February 20, 2011
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Death and Your Xanga Site
I think one of the greatest struggles we have yet to find a solution to is how to deal with death on social networks.
If someone dies in real life, we want closure. We want to go visit them at a funeral. We want to talk with others that are morning their loss. But we don’t get that on xanga or any other social network. I read that Facebook can set up a memorial of your site but people can’t comment on it. Here is the link: Link
But if you think about it, there is no closure. There is no way to tell everyone we are dead. This has some advantages because some people on xanga leave really nasty comments when people die. They make fun of them and their family.
I think I would still want people to be able to comment on my passing.
I would want people to be able to say, “I <3ed Dan,” “I thought Dan was dickish,” “robofthesky.”
I want a xanga memorial if I die.
Would you want a xanga memorial if you died?
Comments (67)
How old is ‘too old’ on Xanga? I think 120 is good.
Yes I want a memorial.
eh, seeing as how i’m not a huge part of xanga or “famous on here” i wouldn’t care.
i’d like that for my facebook, though.
If you didnt have any xangans on like, facebook, how would you even know a person died rather then just stopped blogging ?
This must be another trick question like, “What does twatish mean and would it make a good or great name for a Xanga “ish” site?”
Can we hold a Xanga Memorial for WordsandThoughts?
Yes.
@AlluringAddiction - I want to get Jacques Duclo to dress as a priest for it.
@ItIsAllGravy - There should also be a ‘Glee’ like rendition of a Lil Wayne song, with dancing.
Nah, I just wanna be tossed in a furnace for a few hours and kept in a jar. That’s enough for me.
Sure.
I will give you the message now that I would leave on the memorial site so you know what I would say, you cant read it when you are dead…
I met Dan on the website Xanga and we become good friends,he became one of my best friends. We had the oportunity to spend the day together and drive to Galveston,we talked the whole way there and back,it was like I always knew him. We supported one another in the good and bad times. I loved his humor and ability to identify and push buttons and rock the boat. I believe he was brilliant in communication and computer marketing.
I loved him and he knew it because I told him so in a plugz.
No. Those who matter would know what happened to me. I’m sure one of them would post on their own page to inform the rest. If not then everyone can sit and wonder whatever happened to TheGildedCage.
Nope, not that popular but there was a person who died who was a fb friend of mine that I went to school with. I did not know he died until a year after his death. Another friend died and had yet to add me as a friend on fb.
Rob of the Sky. Oh wait, you haven’t died yet.
Since we are on the topic. . . if I have a week to live I think I would have to say goodbye on all the networking sites and close them out.
Heck yeah I want a xanga memorial! I won’t feel completely dead until I get one.
Honestly, when I die I hope people just forget I existed.
I don’t want to die and I refuse to discuss it!
I don’t think this is the real world Dan
Na, but I have someone who will tell my social networks if I die unexpectedly.
I’ll be dieing next Tuesday at 10:35 am so go ahead and have mine ready to go!
Should I future timestamp my death?
No. Sooner or later, probably next 5 years, Xanga is going to go dark. offline. end-of-memorial. You want a memorial? Set up a personal fund in perpetuum, fund your own everlasting domain, and upload your archives now.
But there is a way on Xanga to tell someone your dead. Just keep setting up regularly scheduled future-timed posts to announce your death such as “If your reading this, it means that your dear Dan has died….” Just be sure to kill those posts before they are published unless something kills you first. As Maxwell Smart would say: “Ah, the old ‘if you reading this…’ trick, eh?!”
Maybe.
sometimes I wonder if people even know I am alive
I don’t want to die before Xanga!
I think it should be left to those who may be mourning the loss of me – if they wanted it.
the facebook pages of the dead really are like memorial pages. people still write on their walls and talk to them that way, like it’s a grave. It’s kind of nice imo because when you miss them you don’t have to go anywhere, you can instantly look back at pictures of them and see how you’re not alone in your grief
A friend from high school died a few months ago and a lot of us left goodbye messages on his facebook. It made me feel a little better to see some of those comments. I hope that I would get some comments in the event of my death.
But my Xanger site ain’t dead yet.
