January 4, 2012
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Telling a Child He/She is Fat
Say a child is gaining weight and a parent is getting concerned.
The parent tried to reduce the child’s food but it is difficult to control everything a child eats.
Should a parent ever tell a child he/she is getting fat?
Comments (87)
i honestly wouldn’t. i’d try to get them to be active and enter in more healthy, nutrient dense foods and snacks. more so lean towards teaching them what’s healthy and not, but i don’t think i could tell a child they were fat.
You can encourage them to go out and play with you. Play soccer or do something that involves a lot of running. This is why we should encourage children to play outside more, so they are more active and help reduce the chance of getting diabetes and becoming obese.
Maybe the problem isn’t so much food it’s the adults not setting a good example and or not teaching their kids no. My brother is a fat kid always has been my dad told him to stop eating bread when we’d go out to restaurants but my dad would eat bread. If a parent wants their kids to eat right they should do it too.
Calling anyone ‘fat’ can have terrible lasting effects. Showing a child a healthy lifestyle is a better way to handle such a situation. Teaching a child to exercise and eat right is what a parent SHOULD do, not call them fat and make them feel bad about themselves.
Overweight kids are told they’re fat by all the bullies at school. They don’t need to hear it from their parents.
I’d put that kid into as many sports as I possibly could. I bust my ass to maintain my fitness, and I’ll be damned if I let my kids turn out like that picture.
my father would call me fat and it ruined my self-esteem and self-confidence permanently for the rest of my life.
My dad called me fat. He made me exercise with him. I’m healthy. I’m not anorexic. I exercise regularly and eat healthy. *shrugs*
I think the whole family should change the lifestyle all the together when it comes to eating. It isn’t just portion control. Stop buying sweets soda’s etc. Instead of a snack option being chips or fries do some veggies. make some sweet potato fries. If all you give is unhealthy options for the child to eat then its your own fault they are unhealthy.
Anyway, lol that is how i feel. We don’t waste money on sweets and chips and junk food.
My neighbor once told me I was getting fat when I was about 8, now her youngest daughter is about twice my size. Haha
Being blunt like that could damage the kid and cause them to overeat more. I would just change their overall diet and sign them up for a sport. Parents supply the kids with the food and money, just try and make them understand that they’re looking over their health.
definitely wouldn’t say anything to him/her about his/her self-image. even a well intentioned comment can destroy a child’s confidence. and actions are stronger than words anyway.
I never did really look fat when I was young… sure I wasn’t skinny but it wasn’t because I ate wrong because my mom fed but… but she did tell me I was fat a lot… and to think about it, it still hurts… actually she still tells me… now I am but whatever!! It’s hurtful and it takes years to realize that maybe they don’t do it to hurt … but I never understood why she said it when it hurt the most and not at an appropriate time… oh well… We grow and deal with that sh*t!!
I think there are other ways of trying to explain what’s going on… any kid going through already an awkward phase in life can be overwhelmed. I was depressed for years on end…
But, parent’s shouldn’t… find a healthy way of explaining and helping the change. If it needs to be done, the whole household needs to change eating habit and exercise together not just the one person… They need support, not put downs.
My parents called me fat to the point where it was a nickname. But they never fed me a vegetable, not once. I was usually alone and left to my own devices and making butter and sugar sandwiches when I got hungry. And if my mom was home, all we ate was fried food with rice. It’s the parent’s responsibility for fattening their child like a Thanksgiving turkey and they need to take action instead of just feeding their child whatever crap they can get their hands on.
Mother, Y U NO GIVE ME VEGGIE?!
Not a parent. I would think I’d try to encourage my non existent child to engage in whatever physical activities they have yet to try to see if something sparks an interest. I would not let a doctor tell the kid he/she is fat, I’d think that would just make the child dislike the doctor but I also wouldn’t tell the child directly that they’re fat and something needs to happen or this could become a serious problem for you in the future if not already. I “might” spend some time doing community service with the child at a home for people with chronic illness, some of whom I’m sure have complications and conditions that resulted from being fat. Beyond teaching the child how to eat/live a sustainable healthy life I don’t see what else can be done (hell I don’t even know that THAT can be done, at least I haven’t figured it out yet). I think taunting or corporal punishment for a weight problem would be very wrong and I’d worry for the children of parents who would do that.
