November 30, 2010
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eHarmony
I am sitting here talking to a woman who is unaware that I am blogging about her. She is going on and on here at work saying “blah blah blah.”
But she is looking for a guy on eHarmony. She is getting photos of these guys and I am trying to help her pick a guy out.
So many of the guys have a ton of photos with their children or their dogs. I told her that it is weird that a guy would have 75% of his photos with his child. I told her that is the oldest trick in the book. A guy who is posting photos of his children and photos with his dog is trying to look all warm and sensitive. I told her “Men are not warm and sensitive so you should reject any guy who is pretending he is warm and sensitive.”
Do you think a guy looks more attractive if he is with a child or a dog?
Comments (55)
I actually feel the opposite… insensitive as that sounds…
I…really wouldn’t know. But as far as what I look for in women, I prefer someone who has better conversation skills than just, “blah blah blah.” Just sayin’.
Dog. Big dog. =]]
A pet is one thing a child I would be wary he has baggage. I know that’s not fair of me to say considering I was a single parent when I used dating sites. It’s just that you always hear about the “crazy ex” when women meet men with kids online. Their ex always seems to be lurking in the background trying to either hook up or milk money out of the guy. I also think Eharmony is a crock. If I were single that would be the last dating site. Then again that’s just my opinion.
uh, i suppose a child. i think guys who post pictures of themselves with their dogs on dating sites are tools. i use that in the politest way possible. guys with children are at least a little more realistic. a man with their dog reminds me of a christmas card commercial or those frames you buy in a store for your own pictures but there’s already a picture in it..
I’d automatically ignore any pictures of a guy with kids – unless he was otherwise really amazing. I don’t want the baggage of being a step-parent-kinda and I don’t want to have to deal with either the EX or a dead wife/girlfriend dragging him down and making me live up to her perfect memory. Dogs I can deal with, as long as he has some interests outside of the dog, and isn’t one of those crazy people.
Why would a woman want the baggage of a child not her own? But keep the dog, I say!
I think he’s trying to pretend he’s responsible and fatherly.
I think this is hilarious. Because I am not a fan or dogs OR children. That means he’s tied down already!
wow, now i know what to look out for. not that i use eharmony anyways.
Dog… def dog….
my ex was trying to pull that off!! but i am one of the people that loves posting pictures of my children. they are just my world! but however i would not have any idea how many guys are really that honest with themselves when posting pictures. I will admit that this does ring true in most cases.
guys are one big time fakers online. total icebreaker.
ugh, if he’s in pictures with HIS kids heeelllzzz no. REJECT! way too much baggage lolll
As a self-proclaimed Match.com “expert” (I wrote a book), a man that has more than one picture with his kids or (note the word “or”) his animal, or his buddies, isn’t the kind of guy I’m going to want to be dating.
He’s going to have kid-duty, when I want to have sex. He’s going to need to go back to his apartment to walk the dog, when I want to have sex. He’s going to be getting text messages from his kid, while we’re in the middle of sex. And he’s going to be thinking of having a beer with his buds while I’m tring to initiate sex. (slight exageration, but you get the point).
As for the other main type of women who is internet dating–the one who forgot she was turning 30 and all of a sudden needs to have kids and a husband immediately–is also not going to be well served by the guy who puts lots of photos of his kids and his dogs and his fish on his profile. He’s already got a family. A very large one. He just lost the cook and bottle-washer and (insert words here) and needs a replacement for the wife he just lost. He’s unlikely to want to start a new family with you.
So get your priorities right, guys, if you want to meet someone thru internet dating and have sex. Remove the pictures of the dogs and the kids and the male frat buds. Girls, just pass on those guys with all the photos of their kids and animals.
I’d be wary of a dog on a practical level (I’m horridly allergic to some breeds), and I don’t think I’d date a man with a child. I am not at a point in my life where I can handle that kind of responsibility/history, and I do not yet wish to push myself to that point.
I am laughing so hard. This is one of your funniest posts ever. I love you, Dan, but I’d never ask you to help me pick out a guy. I’d be too suspicious that you’re looking for a good story to tell on xanga. I hope your coworker isn’t on xanga. Then again, that could make a good story!
dog vs child…
idk, I would find it weid tobe with a guy who loved his dog so much, but at this age I wouldn’t want to have to take care of a child. I just want the chance to fall in love with the guy!
I’d say dog
Nope, got a kid and 2 dogs of my own…I don’t need his
With his baby, yes. I am more attracted to a male if I see a baby, or I was. @_@
Pets? Not so much.
Kids are definitely a turn-off . . . But if the dog is more than 50 pounds and not ugly then that can help.
My sister has a Dutch Shepherd, which is known for being a police/attack/Schutzhund dog. When she’s walking her dog she gets all the muscly tattoo guys going up to her asking what kind of dog it is.
My fluffy Aussie usually just gets comments from old ladies.
Then again, I grew up with a lot of kids, so I’m used to them 24/7.
“Men are not warm and sensitive so you should reject any guy who is pretending he is warm and sensitive.”
Really?
pah, dogs are hugely overrated.
I’m thankful to be past the whole dating thing. I think I’d be more concerned about the man who never has anyone in the photos with him.
I agree. They’re trying to make you think something that isn’t true.
