September 13, 2011
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Sharing Your Feelings On Xanga
I have a basic theory. I think the longer you are on xanga, the more difficult it is to be open about yourself.
I think one of the appeals of a blog is that a person can open up. In fact, many times people will share that they can be more transparent on xanga than they can be with their real life friends.
But I think that once people get to know people on xanga, that they begin to do what they do in real life. They start to concern themselves with what others think. So they start editing their site and even their emotions.
Are you able to be totally open about your feelings on xanga?
Comments (123)
I am VERY open. That’s why I don’t tell most people IRL about my blog… I am almost completely naked on here.
That really depends on how I’m feeling.
Not always, though I still try to be more honest on Xanga than IRL. I’m a lot braver about trying to tell the truth about things I care about.
Yeah. But that’s how I am in real life also. I always said I’d rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I’m not.
I’m not totally open on this site anymore… that’s why I started that other Xanga.
It depends on how I’m feeling and who I’m interacting with. Usually there’s no difference between the people involved in my life or on Xanga.
I was very open about everything in life, when my blog was on friend’s lock. I recently took it off, and I predict more of my posts will be protected.
Dan, can you please be more original with the pictures? I have seen this “Xanga” pic for the last few posts and skipping over posts because I think I already read them.
Yes, I don’t care what others think of me. If I wanna share something very personal to me (and I have many times) I will do so. I have asked people to respect me and not judge me on my blog a few times though. I am not gonna hide my feelings for fear that someone I befriended might think I am totally different from what they have seen or whatever before. I have good and bad days like everyone and I am only human. It’s funny you bring this up cause I’ve been told on here on some of my blogs that I don’t seem like a negative person yet I really can be. People have said I have spread joy and peace through my blogs which is nice to know but I am not perfect and I can lose my head at times. Pretty much what you see is what you get like it or not.
Non-Xangans are also reading my site. Then there are those who make an account to spy on me.
rarely do people know who I am in real life. if they did i wouldn’t share as much information.
I was, it bit me in the ass, I am not anymore. It’s not worth it to be open on Xanga.
I think it depends more on the amount of readers you have. I’ve noticed if you only have a few readers it is easier to just tell life stuff.
Not really. I try, but it doesn’t happen too often.
I am open to a bit because this is my place to come to when I’m feeling like this or that. But no one gets it, that’s my only problem.
I’m not sayin anything
We’ll gladly share our feelings. We’re feeling hungry.
Sometimes a nice solution is just to start a whole new site!
Funny that you chose this topic to write on tonight. I happen to be writing a feeling-centric post right now…
I always censor myself on here.
That’s what private posts are for… but comparatively, I am open on Xanga and closed everywhere else.
no not anymore *sigh* So I also blog somewhere else sometimes when I just need to write and since I have no friends there it’s public… there is something about writing protected vs public, whether people read or not… sometimes if it’s protected I just don’t feel I’m letting it out.
But regardless what I write is still all me…
I don’t even share WHO I’m feeling at the moment on Xanga
@TheMushyPear - and this is something you’ve done?
@karisable - No, no, I meant for others.
I’m new to all this, but if nobody knows who the heck I really am why would I need to censor myself? Or are you saying that some day I’m going to care what you think about me?
@TheMushyPear - uh huh.
Not anymore.
@karisable - :)
Well I have that horrible flaw of always wanting everyone to like me. I hope that for the most part I am true to myself, and am true to what I think, but sometimes I am wishy washy.
Like I really can’t stand the Republican potential candidates, I mean I can’t stand them, but just saying that here makes me nervous. I think I’m not informed or smart enough to say that, and what if someone loves them and thinks i’m dumb. I would never write a blog about it. And if I always make light of things, I never talk about my pain, and there is a lot. So nope, I guess i’m not an open book at all.
I still spew my feelings all over the place, despite being here for years and people irl looking at my blog. The Internet helps, somehow.
These days all I do is put my username in the comments.
Rob of the Sky
It depends on what I’m writing about. There are some things that I don’t want everyone in real life to know unless I tell them directly… so I tend to keep some of that off of xanga. I am often purposefully somewhat vague. Like going through an extremely intense personal “crisis” of sorts this past year… I have yet to directly mention what it is on xanga, yet quite a few people in real life know about it. Oddly, xanga people probably know more how I FEEL about it, even though they don’t necessarily know what it is. If I were to write a blog that said what it was, some of my other blogs would be read in a whole new light I think.
Pretty much.
After a fashion. There’s a part of me that will always protect myself, but I find that the more open and vulnerable I am, the better I end up feeling.
Offline, being open and honest could get me in a LOT of trouble. Online, it wins me friends.
