January 25, 2011
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Masturbating In Front of Your Spouse
Tonight I was hearing the TV play in the background and I heard Dr. Laura Berman on Oprah’s OWN channel.
Dr. Laura Berman is a sex therapist and she told a married couple that they should masturbate in front of each other. Both the husband and the wife said they felt uncomfortable with the idea.
It is funny because I have read that some people say that masturbation is a sin. And I have heard people say it is wrong for even a married person to masturbate in front of their spouse.
Is it wrong to masturbate in front of your spouse?
Comments (87)
Uhm, I’d rather just play with each other. But hey, that’s just me.
Nope, it’s pretty sexy actually.
Nah, it’s great.
Nope…just weird!
Well… guys are visual. So I would think that my masturbating in front of him would actually add to our sex life….
I always found it to add rather than detract.
It’s not wrong. A little awkward at first maybe but whatever.
It is wrong to kill kittens in front of your spouse? Cause that’s what you’re doing when you spank the monkey.
No.
maybe it’s just a sin infront of someone else’s spouse and not yours.
I’ll tackle that issue when I have a wife. … I wouldn’t mind her doin it though.
i rather just “play” with my boyfriend.. but he does that in front of me sometimes.. but i help.. but other then that..i rather like the guy to make me “excited” then i do it haha i might be weird but ooh well (:
It’s worth a try!
Na, not into seeing that.
Nope. There’s nothing wrong with it.
To me, it would be like saying, “I excite myself more than you excite me.” My self-esteem is low enough as it is.
I’ve never really straight-up touched myself in front of my SO while he watched. We’ve touched each other and ourselves during foreplay, and I touch myself while we do the deed, but I feel uncomfortable if I’m trying to get off by myself and he watches.
what the???
Why would it be wrong? To each his own and all that jazz.
@Rob_of_the_Sky - you kill kittens with your ‘junk’ while spanking monkeys?! i am impressed… such a chance encounter could happen once or twice by accident… i am throughly impressed…
… which reminds me, why don’t the monkeys attack you when you spank them?
@WordsandThoughts - seconded!
To spill or not to spill, that is the question
Its a form of foreplay…I see nothing wrong with it.
Hell, even sex is considered a sin (lol I like how I worded that).
Why does it seem like all the fun and exciting things are sinful? Seems like crap to me.
wrong? I dont know. But what you got to do the next time your wife is not in the mood for sex, is do a jfk. You get yourself prepped and ready and then when she least expects it preferably while riding in a convertible limo, you got to hit her with a surprise triple cum blast to the head. It doesn’t really solve anything, but its funny as hell.
everything is a sin. so why not have some fun since you’re on your way to hell anyway?
@OtakuPaige13 - ive been going to church for years, and yea.. everything that feels good is sinful. like premarital sex is a sin.. but once you’re married, im pretty sure you can’t just have sex all the time. im pretty sure it’s just when you want to have kids. which is kinda bogus.
nahhh. no problem with it.
It’s totally hot! I love it. Part of what makes it hot for the woman is knowing her man is watching her, and so playing it up is fun and makes us feel sexy.
I don’t think all guys like it though, weird o.O but oh yeah watching a porn of a girl getting off is hot…??? That shows insecurity.
Wrong? Heck no, but it’s not for everyone!
It’s hot. I like watching my SO and I like it when he watches me. :]
as long as pleasure is between
I always thought it was hot.
“And I have heard people say it is wrong for even a married person to masturbate in front of their spouse”
In the wise words of Limp Bizkit, “It’s all about he said she said bullshit“. People say the world was going into the stone age in 2000, people say it will end in 2012 when the zombiepocalypse comes and we’re all shit out of luck because all the shotguns magically disappeared and now we’re all fucked. Because: Shotguns > Zombies.
Well assuming the married couple knows all about the birds and the bees and mommy and daddy have baked a cake before. What is so wrong about the wife wanting to ring her own bell in front of her husband? Unless they had sex with their clothes on, in the complete dark, and he was a one minute man. That makes no sense to me. That’s like asking,
“Is it wrong if I put my penis into my wife’s vagina that I am married to?”
