December 6, 2011
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I Want to Punch My Son’s Coach
My son’s coach threw a basketball at him today. My son was at basketball practice today and his coach was describing a play to them. They had it written on paper.
According to my son, he was looking at the paper and the coach thought he was not paying attention. So the coach threw the basketball at him and it hit him in the face. My son got angry and asked him why he did that.
The coach yelled at him and threw him out of practice. He told him the only way he could come back to play on the team is if he ran laps in practice tomorrow.
Now usually I am the rational one. I told my wife that this was part of the game. But the longer I thought about it, the angrier I got. The coaches have a policy that if they have a problem, they are supposed to go to the coach instead of to their parents.
I was sort of annoyed at the whole policy and I could not resist. So I called the coach at home and left a message on his answering machine saying I wanted him to call me and told him I heard he threw a basketball at my son and that it hit him in the face. He did not return the call so I called again and told him not to discuss the issue with my son until he talked to me first and not to intimidate my son.
My wife is concerned that he is just going to get kicked off the basketball team.
My thinking is he threw the basketball at my son and it hit him in the face so I should go find a basketball and . . .
Would you confront the coach?
Comments (118)
I’d take him aside and threaten his life for fucking with my kid.
Wow, that sounds very unprofessional. Maybe your son should have quit the team after all. :(
Oh yes I would.
Oh yeah and do it hard. I am thinking he blew up and I not going to try to crucify him over it, but the dude needs to apologize for hiting him in th face
If the coach has an issue with it, talk to HIS boss.
Don’t forget though, there are two sides to every story.
M
Punch his fucking face off.
I thought it said “I want to punch my son’s CROTCH”.
yeah that’s not ok that he did that.
Deck him. I originally mistyped deck as something else… and only do my mistype if you’re a top.
It’s worth a talk. I’d do whatever it took to keep him on the team, even if it means accepting a clear wrong.
@TakingxOverxMe -
“Punch his fucking face off. “
According to Newton’s Third Law of Motion, that may break Dan’s fucking hand off.
I completely feel you… I am usually docile and rational about drama. I wouldn’t hurt a fly, but I swear to god if my brother’s mistress comes into my view or I hear her annoying squeaky voice once. All rationality aside, I’d beat the crap out of her. She hurt someone I love (my niece). If someone hurts me, it’s not as big of a deal.
You definitely do need to speak to the coach though. Get his side of the story, I would avoid getting upset till you hear it. But it’s probably not a good idea to throw a basketball at a kid, even if he’s picking his nose, staring out a window. It’s dangerous. Basketballs aren’t light. He could have broke his nose. If the coach is still being macho about it. Go to higher ups. Like I said, throwing a ball at a kid (teenager, whatever), not okay. If he would have used his fist to hit him? Really what’s the difference.
@ShimmerBodyCream - Somewhere down below, Freud is smiling knowingly.
I would confront anyone who assaults my child. And I would have used the word “assault” in the phone message. And maybe the words “police” and “legal action” as well.
He could have seriously injured him just because he lost his temper. What kind of coach acts like that? I’d totally confront him. As for your son staying on the team, he shouldn’t have to tolerate physical assaults to do it!
Yikes. Even if your son WASN’T paying attention, what kind of adult throws a fucking basketball in a kid’s face?
@saintvi - I was typing my comment while you were typing yours, so great minds on this one, but it was definitely an assault.
What a douche bag! What kind of coach does this? I would have words with him then have words with the principal. Then continue to keep a close eye on things and find out if any of the other kids have had any problems.
I’ll punch him.
With a shovel.
Nah. It’ll teach your kid to pay attention better.
Seriously though, it works, but it’s a shitty way of going about it.
Definitely worthy of confrontation. That’s unacceptable.
Have your people call my people… we’ll discuss.
Go to the principal. Just skip right over him and talk to someone who has the power to do something. That way hopefully your son will not be kicked off the team.
if I were your son I would grab a basketball and throw it at you for not letting me handle this on my own…
children hate parental-coach encounters when either side is unhappy (jeez,I love both my coach and my parents but as my parents don’t support my athletic performances I do not look forward to the day they meet – hopefully never)
This is not an easy answer for me because I don’t have kids at the moment and I’d really have to be in that position to know what I’d do. I’m very reactionary so my I’m apt to say yes to your question. The right thing to do however is to be the better man and speak to the coach about his behavior. What the coach did was completely unacceptable, it was the act of a child. He physically assaulted your son. He should be exposed and brought to the proper authorities right after you have your discussion (don’t disclose that that’s what you’ll do just do it, if bringing him to the proper authorities is your plan).
