February 13, 2011
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Keys to Being A Better Woman
It appears to me that some ladies on xanga could use a little advice on how to be better women. I read your posts and updates and have even read status updates on Facebook.
So I want to help out so that you become more pleasant and appealing women.
1. Don’t complain about your pms.
There is no reason to complain about pms. We know you have it so you don’t need to bring it up. We don’t need all the whining. You also need to cut the bad moods that come with it.
2. Don’t complain about pregnancy.
Several of you are pregnant right now. All we hear is about how painful pregnancy is. We don’t need to hear it. I get the feeling that most of the pain is exaggerated.
3. Have Supper Ready.
When a man gets home from work, he is hungry. One of he keys to a happy marriage is for a guy to come home to a meal that is ready.
4. Clean House
Guys have to do so much at work. They deserve to come home to a clean house. Just take 20-30 minutes away from your Internet time and clean the house. You have 7 and a half hours to mess around on the Internet. Just keep everything looking nice.
5. Spend less time on the Internet
I have noticed that 66-70% of xanga are ladies. This is because men are busy working and getting ahead in life. Try to find something constructive like picking up his dry cleaning. It is also nice if he can come home to a nice tall glass of his favorite drink.
6. Keep your Weight Down
Now I know this is a sensitive issue but we need you to keep your weight down so we stay attracted to you. There is nothing worse that seeing a woman go fat. So get some exercise in and stay pretty.
Comments (173)
Makes me wonder what “advice” you have for men. lol
I’m not complaining that 66-70% of Xangans are women.
What!! your last three posts were so far on the helpful side, you had to do this to balance it out?
Luckily for you I don’t take you seriously. Although I would note I probably work more hours than you do, so YOU clean MY house.
Is it possible to be a troll on your own blog?
Wow! Get ready for more hate.
i hope to god this is complete sarcasm. otherwise you can shoveee itttt.
i’ll complain about the pains of pregnancy as much as i want. because the shit hurts, more than you know.
I do all the things I love and I love myself for doing them!
Believe in living dangerous, don’t you Dan.
Amen , preach it brotha preach it
I won’t rec or get on this band-wagon for sure because I wanna have sex sometime before the end of the next decade/for the rest of my life!
#6 makes me wanna give you the middle finger and back hand.
Fantastic advice!
I actually agree with pretty much everything you’ve said. Not the best way to say it though…. =D
I’m ready for the advice for men
@Sunrise_Hope_Joy - Well said!
@ShamrockLover - LOL thanks. It’s totally true, really men are so lazy …
Oh, Dan. No one can tell that you are just trying to get a rise out of your female readers. If this was your true opinion, you probably wouldn’t be married anymore.
How to be a better man:
1. Quit acting like you have PMS, and maybe we won’t bitch about it. I’d much rather have pms than act like it for no reason.
2. We need support during pregnancy, so stop acting like everything is “over exaggerated”. You try going through that shit for nine months. And the horror doesn’t stop after birth. When the baby wakes up in the middle of the night, why don’t we take turns waking up instead of you acting like you didn’t hear the baby SCREAMING?
3. How about actually getting home on time if you want supper ready for you? Oh boo hoo, you worked all day. Well, so did I. And I have way more jobs than you do. And when you say you’re gonna be home at 6:30 but are running late, fucking tell me! I can’t snap my fingers and have dinner ready.
4. Clean house? Why don’t you fucking clean up after yourself? How hard is it to refill toilet paper when you’ve used the last of it. Or how about washing your own damn dish after eating off of it? Do I really look like a slave? Mommy may have picked up after you, but I’m not your Mommy. I have no problem picking up a bit, cleaning windows, vacuuming and the works while you’re at your job, but if you can’t pick up after yourself then fuck that.
5. You act like being a homemaker some easy gravy job. Please. Try it for a week or so. Especially when your man is a slob.
6. Why don’t you keep your weight down? Or when we keep our weight down, why not say “Damn baby you look good” once in a while? Is it really that hard?
This post was uncalled for.
@Sunrise_Hope_Joy - My hubby isn’t lazy outside of the home, but he struggles with doing any chores. I think i enable him though because i’m now a stay at home mom and feel responsible for all household duties. But sometimes i could use a little help around the house! But i do think that women work just as hard as men….whether it’s outside the home, or at home with the kids. I’d love to see Dan clean your house…haha
This sounds more like all the ways to be a better MAN.
