably do it. But until then I’m flying solo. (of course this doesn’t mean I live in the mountains with a bunch of goats, and eat tree bark. one could only wish… 
)
@JustAnotherGuy35 - well not everyone is so lucky to find someone. I mean congrats to you I’m happy for people who have a good marriage, but I just don’t see that happening for me, personally…I don’t see anyone wanting to marry me I don’t see myself trusting anyone enough to want to marry them, and if I can’t trust anyone…what’s the point in even getting married? What’s the point in thinking about it? I’m independent, I can make it on my own I don’t NEED anyone…but that’s just me. No offense.
@Daniella_Aalyiah_Li - She needs to live alone, that is self centered and she can’t handle a relationship but she wants children. Sorry that is not someone who should have them
I think that I could, I feel the same way. I want kids but I don’t want a husband. I think that marriage is sometimes a big headache.
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@trunthepaige - Well personally I can handle a relationship just fine, and if I find someone I want to marry, fine with me. But if I don’t, I still would like to have children, adopt them and take care of them. So you’re saying single people aren’t allowed to have children? I mean that’s your opinion and that’s fine, but my Mom raised me and my father died before I was born…so what? She was supposed to run and find herself a husband quick! Or, better yet? Just give me up to a nice little married couple…? I mean, I’m not jumping on you…its just I’m independent, I can do things on my own, including taking care of a child, ESPECIALLY if I have my career set and I have the means to do it. And that’s what I intend to do, and that child or children will have the most loving, caring Mother in the world…I just choose not to base my life on IF I get married…IF I find a good S/O…I’m simply preparing for what is more likely to happen.
@FallingSafely - One raising kids by yourself has dismal record and two if you can not handle a relationship with another person, why do you think a child would be any different?
@Daniella_Aalyiah_Li - Have you looked at just how well most single mothers do raising children? The jail system is filled up with the results. Children are not pets and if anything are a lot harder to do well than a marriage
Everyone technically could. But I certainly wouldn’t
want
to. One of my lifes wishes is to get married and have children. Finding love and growing old with a man is what I want to do.
@trunthepaige - I cannot handle a relationship with a man. Can I raise a child now? No I cannot. I fully admit that.. I do know that in the future, if I continue to progress at the speed I am now my ability to raise children will be just fine. I am only 23. To ask a human beings mind to bounce back from something like that is impossible. All the therapy in the world wouldn’t do it. There are people out there that should NOT be raising children. If I was one of those people in the future also, I wouldn’t allow myself to do it.
@trunthepaige - Oh man, I guess I better prepare to go to jail then…oh shoot. Guess I better drop out of college, even though I’m in Honors College, majoring in Psychology and Arabic with a minor in Intelligence AND have a four-year scholarship. Aw, shoot, I guess my sister, who got her Ph.D and is currently a professor better take herself right on to the jail cell…because apparently we are just doomed. DOOMED I TELL YOU.
But seriously, I respect your opinion and I can’t blame you for it…
@trunthepaige - Why is she self centered to want to raise kids but have no husband? You don’t know her past that formed her future. I want to adopt kids from across seas, and it is not a priority for me to have a husband. Ya, hi I was ______ when I was a child by a man and currently I can’t shake hands with them. If you expect me to marry one and have sex with him, so that I can put more little people in this world then we already have. I’m not sure who the selfish one is? I am so sick of your fucked up comments!
It’s weird. Though I prefer to be dependent on someone, most days I enjoy being by myself. I’m stoic, I don’t need anyone else; I’d like someone, though.
And I could never have kids. Just, never.
@trunthepaige - o and single mother stuff is usually because of a messy divorce, young mothering and dysfunctional families that come with divorce.
@Daniella_Aalyiah_Li - Its called odds, lots of people beat them but most do not. I think it would be far better if you find yourself a partner to help you beat the odds of raising children. And you tell me that relationships are not really a problem for you, other than not having one right now.So what would wrong with waiting?
@FallingSafely - And trying to do things alone, with a history of not being good at interpersonal relationships has nothing to do with it?
I’ve been thinking about living life without marrying, actually. I do want to raise children. I like being self-sufficient. I do not sleep around; I don’t hold any attachments to guys. My friends and family are supportive.. Why not?
probably not, but life can be as great
I imagine it would be really tough to not have someone to share both the burdens and joys of kid-raising with
I could but I’d really rather not. I thrive on companionship.
lol the guy’s face in that pic cracks me up!! anyway…yes, i know i could live alone. i would love it, i think.
It sounds like this lady is enjoying being single and making the most of it, nothing wrong with being self confident and independent. However the choice to be a single parent is not an easy one unless there are other support systems around whether family members, other parents, social/faith community.
Personally I have raised my family and am on my own, finding that enjoy both solitary and social times. Good circle of friends and odd family member but really do enjoy the quiet on my own reflective times.
I could.
