February 6, 2011
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One of The Days That Changed Me
I had two nights in my life that I would describe as the worse nights of my life. The first happened 9 years ago and the second happened 8 years ago. Both of them happened right around Valentine’s Day so this causes this time of the year to stand out.
rThe first time was when I served in what you would call a “public” position. After I had served in that position for 4 years, someone made a motion to have me removed from that position. Under the rules of the organization, if one person made a motion it had to go to a vote.
So a meeting was set up to determine if I would keep my position. There were 47 people that were allowed to vote. I told my wife that I felt 13-14 would vote against me and told her who they were. I told her the rest would vote with me.
I guessed the vote exactly. 14 people voted against me. I tend to be very intuitive. I can sense at any given moment if someone is with me or against me.
In the meeting, it was open to debate whether I would keep my position so people were allowed to speak for me or against me. The meeting lasted 2 hours. For two hours I listened to people say negative things about me. It is hard to describe what happens to you when you are standing up in front of a very large group of people and having people say negative things about you for 2 hours.
I must admit that I changed that night. I used to believe that people were fundamentally good. I no longer believe that. Yes, I won the vote. People told me I came out of that meeting so strong and that everyone stood behind me. But if you have ever had a meeting like that, you would know that you don’t recover quickly from spending two hours having people say stuff about you. Some said I showed favorites in my position. Others said I lied to them.
I never responded to one accusation that night. I didn’t say a word. Why? Because I knew I was going to have 13-14 people vote against me and I was going to win the vote. So it didn’t make sense for me to say something unwise. I was concerned a little that people might believe what people said but none of the stuff said stuck to me. It just bounced off and no one held it against me.
But the night was very painful. For a few years it really framed how I viewed people. It really made me prize loyalty in friendship. I say over and over again that loyalty is king. Now some of you will disagree. That is fine. Take all the disloyal people you want. I don’t want them around me anyway. I will keep loyal friends.
I don’t serve in a public position anymore. I will never do that again. I used to want to run for the U.S. Senate but I won’t do that. Why? I don’t want to invite people to criticize me. It is not worth it.
It is funny given how my stay on xanga has turned out. Obviously xanga is not the same as serving in a public position. But it is interesting to look over the crowd. So many people over the years have sent me private messages and claimed friendship and yet have turned around and betrayed that trust in one way or another. But on the other hand, so many others have been such loyal friends and never asked me to explain myself. Should our friends get an explanation? Probably. But I have found over and over again that real friends don’t need an explanation.
But as I look over the crowd of xanga and I read comments and get private messages, I can still pick out the 13-14 that will vote against me. I can still pick out the people who will be faithful friends.
How?
If someone can’t be faithful to any of their friends, they will never be faithful to you.
Comments (106)
I <3 Dan
I’m proud to count among my friends. I hope you feel the same way.
The truth rings out very well throughout. I may make a friend of mine read this. He needs to hear it from someone other than me.
i think you’re great dan…
my mom went through a very similar situation. it was brutal to watch and broke my heart. she eventually resigned from the stress of it.
“If someone can’t be faithful to any of their friends, they will never be faithful to you.” That is really like what I used to think about certain “church ladies” I used to know. And that was, if they never ever have anything nice to say TO me ABOUT others, chances are, they never ever have anything good to say ABOUT ME TO others either. I have never really had any other kinds of good sense about people though. Lord knows, my past marriages would be proof enough for that. I don’t think I will ever get the hang of figuring others out. I guess I just have my hands full with myself. But I am learning. And the one thing I think I have learned is that very very few people in this world think like me.
Oh yes, and I think you are a wonderful friend…….But I think you would already know that.
This is one of your best posts and you speak the truth here , I definitely know what you are talking about. It’s good to have friends who are genuinely there for you and who truly care.
@WordsandThoughts - Actually, it’s usually QUITE the other way around. Everything starts in the hearts. Thoughts become actions, actions become habits, habits become character, and character becomes your life. ALL of it starts at the heart. People might not say or do what’s in their heart to your face, but rest assured, what is in the heart will come out.