@FuhkAwf - I’d wonder how much of an effect tone has on children subjected to that sort of taunting.
No.. I was told I was fat when I was about 14.. by my aunt. And I ended up starving myself for weeks on end and losing a little weight.
When she finally noticed I was getting thinner, she said “Ohh your legs are starting to look a little less chunky.”
But I’m sure she wouldn’t say that to her own daughter, now..
I wouldn’t tell my daughter she was fat, because I would never LET my daughter or child get fat. EVER.
My dad used to make comments about my weight quite often when I was in those super-tender years (8 to 14 years old). He’s no small man himself, so it’s kind of a pot/kettle situation. However, guess which comments come to mind immediately when I think back on various stages of my life? Not his pride in me for any of my accomplishments, but the ones about my weight. I’d never do that to a child – it’s far more damaging than most people realize.
i’ve been called fat by my brother, mom and dad…. it’s hurtful especially since I’ve never really been “Fat” I think the largest I have ever been is 130 lbs and 5’3″ in 7th grade when I was growing. now I am about 12 lbs. lighter
Children nutrition is parents responsability, I don’t think kids should be worrying about their weight, adults should.
*flashbacks*
make the voices stop, mom…wait it was my mom’s voice… T_T
First, the parent should refuse to buy junk food. i live by myself and dont buy junk food. I buy one thing per week not on my list and that is it. It really is a lifestyle change. I am not the best at eating right but i am getitng better. Another hard thing is exercise. If you really want your kid to be healthy, they have to see you doing and living it to, othewrwise I dont really think it is going to work.
It’s not about “reducing the child’s food” necessarily, but having healthy options and that’s all they have to eat at home. The parents need to eat just as healthy as their child. I guarantee a child wouldn’t be getting fat on vegetables and lean protein.
no i don’t think they should! i also do not like this ad, they might want to tell them they are being unhealthy and if the child asks explain what fat is depending on the age of the child depends on how you tell them and what causes it. this is when as a parent you take the opportunity to explain moderation healthy eating ect. i work as a teacher and have dealt with this issue among my children teasing, name calling, and not just to students i am guilty of being unhealthy and have paid for it in my gut and they will also tease me which is corrected of course but no parent or teacher or even peers should call each other fat
No…
There’s a good way of making a child aware that living a healthy lifestyle will be beneficial in the long run.
I don’t think so. They probably already know it themselves, if their classmates or nurse hasn’t already pointed it out.
We were never overweight, but our mom never eats and tried to control our diets when we were kids. We still found ways to eat junk food, and when we did get a hold of it, we ate HUGE amounts of it because we were so excited about it. Also, when someone looks at you with shame when you’re eating, you tend to not eat around that person and instead take the food to your room or in private later, where you can eat as much as you want and not feel bad about it until after you’re stuffed. So, sometimes it can backfire.
If the person’s susceptible in any way, mixed with bullying which an overweight child is surely getting, telling a kid over and over again they’re fat could make them take things too far in the other direction, and become perpetually preoccupied with their weight and diet. I’ve met a bunch of people who are really skinny and obsessed with their body image, and they were all chubby in grade school.
If you’re, like, 100 lbs overweight, you might need to have a frank discussion, I guess. Other than at all of those other factors will say and do enough as it is.
How is it difficult to control what a child is eating if you’re buying the child’s food?