I was anticipating something like this… made me laugh anyway. xD
EDIT: Looking over some of the comments… WOW. Some women don’t have a sense of humor.
@plastic_army_men - I love the male side of this!! I hope you don’t mind if i subscribe to you…i think we could be friends
LOL
@ctaretz - haha nice. I read an article from a sex therapist talking about “choreplay” and how women actually get turned on when their man does chores!
@xxSHhHxxBExxQUiETxx - some of us have antonymous sense of humor, not no sense of humor at all.
@ShamrockLover - My comment was tongue-in-cheek, which is pretty much what I think this blog calls for LOL. But sure he could clean my house, or any other man who works less hours than I do, which is most of them.
Thanks. 
I AGREE!!
Fucking lol’d.
@ShamrockLover - lol I’m glad you got my post. but really, come on, you can’t say that shit isn’t true haha
Hmm, another piece to intentionally rile people’s anger-related emotions. Whodathunkit?
Honestly I can’t stand lazy people and and I can’t stand excuses. The only reason I have so much time to read this garbage is because I work efficiently and quite possibly might me a mad scientist.
I know this is a joke but I don’t hesitate to say it didn’t make me LOL. The “re-enforcing male/female stereotypes joke.” *Yawn*
two words: “Job” and “Blow”
I do not detect any sarcasm in this post at all.
@plastic_army_men - Well in that case I’ll be “choreplaying” my butt off…lol
You forgot the part about doing all that cooking and cleaning in a dress (with a pink gingham apron to keep it from getting dirty), high heels and a tasteful strand of pearls. That woman in the photo is a disgrace, lounging around in her pjs all day. What man wants to come home to that?
I smell sarcasm… chauvinistic much? XD
Hey! Don’t knock the percentage of girls on Xanga! I met my girlfriend on Xanga!
Completely agree. Quit being lazy, bitches!
@plastic_army_men - “This post was uncalled for. ” Ahahaha, come around Dan’s xanga often? You sound surprised. XP
@saintvi - In -my- defense… not all of us are hungry the moment we walk in the door. Sometimes ya gotta work up an appetite. XD
Lol. Was posting this so close to Valentine’s Day a good idea?
GODDAMN FATTIES!
I realize you’re doing this to garner a reaction, so good for you. Way to go after the most obvious buttons to press. [slow clap]
Wow, this is so offensive. Are you the perfect husband with a hot body? Yea… didn’t think so.
@plastic_army_men - lol!! nice
not getting fat is such a double standard… Sigh this the stereotype for a woman like 20-30 years ago…Sorry but most of us are modern woman..
@Babieboo_Annie - LOL!
@godfatherofgreenbay - You know who else liked Job Blows? Hitler!
@Rob_of_the_Sky - actually I’m a gold digger so I want my woman to work so I can support my cocaine habit.
#’s 3-6 apply across the board, both genders. I have been the cook in my house for the past seven years, and my weight shows it.
Dude, you forgot so many important things!
7. Don’t talk during the game unless you are agreeing with how awful the ref’s call was.
7a. No man should ever have to get his own beer while the game is on.
8. Sandwich making is an important life skill. Learn it.
9. Blowjobs are like flowers for men.
It never fails though; men always end up putting the garbage away.
Man you forgot bout getting just-enough chummy with his Pals too~!~!
@plastic_army_men - Agreed 100%.
This post actually made me lose respect for Dan. He might want to get his head out of his ass asap.
Jotting this down on a post-it so I can stick it to my bathroom mirror. Thanks, big guy!
So observing Steak & Blowjob Day isn’t good enough?
I’m not touching this one with a ten foot pole. I’m just gonna sit back and watch the shitstorm unfold…
At thisi age I am as good as I am gonna get, and I am pretty damn good:):)
this is legit…as long as he is working his butt off to bring in the money. domestic skills and good sex aren’t the only things that make a marriage float.
when you can get pregnant and give birth out of your penis, then you have the right to make a statement about women not complaining about prenancy , and since we have to stay prettty…..you can not go bald
Completely disagree with #6. If a woman needs to be slim and attractive for you to love her, I feel sorry for you.
harsh truths… i like.
That about covers the high points of how to make a man happy… except for
@plastic_army_men - Thank you, my dear. Well done. Perfect.