In the meantime if you talk to the coach and your son loses his position on the basketball team so be it. Would you want your son to play for a coach as abusive as that? See if there is another league he can join.
I don’t know, those are just thoughts off the top of my head, not saying they are the accurate things to do.
sue him
I like the fact that your son said something to him. Good for him. Also the fact that it took you a while to get worked up proves you were giving the coach the benefit of the doubt at first and not just flying off the handle.
I think a face to face meeting is appropriate if he continues to ignore your messages. But no, I don’t think you should punch him.
Let him think you’re just one synapse away from readjusting his headspace and timing.
My son ended up quitting the basketball team in HS because the coach was so physically and verbally abusive and foul-mouthed. There’s really no reason for that. He insisted that I not go to either the coach or the principal, because he didn’t want his “mommy” going to bat for him, but if his dad were still alive, I know for a fact he would have gone in to talk to both that coach and the principal if my son had been assaulted by the coach himself. Too many kids keep silent because they don’t want to be penalized by the coach for speaking up. If they don’t want kids to bully in the schools, then coaches and teachers shouldn’t, either.
hell yeah I would. I give what I get.
Woah… the coach’s policy is that if his athletes have an issue they go to the coaches, not their own parents. Hello… BLACK FLAG!
After the Penn State fiasco, do we really want our children’s first line of defense to be their coaches? Umm, no. If the coach had made your son run laps because he thought he wasn’t paying attention that is something different, may not be “fair” but at least it wasn’t cruel. It is mean to throw a basketball into a person’s face. Those things are hard! Good luck!!
I would confront the coach after I talked to some other kids who were there. See what their perspective is first.
I WOULD punch the coach. In a dark alley. When the cops come I’d say “What are you talking about? What proof do you have?”
What an asshole.
I’d talk to the school give them a call… Maybe he’ll get fired.
The job of a high school coach is to instruct.
Ergo, a lesson must be taught for it to be permissible instructor behavior.
What lesson is taught by throwing a basketball in a student’s face while in between plays?
So when you go punch the coach in the face, you aren’t punching your kid’s coach in the face – your kid’s coach did nothing wrong. Your punching some asshole who threw a ball at your kid’s face in the face. Because no high school coach has that sort of behavior as part of their high school curriculum. Only assholes do that.
you shouldn’t interfere.
I would most definitely confront the coach.
I’d tell him “Meet me at the flag pole, 3:00PM, sharp mother fucker”
throw a basketball at his kid’s face
I’d report him to the BoE for my area, and explain that if they did not give me his signed resignation, the media will be the next group to ask for it.
I am not a lawyer, but, isn’t assault on a minor an offense that requires reporting the police in Texas? Isn’t it a crime NOT to report this? Hitting a child in the face with a basketball intentionally could break his nose and force the bones into his brain. If there are witnesses to this assault I believe you can press charges and get him jailed. If the coach refuses to recognize that he has illegally assaulted your, and apologize to both your son and you, I think you should take legal steps to have him removed from his job – to protect both your son and any other kids he coaches now and in the future.
Of course, verify the facts first.
good luck with that situation…only want to add that before you decide how to proceed on this, you need to be sure you have the facts. i do remember that our son really enjoyed playing basketball in a local league all through elementary school, but when he got to middle school, all of a sudden the kids, coaches and even the parents seemed to think it should be like the NBA, with kids getting slammed to the floor out on the court and fouls not being called nearly as much as before. kinda took all of the fun out of playing for our son and watching for us, so we did not encourage him to continue playing when he decided to quit the following year. he also played soccer at that same time (which he continued to do) and for some reason, there was not near as much of an increase in aggression on the soccer field…
Hell yes I would confront the coach!
R they even allowed to do that??? that’s abuse. not just physical, but emotional and mental. that coach needs a consequence from this.
depends on how old is your son. If he’s over 10 years old he should handdle his own problems at least at first.
Your son won’t get kicked off the team. If he does, that becomes a bigger problem. And by confronting the coach, do you mean punching him? Well, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth… But then your son might really be kicked off the team…
Take action passively. Anger is self harm.