No, I don’t think it’s healthy to call your child fat. My mom constantly told me I was fat when I came home from college on the weekends during my freshman year. It made me loose a lot of self-confidence, and to this day, I still remember the hurt I felt. Not only from her, but from a bunch of my relatives, random strangers from my church (who thought it was really funny to say that I had gained weight and when I looked hurt, they’d tell me … it’s a good thing! you’re eating…). But I used that feeling of self-loathing to work out and loose the weight. My dad would comment on me getting heavier, but he only did it to remind me to be healthy. I think if you want to tell your child that he or she has been gaining weight, do it gently (and don’t be mean) and suggest them to exercise or better yet, play some fun activity with them that requires movement! Don’t give them fast food/soda. It really isn’t good for a child to loose his or her self-confidence. Calling him or her fat really does more damage than one can imagine.
Xanga has been about the New Year lately and the blogs that stick out are those of the party at Alex’ s. In five years I will love to see what happens, here are my predictions:
Alex: marries JoannasaidSo.
Timmy: Becomes a father by condom break with one of the asian chiks.
Btw, did Sony break up with Michelle? Moving on.
Shawn drifts apart, Alex starts his own life, Flip & Sony become best buds. Chicbananas divorces, and rents a place with Hellobianca and Affinity (I think she changed her username.)
What I find really fascinating about Alex’ s social life is, not one person is the center of attention, but rather, all the children are fighting to be a part of the group, what we have is a every man for himself, with some who feel closer to others. Phenomenal, it’s like noone really understands why they are there. Just gather fifty people in one spot and its officially a party. We all try to find an identity for ourselves, I guess Joanna is getting lonely in Canada.
Well, I am guilty of snooping into the lives of strangers, my cowardly way of dealing with life makes me a lesser man, but I wish I was a ghost so I could really see what is going on home to home.
Looking at your kid and saying “You are fat!” is obviously what you shouldn’t do. But, talking to your kid about eating healthy foods and starting to exercise with her/him is a good thing. Even if it’s just walking around the block several times.
The best thing my parents ever did for my weight and physical health was to set an example. They never pushed me to exercise, let alone called me “fat”–but they, themselves, exercised and ate right together. It was very effective to wake up each morning to see my mom finishing yoga/pilates in the living room while my dad was just coming in from an early-morning 10-miler. I gradually wanted to be more like them. I took up running, yoga, pilates, and began mimicking my mom’s eating habits almost without realizing it. It wasn’t until looking back, 30 pounds lighter, that I realized the immensely positive impact their self-control had on me. Now I regularly go to the gym, eat with optimum nutrition in mind and have a body I can be proud of.
Children do imitate and reflect the habits of their parents..whether we wish them to or not.
No. They should not be concerned with weight at a young age. Feed them healthier and do family activities. Obviously if your child is fat you aren’t feeding them properly. No need to make an everlasting effect on self esteem when the parent is to blame.
The girl in the picture is about the same size as my niece. I don’t think anyone has ever called her fat but no one is really helping her either. The whole family talks about how to help her but I don’t think a single thing has been done to help her get to a healthy weight.
“It’s difficult” to control what a child eats? Is that the excuse parents are using? I think they mean “It’s difficult to watch what I eat”.
Parents can control what is in the house, and should be making at least breakfast and dinner for their child, and all meals on the weekends. I guess I can see how they couldn’t be certain what their kids are getting at school, if they are trading for other kids’ stuff, but even if that’s true, one meal a day wouldn’t be enough to cause a weight problem if the home kitchen was good.
What they should say is, “I’m fat. I need to watch what I eat. We aren’t having candy any more because it’s bad for everyone.”.
eat healthy yourself and they will,too.
No, dont tell them they are fat, put exercise in to their schedule, get them involved in sports. My dad would alwyas tell me I needed to diet, or should i be eating that, or are you eating again. He left a permanant scar on me. Later I realized i was a little on the heavy side, but by no means fat.
We ate healthy, no junk foods and not much fried foods, but I was very inactive. I had three brothers and they put them all in sports, and when i asked they didnt want to or couldnt afford it. So they didn’t encourage the activity.
Today, i am fat, and dad still makes me overly concious about it. And I’m always trying to diet. It took getting married to a man who thinks I’m beautiful and not fat at all to make me feel better about myself.
So yeah, telling a kid they are fat, can have a damaging effect on them, better to initiate lots of sports and activity.