I’m going to assume that you, Dan, are kidding and just trying to get a rise out of the 70% of us that are female BUT just have to say that this is why more and more women are choosing to have babies without husbands and marriage is becoming obsolete! Who needs it?
lol, I really hope this is satire. But ’tis funny
Great advice! Thanks 4 share….
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I guess you haven’t been blessed as wonderfully as I thought. Perhaps you just don’t treat your ladies right! None of my wives, concubines, slave-girls and other ladies around my house exhibit the deficiencies you’re harping about.
All the women who didn’t see this as a joke or took it too literally; GB TO KITCHEN AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH!!!!
I actually agree with pretty much everything you’ve said
@xxSHhHxxBExxQUiETxx - I know this may come as a shock to you, but not everybody has the mentiality of a 12 year old. “stop not liking what i like!!!!”
On the other hand, I ain’t even mad, but this just isn’t that funny. If
it was aimed at males I would say the same thing, but it’s okay, I guess
you need the attention as some kind of validation for yourself. Why am I
even giving you what you want?
So Dan…. How hard are you laughing now???
You would fucking know, you chauvinist prick.
@Sunrise_Hope_Joy - lol nice one
@plastic_army_men - Hahahahaha YES.
I think he’s trying for more hate from women and to see how many people unsub before he leaves Xanga when he becomes old later this year.
Lmao. must be one of those ‘How many people can i p’off today?’ moods. Lol.you forgot the part where being on their knees is the key to world peace.
@nurseynursey - Ha! Yes! Being forced into single motherhood years ago, I used to bemoan the fact that I didn’t have a husband anymore. Now, years later, I agree…who needs all the whining?
lol lol lol
spend less time on the golf course
take out the trash before I have to do it
you don’t need 3 pairs of golf shoes
you’re absolutely terrible! I know you’re joking, but it’s not funny to me. It just increases stereotypes.
Think of all the sexual frustration from 5 because of no internet porn.
Haha this is so funny. Why are people getting upset?
You are a horrible person, Dan. XD I love it.
@plastic_army_men - As a man, I have to agree with #6. I see so many guys get fatter while their wives remain in shape.
ironically, it sounds like you’re complaining, even though your post is basically telling women to quit complaining.
lol
@ctaretz - LMAO
Keep em’ barefoot and pregnant.
1. We won’t complain about PMS if you won’t call us from another room because you are laying on the couch too sick to reach the remote on the coffee table. 2. We won’t complain about puking daily for three months and expelling an eight pound object from our bodies if you won’t scream in agony over passing a kidney stone the size of a grain of sand or demanding we take you to the emergency room to get that splinter removed. 3. We will leave our full time job, pick the kids up at day care, stop at the market, rush home, toss in a load of laundry, get the kids started on their homework and prepare your gourmet meal in the 12 minutes we have before you come in all worn out from you meetings and power lunches if you promise to pick up your own beer bottles so the toddler doesn’t finish them off. 4. We will keep your house immaculate at all times if you promise to come into the bathroom where we are scrubbing your pee off the toilet to let us know we must immediately stop and clean the mud off the carpet that you just drug in. 5. We will promise to spend less time on the internet if you promise to use it to keep updated on your own family and delete your own porn so the kids stop finding it. 6. We promise we will maintain our weight at what it was in high school and promise never to tell anyone you’ve gone from a size 34 pants to a size 43 to accomodate what you jokingly refer to as your “liquid grain storage vat”. LMAO Dan you are such a trouble-maker.
LOL I love this. Everything makes sense and my husband sitting beside me right now is agreeing to everything you’ve said in this entry.
@Murphy_Rants - Pretty much.
i really hope your post is just joking and you do no mean it.
grab your pitchforks and torches ladies!!!
Attempt at humor fail.
I know this is most likely a joke but it still raises the hackles of my FemiNAZI half.
… But the other half, which is a stay-at-home mum, agrees (with most of it). Go figure.
@plastic_army_men
@TheEmeraldPixie
have good points too, though
sexist pig
@ctaretz - LMAO great answer.
This post seems a little old fashioned to me.
I sort of agree with you on #1, but sometimes pms just throws the whole body out of wack emotionally. I know it’s not a very good excuse and really shouldn’t be used as one… so I sort of have to agree with you there. I definitely agree with your last one.
