November 21, 2011
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The Twilight Movie: A Guide
I took my wife to see Twilight earlier today. So let me give you my impression.
I hated the wedding dress. Notice she went with the form fitting on the lower half that I dislike.
One part of the movie was unrealistic. Their first sexual experience must have lasted 20 minutes. Everyone knows the first time lasts 3 and a half minutes. Even I was bored at the end of it.
I thought it was classy when Bella drank the human blood from the straw. I am not sure I want a woman who can’t do that and say, “It is good” at the end.
Now Bella had a situation that we need to discuss. She obviously got pregnant. Her baby was a vampire.
It was growing too fast and she told she was going to die if she did not abort the baby. She decided she wanted to keep the baby even if it killed her.
Clearly her life was at risk.
Should Bella keep the unborn vampire or abort it and save her own life?
Comments (65)
Die, Bella.
It’s just vampire not a human, so abort it is ok :p
Oh, it works now!
Anyway, I’m not much of a Twilight fan, but I did enjoy this movie a lot (mostly because I am obsessed with romance, weddings and babies). But I agree, I HATED her dress (which is not the dress in the picture up there). It was long-sleeved and thin material and had lots of buttons. Just ugly.
@fabolousclown - But it was half human and they found out it was “pure and good”.
Lol, Twilight.
“One part of the movie was unrealistic.” – Dan, on the latest Twilight movie
@armsraceofsound - Oh lol. Actually I didn’t know vampire’s sperm can grow into a baby in a human’s ovum hehe =P
@saintvi - that’s the way to think!
I’m still baffled at the prospect of a vampire getting it up in the first place, let alone conceiving a child.
@fabolousclown - it’s fiction- anything is possible. Lol
I don’t get what was with everyone’s first sex experience… If it really only lasted 3 1/2 minutes I feel sorry for you guys.
Doesn’t make any sense to me.
If Edward were a real vampire Bella would’ve died 3 movies ago.
As a man of science, I cannot approve of the Twilight series.
First and foremost, most animals reproduce to pass along our genetic material and our genes after death. It’s a way to keep your bloodline going and the only way any of us can “live forever” (if not, then something close to it). However, why require sexual reproduction if you’re immortal? You’re pretty much guaranteed eternal life and have no need to produce offspring. Not only that, but why a human and why sexually? I thought vampires were able to convert humans by draining them of their blood, shouldn’t that be a suitable form of reproduction in itself?
ALSO, as a creature of the dead, or “undead”, your bodily functions should’ve shut down a long time ago. No heartbeat, no blood flow, nothing. How the hell can a male sprout an erection if he has no pulse? Rigor mortis?
Last but not least, vampires don’t real and Meyer raped a thesaurus writing that abomination of a book.
I hath spoken.
If she keeps the unborn child and she dies…then the series ends right? LET THE CHILD LIVE.
LOL… Dan. Hey, I’d have Edward’s baby, hahaha.
Usually I would say KEEP the baby, but in this case she should abort it. They don’t have souls, so it doesn’t matter.
Everything ended up hunky-dory in the end, so it doesn’t really matter. The ending of that series was a total cop-out.
As much as I dislike how SMeyer made the story work for whatever she wanted, I have to grudgingly give Swan some props for sticking with her choice to follow through with the pregnancy despite being strongly advised to abort. I mean, I dislike the anti-abortion message of the book, but part of being pro-choice is respecting the mother’s decision, and if she wanted to sacrifice herself for that kid then that’s her choice. I mean, fuck, it’s the only choice she made that she didn’t let herself be pressured into changing (she never wanted marriage until Eddiekins forced it upon her, for example).
Abort it then drink it?
The whole series is unrealistic and dramatized waaay to much. I think bella should have keep the baby and not save her own life LOL
I wonder what undead-placenta looks like.
@Baseballchik138 - If you dont know what happens, your going to laugh.. I did.. I cant watch the Twilight movies (or read the books for that matter).. but I know what happens and its pretty hilarious..lol
I loved the movie, saw it Friday. /nonhatin
@belleorecluses - lol… yeah, i agree. XD
I would name your blog the dreamland! While Santa knocks at our door just once per year, you blog is open the whole year – wow!