PS, my kids were brought up around junk food (i think i bought it because my parents never allowed it), and both of my sons are thin. One eats junk food all the time, the other likes to eat healthy and doesnt care for junk food.
I tell my booboo all the time that he’s turning into a chunky monkey because my parents are overfeeding him. Urgh. But I love him so much and he’s so adorable (momma will fix this weight issue when he’s a lilo older and grandma isn’t spoiling him rotten
).
When I was younger, my parents would feed me constantly, but then say it’s disturbing how fat I was. I wish they had explained that I wouldn’t want to be fat in the future, I would’ve understood that much better… It’s important to remain loving/optimistic when trying to control their eating habits or they’ll eat more (at least, that’s what happened to me).
Calling a kid fat doesn’t usually help. My sister was always a chubby kid, and my parents tried all the roundabout ways…trying to hint she should eat less, trying to get her involved in physical activity…none of it has worked. She’s almost 20 years old now and probably weighs about 300 pounds. I cook dinner most nights, and I purposely make smaller amounts so she CAN’T eat a lot, so instead she gets her boyfriend to buy her KFC, Taco Bell, and White Castle. She has a membership to a really nice gym, my parents pay $50 a month for it, but she doesn’t go. However, she’s certainly been called fat for years by kids at school, and it hasn’t exactly motivated her to lose weight. So, I wouldn’t call her fat or encourage my parents to do so, because it won’t help, it’ll just make her upset. She believes she is healthy and is absolutely delusional about her size (she thinks she’s way smaller than she is), and the only thing that’s going to wake her up is being diagnosed with diabetes or heart disease. If people can’t take a hint when they’re encouraged to eat better and exercise, they’ll probably only learn the hard way.
No, I do not think a parent should tell their child they are fat. I also don’t think a parent should tell their child they are short, tall, dumb, or a host of other descriptive words that can and do scar a child for life. Being a good parent means setting up good eating habits, along with praise versus ridicule.
My dad called me fat once when I was a kid. Now I think I’m fat even if I’m not. I struggle with my weight and won’t eat if it goes above a certain number.
I think it’s a terrible thing for a parent to tell their child he/she is fat. I’ve had weight issues my whole life and my family has attacked me about it since I was young. I had everything from well meaning comments to straight out insults. Unfortunately, my father still insults me over my weight. Luckily for me, I’m a grown up now and I simply tell him “my body is my business, and mine alone. It’s fine if you care about me but health is my decision.” The ironic thing is, my father is extremely underweight, drinks to excess every night, and pratically chain smokes, even though he’s been told if he continues he’ll die. His doctor said if he ran on a treadmill he would drop dead, yet I work out at the gym 3x a week -_-. I’ve also started eating better but that’s for myself and the people in my life that love me and show it in other ways rather than insulting me about my weight. If I were a parent of an overweight child, I would hold myself accountable and make sure the meals I provided were healthy, and that we get lots of excersise as a family.
As an above commenter mentioned, overweight children are teased enough in school (I certainly was) and what they need is a parent who will show them how to be healthy, yet love them and build up their self esteem as the same time. If they do what my family did, it really takes its toll and the child will have to work extra hard as an adult to become healthy and have a strong self esteem. /:
If the kid asks then yes otherwise you are just lying to them and that is just as bad. But should you go up to them and just blurt out – “You’re fat” or “You’re getting fat” or “You need to do something about your weight”. Absolutely not. You cannot control what your child eats but you can set a good example by making healthy lifestyle choices yourself. Lead by example!
It’s equivalent to calling a child “stupid”. Get together as a family and become more active, eat better and quit going out to McDs for meals…
@SHEERROSE - How interesting that you said this… I’ve always struggled with my weight, and I’ll never forget how one time, we were at a restaurant when I was 10ish… and after a piece of bread, my mom tried to stop me from having more, the implication being that I was fat. I was sad… my mom got pushy/angry with me and my dad stepped in and growled, “It’s really difficult to tell her to stop eating bread when everyone is at the table is eating BREAD!” touche’ dad… I was glad that he understood. But yeah, my mom has really hurt me growing up in regards to my weight.