But some of the others… if the woman is a housewife/mother then maybe… but it seems to me a lot of moms or wives are working outside of the home too these days. Cut her some slack? My parents had this rule: whomever came from work first made dinner, the other cleaned up.
dan, you need to be replaced!
we need fresh blood, like WordsandThoughts
HAHAHAH ahhh, gotta hand it to you.
Those who are taking the post seriously need to just chill down.
You just summed up the contents of many of the posts on lovelyish, datingish and healthkicker in one post. All the while using us ladies’ words for some of them.
@ctaretz - Ahahahaha wise decision
Ahahahaha… Love it.
I’m doing a response post to this. I think you’ll get a kick out of it. ^_^
~V
My wife doesn’t have to do anything. She has always been great in the one room in the house that counts.
you’re playing with fire, dude.
3, 4, and 5 are SO not happening for me. But I might consider 1, 2, and 6 – with, of course, some great incentives from my man
I agree with most of this, but the thing is that being a mom and cleaning, unless the kid is entertained for a LONG time you wont have much time to clean. :/
@plastic_army_men - Hahaha, this is great! Way to say what is on the minds of most LADIES after reading this. Whatever this was…a little satire, or an actual slam at women, it was definitely uncalled for. Reading what you wrote up there, as well as some of the comments from the boys, it really seems as if this is how you actually perceive us woman. Wow, you all definitely do not know anything. You boys would not be able to survive a day in our shoes.
Feeling like dancing on the razor’s edge, are we?
Agreed on all points!
You can tell who aren’t regular readers and who just happened across your blog for the first time from the comments.
Gosh I hope this is satirical.
Have the meal ready and clean the house cuz we don’t have full time jobs too? I’m really hoping that this was a lame attempt at humor. =P
I am dying of laughter right now XD
Honestly though, some of your points are agreeable. People don’t need to hear complaints about PMS or pregnancy 24/7 and usually the people online 24/7 are female. HMMM…
I’m not sure if this is satirical or serious but either way this is wrong.
@chookiewookie - I know this may come as a shock to you, but you’re a doodie head. ;D Obviously, I don’t care about your opinion.
Honestly, I wish I could tell #6 to some women and men where I work. It’s pretty sad when you come in, and not only do you need a table because a booth is too small, but when the chair you’re sitting on is WAY too small as well.
@carolinavenger - Thats pretty much what I said lmao. Douche-Baggery is always fun to watch lol.
@xxSHhHxxBExxQUiETxx - Doodie Head!!!! Ahahahaahaha, this actually made me LOL.
@ANVRSADDAY - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… i wish this was like facebook with the little like button at the bottom!!!! Awesome comment!
fuck off.
Satire if done properly, gets at least SOME laughs from the group the finger is pointed at. Fawlty Towers for example always has sexism, the difference is; it’s done right.
But hey, at least I got it, unlike most women here.
Well women have jobs too so yeah….and I don’t think that the pain of pregnancy is always exaggerated. Sometimes complaining isn’t about pms. Though I do try to keep our place clean (to the best of my ability) and I don’t require my man to cook.
Trying to start an xagan war? -lol
@HoldOnFor1MoreDay - lol–glad you enjoyed it. I did not marry my because she could cook–in the kitchen. She is amazing.
I love it when my mans says~ Woman, gets me my supper. Makes me swoon. Then we giggle and pretend he wasn’t serious. Otherwise, I’d be married to a headless husband.
wait a minute, this is plagiarism. right out of the 1950`s book on how to be a good housewife. the good old dayz:/
um all of this applies to men too!
Were you lacking pageviews or something? ^_-
1. Men need to lose their belly fat, have an athletic body, have a full head of hair, lose their beards/moustaches, grow a heart, and a listening ear.
2. Men need to learn how to cook in case his girlfriend/wife cannot cook, for whatever reason.
3. Men need to clean the house or else he will be thrown out.
4. Men need to hold a secure well paying job instead of solely relying on his girlfriend/wife or parents for support.
5. Men need to appreciate and respect women.
6. Men need to be strong, masculine but also sensitive as well.
7. Men need to act as human beings.
wow haha fuck you
Did you seriously troll your own shit…? o_O
win
Pretty sure this is sarcasm. Well, I hope so. It isn’t as easily identifiable online.
double standard: do not want.
especially with 6. we don’t want fat men either.
and it’s not like women can control what kind of mood they’re in.
Wow, some of the comments! LOL!