At least ask for clarifications. It is hard to know what really happened especially when you were not there yourself.
I had something similar happen with the volleyball coach but the coach did it to the whole team, she locked us in the gym after practice then had us do 150 down and backs while our parents were breaking windows trying to get us out of the gym, the coach was fired soonafter. The fact that it is more of an individual concern I would confront him, and if it is for a school, make sure a higher authority is there also so there is no bullshit!
This reminds me of the time I got red carded (as a spectator) and ejected from one of my brothers soccer games. I don’t think the coach handled the situation well, there is no excuse for throwing a basketball at your son. There are numerous ways it could have been handled which would have yielded better results. You as a parent have the right to be concerned as to the safety and welfare of your son. I would hear the coach out, listen to his side of the story before jumping to any conclusions. If that fails to produce anything I would escalate it to someone who can handle the situation within the school/organization. I hope you are able to find a resolution that works for your and your son.
I would put this man under a horse and let the horse have it’s way with him.
Great Post!
Violence is not the answer, though.
i do not know if I would have contacted the coach at home. But definately either emailed him and/or left a message on the school phone.
and I am surprised that you didnt tell the coach not to speak to your son until he has talked to your lawyer
definitely. I’d also go to the head of the league with this.
let us know what happens!
Depends on how old your son is, maybe I would let him try to solve it on his own first (not by running but by telling him calmly that he was in the wrong for a start. It can be so extremely satisfying to stand up for yourself against authorithies when you are young). If he doesn’t feel up to doing that, because the coach is an a-hole and he is young and wanted me to do it I probably would. I once had a teacher act like I didn’t pay attention because we talked about a book text and I looked at it. I still hate her, that bitch. Wish I had told her off. But she didn’t throw anything at me.
Not sure. I mean I would want to, but I wouldn’t want him to get it even worse after the confrontation.
Dropkick him in the throat.
@FallingSafely - I agree with Falling Safely 100%. Follow her advice. PS if your son loses his spot on the team, OR if he doesn’t get playing time and it seems unreasonable, I would go to your athletic director. That crap is NOT ok! The kids have enough trouble at school with bullying from their peers, without getting it from the coach too!
Hellz yes I would. There’s no excuse for behavior like that
Yep. You don’t throw shit in ppl’s faces. That’s bullfuckinshit.
Yeah I think you should have a talk with him ><
Unacceptable what he did! He shouldn’t be coaching a team with that kind of behavior.
I would definitely confront the coach. How is your son handling this? Your son was humiliated in front of his teammates.
Your son needs to figure out whether his love for the game is greater than his understanding that he’s playing for a coach who’s a mental case.
Nah. It’s mostly that coaches fault. But if something like this happened again I’d be concerned.
cut his tires
I would be so pissed. If your son gets kicked off the team then you should go to the principal, that was VERY unprofessional of the coach..
Uncalled for. I would definitely say something.
Best case scenario is that, that kind of behaviour doesn’t happen again to your son or anyone else’s child.
Even if the coach may be an idiot about it, your son will have the knowledge that his Dad has got his back.
To be honest, I’d probably side with the coach on this one unless I saw for myself that it was malicious… and then I would’ve handled it right there. Aside from that, it’s a kid saying he got hit in the face. I doubt the coach did it intentionally to harm the kid. Sure it sucks getting hit in the face, but he needs to suck it up. That’s just sports for ya. Now, I dont know how old your kid is, so I may have a different opinion if the kid is in elementary, but anything older, I think I stick to my guns.
I remember one summer when I was about six I was made to go to a weeklong football (soccer) club. The people who ran it clearly had no idea how to connect with kids. The first day I turned up in a T-shirt of a TV show. These guys refused to call me by my real name, and would only refer to me by the show on my shirt. It’s easy to make children feel demeaned and useless, even for minor things. My advice would be to confront him and ask him why he thought it was necessary.
I know you’ve been parenting sons longer than us, but we figured something out last year that I’ll share. Chad was quarterback on a pop-warner team for a city 20 minutes north of ours so we didn’t know the other players, the other parents or the coaches when we started. We chose that team in part because it was mostly made up of black boys and Chad’s best friend is black, and it was nice for a change for him not to be the minority. But these boys and coaches were from a different SES and were … rough. The head coach gave Chad the most pitiful front line he could give him, and even though they were just 10 years old they do some serious tackling and kids can get seriously hurt. The other quarterback had all the talented big boys on his front line and had plenty of time to get a pass off.