@FuhkAwf - I’m totally with you HERE too… As I said above ^^^ my weight has been an issue my entire life, and I honestly believe that some of the “tactics” that my mother took only made it “worse”… She never seemed to realize that I was eating the food that was in “HER” house… and that just because she didn’t gain weight from the same food, apparently, I did. She always thought that I was fat and lazy, and eating behind her back I think (which I never was) to this DAY I eat WAY better than she does, and yet, I’m a fatty… It’s just our different metabolisms… but her words/personal problems have always had an effect on me that was not good. I recieved a dress for my thirteenth bday (my first teenage dress) and she commented about my stomach in it… i never wore it again. In fact, I didn’t even wear it out that night.
Introduce them to fitness, if you use workout videos, encourage them to join you. Get them involved in sports or dance. Work out with them and buy them toys that require being active. My parents limited my TV to just 3 hours a day and we didn’t have internet. I wasn’t technically overweight except one year and I was extremely active. I played basketball, soccer, t-ball and baseball on teams and then I played everything else just with my dad or with friends. I was also in cheerleading for a little bit and gymnastics but didn’t stay with those for even a season. Be willing to pay for them to do any sports they are wanting to do and encourage them to practice until the sun sets (or later if you don’t have the in before dark rule). NEVER tell a little girl especially that she is fat. On the lighter side, that can lead to low self esteem, on the worst case, it can lead to a lifetime of dieting and even anorexia or bulimia.
My mom told me I was fat and I wanted to kill myself.
It is important to cultivate thinspo from an early age. The younger the inculcation, the deeper the psychosis.
My mom made sure I never heard the end of it while I was growing up. Needless to say, it definitely fucked me up in the long term. My self-esteem was brought down to shit.
So no. Don’t tell your goddamn kids that they’re too fat unless you want a social outcast as a result.
Parents need to look out for the health of their children. Being overweight is not as healthy as being physically fit. So it just seems right and proper for parents to lovingly and gently guide and teach their children.
I don’t really know.
Kids hear that enough. Fatness should never be the point. Health should be the point. Funny how if kids grow up in a healthy emotional and physical environment they tend not to be fat anyways…can’t say it’s only the kids’ fault.
No matter how candy coated you try to tell a child he/she’s fat, it’ll kill their self esteem.
I was a rather thin/normal child, but I always thought I was fat, as many kids do (fat or not). But I didn’t know or understand anything about healthy nutritition (I honestly thought the only way to get thinner was “as the anorexics do” and eat nothing but an apple a day or something) and I am pretty certain that applies to most kids too (and adults as well).
My answer is NO; They should watch their child’s behaviour and help them doing the right thing, for example by buying healthy foods that they can eat, engaging in outdoors activities with them, help them discover a sport they like, buying games (such as wii) that require movement and so on, instead of leaving them alone, feeling helpless and horrible with such a mean statement. (probabaly what the advertisement wants to say). I don’t think they should make any negative comments about the way they look. Looks are overrated anyway, contrary to health. If ‘fat’ is an adequate word depends on the general tone in the family…in my family that clearly is an insult.
P.S.: have you posted this before? I feel like I have a deja-vu. Or someone else did.
I wouldn’t, but I would try to get them involved in sports and keep only healthy food around the house.
@Lordv16 - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You’re kidding, aren’t you? Answer: extremely difficult. I could buy absolutely *nothing* and my kids could survive on the snacks, treats, Gatorade and pizza they get at school, friends’ houses, sports practices, church…I could buy absolutely *nothing* and lock them in their bedrooms and homeschool by passing them notes under the door and then I could probably control their diets.