There is a growing industry in cyber estate planning. companies will keep your passwords on file and then carry out your wishes for your online accounts (post posthumous entries, shut down the sites, share sites with others, whatever you wish). seems like you could get a friend to engage in a reciprocal agreement if you dont want to pay for it.
nobody would know; they would just assume I was taking one of my many xanga hiatuses. lol. oh well…
I hope that people on facebook (those who actually know me in real life), would leave some comments and whatever there, though.
@Babyboomerjill - it’s an online world, but it’s still real people behind the computer screens. : )
i’ve never heard of a facebook memorial…..i have two friends who have died in recent years, and their facebooks are just still left active. people leave comments of “I thought about you today”, or “hope you’re doing good up there.” one of my friends even has an album of pictures of him uploaded by different people. Sure there is the disadvantage of rude people who might say stupid things, but I’ve observed more healing coming from online mourning than hurt.
that being said, i would not be opposed to an xanga memorial. : )
No. I would want people to party and say what a cunt I could be. And someone would most definitely have to piss on my grave. Only then I would feel bonafide.
Rob of the Sky
I’ve honestly thought about that… Save death (ha ha) or calamity, I will be marrying another Xangan soon… if we keep up our sites and one of us pre-deceases the other… I’m sure we would let the Xanga community know that the other had passed. I do wonder about that, though… because “virtual” or no, I feel like I know some Xangans more than I know my friends “IRL”… and that means a lot to me.
Yep. I think people should consider having a special social networking notification clause built into their will and testament.
I highly doubt i’ll die before xanga dies. Pff my site is already died.
I think there’s a buck to be made by the social networks. People could post their memorial thoughts in a protected post that would only be shown when the network had some sort of positive identification of the death of that person. None of that legal will stuff and it could be modified as desired. Flame, divulge secrets, passions, indiscretions!
Wow!
And then think of the scandals if that protected death post was ever accidentally leaked!
I think this is a great idea!
Yes.
I’d want the same number of people to comment on my passing as read my posts: 0-3.
Dear Dan,
Since I’m pretty old, I could kick it at any moment. Like you, I’m a “lifetime member” of Xanga. As long as Xanga stays online, for at least 18 years our sites will similarly stay online. We paid 100 smackers for that privilege, if memory serves. I calculated that my blog would be online until 2026 or thereabouts. In “real life” I will be seventysomething and don’t plan on dying that early. I would hope there is some kind of clause which would let me extend my lifetime subscription so that it extends past my life. I plan on looking down from my place in the Universal from time to time and would like to read my comments.
Who knows how long Facebook will be around. They could end up being the MySpace of the 20s. Or the Xanga of the teens, for all we know.
Since I haven’t been that much of an “internet presence” lately. I’ll comment on some of your recent entries. Judging by the last time I visited, I thought you’d be long gone by now. And here I am reading about “Xanga Memorials.” Make sure you let me know when you’ve died. I’ll make you a “memorial video.” My memorial posts usually put me on Top Blogs for at least a day or two.
You claim you’re out of touch because you didn’t perhaps know Justin Beiber was a singer. He’s a truly “internet famous” singer who was “discovered” on YouTube. Young people have been famous for years. Shirley Temple was famous at four years old back in the (19)30s. Of course she had a whole studio system to make sure her “public persona” didn’t make any mistakes. Today we have Twitter. Miley isn’t a bad person. She wants to grow up. At least the Disney machine didn’t paste her tits to her chest like with Annette back in the (19)60s to keep her young. She’s really pissed at her dad, and will probably break his achy breaky heart like he did hers in that GQ interview.
I usually browse Xanga at work. The speakers are off. Nobody should use an autoplay function on a website. But I’m somewhat surprised to find out that many people on Xanga can’t even make a link. Some of us know how to write code!
Tissue is always available. Like the Boy Scouts’ always say: “Be prepared.”
You have a tendency to be “dickish” on the internet. You are probably real nice in real life.
I once became an instant pariah at a party for claiming that women who dressed slutty were “asking for it” when it came to rape. I said it just to see what would happen.
I was drunk at the time.
If I had the time, I’d prove that instead of an old bald man, I’m really fooling everyone in cyberspace, and I started out as a 16 year old (now 27 but who’s counting) hottie. My tits are pretty big, but you’ll never see them, cause you’re too “dickish”.