Chad was getting smashed every practice. I counted and he had about 2.5 seconds to get the ball off or he was toast. Then he would get yelled at for getting sacked. Just stupid coaching.
Les struggled whether to say something or not. He really had a hard time for about a week until he couldn’t take it anymore and finally wrote the coach an email telling him how he felt and asking to him to find time so they could talk about it.
The next day the coach was totally different to Chad. He treated him with respect. He didn’t change his front line (which was totally stupid and has made the kid not want to be quarterback any more even though he has a talent for it) but he stopped ridiculing him. And he was thereafter very friendly with Les. Of course Les’ letter was professional and not emotional so that helped.
This year there was a similar situation with the new coach. This new coach was rubbing ALL the parents wrong, he was just so intense you would think he was coaching college ball not 10 and 11 year olds. Les finally wrote him saying that if he ridicules these kids they’re not going to learn the game, and isn’t that exactly what these younger years are about. The coach mellowed out and the kids (30 of them) started enjoying the game again. They still called him “stink eye Bill” because he still gave them a look to kill when they messed up, but at least he stopped verbally berating them.
Talking to coaches hasn’t hurt our son.
I think you should talk to your son’s coach. There’s no magic in his tactics just because he’s the coach. If he’s making a mistake he needs to be informed about it. Good luck!
Sir, mr. cafe sir, I think coach is sexually attracted to your son.
doesn’t matter if your son was truly paying attention or not, the coach is *supposed* to be the adult and set a good example and he did now. He shouldn’t have thrown the ball at him no matter what he was doing, not cool!
@ItsWhatEyeKnow - Your son is being subjected to a clear cut case of racial discrimination. And TheologiansCafe’s son is playing for a coach who is a mental case.
It seems terribly unjust for you to sacrifice your own son on the alter of political correctness and for TC to hesitate even one second in getting his son away from a professional psychopath.
Penn State is going through hell right now because parents, staff and players turned a blind eye to pathological sickness in exchange for the status rendered by the almighty sports program.
My coworker’s a basketball coach so I ran this by him. He laughed then said, “Yeah, I don’t agree with that. Throwing a ball at a kid’s head is a no-no. As much as you might want to…which is every two minutes.” He also threw a disclaimer out there saying that y’all do things differently in Texas, like duels at lunch. So, the coach was in the wrong, but maybe your son also needs to buck up and shed his Midwesternness and become a solid Texan.
I mean, my Texas cousins’ other Grandma carries a rifle in her truck and shoots at rattlers. No joke.
@RulerofMasons - LOL!
@homealivein45 - Racial discrimination – my husband did wonder if that played a role in the problem with the front line. What I love is how color-blind all the KIDS are. They just love each other and to them skin color matters about as much as shoe size.
@ItsWhatEyeKnow - What would your reaction be if Chad and his black best friend played for a white coach who deliberately set things up so that the black boy got creamed every play? The racial discrimination would be just as obvious in that case as it is with your son.
@homealivein45 - But that’s not how it plays out. These boys have been playing sports together since they were 4 and almost always (except pop-warner) the best friend is the only black boy on the team. Usually the coaches assume that the best friend (maybe because he’s black) is going to be great. But he is great. He really is. His cousin already makes 4 million a year at a sport and this kid is a natural good athlete too. BUT! So is my son. Both boys are equal athletes in just about every sport they’ve tried so far, but the coaches give the best friend instant attention and my son has to prove himself first for it. But I do not begrudge the best friend this advantage. I love him like a son and I understand the obstacles he’ll have to overcome in our country just because of the shade of skin he was born with. So the fact that the coaches (black and white) assume he’ll be a superstar doesn’t bother me. It’s just a reoccuring thing that happens at the start of every new sport season that i’ve noticed.
That’s assault. If you talk to him again, use that word, repeatedly.
The one thing I have learned about being a parent is, no matter if you are for the most part a rational person, the second someone messes with your kid, you become the most irrational person in the world. That was definitely uncalled for. If your son had in fact not been paying attention, I’m sure calling his name would have got his attention. The coach definitely needs to be confronted.
How old is your son?