So, yeah. I’m totally open and honest here… I just am careful about how I present that.
i used to be more open that i am now, only because people in my real life have xangas now. but i do tell the friends i’ve made on xanga more than friends in real life. i don’t worry about what most people here think, because i know they’ll be supportive of me either way.
Yep, I am.
I am open on Xanga, but I kinda over-exaggerate the situation… It just makes the story more compelling… lol…
Absolutely! I stay true to my emotions, and the way life is treating me. Been here since Jan 1, 2011.
Yup. Then again, I’m pretty much an open book IRL anyways.
Honestly, I do remain totally open on xanga.
It bit me in the ass a few times in real life, but I stay honest.
Although, I am modestly frightened if my real life friends discovered my site. I mean, it is my life history since 2005 complete with my opinions on everything.
ive been here 5ish years and all i really do is blab about things I dont tell anyone. things that are very personal to me. Which is the reason why I seem so damned emotional in my blog.
i write how i feel then i put it on private straight away hehe
sometimes i am too open and i am trying to stay closed
if you’re just being who you are, i don’t really see a problem. unless who you are is an asshole.
Once people ‘know’ you here you begin to calcify as a ‘persona’. Then it’s game over. So long, honesty.
I have a really tiny penis. Next question.
I actually get more and more open as times goes on.
I think I got more open. The people really care about you and I think they respond when you are honest.
@AceValentineRocks - I do too. Let’s hug.
I think your’e theory makes sense. Perhaps it is the fear of showing our vulnerability and being ignored or rejected because of it. Or thinking that showing ourselves means there will be nothing to discover about ourselves to others after and we will be seen as ordinary and therefore abandoned. I think it is basically fear :(
Yes.
I have inhibitions because I know people over here jump all over you if you share a moment of ignorance. And not because they’re affected but because they want to start drama.
i used to be.
the only reason i’m not anymore is because people i know in real life read my posts too. and i won’t make it private cause my best friend is one of my readers who will not make a xanga. it just sucks cause i don’t know exactly who is reading my blog
i’m pretty much an open book…
I think in a way you’re right, Dan.
I definitely start to censor myself, because I can get pretty crazy (literally). I’ve opened multiple accounts with the intent of those accounts being me allowed to say whatever I want and whatever I feel. But if people start to comment, and especially comment routinely, that kind of freedom starts to feel stifled.
Eventually I figured out you really just need an account that literally nobody knows about except yourself if you want any real place to vent. Put it on sign-in and friends lock, never join a blog ring, never subscribe to anyone, and, most importantly, never comment on anything. This is the only way, I found, I can write in a Xanga like a diary – nor IRL or internet friends to “spoil” things. And so that’s what I did with my TOP SECRET ACCOUNT OoOoOOo.
for the most part I am open here…but then again there are some things that go on my other site…a privite closed journal…and then there is the site that I have for other things…but I haven’t posted there in quite a while…smile
Good thought. Honestly, I’m just as open with my real life friends as I am on Xanga. Some people think I’m too open, they don’t realize I still keep a lot of things to myself.
My Xanga is the realest it gets for me. I talk about things that I won’t even share with people that are in my life. I bare my deepest self in my blog. But it has nothing to do with xanga, I’ve always bared my soul through writing. Not just here, anywhere I write.
I don’t even share my feelings with myself.
I’m pretty open, I just try to avoid the emo shit.
I’m transparent on xanga. Hardly anyone I know in person knows about my blog.
I generally don’t people I know about my xanga and most of the people in my area stopped using xanga in exchange for tumblr, which I find a pretty poor excuse for a blogging site. So….that being said, I’m all open.
Unless all the people that read your xanga are people you know in real life then that’s your bad (generally speaking). However, people that do have real life friends reading their xanga, make a second xanga where they can be completely open (or more open than they are on their primary xanga). I share my feelings when I want to. none of my real life friends have xanga anymore or use their xanga anymore. So I pick and choose what I want to share, but that is my choice b/c that is how I am all the time. I don’t worry about people on here getting to know me, b/c that is what this public blogging site is about. Not to mention, there are private entries that we can all write so there is really no difficulty (imo).
I tell you all more than I usually care to tell the world.
I felt more inclined to be open on my blog back before Xanga was the community it is today. Back then, I wrote here to organize my thoughts and have them accessible to a select few, not for my thoughts to become a conversation for a community to join in on. But now that everything gets broadcasted and recommended, and having a readership and a friends list have become important features of Xanga, this place feels more like a public forum, and I feel like the way I used to blog doesn’t really belong here anymore. It’s a little disheartening to blog one’s personal thoughts for the people whose input you value, and then have a whole bunch of strangers butt in with their witty and irreverent opinions. They say to just grow thicker skin, but having that thick skin makes it hard to be as vulnerable as you might otherwise be in your writing.