I think it’s very funny that so many people think kids are fat because parents don’t control their diets. Funny and mystifying. Thinking back to being a kid, I ate a lot of stuff without my parents’ permission or help, particularly the older I got and the more time I spent away from them. I think in high school I ate Nutty Bars and Diet Coke for lunch for 4 straight years. School…church…sports “snacks”…vending machines…friends’ houses…the world is full of places where kids starting at age 7 or 8 can eat or drink a lot of calories away from their parents. For a kid who weighs 75 pounds an extra 300 calories a day can make a huge difference. Even more so than when I grew up, our schools and activities are filled with snacks and donuts and pizzas…you can’t go to a birthday party for a kid aged 4 to 10 without seeing a Dominos pizza. Parents of kids who are thin see nothing wrong with this. Parents of kids who gain weight are fighting a difficult battle. My three kids aren’t fat but they are gluten-free and they *constantly* have to turn down food. It’s amazing how much eating is done away from parents for kids. It’s amazing how often kids are fed and how much junk food they are offered by adults outside their own family.
You NEVER fucking tell a child they’re fat. I used to be a chunky kid, and I turned into a chunky adult after constantly hearing how “fat” I was from my loved ones and being brought to nutrtionalist after nutritionalist with no luck. I have now lost 120 pounds after going to an endocrinologist and finding out what the problem was. SO many children are overweight due to hormonal imbalances and/or various syndromes. If I had a child who was overweight, and diet did not do much, I’d bring them to a pediatrician and get them tested for Cushing’s Syndrome, PCOS, a thyroid problem, or any tumors on the adrenal glands. People don’t realize how much weight has to do with medical conditions. I’m not saying most overweight people don’t eat horribly, cause a lot of it is in fact eating habits, HOWEVER these disorders make many people/children crave bad foods in large amounts. Since I’ve been on hormones and Metformin for PCOS, I have gone from 260 pounds to 135. So yeah, for me, it’s evidence based.
@ordinarybutloud - Of course they can get something somewhere else, I know I did. But I also wasn’t binge eating at the friends house or at the cafeteria since the majority of my diet came from what my parents provided for me.
No need. Peers will do it for them. Children are, for better or worse, more or less dependent on their parents. If you cook healthier food, the child will eat it, and gently getting the kid involved in sports and such is a great way for him/her to meet people and have fun, as well as get healthy. People see weight loss as the goal, when in reality it is–and SHOULD BE–a side effect.
@Lordv16 - sorry…I really did think you were kidding and then realized you weren’t. Yes, if you’re 75 pounds and 9 years old you don’t have to binge eat to steadily gain weight. An extra Reeses peanut butter cup and a 16 ounce Gatorade at soccer practice every day will do it. Or a couple of chocolate milks at the cafeteria and a snack pack of Cheetos at your friend’s house = about 350 extra calories. When I had my kids I was shocked at how much junk food surrounds them. It’s shocking. It doesn’t take much junk food to pack on extra pounds if you’re 3 foot 11 inches tall.
@ordinarybutloud - Well, I guess we just have a different way of handling children.
@Lordv16 - How’s that?
Yes. Kick that childs butt.
Why would you ever want to tell anyone they are fat? Kids aren’t dumb! Most people know when they are fat!
It’s kinda like telling someone they ask dumb questions! Why would you ever want to do that? They probably already know they ask dumb questions! And if they don’t, telling them so won’t help anything!
Yes, of course. Just like when your son starts playing with your daughter’s dolls. At a certain point you need to step in and tell him he’s being a fag.
Right. I still remember my dad calling me Thunder Thighs when I was 13. It obviously did not help.
No, never! Feed them healthier food, stop buying them fast food, fix the issues that are your fault as a parent. Then go from there, but never tell them they are fat. My daughter put on some weight, she is a competitive roller skater who has competed at the U.S. Nationals and I’ve talked to her about all the junk food she eats. That’s how you do it, don’t tell them they are getting fat or are fat. She wasn’t getting fat by any measure, but did put on a bit of weight and it had to do with all the junk food she was eating (at school or because her dad bought it).
Growing up, I don’t recall my parents calling me fat but I always knew I was overweight. They also have weight issues and constantly they would claim we would be going on a diet. We either never would or it would last a few days and then we all would pig out on food. Down the road, it’s led to many issues for me. I think parents really need to care more and should get healthy before they decide to have kids. It just seems it would be much easier then.