There is definitely the factor of getting your son’s input on it, I think. Describing to him what your perspective is and then hearing his.
~V
You want to punch your coach? Oh, my, how violent! I thought you were a Christian. WWJD?
Advise your son to turn the other cheek. And, of course, lead by example and do the same yourself.
Who cares about the basketball team? No abuse is worth being on a team. Too many people don’t get that these days. That’s why so many kids die from hazing.
I’m a troll whuahahaha
A love troll
Get the “man”‘s side of the story. He could come from one of those families that believes in that kind of crap, but, since this is 2011, not 1120, it should cease.
If he shows no remorse, go to his higher-ups and get him removed. Your son deserves to be coached with respect.
So, a guy who can hit kids in the face and intimidate them but can’t even speak to another adult who is upset and wants answers. Sounds like a coward to me, and I wouldn’t want him giving my kid any advice or giving him even the chance of becoming my kids ‘hero’. I’d definitely do something, that’s just messed up. Sounds like he just doesn’t like your son for some reason. Maybe your son doesn’t give him enough worship time or something?
Definitely talk to the dude. If he’s getting impatient with people while they are actually trying to do basketball stuff then sure he’s lost his mind and needs to be taken down a peg.
If that had been my kid, the coach would have gotten hit in the face with more than a basketball. Just sayin’.
See this is why I didn’t ever actively pursue sports. I understand coaches for the most part are tough on their kids because sports, overall, is very tough and you have to have a thick skin. I’ve seen coaches yelling and sometimes cussing at practices but for the most part people accept this. However, I believe that if we don’t actively put restrictions on just how tough they can be on the kids it can get out of hand like it did with your son. The coach probably didn’t think much of it as I can think of a few of the coaches at my school who would’ve probably done something like this and thought it A-OK. I am not advocating that they be softer on the team or anything like that. I respect guys who go into sports and can handle that stuff. I was never one for having some overweight bald headed white man screaming in my face, but that is just me.
I would try to contact him one more time and if he dodges you again, take it to the principal. Try to express that you feel what he did was unwarranted even if your son really wasn’t paying attention. No one deserves to have a basketball, which is pretty hard after a baseball, thrown in their face. That goes double for a teenager on school grounds.
Definitely!
I’m sorry, but his “policy” is fucked up. Parents will be parents and children will come to their parents when they have an issue; not to their damn coach!
If someone intentionally hit my kid in the face with ANYTHING I would hit them in the face with my fist. Not kidding.
Speak to someone higher up than the coach, tell him what happened, let them ask the coach tell his side of the story, and perhaps get him fire, or in trouble. Either bad coach, bad information , or bad lying child.
turn the other cheek, or, if you are going to throw ur bible teaching out of the window anyways, perhaps u can throw that bible to the coach’s face (instead of a basketball)
Of course I would! And if he kicks him out of the team, report him.
Call the cops, Dan, and file charges. That is assault and battery.
Strict division of high apprentice
Sweat Ralph Lauren
Go down to the school.
The coaches have a policy that if they have a problem, they are supposed to go to the coach instead of to their parents. Huh?
Assault would be if he ACTED like he was going to throw the ball.
ACTUALLY throwing the ball is considered “Assault and Battery.”
Just thought yall should know.
@NightCometh - Yeah, I agree, I didn’t get that either.
I assume the author meant “The player” is supposed to go to the coach.
But heck, it’s only english. Who needs that? School is for basketball!
I would tell him to respect people. How would he like it if he got hit in the face with a ball?? I would tell the school board on that..
Actually, I think I would go to the POLICE DEPARTMENT and file a police report and a complaint in Municipal Court and get that son of a bitch in really deep shit with his job. This coach is some dumb jock asshole.
When I was in 10th grade I broke my thumb playing basketball in gym class when some kid threw the basketball real hard at me (another white boy who couldn’t jump.) My old man called the school and wanted to speak to the gym teacher to find out why he couldn’t supervise the kids and the gym teacher told him that I was a big baby or something. I had to cancel my music lessons, that was why my father had any idea that I hurt my hand in school. The gym teacher cocked off on the phone at him and so my father called the principal, who told him, “DE POSITIVE SIDE OF ALL DIS IS DAT MY SECWETAWWY HANDLED DE WHOLE T’ING BEAUTIFULLY.” I meanwhile was sent to an orthopedic doctor, my thumb hurt but I rode there on my bike. He x-rayed it and he said it was broken and he casted it in his office.