Anyway, too lazy for paragraph breaks. /submit
Somewhat weird of me: I am capable to telling lies (in speech), but I can’t afford to forge feelings when I write. I stay true to my emotions on xanga, only that I represent them differently, leaving space for interpretation. (If you don’t express yourself genuinely, where else can you vent?)
People not only share their feelings about me on my blog but they also post their feelings about me on their blog too. it’s the way dying blogs try to attract traffic.
This is my second xanga account. The first, I noticed I was becoming more concerned with what people thought or assumed rather then what I felt and wanted to write about. Thats when i decided to create this second account. I’m strict about who i add as friends. They have to be going through something similar to me or have a different lifestyle than me for me to add them. I don’t have friends lock so that anyone can read and maybe someone can relate to what I’m going through. I don’t censor myself. I can’t because writing is one of the few ways i can wade through my emotions.
I’ve experienced what you’re saying, and while it’s currently a non-issue, it’s something that will come up again if I let new people in my life. The few people that still read my blog or get e-mails are the ones I’d be completely open with in real life. During certain periods of my life though, I have vastly too many private and protected posts. They’ve addressed my feelings towards people that read my rantings, or feelings that I wasn’t ready to admit to myself.
i blog regularly…but that is for my purpose only, not for anyone else’s so mine are private
Why would I make “fake” image of myself?
I’m very open in xanga. It’s a place where I can just come & vent.
I’ve been here for 8+ years and I started this blog with the intention of it being a journal I could never lose or lose interest in, and it’s been just that. If I were to censor myself, when I went to look back on my posts I’d never figure anything out. It’s for me and only me, and along the way I’ve learned that though my site is 100% for me, it’s not always 100% about me. It’s about everyone that decides to stop by and read or leave comments, and it’s just nice to know that even if I’m 100% open on only my blog, that there’s still people to care. Aka: that I’m not totally bat shit crazy
That said.. if my friends IRL ever wormed their way into my site, I’d have frequent and moderate panic attacks
What feelings?
It’s probably the one place in the world where I can be open,where I can vent, give voice to my concerns/fears/desires
No, I am not afraid to be open on xanga. However, for all the things that I cannot write about on xanga, I have a handwritten journal for.
yea but there’s always what you are vs what you wanna be to deal with. Just listening to someone barf out their feelings isn’t always so pretty or transparent… and sometimes is kinda confusing. We’re just full of feelings, I suppose. Interesting nonetheless
You find that, that girl is such a fucking pig. She thinks she’s all that, she’s chunky, she’s a fucking hypocrite, she pretends to be nice, she acts like everything is about her, and yet, as much as I want sex to be intimate, I want to have sex with her so bad. I am trying to understand why I want to have sex with a woman whose personality disgusts me. Somedays she would remind me of a man. If sex is something special, why do I crave it from someone I despise. I can’t figure this out. Do I lust her that bad? Is lust that powerful. I need a woman to save from the seductive powers of that sex goddess witch.
I would be more open if my IRL friends hadn’t found it.
I find that keeping your Xanga anonymous you will never feel afraid to express your true feelings. You find those that you enjoy to follow and read on Xanga but maybe keep a distance with them so you don’t find yourself wanting to hide some of who you are. But of course when you can express yourself truly and they still enjoy being around you those are your true friends.
My own personal experience has been quite the opposite. When I began on Xanga, under a diferent profile name, I wrote and edited and edited and edited, with the idea of posting the perfect, gripping stories, like a magazine writer might pen a column. Some of those posts came together to actually turn into a published book, “From Divorce Court to the Ice Cream Shop!”
Now, many of my posts and comments are far more personal, open, and raw. I have come to know people here, and they have come to know me. Maybe even more than the people I know in real life in some ways. Messaging and im-ing is another way that I have added to my interactions. And these are even more personal (because they are completely private). Gosh, I rely on some of the friends I have met here for support and emotional intimacy that is no less real than real life!
is that the way you’re feeling?
when I do come out and complain about something it’s to vent and I notice that others respond with support for my feelings so I don’t apologize but I also try to be positive.
Yes.
But I am also practically invisible on xanga too. But I’m not afraid of what others might think.
no, too many of my rl friends read it.
i think this is really interesting and agree with it to a certain extent. although i am still a lot more open on xanga than i am with my “real life” friends
@hollowhopes - LOL… then why not just write one on paper or on a word doc and password protect it if you share a computer?
nothing is safe anywhere. so i hold it all inside until i’m about to explode and then me and jeff go have some crazy wild sex.
I mostly just share what other people might want to hear…hobbies and interests. I have learned not to be too open anywhere though..except to my best friend (Jesus) and I don’t even need words there.