Of course if you have sex like the middle aged British couple from Family Guy I will completely understand. If you aren’t completely comfortable with your spouse you aren’t comfortable with yourself as a person even though you should be because it’s your spouse. The same goes for “learning to love yourself in order to love others”. I thought Dr. Kinsey already broke the damn ice back in the 1940′s. I mean wathafuxup?!
@xxx_MYLiFE - I’m very critical when someone makes a bold statement like that without citing references or what book that it’s found in. Hard knock truth. Going to church doesn’t mean anything, because even the Devil knows that there’s a God. If I had a wife and my wife wanted to have a lot of sex and I was okay with it does it make it a sin? (and vice versa). Not to the point of addiction but in the sense that the partners had a equally high sexual needs is it wrong?
As long as you’re not a JERK about it I don’t think it should be a problem unless it really RUBS them the wrong way, but, hey, if you really love someone you should be comfortable with eachother [see what I did there with the 2bit puns?!]
Also, since actions speak louder than words it can be a pretty strong signal. I had a friend once who kept on having to masturbate in bed with a guy and he just ignored her. Obviously he’s a tad dim but w/e. Just follow some basic etiquette [that I could probably write a topping blog about if I wanted to do so].
i see nothing wrong with it. you see each other naked every time you have sex, why would this be worse? it’s just foreplay.
I have a better question; what ‘is’ right or wrong in this day and age?
I’d be too uncomfortable to be doing it and just have him staring at me…. and I don’t think I’d like to watch it either, I’d rather join in.
Is it wrong? No, it should add to the excitment. People should do whatever makes them happy and or comfortable I say….
We totally do this.
According to the most extreme Puritan ideals, pleasure itself is wrong. If you are having sex as a married couple, it better be for child birth only, and you better not enjoy it. God help the man if he wakes up in the morning with an erection.
I think by this point in our culture we can forget about all the little relics of idiocracy left to us by the morons in our ancestry. Masturbate away.
I don’t know whether Masturbation is a sin or not,but “if” it’s not then I don’t see what would be wrong with doing in front of your spouse,”that is” the person you’re suppose to be sleeping with,right?
And as for the woman masturbating, it is very informational for guys to see this when they are young in their sex lives. Back when I was a devout Christian and obstaining from things like porn, I had little information to go on. It can be quite suprising to see that females work in a way completely different from what an inexperienced male expects.
As for the man masturbating. I’m not sure I’ve ever had the need when a woman was around. I get the feeling women aren’t even turned on by that type of thing. They’d rather be part of things than apart from them.
Its pretty great in my opinion to watch my partner in pleasure…normally I don’t see that! lol jk
No. It’s doing it in front of your spouse…not a friggin stranger. My boyfriend is the only person I’ve ever been comfortable enough to do those things with. And my self esteem is low as fuck. But then again I’ve been with him for almost 6 years. It would be weird if I still wasn’t that comfortable with him.
It wouldn’t hurt for people to give it a try though. It’s only awkward at first because you’re used to it being a private thing. But considering your spouse has clearly already seen all of you by now, I don’t think it’s something a person doesn’t have the ability to give a chance. Sure, I understand it might not be their thing. But exploring your bodies together and experimenting in general can help a couple connect in different ways. Even if you decide you’re not into it after trying, at least you tried.
My boyfriend does it in front of me, however I refuse to do it in front of him.
I don’t see why it should be wrong. I think it’s a way of showing each other what you like. I think as long as neither member of the couple feels seriously uncomfortable with any given sexual activity, then it’s fair game. But if you know it makes your partner uncomfortable and you continue to do it, then you aren’t respecting your partner.
What’s with the pic of the girl at the gym?
But no, it’s not wrong, pfft.
@xxx_MYLiFE - That’s just stupid. (no offense)
No, it’s not wrong. Though if the couple isn’t into it, nobody should tell them to try.