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they aren’t sexually appealing, so the sex scene is disgusting than romantic. I didn’t watch the movie but that pic is enough to deter me from watching the movie. I can’t get into a story with sissy looking male vampires
abort.
It is her choice and after all it is part of the Vampire plan. She just has not figured it out yet
if he’s dead, how can he produce the blood needed for an erection anyway?
I don’t think I can do this anymore. Come on your site and continue talking shit. I feel upset. I have no excuse to be a loser, I am only hurting myself keeping to myself. I have become lonely. My loneliness combined with my anti-social personality, and other issues, keep me sad lonely, and miserable. It’s come to the point my face looks sad all the time now. I live in my fantasy world, in my room I pretend, I reinterpret my life, I say ” I am loved, I am wanted,” the lies make me feel good while I pretend. To be loved, appreciated, respected, I pretend I have and had these things all along.
Am I a lost cause? No. I am saved. For unlike Loborn, I am aware of my faults, and I know I am in the wrong. My salvation lies not in the expectation that one day I will change my ways, it lies in the fact that I am dealing with this emptiness in healthy ways. I am a good person. Yes, I am an oversexualized person, but that is my nature, I am still a good person. If I die, I will not go to hell. And I am aware that I should not write here, doing so makes me feel less lonely, I pretend people read my stuff.
I am also considering putting myself on probation, I am not allowed to talk about dick for a week. Talking about dick can be stimulating to me, you know, it is a blessing to be male, dicks enjoy sex more than vaginas, and dicks of all colors never complain, whereas a vagina needs to be appreciated. But, I imagine that a woman with a sexy body feels sexy all the time. Maybe being a woman, is like, you need love and affection more than us guys, and that can explain how I am surviving without smiles, touches, hugs. And since I am not loved, I am a rose in a dark cave, kept alive by a small ray of light.
@PervyPenguin - it’s true. vampires don’t real.
Okay, I have never read any of the series or seen any of the movies, or had them described to me, so this is what my face is doing while reading this: O_o
@belleorecluses - hahaha right. Mine lasted like 30 minutes. i was with an experienced guy and it was amazing. I hurt for a total of 3 seconds then enjoyed the rest of it.
as for this movie. i read the book and they did a pretty good job keeping it like the book. they skipped a good amount as they do with any book but it was still good.
The dress. awful. soooo hideous. im not a fan of form fitting dresses anyway. and the buttons in the back were just ugly. I liked her dancing dress better. it was cute. and they did an epic job of making her look skinny as all hell and boney. the gray was a great touch.
the wedding draggggggeeed tho. I was like seriously do we need all this talking. UGE. and she’s sooooooa awkward about everything~!! drove me nuts. smile bella. fucking smile.
Ummmmm,the whole point is for her to die so she can live forever.Don’t you know anything about Vampires….geeeeez!
Entertaining AND amusing. And bonus: now I don’t have to see the movie.
@armsraceofsound - i was very disappointed in the dress. i expected more. i did like the back of the dress though!
i’m still not sure 1. how he got an erection and 2. how he had live sperm. i’m so baffled.
3 1/2 minutes?… LOL Try most of the day… several times that day… Wow, do I feel bad for some people. Though, I’m wondering a bit just what part of the whole experience supposedly lasts only 3.5 minutes.
LOL. I thought vampires were already dead. So, when you are aborting a vampire baby, how would that work? Do you need a tiny stake? Is it born with fangs?
If Twilight teaches the human race anything it’s that vampires are people too. Even when they are just masses of fetal tissue. I say save the blessed vampire baby!
Twilight = Lame.
Twilight movies = Lame acting. Lame dialog. Lame story.
so. thats how I summed it up on Friday after I had seen the movie….
@WaitingToShrug - LOL You aren’t missing much. I read the books because I like to read & was told they were great…I go to the movies because my sister makes me …. I’ve come to the conclusion that people lie & suck! lol
The books/movies = LAME!
Why do we care?
It’s a awful franchise and these aren’t even REAL vampires.