That’s what most of my posts are generally about. So, I don’t have a hard time opening up on Xanga or in person. Usually, I open up to Xanga more if I can’t open up in person.
That’s a brilliant statement.
The more I am on Xanga the more I will learn, the more open-minded I will become. And because I vow never to meet Xangan friends in person, I can be completely open about myself.
That’s why I never tell anyone about my xanga. My friends are people who subscribed to me solely because they happened to pass by and enjoyed reading my posts.
Xanga is the only place I can really be frank and honest and vent. Something I don’t do IRL.
I think it depends on the content–I used to be a lot more open about the things I write, but now I’m a bit more vague on things–just in case…
I used to be. I started out that way…. But then real life set in for me. No, not the getting to know people part. But the part of me that feels like she’s being annoying and whiny when she talks about her problems because she thinks no one wants to hear it and knows there are other people out there who are dealing with worse things…. I hate being a bother…
I try to be open about what I am thinking and feeling and for the most part I am but there are a few things I keep to myself by making the post private.
I just started again with xanga and its somewhere that i didnt tell anyone in my real life so that im completely open. Somewhere i can let go of my feelings without being judged
Fortunately I don’t think anyone reads my blog, so I’m very open. If people would start reading it, I’d adjust definitely. Plus no one in real life has my xanga thank god.
i usually am, if not in the public posts, definitely private. thats because some of my friend IRL do know about the site, and also, some stuff i just don’t want ANYBODY to know about me, idk. sometimes im just thought-barfing and I dont need YO JUDGMENT! lol
I am. But whether or not they would read the emotional post is beyond me. Vulnerability on my part doesn’t play out that well for me.
This has happened to me on both of my Xangas. Which is why I just disappear. Ah well. I’ve always thought of making a secret blog :3
absolutely not.
when your girlfriend is also on xanga, in a word, no.
I am more open on xanga any other social network website I’ve been on (asian avenue, facebook, myspace, livejournal) however… I still have nosy stalker people who may be active but I won’t know it so I try not to put too much…
I love xanga!
<333Arlene
I’m very open about my feelings concerning myself and my life . I do not always share how I feel with someone when I disagree with them.
I’m surprised this many people are still on Xanga.
It’s gone the way of the dodo.
Well, hello, not many people IRL know me on here, so I can say whatever I want.
Heh. No lie, I feel like I can’t completely open up to anyone I know anymore. And that’s why I just made an account on here.
Absolutely!!!!
i completely agree. i used to blog here under romeosintuition. I loved it but after a few months and after sharing so much information about myself, i felt self conscious. like everyone was seeing through my username. So i left. Came back. Started opening up again and hopefully I can relax. As long as I’m myself and not trying to live up to my username, i’ll be okay. thats why i chose christianplainandsimple
I think you’re totally right. For once.
I think you hit the nail on the head. I’ve had two other xanga accounts, shut them down and took a break for a while. It’s not that I mind what other people think, it’s just that when you become friends with some people, you get a lot of the same thing. I have also worked myself into a corner where I didn’t like where things were headed so I just stopped.
Yes, it allows me to be more open…. But as always there is so much more unsaid than said, so it makes it somewhat easier to say what is unsaid than to unsay wahat has been said….?!? …..something like that. Peace
@keystspf - IDK, it doesn’t feel like the same thing. I’ve been writing on Xanga nonstop since I was 13 and I’m 20 now. Even if I do all those things that make the Xanga private, I still feel there’s some element of freedom and liberation that doesn’t come with just writing something in a word document. I imagine that it’s all out there, floating around somewhere (because it kind of is). I see it as a better release than a word document for some reason. And for REALLY personal things, I just stuck to pen and paper.
It’s not something I strive to do. If I acted on my feelings all the time, I would get myself in a boatload of trouble; and I don’t think blogging my feelings would work any better. It’s bad enough that my family, friends, and co-workers have to ride my emotional roller coaster; why drag the Xanga community into it as well? I’d rather sort through my feelings a while and find something a bit more objective to offer the world.
I am still the same blogger I was.
@hollowhopes - I know what you mean. I had someone ask me the same question and I was rather stuck for a response. I was wondering what someone else would come up with.
Parece importante saber o que as pessoas pensam de nós.
http://mariorezende.com
Theory disproved. I’ve been on Xanga since 2004, and I’m still incredibly open.
Yes. Because no one in real life knows about it or reads it, I can say whatever I want about my job, family, coworkers, etc, and not have to worry about it getting back to them. It’s the best part about Xanga.
I’ve gone more anonymous, but I love sharing my life in this little corner of the interwebs.
I plan to be open about my feelings. That’s why I started this blog!
I am much more open on Xanga than I am on Facebook. That is the beauty of Xanga