I completely disagree. I think if a guy has pictures of his children, it is showing they are an important part of his life and come along with the package. And most guys see their pets as their children, so again, it’s a package deal. If i were on eharmony because i were single, i might have a picture of my child because i wouldn’t want to mislead anyone into thinking i didn’t have that kind of ‘baggage.’ But then again, i wouldn’t want the whole world to see pictures of my child….especially because anyone i would meet would not immediately meet my daughter. It would take a LONG time.
I think anyone who posts pictures with their dog or their kids looks like a damn idiot. Same for the people who open a dating profile page with ” Im a parrent and I love my kid more than anyone or anything in the world so if you cant respect that then go away” Get a life you lame ass. If your a parrent that should be a known fact, not something that needs stated. You just look like an idiot.
That’s unfair, I think. Most people in this country are animal lovers especially dogs. You really can’t judge someone by their pictures.
A pet is different from a child. I wouldn’t mind a pet. But a child is a different story. My boyfriend’s brother is the biggest douche I’ve ever seen. He posts pictures with his child and posts things about he is thankful when he gets his child for a weekend, but he could care a two shit about her. He’s never watched her in his life. His parents do. But for some reason, girls fall for it.
Humans are deceivers.
[Do you think a guy looks more attractive if he is with a child or a dog?]
I’m gonna let the question speak for itself. Just…just read it again. *facepalm*
he’s prob trying to make it obvious that he has kids so he won’t be later rejected for it. after all, our people magazine society doesn’t bother to read –even profiles–they just look at the pics.
however, i think it’s pretty weird to put pics of your kids on a dating website. isn’t there some sort of privacy law that protects kids from parents who are on the prowl and want to splash their pics all over the internet world?
@juslitome - yup, i reject warm and sensitive men, and their boyfriends. works well.
Not reallly
Yes but as most guys do not like having their picture taken, the ones they have tend to be ones taken with someone else
Child maybe, dog definitely! Any guy that is good with dogs makes me become putty in their hands. What can I say? I’m an animal lover.
i’d much rather start a family of my own.
you are so right -i always say if a woman is looking for a man-she doesn’t have one
I would say neither but if I really had to choose one, I would choose the dog. I can’t deal with someone’s baby mama (especially if they’re the crazy kind).
dog, yes. btw, okcupid is free. lawl
I guess the gals need to beware of the dogs in dating services.
no, i think it’s fucking lame.
terrible word choice, but seriously.
I love dogs too. Don’t get me wrong. And children.
I’d prefer starting a fresh relationship.
Those websites are stoooooooooooooooooooooopid. So stupid.
Dog..or animals, okay.
A child who’s not hers.. ehhh.
I’m looking for a hot babe who owns her own WWII Jeep. Send photo of Jeep.
@lenybobsyouruncle -
…it’s okay if you do. just send them over to me!
I always smile at the dog or kid, and then at the guy, because you know, it’d be really rude if I just smiled at them and not him. I guess I do find it attractive.
I dunno about pictures. I don’t feel like I’d be drawn in the same way.
Ow! Ow! *jumping out of her seat, waving her hand around* I know this one!! I’ve been on the dating sites lately and…I will take some idiot pimping out his kid/s and dog over the losers that take pictures with the sun behind them and in dimply lit closets.
hahaha loved the first part of this.
also, I think its kind of funny. its like stating their emotional baggage with a picture. “by the way, if you want to date me, know that I will never like you more than my kid and if my 2-year-old hates you, you’re gone!” posing with the dogs is just weird. whenever I want to take an attractive picture I don’t go grab my cat hahaha
Two things you might want to consider:
1. Most people using an online dating or relationship site aren’t using ‘tricks’ to pick their photos. They are simply trying to find a recent photo of themselves that they LIKE. Since most of you have probably used online dating, you should know this. So, if you think a guy posting photos of himself with his kids is a weird attempt at emotional manipulation of the viewer, you are either: Assuming yourself, on average, to be a better person than the ‘rest of us’, or; You’re an idiot. Actually, either way you’re pretty much an idiot.
2. If you have a kid, and aren’t a total narcissitic a-hole, then most of your recent photos will be of you with the kid(s).
Yeah, I think there is something really sexy about a good dad. Having said that, if I were single it wouldn’t make me want to date him. In reality it would probably go the other way.
Stoplight confession!
I’m ashamed to admit this because I reffffffffuuuuuuuusssssssseeeeeee to be attracted to a married man/baby daddy. It’s just wrong. However, I was at a stoplight today and I saw this really attractive guy- dark hair, grizzly beard, jamming to some music- and I admit, I was checking him out… While he was pulling away, I saw two ridiculously adorable kids in the back. Fail.
I prefer pictures of men posing with their pay stubs.
I love dogs and kids….my dog and my kids! If I were to fall in love…I’d fall in love with the guy…..wouldn’t matter about the dog or kids…I’ve got my own
Grrr well, I don’t usually comment on things but this really bothered me.
“Men are not warm and sensitive so you should reject any guy who is pretending he is warm and sensitive.”
These sort of statements are exactly what is wrong with the dating world. It’s like people who say all women are overly-sensitive, or over-analyzers, or all men care about is sex, blah blah blah. People wonder why their relationships never work out, maybe it’s because they’re constantly stuffing the entire gender under these categories, maybe it’s because you’re looking at your significant other as “women” or “men”, instead of a real person.
I say your advice should be heeded. Men are not warm and sensitive.