You make a very valid point, TheologiansCafe. I believe that loyalty and trust go hand in hand and friendship, or any relationship for that matter, is built on a foundation of trust. IF you cannot have that foundation then there is no friendship, so to speak. There may be an acquaintance-ship, someone you know, or someone you speak to, but there is no way to truly count someone a friend until they’ve been proven trustworthy (And, therefore, loyal). Does that sound right?
I think you did the right thing in that meeting by not responding. If those 14 people had it in their head to dislike you or be against your position, your speaking probably wouldn’t have changed their minds, and they might have been able to twist your words in their favor. I wish I had your talent to know who are loyal friends, but I doubt any intuition I might have had about people. In the past, people that I trusted have let me down, abandoned me, or said bad things about me behind my back. So now, it takes me forever to open up because I expect that people are lying to me. And thus, people who might have stood by me leave because I haven’t opened up.
Sometimes what people portray to the public and how how they feel in their hearts are two completely different things. People are human and sometimes their actions don’t reflect what is truly in their heart.
Oooh, can we make this a game? You reply to each of us and tell us how we would vote!
That must have been rough, I couldn’t imagine being in that position. More reason for me to stay out of politics for sure.
Oh, and I agree, people are not basically good. All are sinful, it is just a matter of to what degree they participate in it.
@mtngirlsouth - “if they never ever have anything nice to say
TO me ABOUT others, chances are, they never ever have anything good to
say ABOUT ME TO others either.”
So true. Never trust a gossip, especially one whose message is all negative. This is a part of my philosophy.
It must have been awful listening to those people do that. I’m sorry it happened.
You didn’t say what the second bad night was, and I won’t ask, but I’m sorry about that too.
I’m sorry, too, that you have been made to feel similarly on Xanga. I don’t know quite what to think of Xanga overall. I do know, though, that I’ve met a few people, who I already trust completely, and I know I can rely on them. I try to focus on that, and the ones who would vote against you aren’t good enough to be your friend anyway.
You have always been nice to me, and I enjoy your blogs, and I think you handle a lot of petty spiteful people with a lot of class. You shouldn’t have to put up with the garbage that gets thrown at you on here.
Great post.
I guess I’ve always felt like loyalty is illusory. I don’t mean this is a cynical way but a theoretical one.
1984 opened my eyes to this in 1982. :P
But knowing this and feeling it after 2 hours of having others use your ego for target practice is a different story.You said several months back about the cruelty on Xanga “There’s something about sitting behind a computer…”And you’re right! there really is something about anonymity that brings out the worst in people.
That and I’m convinced that 75% of Xangans suffer from a personality disorder of some kind.
I think this is the first time I have read a post that was really about you… well, at least one that you wrote. I love it. Your wisdom really shines through in this.
@VeritatisAmans - We must know and associate with different people then.
I <3 you, Dan. You are a good and loyal friend.
The point is you won the vote regardless – maybe you just need to look at things differently. Forget the disloyal – they’ re not worth the recognition.
@WordsandThoughts - I’m fairly certain we do. In a literal sense anyway. However, people are people.
Remember when people said he never blogs?
Unfortunately life is that way. I guess there is nothing which will change it. You can’t be sure with me, so I guess I’ll leave it at that.
I understand how that is, because I basically got told about how bad of a person I was for the exact same amount of time with you by someone that didn’t like me. And also how the fact that I was talked behind my back by family members. I know not to trust them or people say that. Or the time, I was banned for hanging out a certain place with friends because I was annoying when it was for the fact that someone hated me for my entire life. And the fact I’m annoying, which isn’t really a reason why. I understand how people have flaws and some people do see it, like you or me, but it’s never good to continually hear it. Yes, I got out stronger because of that abuse, but it also lowered my self esteem. It’s almost like hearing what a horrible person you are and that person being no better. I don’t trust people anymore. I don’t like them because of that.
I love hearing stories like these. it’s a good thing to see the other side to people and what theyve been through… very different considering your normal posts.