I have been a loner all my life so it won’t be that hard to live the rest of it alone. It’s personal preference. Most of my friends would not understand how I can stand being so lonely, but on the other hand, I would never understand why they have such strong urges to avoid loneliness.
Possibly…I, however, am more happy when I’m with someone. Being able to know that someone is with you every step of the way…is not so much more comforting, but a little reassuring. (not sure if that is the right word I’m thinking of)
I think about it all the time! The more crappy guys I date, the more I realize that maybe I’d like to live life without a husband. But who knows? That mentality might change!
yes. relationships can get freaken annoying. I rather live independtly now
If the alternative is having a husband, I can stand to live alone, haha. But seriously, I wouldn’t want to live alone long-term, especially not raising kids by myself.
Of course I could .nd I would love it. But I wouldn’t have children. NO WAY.
I don’t want to live alone but it’s hard to find a nice guy, so I know what she means.
I’d definitely be able to, but I wouldn’t want to. I’m looking forward to getting married. I can’t wait to go to sleep and wake up with the person I love :]. And I know I could move in with my boyfriend, but I feel like marriage is (and should be) a huge deal. It’s a huge commitment and I can’t wait for it :].
I don’t think I could raise kids by myself. I haven’t reached the point in my life where I know if I want to have kids. If I decide not to, then I might live alone. I definitely could. What I question is whether I’ll ever be able to live with someone permanently. I haven’t found someone who I can live with, really.
why not. haha. living alone and independant is my dream. i can’t imagine raising kids alone though, that’s tough work ‘n i’m too lazy.
i think i’d rather have a pet than a kid.
I could, but I would never choose to.
I wouldn’t want to in the long run, no. I eventually want to get married. (TBH, I’ll be shocked if I don’t marry my boyfriend but we’ve already discussed and agreed that we shouldn’t get engaged until after we’re both finished with college and I personally would prefer to wait even longer, til I finish academy and spend a year on the force) I just don’t want to be married right NOW. I have a lot of stuff I need to focus on before I get married.
I didn’t want to wait to have kids though, I had my daughter when I was 20 (22 now). Maybe that’s not the typical route to take and most people assume she must have been an accident, but I really wanted to be a mother and I didn’t feel like I needed to be married to become one (complete opposite of my mom who got married at 18 just so she could have kids lol didn’t have them in that marriage though she did have kids in each of her three subsequent marriages. She’s currently ending her FIFTH, married to her fourth husband a second time and surprise surprise, they’ve separated again)
living alone rocks the caspa! (w/o husband/boyfriend)
i love being the boss of my son without advice from the peanut gallery!
ive thought about this a lot, especially in the eight years ive been in a commited relationship. And although I know i am capable of being alone and sufficent. I think humans are meant to have companionship, we need a witness to our lives. Someone who wants to see you through the good the bad and the ugly. Without that, lifes memories and milestones die with us. We crave companionship and intmacy because life is meant to be shared. Now cohabitating and relationships in general are difficult and of course we have moments where we question how things could be but life is difficult, having somebody who wants to experience it with you is priceless.
People who say they don’t want to have a husband or wife are probably just afraid of commitment OR afraid of being hurt.
The probelm with me living alone would be my sanity. If I lived alone I would constantly argue with myself, more than usual. I’d drive myself crazy and then completely lose touch with reality. Eventually, my parents would find me. Probably just laying there completely detached from all sensory functions. This would be shortly after playing hours of video games, eating multiple bags of Funyuns and dancing until I pass out in a room with speakers that just barely fit between the floor and the ceiling with strobe and black lights running.
not married is not equivalent to alone. a woman can have a very fulfilling romantic and social life without ever getting married.
I have been living alone for the majority of my adult life… I love it. The past 8 yrs I have had my children; which is also fine but I wouldn’t recommend having kids in most circumstances unless you plan on having a partner. Kids require a staff in my opinion! Ever since I was little I loved my alone time; and now as an adult it’s the same way. I am concerned how it will be to really live with somebody forever since I thrive on my alone time. But I suppose I will have to get used to it, if not it’s all good ’cause I rarely to never feel lonely.
i’ve been alone for 33 years. it used to suck back before bitterness and mistrust took over, now i don’t think i could stand having someone around.
@BeautifulB_227 - it isn’t fear, it’s inevitability. i forget which comedian said it “i’ve been married so many times im never doing it again. if i ever do get the urge to get married i’ll save myself a lot of time and just find a woman i hate and give her half my stuff.”
the point is, when you experience certain things with consistancy, it’s best to learn from mistakes and simply avoid the situations that contain the problem. in my own case i would say i have nothing left to be afraid of because my worst fears have already come true; i simply see no need to repeat past mistakes, like trusting people.
No. Somebody has to clean and cook for me. Maybe I will get slave children.