@saintvi - I totally agree with you
Stop tiptoe-ing around your child. If the parent, are giving them unhealthy food, then there’s no point in telling the child he/she’s fat, because the parent is making them that way.
If a child is getting large, exceedingly worryingly large, then yes. Point it out. The child is fat. Not saying the child isn’t fat is not helping anyone. It doesn’t make the child ‘not-fat’. The child is fat. It’s a fact. But don’t just point and say “OMG you’re so fat, fatty fat fat!” That seems to be what’s happened to many commenters. There’s no point in making fun of the child. He/She feels bad about it without having someone else make fun of him/her.
You tell the child that yes, he/she is fat, and he/she needs to do something about it. And as the parent, you then enforce exercise regimens on that child. If could be going for an hour’s walk together. It could be bicycling around the park. It could be going with them to the gym. It can be any form of exercise, as long as you’re doing it with them. Children need that push, that discipline from an adult.
My mother has always been honest about my weight. When I’m a good weight, she tells me. When I let myself go (and I know I’ve let myself go), she’s quick to point it out to me, and yes, she called me fat. But I was fat! That would get me to start paying attention to what I ate, and to ensure that I got back into exercising. I never felt the need to be super unhealthily thin because of her comment. It simply made me want to take control of my habits and get down to a healthy weight.
The problem I’m seeing is that some parents simply use the word ‘fat’ to hurt their children. That shouldn’t be the case, and in cases where the parent truly cares, it is not the case. My mother has never called me fat out of anger, or with any intention to lower my self-esteem. It’s a simple statement that says, ‘I’m looking out for you. Let’s handle this before it goes too far. I love you enough to tell you the truth, even if it hurts.’
never
If a child is obese as a consequence of poor eating habits, it is the direct result of ignorant parents. The food industry is a business. It is not a business based in ethics. Once (weak and barely safe) federal standards are met, then food manufacturers unashamedly produce products that make the consumer WANT TO CONSUME. That includes additives such as CORN SYRUP. An ingredient sold to the public as “a harmless sugar that adds flavor to your foods.” Corn syrup has the side effect of making the consumer hungry, so that even though he has eaten an excessive calorie meal, he is not satisfied. He wants more food. Taken in sufficient quantities, corn syrup will cause the same debilitating liver disease as does excessive alcohol consumption. Ignorant parents also train the obese child to rely upon meat products for essential protein. The truth is, plant based protein (nuts, legumes) contain a far superior protein, minus the saturated fat which is a killer to all humans. Once children become accustomed to a plant rich diet, limiting meat consumption to mostly turkey and chicken (never bacon) and sometimes beef, a few times a week (not daily). They will crave these healthy foods and select them on their own. The solution to obese children? The nutritional education of the parents.
My ex-husband constantly criticizes our daughter’s weight. The thing he doesn’t understand, even though I have explained it to him multiple times, is that she has not hit puberty yet and as soon as she does she is going to fill out in all the womanly areas and her weight will disperse accordingly. She is not even overweight according to her pediatrician! It is that she is a little thicker in the middle but looks that way due to lack of curves.
Our daughter is afraid to eat anything in front of my ex and is constantly aware that he is judging her appearance. He is going to judge her right into an eating disorder.
Yes and no. At age thirteen I was chubby. I had an apendectomy and lost weight and also learned to eat differently. When I came home, my folks thought I was too thin and encouraged me to eat more. I could have avoided a lot of unhappiness had they not done that.
No, the parent should be watching what the child eats to begin with.. it’s their fault I tell ya.
No. Let them know they need to eat healthy foods, discourage snacking on the wrong foods, encourage activity, and BE AN EXAMPLE for them. Let their doctor talk to them about being overweight and health issues it can cause (with the parent in the room.) I think it’s less damaging if it comes from a doctor than from a parent.