@HoldOnFor1MoreDay - Well, she DID say I had the mentality of a 12-year-old… Glad it made you laugh? ;P
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Dan….I hate to tell you this but those who haven’t gotten laid in years have been aware of this for quite sometime…and since I am going to be celibate and childless for the rest of my earthly life….I am free to add on more to the list… and it is this …7. Quit bitching about having to go to work…your not the first generation of American women that worked for a living…and the fact is you got what you asked for and put your Revisionistic History read some real history or go out what beyond what you normally experience and go out and talk to someone that is your heritage and not in your economic class (which you to shut off your television and put your drugs and stop gossiping about others) and you might that have worked all over the world since the beginning of time and so have children (the word “teenager” is a twentieth century invention. And somehow it managed not kill and in most cases prolonged their lives and in most cases before the advent of an evil thing called a credit credit did a pretty good job of mananging their home economics witht hteir help of their husband. Once upon time in this country’s history there was a class in school called “Home Economic” if you might actually spend sometime physically talking to your grandparents or some other distant relative of yours…it is called genealogy…they might be able to tell you about these times because most history books do not. And your search might require travel to foreign that our more materialistic society now despise like Northern Europe…you might be forced to swallow your pride and your American education but you can do it …I have on very small amounts and most of my European socialist distant me up for fre and were very happy and could not understand why much richer relatives male and female. And if your husband is making over $100,000 quit working to support your unneccessary luxuries and quit your job and let some woman that actually needs to it to keeep a roof over head.and quit complaining on reality television about how tough your life is because quite frankly it is not and “reality” television is the phoniness dumbest form of entertainment ever invented. If want reality we will take a web cam to a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter or a home up in Bangor, Maine for battered women that are really living tough physical and economic and we will broadcast with their permission if we can get it and broadcast over the Internet so that we can show what reality is. I have worked next to many a wealthy woman who did not need their jobs and quite got hearing them sing “The Rich Woman Blues” and for mattter “The Rich Male Blues. A number of years ago…to the point that I have learned not to listening to you when you starting like you do on shows like “The View” on a daily basis. If males had a show like that boy would they be castrated. There would be more than Matthew Shepard in this country ( or that student from Rutgers that just committed suicide in this country). So call us whatever name you want for sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me so quit your job if you can or don’t bother getting one if you don’t have and take it easy and enjoy your life spend your time here on earth doing something useful because your half is quite tired. The truth hurts and is painful but I can say because the reality of my life is that you can’t sex or what a people is love but is really lust agianst me since I am celibate biologically. Sorry about the length but this topic gets to me.
#3 and #4 only make sense if Hubby is working and Wifey isn’t.
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I can’t even begin to tell you how much i agree with #2.
Dude! Did you switch from Ladies Home Journal to McCall’s magazine from the 50′s? You need to build yourself a bomb shelter now!
Asswipe.
@ctaretz - *like*
@xMyObsessionx - Unless you are blind, I’m OBVIOUSLY a woman. Look how cute you are, telling me to stfu. Women like you, who attack strangers for no reason because YOU don’t know how to laugh at yourself, make me ashamed of my gender. I LAUGH AT YOU.
@xxSHhHxxBExxQUiETxx - Oh i laugh at myself. Like right now. Look how immature i look for saying that! I dont actually think you are a man. But the fact is, i dont think this shit is funny because i deal with it everyday from male coworkers. its old. women jokes are old. Yes, they are funny because at one point in a womans life they are going to do one or all of those things. I’ve done it. but it doesnt mean i should be the butt of a joke. All the effing time.
So sorry i said you had a penis cuz you dont. well, i hope not.
I find it so pathetic how certain girls here are flipping out. We’re all women, and it doesnt make SOMEONE a bigger person by implying someone else has a penis. Seriously, it was a funny post, get over it, stop bitching.And you know what, some girls seriously do not have a sense of humor here. There you go, i said it too, bring out the stakes and pitchforks why dont you.
go make me a sandwich
@bk_1234 - I said sorry!!!!!!!!
@xMyObsessionx - oohh ok i just saw it.
It’s good.
And btw, these jokes will always continue, but it doesnt mean you’re getting singled out. All of us women are in it together. Its an issue if it gets too personal.