Personally, I don’t think I’d care for it.
theres nothing wrong with it at all…I dont really see how it would help a relationship but I dont think its wrong….
Nahhh. It’s a fantastic, intense experience. you just have to be comfortable with them, and with your own body.
Whatever. Who cares? So what? What if you’re both handicapped and that’s all you can do? What if you’re on the space station and you have to do it over SKYPE? What if you have a bad STD and you ran out of condoms? What if your teaching each other what feels good to you?
I don’t think so at all.
@OtakuPaige13 - uhm.. what i said? b/c i basically took what you said and expanded on it… so if what i said was stupid, so is what you said. and if you havent realized this by now, saying “no offense” means the exact opposite (you’re offending them).
This is all shock value. I come on xanga once a month and this is what I find. Ugh I don’t have the energy to delete all of my subs!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh………….
i brought it up to my husband and he didnt seem too crazy about it and we havent done it yet. I think its a good idea…. I would enjoy him pleasing himself and cuming on me… TMI?
i don’t see anything wrong with this. it could be pretty sexy i think. it could show the S.O. things that turn the other on or work better.
wrong? hell NO!
@WordsandThoughts - what she said.
@tendollar4ways - First time you’ve ever made me laugh. Usually you simply cause me to pityyou.
Personally if you start doing something sexual without including me, and I am home/in the room, you deserve a kick in the shin. Unless you specify that you get off on that kind of thing, (watching your partner), I think if you’re going to be around them, you should involve them.
I just think it’s rude not to.
@saintvi - I agree with you. It would be insulting also to not be included. I feel you.
I think the idea of it is super hot and if your actually willing to do it I think it would be a turn on for both you and your partner. Though I understand that its an uncomfortable thing to do.
Mutual masturbation is the way to go!!! Rahhhh!
@saintvi -
I feel the exact same way.
Yes! You should only masturbate in front of strangers.
We do it all the time. It helps to let the other know how you like to be touched. Sinful? Nothing about sex is sinful between two people who love each other.
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I’m too shy to do that…the man wants me to do it but I think there may be some alcohol involved
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@Rob_of_the_Sky - LOL!
You’d have to be a jack-off all trades to pull that off.
WAH, WAH, wah. *rimshot*
I think that whenever two consenting adults do to each other in the privacy of their own home is entirely their own business. Also, whether or not Bill Clinton had sex with Monica that he should have remained their own business as well.
Yep, mutual masterbation is delicious.
What’s with the pic of the girl at the gym?
Why would it be wrong or weird? you do way more to each other sexually already.
I should think (although perhaps I am merely wrong) that one would want to share something so deep and rich with one’s spouse. This is merely my imagining.
-Coral
What the hell could possibly be wrong with doing that? Pretty sexy if you ask me.
nope, nothing wrong with it at all!!
Nope. It woulddd however be wrong to do it in front of someone other than your spouse/significant other. :]
wait, why wouldn’t they play with each other? i’m confused. but i hear watching is hot. hehe
As part of sex (e.g. while kissing, or sitting on top of him,while going down on her…..) I’d say it’s a pretty natural, “normal” and typical part of sexual activity. But solo masturbating while he/she just happens to be in the room, is pretty damn odd.
why masturbate while you can have sex…
No, I don’t believe it is inherently a sin to masturbate in front of your spouse. It’s more like foreplay than anything else. If both husband and wife find it attractive and fun, it adds to their enjoyment of each other, which is what sex is partially for. If one or both of them are uncomfortable with it, there are other ways to feel sexy.
~V
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@saintvi - I think it would be more like saying “I’m really excited at the fact that you’re watching me get excited.” (if the people involved are into that sort of thing…I acknowledge that not everybody is). It could then be used as a form of foreplay, especially if both people are doing it at the same time. I think maybe thats what the sex therapist was getting at.
Now if both people are just sitting in a room not even planning on doing anything sexually, and one of them just randomly starts doing it and/or doesn’t want the other involved at all, that would be odd.