I got to wear a cast for 3 weeks, sit in the bleachers during gym, and get other wannabe hippies to roll my joints for me (shh don’t tell my old man, he still thinks I’m on drugs) and my old man got to have a big fight with the school.
One of the other gym teachers used to wear a toupee and wiggle it to make the kids laugh- he was a severe alcoholic- rumor has it, that he told some people at an AA meeting a number of years later that he liked to dress up in women’s clothes. Don’t believe those dumb jock idiots in the Phys Ed department are all as rough and tough and butch as they would like us to believe because they are NOT.
All of them were seriously alcoholic or burnt out when I was a kid in school- 1 of them died of lung cancer at age 30, how that happened I also do not know.
Absolutely! Then I’d show him a pair of my 6″ stillettos and tell him if he ever did anything like that again, he’d be getting kicked with them right in the groin. Then I’d smile and say “I’m glad we had this little chat.” and walk away.
This seems easy to me (I am a parent). First, I would NOT punch the coach, lol! However, you have already tried to contact him twice and he has not returned your calls. This is the time to call the principal. Teachers do not throw balls in the faces of their students. Period. Dot. Dash. You’re child does not risk being thrown off the team. It’s his coach who is at risk.
It is my guess this isn’t the first time this coach has gotten away with hurting a student. Had another student hit your son, that student would be suspended and probably kicked off the team. If you approach the coach without an administrator present, that is exactly what will happen. I would take pictures of my son’s face and consider filing assault charges against the coach. Even if your son wasn’t injured, the act alone intimidated the other players. Which is the wrong message.
My advice to you would be to schedule a meeting with one of the vice principals and the coach in the administrator’s office without your son or any student present. I would have your son write a statement as to what happened and people who witnessed it. During this meeting I would present a letter requesting a formal investigation into this event.
With over 100 comments I hope you see this before you meet with the coach. The way you handle this will set the tone for a favorable result of this situation. Good luck.
you sound like an asshole…in every entry. Are you serious?
I would talk to someone in higher authority, it is obvious that the coach didn’t have any feelings of guilt whatsoever for assaulting your son, I don’t think an upset parent is going to make the coach apologize or teach him to control his anger. I wouldn’t want my child playing on a team with a coach who throws basketballs at children’s faces. Maybe there are other teams your son could join? Or if you speak with a principal or whoever was in charge of hiring this coach, he might be fired and your child could still play without fear of getting physically punished again.
Some coaches are on a power trip…it is the whole “win at all cost” attitude…they forget that sports are suppose to be fun.
I would talk to the coach. If I didn’t feel that he understood that his actions were inappropriate, I’d go higher up. I don’t think my major concern would be whether or not my son would be kicked off the team as I don’t think I’d want my son exposed to someone who believes that sort of behavior is acceptable.
Absolutely. I’m not one to back down, therefore this is something I could never let pass. What your son’s coach did to him was disrespectful and discouraging. Way to be a good role model, coach. Great sportsmanship.
I would have followed the coach home by now.
Teach your son to not be a pussy and confront the coach himself. Life’s problems aren’t going to always be solved by mommy and daddy.
Call the school. They’ll ask the teammates to verify.
I have 2 grown sons and it’s best to let them solve their own problems. I would have told my son that you did the right thing by asking him,”why did you do that?”
teachers are human too and maybe he was having a bad day and maybe he will tell your son that.
what a jerkl! was your son paying attention? or not…. rude not to call you back. sorry to hear about this… that sucks….good luck dealing with it.
Wear a mask and jump him in the parking lot with your wife
that’s great, keep moving on that stage~
I think you discuss it with the coach first. (Assuming i had a kid) My kid wouldn’t run laps either, simple as that. If coach had a problem with that i’d go to the Superintendant (Sp?). No way would someone throw a basketball at my kid and my kid be punished for it. Coaches are bred different though. I think they come out of the womb with asshole tattooed on there forehead.
i’m commenting for the 2 eprops
Absolutely. Assaulting a child is not acceptable, no matter what the coach’s reason was. Keep trying to get in contact with the coach, even if it means showing up to practice and taking him aside. And definitely talk to your coach’s boss. No adult should get away with this kind of behavior.