Great post Dan. I’ve always enjoyed reading your posts, and I’ve enjoyed having you around to comment on mine. You were one of those people that let me have a chance to shine on Xanga and I’ve always been grateful for that.
thats true
I wonder what the second day will be about.
It’s funny in a way. without actually reading any of the comments, I have a pretty good idea what they all say. Ironic, isn’t it, how a post like this will have throngs of people suddenly compelled to profess their own loyalty regardless of if it holds true or not. Certainly most (if not all of them) mean what they say in earnest. In the same manner, I too could call you ‘friend’ and say much the same and have it be completely heartfelt. At the same time, whether those words are shared or not, you know full well which side of the line I would fall. Good post. I can’t say as I have ever been through an experience like that though I think I understand a little of what it can do to a person. I’ve seen people come away from it stronger and I’ve seen people come away from it bitter and vengeful. Either way, they come away from it hurt. I appreciate your relative openness on the issue.
Dan your a Man again instead of just a myth and legend…
I Wish I had known you as such earlier.
my dad’s job is a pastor.. I’ve seen church members, who have received his help in the past, do this to him. you are never alone. head up.
We dig. You get to a place or have an experience where what you sort accepted before, that people are capable of great darkness, really comes home to roost. It can test your faith; in God, in people, in goodness in general. Some it tempers. Some it breaks. The really profound insight, I submit, is that one’s own self is capable of deeds of the most unsavory sort.
@Roadlesstaken - I wonder what the second day will be about.
Ditto.
I agree with loyalty being important in friendship. I think we’ve all been in the position where the people we thought were friends ended up being backstabbing. It’s a frustrating experience, and it’s hard to trust people when that happens. I remember when I first started college I had a difficult time fitting in because the people who I considered friends wouldn’t let me hang out with them when they were gong to parties and other events. It was easily the worst time I had in college. Eventually I did find loyal friends and my college experience improved significantly.
er, I mean Rob of the Sky
What a horrible night that must have been for you….regardless of the outcome, it is difficult to be barraged with negative criticism. You were right to hold your tongue – I think that’s what I would have done – wouldn’t have wanted to risk making things worse or inviting more negativity.
Loyalty is a big issue with me. I have been betrayed by several people who I fully expected to maintain their loyalty to me as I had to them. You learn a very hard lesson – people are not what they seem, and people are often not as principled as you think they should be – especially people claimng family or Christianity. It is a hard, painful reality.
I cannot stand gossip, and avoid gossipers like the plague. Working in a school, we hear things in the teacher’s lounge all the time. I am kind of the doormouse who sits there and takes it all in, but doesn’t really engage, because I don’t want to be known or thought of as a gossip, and I don’t want anything to come back and bite me. People who meanheartedly go around saying bad stuff about or to others, even if true, have no class or tact, in my opinion, let alone mercy or compassion. Shame on them.
I consider you a good friend, Dan. I have nothing but respect for you.
“But as I look over the crowd of xanga and I read comments and get private messages, I can still pick out the 13-14 that will vote against me. I can still pick out the people who will be faithful friends. ”
I like you, I respect you, and I believe it’s clear that you’re a good guy.
I don’t know, maybe it’s just me: But if issues arise, and I believe that you stand on the wrong side of them, I don’t think that all of the above would prevent me from opposing on principle. But the situation of your vote, so many years back, seemed unnecessarily petty and personal.
Its good to have loyal friends, but at work isn’t it about business? and how its getting done. I don’t know about you but even if i have friends at work if they’re work performance is way off productive and affects your work and reputation at work, that is professional. There isn’t much room for anyone at work to mess up and take the blame for other people. I always go to them first if there is something wrong, but some ppl as much as i loved their personality really mess up organization and progress at work and jepordize jobs. It may of had more to do with the way you did things as a professional than what type of friend you are. I hope this doesn’t put me on your shit list.
great post. no one knows loyalty until they’ve been betrayed. i’m with you when you say loyalty is king.