Ok no filter here! I welcome the bashing
after I leave this comment. I have 4 children NONE are over weight. In fact you
can’t find hardly any sweets in the house. What you do find is fruits. I believe
the best place to start is home. I wasn’t one of those no you can’t have sugar
or candy type of parents but I did limit them. Video games not so much. We are
an outdoors family. In fact my kids are limited on the amount of toys they can
have because why. We spend much of our time LIVING. Riding bikes at skate parks
anywhere we can move and run and play. We live in Texas where the weather can
be brutally hot in the summer HOWEVER we also have pools. I’ve had people
accuse my kids of being too skinny. Nope their Doctor says they have perfect
BMI and the problem is society has become accustomed to children being chubby
that when there is a normal size child that child looks underfed. I guess for
me I don’t even see who a child can get fat if we the parents are in control
and set the standard anyway. My kids go to school guess what I even get to see
what they eat. They get tray lunchs and on Fridays are allowed their snack a
sweet of their choice. I know I sound like a freakin crazy mother but my older
boys who don’t live with me have no issues with weight and still eat very
healthy.
My mom told me a bunch of times before I was getting big. I asked her to stop, but seriously, the country she comes from in Asia, everybody calls each other fat all the time. You go in to get a dress made and the tailor will flat out say “Oh you’ve gained some chub here.” while she pinches at your stomach. It’s the way of life. I think people probably have tougher skin over there. Over here in America you have to be a lot more delicate with words.
My mom told me that, and honestly it just made it worse. Way to shit on my self esteem. I don’t think parents should ever call their children fat. If I was in that situation, I would sit down and talk to them about health and the like. No way in fuck I would tell my kid they were fat. Insulting your children will not help them. Kids get bullied enough a school when they are different from other kids, they sure as hell don’t need to come home to it.
I don’t think any parent should call their child fat.
don’t fucking do it. teach them by example, and through encouragement. you can fuck a person’s world up if you don’t handle it appropriately.
My dad called my sister “Sheryl The Barrel.” But, my dad was the one who was the king and ruler over what food was purchased for family meals. He has had 2 heart attacks and 2 bypass surgeries because he always ate high fat / high sugar food. I don’t remember seeing him exercise even once for the entire 17 years that I lived there. He was a lazy-ass with no ambition or desire to put in the efforts to ensure that his family suceeded. (But he was AWESOME at watching football on TV). My dad is only alive still because somehow the doctors kept getting to him in time. And shitloads of the money spent on his nitroglycerine tablets and his operations comes at tax payer expense. (Retired military.)
My mother, being too passive to demand a healthier way, also had a heart attack and recently was seen by a doctor to determine if they needed to operate on the arteries of her neck. She also got diabetes 2. My sister … heart attack … no mate ever (unless you count Jesus) … and lives with a dog. Most of my relatives are (or were because they are dead now) of the same lifestyle.
I wored size husky for a few of my childhood years. Ultimately, I was the only one to escape the fatness fate because I moved 2000 miles away from my gravy bread dealing dad and my cookie / kool aid dealing relatives. Being an extremely “This Unit Must Survive” kind of guy, I put energy into exercise and into finding the knowledge required for healthy living. I escaped the family and extended family curse.
I don’t think that it is wrong to tell your child that he or she is getting fat. But if you do, you better share in the blame and you better have researched a solution and be ready to make the sacrifices required to be the good example.
Guess it all depends on their age, but I would start by just watching what they eat and make sure they are living a healthy lifestyle, you cant control everything.
The last thing you want to say to them is that they’re getting fat. I was a chunky child – not morbidly obese or anything like that – and my parents always made a much bigger deal about it than necessary, especially my father. My mother told me I would be pretty if I wasn’t so fat and my father, well, he would get angry and complain any time I ate something or even if he saw me in the kitchen. It caused me to try becoming anorexic in my teen years and I would look at people suffering anorexia with a longing and a bit of jealousy. It was a terrible point in my life adn I’m glad I’m not living in it anymore.
No, that’s not a productive thing to do.
Let’s go for a walk!- is a better approach.
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