If vampires can reproduce, wouldn’t the number of vampires grow exponentially as vampires are immoral? Wouldn’t the entire population of Earth be vampires at some point?
@mtngirlsouth - lol
Her baby’s not a vamp.
@mycontinuity - As opposed to the moral, good ones?
@TallTanYoungLovely - As a mathematical equation ><
@mycontinuity - I was just commenting on your typo lol.
Oh good god.
@skylar_rose - That’s my problem with it! It’s repeatedly stated that he has no heartbeat, therefore he has no bloodflow, therefore he has no BONER, so even assuming there was some dormant little spermlets chilling out in his dead balls, unless he and Bella were getting kinky with a turkey baster, I really don’t see how that happened.
@tgwiy - “REAL vampires”?
@tjordanm - they sparkle.
I’m a huge Twilight fan, and her baby was half and half. If you read the book, it all came out okay in the end…
Easy, abort the films, the books. Anyone involved with the production of both books and films should be exiled to an island for crimes against humanity.
It probably lasted so long because Edward had to be extra careful and slow as if he got to excited he could’ve literally killed her with his thrust. The baby isn’t a vampire. It is a vampire/human hybrid and it is still a child. If you look at it as such it’s harder to just say “well it’s killing her so kill it”. There are many women who have risky pregnancies and choose their child over their own lives. It’s called love.
To whomever asked how it was even possible, the way they explained it is that male vampires for the most part essentially stay the same after puberty till death. That means even though he’s essentially frozen in time, he’s still a man and seeing as we don’t change much biologically it is entirely possible for a male vampire to impregnate a mortal woman who is fertile. There are tons of tales of women being visited in the night by a demon and finding out they are pregnant weeks later. It is the same as an 80 year old man still being able to make babies with a fertile woman and why an 80 year old woman for the most part cannot become pregnant.
Did the wife give you a bj during the movie?
The movie is crap, so it’s a perfect setting for that. Although, given that you had to poll your readers whether to get a birthday party or a bj, maybe your wife giving you a bj is more boring than that movie. That’d be pretty sad. LOL! Hey, *you* brought it all up, so I hope no one’s bothered by what I’m saying.
::grin::
Stephanie Meyers has created the most popular love starved twit chick of all time, way to go
and even Angel (David Boreanez) admitted, vampires can’t have children… Wait Edwards not a real vampire, so Glampires can have children!
Hmm an interesting moral dilemma…do you end the life of a thing that is already dead, er, undead? *rolls eyes*
oh man oh man, if I hadn’t read the book or watched the movie last night, I would been oMG spoiler alert. But I agree with half these things.
Hmmm… keep the baby and risk death, abort the baby and save her life, OR abort the entire movie and save the lives of millions of brain cells? I think we all know what the right thing to do is…
It was not at all the dress that was described in the book. Ugh, it was very unflattering. But overall I enjoyed the movie. And, I’m all for keeping Renesmee… Bring on the vampire spawn!
I bet baby fetus tastes great with pineapples.
Haha, “one part of the movie was unrealistic.”
Yeah, the whole franchise is unrealistic– that’s why people like it. Obviously she should keep the baby so that she can appear all self-sacrificing just to be turned into a glamorous, powerful vampire in the end. I think Twilight is ridiculous– yet I love it, and I’m reading it again. I think what I love most about the books is the setting– it makes me want to live in Forks, because it just sounds so beautiful– and well, there are vampires and werewolves and shit that live there.
Yeah having sex with a vampire would really be impossible :s but the book explains how it is possible, the film doesn’t say anything at all about it.
oh and yeah I thought the dress would have been better, love the back though, except for the buttons. Seen the movie for the 2nd time and I love it, but I’m a Twilight fan anyway so I think I would have liked it anyway…I just love how Edward represent every girls dream! Romantic, sensitive, a gentleman…everything that a girl wants but let’s face it Edward is still a character in a book.
oh and I think the pregnancy just shows the unconditional love of a mother and how a baby is sometimes a ‘problem’ for men. It exposes the problems of ‘sharing’ one’s love.
DIE, BELLA, DIE!!!!