This is why so many decent folks that would be great leaders will never run for office.It’s why the majority of politicians are liars or become them when they see how the system works.There are some that have thick skins and can deal with the lies about them.You at least thought about running for an office,I just couldn’t even if I had the smarts too.If you watch long enough and look hard enough,you can spot folks on here that are fakes.Some are good at covering themselves and those are the ones that hurt when they turn on you.When I first started blogging I had no clue what it was and had no idea you could converse with people all over the world.I found it fascinating.I made friends I had never met and treated them like I knew them personally.That was something I found out the hard way,that don’t really know them.It’s been a slippery slope on Xanga,but I’ve learned a lot about people I didn’t realize.Maybe I’ll do a post on it if I stick around long enough.I will say Dan,you have much thicker skin than me.I could not do what you do on here.I woulda said bye to xanga a long time ago the way people acuse you of things,me included at times.
I love this post, I absolutely love this post. And myself I am a very sensitive person. Not too sure I would have handled what you went through so well. Or at least I would have bawled my eyes out. I hope to become your friend. Nobody ever talks to me on here anymore, and I post all the time. Really for myself. Because I need to write out things. How ever did you find me?
YES.
That’s what I say about people when they gossip about their so-called friends or anything else they do to people they call friends; if they do it to them then they’ll do it to you.
@Roadlesstaken - make sure you rec it like you did w/ this one so we can read it as well (:
i’m fortunate enough to have a great number of good and loyal friends
I really thought this was hard for you to do… a piece of your mind. Great post, man.
I think we all understand exactly how that feels. It seems to me that through Xanga, a lot of us have this kind of struggle. We are learning the major effect of what being loyal means.
I know I went through hell for years. It isn’t up until this year that I have finally GIVEN up on looking for loyal friends. I have learned to let people be and only select those who WANTS to be my friend. Because now that I have family of my own, those three children are taking up a lot from me. I don’t need problems from other people that will weight in on me and make things worse at home.I am better off just focusing on my family and those who remain a friend that never questioned or betrayed me. It is only sad that sometimes it takes forever for one to learn people are not all that great. Only certain persons can be that good.
Sometimes criticism is the best thing for you. Even from a friend.
Sorry that you had to endure that but I know it made you stronger,I know this because I went through a similar situation in church among “so called friends”. You are right about friends, how they treat others is how they will treat you.
I love you.
you’ve proven decent my ways- especially when you gained little profit from it. Busy as you are, you’ve helped when asked. You do occasionally visit AND, wow of wows, comment on what grabs your attention. (No, today I’m NOT asking for a cheap courtesy visit.) Best of all, what you say, well, it works.
That’s a good way to judge people.
You remind me a lot of one of my bosses. Which is a good thing – I regularly sit in his office and we just talk. I agree on the loyalty thing whole heartedly. I think people speak far too often without thinking about the impact their words will have.
don’t read you much, but this really hits home. i have something of this nature coming up this week. a much smaller group yet the accusations will no doubt come up. i never put much weight behind friendships myself. ultimately, people appear to be looking out for number one.
I value loyalty, honor and truth among my friends and I give back the same. A long time ago, I had to learn the hard way about who is worthy enough to be my friend. It’s not a road I will ever go down again. It was a lesson well learned and remembered. Probably why I only have 3 true friends I would trust with my life…. But it’s my choice.
Dan, this was really beautiful.
Very interesting. Even though it is very difficult to take criticism, in the end it makes us better people if we are open-minded and learn from it. No one wants to hear negative things about himself/herself, but if we are immune to the negative we can never grow. I’m glad that your experience changed you, but I hope you can continue to put yourself in uncomfortable situations from time to time so change and better yourself even more.
I don’t know how you deal with all the comments you get on here. I read blogs that are directed JUST at you. I have absolutely zero interest in becoming a “top blogger” and that’s why. Which is why I really don’t write much on here. When I do, it’s just about day to day stuff. I think you take critisim well. Like I said, I wouldn’t be able to handle all the hate comments you get.