@bk_1234 - I understand that. It just sucks when you cant think of a good come back. It makes work real hard. Its funny at a certain stand point. But when you work your ass off its not funny. I guess i was just in a not funny mood. Lol
@xMyObsessionx - yeahh it happens to the best of us and also the worst. I’ve been told to go get a sandwich, go to the kitchen, get my apron on, etc etc all the time.
My reply most of the time is to ignore and then a minute or two later i say “So I want lettuce, tomatoes, and light mayo in mine, and please hurry im starving… thanks, you’re a darlin.”
Are you serious or being sarcastic? I hope this is not serious because otherwise you’re being sexist
@Tallman - So females should only work if their husbands don’t make enough? Screw you wow.
I am going to guess I’m better educated than you are, and better qualified at my career, which has value as something I earned regardless of gender. I’m not an accessory. I don’t “bitch” about having to go to work. I do however think, since I work more hours than he does, it’s insane to think I should also be the maid around the house. And your sexist remarks about females only working to get luxuries suggests the purest form of bullshit. If I make a high salary because I have worked to get there, it is my right, and that is no different for me than for any male.
It doesn’t sound to me as if that was meant as humour, and if not, you are just a sexist loser and have some serious issues to work on. Or at least you need to get that the 1950s ended a hell of a long time ago and good riddance.
@plastic_army_men - Thank you so much for that. It was so unfeminist.
To that author, what century do you think we’re living in anyway?
Go back to 1955.
Sorry…I don’t fit your stereotypical woman. :]
@plastic_army_men - hell yes lmao!!!!
I will do all of these things for you when:
you have a 6 pack or above
your dick is longer than 7 inches
take me out more than once a month
talk to me when the game is on
pause the play station to finish a conversation
if you get blue balls, i don’t wanna hear about it
What if my husband complains more about my PMS than I do?
So at first you were preaching to the choir. Then after reading a few of them, I figured you must be writing this in sarcasm (mostly). No married man (and I thought I’d read in a past blog that you are???) would be happily married & publicly type that up – unless your wife is in on the joke too.
Where I disagree with you is #3 (Supper) & #6 (Weight). I only partly disagree with #4 (Clean house). If you’re referring to a housewife, then I agree 100%. She has nothing else to do with her life so she may as well get the dry cleaning & make the house immaculate. However, if you’re referring to us stay-at-home-moms (especially those with 2+ kids), you have NO clue what we have to do all day. I have two kids. One with food aversions that he’s in therapy for. So I make breakfast for 3 daily (sometimes more than 1 thing to suit everyone), then lunch for 3 (again, usually it’s more than 1 food), then get the littlest one down for nap (takes about 5-15 min of my time too, it’s not just lying her down), then there’s homeschooling, diaper changes, getting us all dressed, hair done & teeth brushed (I’m not one of those lounging in sweats/pj’s all day people). So getting the house cleaned (especially since I’m just so behind) takes a lot of time that I don’t have ’til my husband is home & he can entertain the kids (which he doesn’t always do or want to do). Not to mention, much of the time he doesn’t do a great job cleaning up after himself which creates MORE work I don’t have time for. But I definitely understand what you’re saying and the overall message I agree with.
And with the weight – yeah, have you see men’s pot bellies? Not attractive either but LOVE is more than skin deep.
With supper on the table when he gets home from work – 4pm is a bit early for dinner, thank you.
Let me say (and I’ll prepare ‘cuz there may be a backlash for this one) but you need to add to that women shouldn’t complain about their kids. I hate it when they do it. If it is only 3-4 times a year and it is warranted, fine. Understandable. However, I hate hearing women say that they could never stand to be around their kids all day long because they’d go crazy so they have to work. Then WHY did you have kids? If you didn’t know that about yourself ’til after you had a child, then WHY have more than 1?! This drives me crazy to no end. Children are so precious & I can’t stand when a child’s own mother claims they couldn’t stand to be around them all day. I don’t know about you, but as a child AND as an adult my feelings would be incredibly hurt if my mother ever felt that way (she too was a stay-at-home-mom & is an awesome mom).
And you’re right – I hate it when I hear pregnant women complain. Yes, there are aches. The nausea (I wasn’t throwing up but had horrible nausea for half my pregnancy – longer than most have it) was AWFUL and I wanted to cry sometimes… but it was SO worth it because I knew I was growing an incredible & tiny little human in my womb.