Until next time, I remain,
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
@AlluringAddiction - I’m thinking of that too.
I don’t know if I want a Xanga memorial or not because when I die, it’s those who are alive will arrange for me. LOL. Maybe yes maybe no.
If you ever die I will make you a giant xanga memorial with lots of boobies.
Well after reading you on and off for the past 8ish years or so Dan, and the fact that I myself am gone from this this site for 6,8, 10 months or more at a time, I would still miss you around here if you died…I would notice you are gone (you are one of the first people I looked for coming back here last week:)…and having chatted with a few times in those 8 years, I don’t recall during a chat or a post you ever coming across as dickish. I think you are creative, intelligent, sarcastic, and interesting…
personally for myself, I wouldn’t want a memorium…i kinda just stick to myself as it is and as long as those i care about show up to my funeral, i will die in peace:)
Whatever.
Only if I could respond to comments from beyond the grave.
And if I die and get a comment on my memorial page that says @Rob_of_the_Sky, Rob, I will haunt the shit out of you!
Lol, RoboftheSky…
I dunno, but I’d totally comment on your memorial if you had one. Not sure if there’s anything about me worth remembering:
“PervyPenguin, he/she contributed nothing to society, had no friends, but liked drawing stuff with crayons.”
I don’t want you to die so I’ll just tell you now “I <3 Dan.”
@carolinavenger - What if someone else says it?
@Rob_of_the_Sky - it’s your username, therefore you are still on the hook.
@carolinavenger - Well, in that case I will comment with “carolinavenger”. That will mean that you haunt yourself to redeath.
I would hope so (with all my Xangan friends there as well)
I don’t think anyone on xanga would really care enough XD
But if I die while facebook is still around, I’d want someone to update my status to “is chilling with the other zombies” or something dumb like that
Yes, I think I would. I’ve invested a lot of time, thought, and relationships into this site over the years. I would at the very least like the Xangasphere to know when I die–but only if I’m still using it. If I, for whatever reason, quit using it, I’d rather it was left alone I think. There wouldn’t be much point.
~V
Should be lots of crying.
Frankly, no. It may be because I’m already on my 3rd Xanga site (darn hackers), but I tend to think my death would make people more-likely to comment negatively (avoiding prosecution, etc.). When I die, those who need know will learn offline.
wait, is it me or doesn’t it seems disturbing to hear this amount of number on just facebook?
”Some one million people on Facebook passed away last year. Based on current trends, another 50 million users are expected to die in 2015.”
I found this hilarious for some reason. No! Maybe it’s for the same reason there were only 8 people at my wedding (including my daughter and one of the kids of another couple)
I think something similar to Facebook’s policy would be useful. i.e. lock the site for all but commentating, if it’s the family’s wish. I think we’ll see more and more people putting their wishes into their wills, testaments, etc. and I also think that a “contact in the event of my passing” option should be included.
Also, I think it depends on what you mean by “memorial” – could you clarify?
when did Xanga become a social network?
If I were to die I don’t think anyone here would even know. It would be like has any seen Richard? Its been 4 months and we have not seen him around. Oh well….
I’d want everyone to have fire come out of their computer screens. FIRE!! Xanga site cremation involves FIRE…given it will completely destroy your own computer and maybe burn down your home but it would be much more cool than myself and my xanga site.
I only want to be buried with a picture of Angela Jolie’s buttcheeks clutched in my cold dead hands.
I don’t know about a memorial necessarily, but I would want someone to write a post on my site informing people of my death.
I hope my xanga and facebook disappear when I die.
I <3 Dan!!!
Actually had this happen last week on fb, where someone I knew remotely passed away unexpectedly. Very Sad…. I don’t know if there is a memorial page for her or not. I think it would be ok to have a memorial page or posting on xanga, my friends here wouldn’t make bad comments, & strangers that might…… Who Cares.
@TheGildedCage - I like your sentiment. Let the real life friends post about my passing, or not. It really will not matter when I’m gone.
@HalfaCent - I had my comment ready to post when I saw your response. It is funny you mentioned the remote friend on Facebook, as I still have a former classmate on my Friends List, who passed away last May.
Ha-ha, that’s cute. Are you serious?