I am big on loyalty myself. In fact, I would say that I prefer loyalty to honesty in a friend. And, re: the meeting, having spent quite a few years in both elected and volunteer public and “private” positions, I’ll say this: I’m sure it was painful having people say negative things about you during the meeting. (I don’t participate in bashfests like that because I think they’re awful.) On the other hand, it’s not any better when people talk about you relentlessly behind your back. That sucks too. I think it’s a toss up which is worse. Any time you put yourself out there, any time you get a lot of attention from a lot of people, you invite negative comments about yourself. My husband works for a man who is something of a local celebrity. Sometimes his notoriety is nationwide. We’ve turned on the TV to hear Larry King bash him. It’s not fun.
Dam,
Dan for years you have been here on Xanga, and you are a ” friend ” to me on facebook as well.
It is only for oursleves to judge ourselves. I don’t go much on what others think these days.
It has been said that when we die we get the final judgement- I don’t think thats true. We are judged so much while we are alive by others- I know it has caused our society to act Crazy..
Dont you think so ?
My best,
Diane
I serve in a public position now. I don’t really Xanga anymore to often. I get your subscription e-mails alot though and this one kind of hit home. Again, I am a public servant, very recently was I given this task. About a year ago. I find myself having to change the way I cant and behave publically and privately. It’s infiltrating every part of me life. Everything I do/am about to do I have to ask, “would the tax-payers be upset or not?”
Do I miss that freedom to act out? Yes. Do I dislike the public’s eye on me, watching me, critiquing me? Yes. However getting to genuinely help people who have been wronged makes it all worthwhile
This brought back memories for me. I entrusted my deepest thoughts and feelings to so called friends and was betrayed. It takes a while to recover from this. But it does make us a stronger person.
I had a few friends in my life—-only one was with me until the day he died and he always, always supported me and tried to help. When I used credit cards stupidly and was poor because of that for four long years of debt reduction, he took me out to restaurants and picked up the tab while being very loving and encouraging and not judgmental or condemning due to my failure with finances.
I have no real friends now, but I am content. I had one great friend for 25 years.
I am sorry you had to experience such public criticism.
frank
‘People who mind, don’t matter.
People who matter, don’t mind’
im sorry. it was a really bad night.
This was an exceptional post, in a way answering to your recent critics who meanly call you vapid and off your game.
There is no “game.” This is life we are all living, and experiences like yours can define us. Sometimes for better, and sometimes for worse. I think it is tragic that it led you to abandon your dream of running for the Senate. But life defining moments like those you describe can have powerful effects.
It is reminiscent of my divorce trial; specifically my husband’s attempt to win full custody of our child. For four full days of questioning I sat at the stand, a sign behind me saying “In God We Trust,” listening to and answering to the most abhorrant things about me. Some were lies, some were stretches of truth, all were cherry picked –out of twenty years during which I shared everything about myself with the person I had once loved more than anyone in the world — to put me in the worst possible light as a person and a mother. Several times I had to excuse myself to cry in the ladies room. It clearly did not help my case. I was weak and helpless against my husband’s attorney and my husband, who had clearly become the “enemy.”
The strange thing is, unlike you, I do not have the wisdom, the intuition, and the strength to walk away when I see an enemy. Instead, I have had selective amnesia, choosing to believe the best in people still exists and to forgive them for their past offenses. I admire you for your ability to put on your armor and keep it on. -A
Amen
Dan, you’re one of my closest friends here. I always value your advice and wisdom, and this post was amazing. It’s all so true. I hope you consider me a loyal friend. I have asked you for an explanation once or twice but that doesn’t mean I stopped trusting you.
I think I agree with you on this one.
This was refreshing coming for you
I like it when you post real stuff.
ik thats why its kind of a blessing in disguise that i have work haha i just told them to save me a slice of whole wheat pizza and ill be good : ) haha
I love my friends.
Hello my old friend,Dan
Thanks for stopping by,hope things are going well for you and your family~p.sGreat post indeed,always enjoy to read your blog,hehe,please keep your good work up!!