No, I cannot see myself having a girlfriend, possibly getting married. I know kids will be a no no because of medical condition and I dont know the future of it.
being challenged to the max during pharmacy school (me right now) – below avg in intell are the ones who feel that they’re being challenged to the max. chilling should be the word. pharmacists and physicians who feel challenged in school should not brag about their “accomplishments” in front of the public – learn to bow their heads before their betters. we can’t face the truth that’s why we can’t tell people that our frontal cortex doesn’t have that many neurons.
http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=765828
I would live alone, but not for my whole life, lol. You can still have people over, so I feel like living alone isn’t that big of a deal. It’s more that if you live by yourself your whole life you obviously haven’t found a companion or spouse). In the short term, it sounds nice.
I could, but I wouldn’t want to. I like having a special someone to share things with.
I would rather live alone than to just marry someone to avoid being alone. I would adopt a kid or two if I wasn’t able to find a husband.
I could if I had to but I would not want to. I lived alone for 5 months because of my job and I did not like it one bit and spent almost every weekend at my best friend’s house so I wouldn’t be alone.
In my current situation, I’d LOVE to live along, maybe even permanently. then again, I don’t feel I’ve ever really connected with anyone else, so maybe I just don’t know what I’m missing. Maybe I don’t want to know.
Yes, with good health, but what if that changes? And people who tolerate solitude, many times have had a hard time of it.
Birds often have yearlings who help with future nestling, their need to be bonded circles of adults who are committed to one another and their children for those who do not have families to care for the young and old.
No… what kind of head case do you have to be to want to live without your husband? Either he did something really bad, or there’s something wrong with your head. IMHO.
I think there’s a time for everything. I am glad I raised a child mostly alone, and I had reinforcement from the child that was enough to let me know she would interfere if I dared have a relationship with a male. On her 18th birthday, the man I would marry moved in with me. She had moved out. I would not want to live my life alone now.
no…I don’t like not being married. But marriage does not appear to be in the cards for me.
I don’t think I can. I’m grew up in a big family so I’m always around people and I’m use to it.
Funny. I desire the same thing.
I don’t think I could live “alone” per se; just with a “life companion” maybe. At times, marriage is an institution..it adds pressure, expectation, and certain worries and restrictions that are rather unncessary. Two people can live together happy and raise a family without having a document say that they are together..
i dont think I would want to raise kids myself. that’s just crazy
I always thought I would live alone… never saw myself with a husband or kids… Idk always that stuff was a luxury in life… and if it happens OK great… if not OK I’m not disappointed never thought I would have it anyway…
I would really, really like to live alone. I might even live with a roommate, but never a husband.
Sometimes I think that would be easier than maintaining my marriage. I’m practically a single parent as it is…my husband is fairly detached from the daily lives of our children & I. Usually, he goes to work, comes home to change, goes disc golfing… and gets home just in time to tuck the older one into bed. About once a week or so he handles bath time. On the days, he doesn’t work, his schedule is basically the same, except we can replace work with sleeps, plays video games, and hangs out with his friends.
Of course, I wouldn’t get to spend the time I do with our kids if I was single, because I would have to have a real job.
But sometimes I honestly think I would rather be really alone than trying to convince myself every day that I have a partner in this venture called parenthood. It is difficult to lie to oneself.
No way. I could live without ever getting married or having children (although that is what I want most out of life), but I absolutely cannot live without a companion of some sort. And by companion I mean someone who could be there for me emotionally and physically…if you get my drift.
That’s the plan, and I like it.
I laughed out loud at this question! I just left my husband of 19 years. Hell yeah I could!
im sure that i could live alone but im pretty sure that i would prefer to live not alone :/
to deliberately have kids without a husband is not a good idea
I would die.
Yeah. I think I would perfer to live alone. Men just screw you over, and hurt you or cheat on you. No one is perfect, and that’s life. It’s alot safer to live alone. I don’t really even want kids though. People are greedy and selfish. Sometimes you want to do your own thing without waiting on anyone in life.
@trunthepaige - I’ve just decided I don’t care about your opinion and I’m not going to convince you anytime soon. Really you’re just someone on the internet…
@FallingSafely - Not likely it takes a good argument to change a mind.
Already am.. living alone!
Definitely prefer to be with someone. On another note, though, what is it with all these women who want to have kids but don’t want to have a man? You can’t have it both ways. It’s selfish to purposely bring a child into the world without a father figure, just because you don’t want to.
I could, but I don’t want to.
I am living alone and loving it! No kids, no husband (just dating and he has his own place to go home to), right now not even a pet. No one to be responsible for but myself. its wonderful.
I could.
I could, but I don’t think I would want to.
Raising a kid can be very stressful and having someone else around can be very helpful. But this lady probably has her reasons of why she likes living alone
I might be able to live my life alone, but I would never be able to raise kids alone. That takes a lot out of you. I’m thankful to have my husband as a partner in parenthood and as my best friend so we don’t have to live life alone.
Yes. My mate could live next door. That might be cool.
I could live alone. I don’t particularly want to though. I too am in the camp of if you want to live alone, why do you want children? They take up far more time and resources then a husband would.
Would prefer not to, but I think I could.
It’s a matter of age