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For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
(Psalm 139: 13-14 Bible)
And as far as complaining about PMS….. gross. I do not want you or anyone else to know when I’m on my cycle as I’m sure nobody else wants to know. I HATED it when my brother’s girlfriend last month was IMing me & mentioned she was on her cycle. WHY would I want to know? I DON’T! So I’m with you 100% there.
You’re trying too hard, Dan.
Most of this goes triple for men. I know FAR more men “staying at home” being supported by a woman than I know women who fit that description, and yet I see those same women (the ones working 10-15 hours a day to support men who surf for porn all day) coming home to do everything else as well. American men are quickly becoming the most useless forms of life on earth.
I am just saying that if they chose to work and for poor women it is really not a choice. But if you don’t have to and choose too of your own volition then stop complaining about it because you got what you asked for so stop complaining about it. And like I said about the insults “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.” I am an adult who has worked practically his whole life…so I can take it especially from those who are wealthier than me. I got a thick skin.
lolol.
LOL… but some of this is actually true! I know some laaaaazy women.
Sarcasm is funny. Not everyone can speak Sarcasm though. Thankfully both my parents spoke it, a skill I am eternally grateful for. Or am I sarcastic…?
I can see how your recommendations would be helpful, and because you have been so considerate in helping us women, I would like to return the favor.
How you men can be more attractive and appealing:
1. Don’t gain weight. Having an attractive man around is a good incentive for wanting to make his life more pleasant. Nothing is worse than a fat man, so get some excercise and keep looking pretty for us.
2. Cook dinner. A woman really appreciates having a meal on the table when she gets home from the office after a long day. It’s not too much to ask that you provide a meal at night, home-cooked by you. Besides, most of the chefs are men, so that seems to mean that men should be aces in the kitchen and love doing it.
3. Don’t complain. We know that you are sicker than anyone else has ever been with your cold. We know that you are more upset than anyone has every been over the abuses of the government or the people who oppose the government. Suck it up. Your complaints are boring.
4. Spend less time on the internet. Most of the people who Yell At People Who Are Wrong On The Internet are men. You don’t listen to each other – you just yell at each other. Get over yourselves. You are not always right.
5. Clean house. You have 16 1/2 hours a day to sleep, eat, and clean the house. Take 1/2 an hour out of your internet time at least to put your dirty clothes in the hamper and your dishes in the dishwasher.
6. Dress up pretty. A woman wants to see something attractive when she comes home from work. You on the couch in your underwear doesn’t cut it.
This has been a public service announcement for you and your male readers on behalf of your female readers.
Have a good one, Dan!
I’m wondering how many of that “66-70%” are single women… because that percentage of women don’t actually have men to please so… yeah. I’d assume your next piece of advice for “how to be a better woman” would be to go find a man?
Are you purposely trying to provoke anger in your readers? You must be from the backwoods or something. A majority of women I know have careers and don’t have time to cook and clean for the man. They should be shared tasks.
Ok since you are going totally “retro” here I have 3 words for ya- Male Chauvinist Pig! LOL!
@plastic_army_men - LMAOOOOO!!! OMG You kind of made my day, and I’m having a HORRIBLE day. Thanks !
..I agree with all these, but it only works if you are doing it out of love for your husband. If you are doing it out of some sort of ulterior motive than it won’t be as satisfying.
For instance–I would try to stay in shape for my husband because I love him, and want him to be pleased (I realize illness and other unpreventable circumstances can deter this, and that in such cases the husband does not always experience a lessening of devotion, but rather an increase in devotion). I should not do this out of pride, or to attract others.
I would want to cook for him because I love him–not to seem competent and uppity in my own eyes. I would want to clean, do his laundry, not complain, etc.–because I love him. Just as I would do those things for a friend whom I love. If I do these things out of pure duty or fear or insecurity, than it will come out somehow, and it won’t be a gift–but a burden on the both of us.
Love is the key. Love your husband, sacrificially, thoroughly, respectfully (not with a slave mentality at all), and such actions will be satisfying for you both.
..And, really, this is the key to all the things you “should” do in any relationship. You should seek out time with a friend, you should help and spend time with your child–out of love, not out of duty or pride.
..And, to be honest, I have so much to learn about genuine love.
why people so angry?
@plastic_army_men - lol I wish I could “like” this. it does get annoying when guys think theyre royalty and need to be “served” a relationship takes 2 not just 1. I think people should do their share not just expect the woman to do it all.