That must of been a very difficult 2 hours. We’ve had some experience since we have raised many foster kids. Years ago biological parents to the foster kids we had prior had leveled allegations against us. We were put through an extensive investigation. That changed us. We, like you choose not to answer any of the negative comments. It would of made us look guilty. We were completely cleared but it was a difficult process.
i don’t disagree. loyalty is very important, regardless of who the relationship is with. everyone needs to know if that person will still be there when it really comes down to it. anyway, i think i can understand that 2 hours of criticism. i’ve been criticized by even my closest friends, and then walked out on. i like to think that the experience has changed me for the better, but it is not a pleasant feeling and can really shard an individual if they don’t have the tools to deal with it. i hope you make the best of it. your last sentence was a little confusing; i decided that it correlates to how you view people now.
I’ve had people say negative things about me for years, here on Xanga. But I feel your pain.
I once hear something about a ratio of compliments to insults. Apparently, there are a certain number of compliments that it takes to make up for one insult. I’m sure it wasn’t incredibly scientific, because how can you really objectively measure someone’s feelings of confidence and self-worth and come up with a scale of comparison across people. Anyhow, I remember that the ratio was high. 7 compliments to 1 insult? 10? 17? Either way, that must have been incredibly hard and I admire your ability to refrain from addressing their issues. My head might have spontaneously combusted if forced into that kind of restraint!
good post. sorry you had to endure that
at least you have the intuition to know when people don’t like you. it hurts just as much every time when you find out someone doesn’t like you and you thought they did.
when it comes to people close to me, i am FIERCELY loyal. almost to a fault, though, even if i am deeply hurt by someone, i will remain on their defense to others. I’ve realized i just can’t expect that kind of loyalty from everyone in return, but from my closest friends, most of them are the same way. I am very aware of my own faults, so to hear someone talk about them for that long in front of a huge crowd would probably break me.
all that being said, i’m not gonna say i would always be loyal to YOU… haha, i mean to be fair i dunno you except your usual quick posts. you’re just a distant xanga person. but i’d like to think i gots everyone’s back so long as they got mine.
PS i also always hate february, i tend to have severe panic attacks around this time of year. usually when the worst stuff happens.
Why would you run from criticism? sounds alot like giving in to me. Sadly, I conlude that you could care less. This is the way our world is now a days. We run from the harsh realities.
This was a wonderful post, Dan. It’s probably the best entry that I’ve read on your page thus far.
It takes a lot to recollect memories from a difficult time in our past, it takes even more courage to relive them by writing about them knowing you’d have many eyes reading over those same moments and making their own judgments about you in the process.
I have been through a bit, but I still believe that people are inherently good, it is sometimes our skewed perceptions of them, or their skewed perception of us that often make things seem differently.
I’m certainly not a Bible thumper, yet I do recall a piece of very solid advice from that weighty collection: – “be as mild as lambs, yet as crafty as serpents.” I take this to mean that we must have an open heart in order to go through this life without the corroding sterility of never having loved, trusted or risked, yet we must simultaneously be aware that people can be vicious, to the point that they will attack apparent gentleness for the petty sport of it, or simply ignorant, causing destruction without being aware that they are doing it.
I to have had my share of this, often, and severley. I’m not talking about Xanga’s petty squabbles, and I guess you aren’t either. I’m talking real things, where you sit in a dark room at three in the morning, unable to sleep, contemplating a bottle of pills and wondering if there’s any reason to go on.
I think this would be a good time to thank you again for your invaluable help last June, and to remind you of that which I think you know already. Any time I’ve made a jest of you, it’s nothing more than that: a jest from a man with not too much in the way of brains.
Keep on trucking Dan.
I’m in the middle or something sort of like that. It’s supposedly not about me personally, but about the pay related to my position. I’ve been trying to put on a brave face, but it’s been really hard to look those people in the eye. The quote from You’ve Got Mail comes to mind: “I’m so sick of people saying that. All that means is it’s not personal to you. But it’s personal to me.”
You’re so right. I learned the hard way that if someone gossips TO me about others, they are surely gossipping ABOUT me to others. I no longer am friends with anyone who gossips. And of course I learned the hard way to not be a gossip myself.
While I’ve never been in that exact position, I have had people gossip about me, and I’ve lost friends who I considered dear because of it. I’ve since learned to choose my friends carefully, and that just because someone’s nice to my face doesn’t mean they actually think of me as a friend. It’s often quite the opposite.
As a less than typical pastor’s wife~ I too, had my day in the critical spotlight. You are right~ it does something to you. Left me shaking in my boots there for awhile.
Thank you~
Very true.
And to give you a little “boost,” Dan, my attitude has really changed about you over the years. You’re a pretty decent guy.
I really prize loyalty in my friends. That’s all that counts.
I hate being in positions in power because then you have to force yourself to draw the line.
I am neither a friend nor a foe. I just saw the title of your post and came by to read it. I have been in a similar situation, though that was due to prejudice, of having the wrong color, the wrong religion, the wrong gender! I never trust people so much that consider them loyal or disloyal.
I liked reading this. Thank you for sharing. Helps, doesn’t it?
Dan the man.
<3
I dont think you’re a bad person.
I always say that people are their actions, not their words. (In this case, their action was words…)
I think you’ve inspired a post for me.
I’m so very sorry to hear that. This reminds me of my dad, he once had a high position in his job when I was younger, it required a lot of responsibilities and he suffered through some rough times like this one. I’m sorry this happened to you. I really to look forward to your posts each day – whenever I come to xanga I always ask, “What’s Dan writing about now?”
I dont think that everyone is a dishonest person, or disloyal, but yes, some are more accepting and embracing of peoples personality flaws then others, regardless if they will get anything from it. But some are just rude to be rude. Here’s a good quote for this situation, ‘Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.’, – Dr. Seuss
You did the right thing Dan. I like to believe there is good in people, but there’s also bad sides of us. Some people choose to change, others refuse. Don’t change because of those 13/14 people, change only to become a stronger person.
wow… i gotta watch my back..
I’ve never read this side of you before, but I enjoyed it!
Beautiful post. Thank you
although it wasn’t a happy topic, i enjoyed reading this and gaining some insight.
i feel similarly – loyalty first. without it, nothing else counts.
This was really great and I completely agree. I never trust someone who always talks bad about their “friends”.
Haters gunna hate. Can’t let that hold you down. But then I suppose you also possess the one thing others do not, acute insight into your own self and how yours and others’ lives would be better served. Taking criticism isn’t easy, especially when you have an in-real-life troll who has become so good at hating you just can’t tell they’re a troll. The noise to signal ratio might have been just too high.
Hi there,
I enjoyed reading your post. I want to believe that people are fundamentally good, but more often the opposite has proven to be true. Kudos to you for walking out of that room as a stronger person. The last thing that anyone really wants to hear is 2 straight hours of their negative attributes.
“Loyalty is king.” I absolutely agree with you on that one.
goooo dan!
well said.
Dan, I’m sorry that this happened to you. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been. You’re a very strong person for making it through something like that and for staying so positive.
i think you’re awesome.
Your friends don’t need an explanation, for they would never believe an accusation against you. Your enemies don’t deserve an explanation, for they won’t believe what you say, anyway. Don’t let the bastards wear you down.
Very open entry, no doubt difficult to write. I may address this same issue on my own blog since I believe everyone has faced this situation at least once…everyone who stands up for an issue, or simply rubs someone the wrong way, or drives a nicer car, or gets promoted in a job whatever. Good post sir, well said..
I like this post way more than some of the others you’ve thrown out there lately. I’d ask what you think of me but you really don’t have much to go on, and likely don’t know who I am right now. Thank you for sharing that, I’ve been discovering that loyalty and honor are so rare that I can’d even find them in another human at the moment. I feel the world icing over, I feel the walls being built, and I feel myself out in the cold. Perhaps I am meant to be a loner.