January 8, 2012
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Afraid to Die
I spent the bulk of my childhood afraid that I would die.
I was in constant fear of nuclear war. I was afraid of tornadoes. I had constant dreams related to both when I was under 12 years old. I always had a sense when I was young that I was going to die young.
Are you afraid to die?
Comments (103)
Nope I have never been afraid to die and it’s quite disturbing because I have plenty of reasons to want to stay alive : it’s not that I want to die but apparently I don’t care much either.
I don’t think so, but who knows how I’ll feel when the time comes. My dad’s illness and death actually took away much of my fear of dying.
Before I had my children I didn’t fear death. I tried to make it come faster… :/
Now it scares me sometimes and I have terrible anxiety attacks.
Yes I did as a child and still do now. Now my daughter feels like she will die young. I need a spiritual deep cleansing in my home. We are under attack. I am scared.
FUCK TORNADOES. FUCK SPIDERS. FUCK HEIGHTS. FUCK PLANES. Erm… no.. I’m not afraid of anything?? D=
I had/still have dreams similar to yours just with some extras
ie: flaming fireballs.
people who are afraid to die are afraid to live. embrace life! death is already certain. make the most of life!
Hmm, as a kid I never really thought about it much. Except whenever I watched the “My Girl” movies. And then when I was 12 I had cousins die (ages 8 months, 2 years, 4 years & on his 16th birthday plus their mom – in an intentionally set fire where nobody was ever imprisoned) at young ages. That was really hard for me. Although I never worried about death myself.
Now that I’m 30 – I have to admit I fear old age because then you just KNOW what’s coming not too long later. I can’t imagine how that would feel.
I’m more afraid of living in a world that is going to pieces
I watched the movie adaptation of “Tuck Everlasting” this evening, and it talked a lot about death/living. (I wish I had read the book when I had used to own it, because I really enjoyed the movie.)
I don’t think I’m afraid to die. I wonder about how I might die and if I will feel pain as I die, but I am not afraid of it.
I’m not afraid of dying, but that’s mostly because I hate my life. There’s a little bit of “learned helplessness” there as well. Being an Atheist sucks.
When I was a little kid and when I used to be happy at times I was also afraid to die. I remember when I was like, 3 years old and at preschool someone insisted that everyone dies, and then when I went home I made my mommy promise that we would both fly away somewhere we could escape death.
@Cestovatelka - LOOOVE the story AND the movie.
Not at all…. but not quite ready yet…
We’re all getting closer to death each day anyway. XD
I’m more afraid of suffering. It annoys me that I haven’t used my time on earth better, but it’s been a good life, and I look forward to the next.
Dying per se is meaningless. But dying for a cause is meaningful I am not afraid of dying if it is for a meaningful cause.
I’m not afraid to die. My greatest fear is that no one will miss me or care and that I will die alone.
@DrummingMediocrity - OMG I cried at the end when he was at her gravestone!
I thought the movie was going to be kinda lame since it was airing on a cruddy channel, but I was hooked the entire movie. I don’t know how close it is to the book, but the movie was good.
I might borrow the book from my library next week and read it. I now deeply regret giving that book away this summer without having read it.
@Cestovatelka - It matches very well actually. I was surprised how good the book was. I read it in my 6th grade Reading class, so I promise it won’t be a hard read.
Of course the book is still better than the movie, just because it invokes so much more imagination. You’ll love it.
hmmm, am i afraid to die? it funny (or maybe frightening) how many times i’ve rolled that question around in my head during my really low and lonely points. a part of me really does look forward to the eternal sleep aspect (naturally, considering how much of an escapist i am). i have definitely seriously considered dying and thought of ways to do it.though i can’t say that i’ve ever looked death right in the face, or even been close to someone who then died. i’ve also done lots of reckless/dangerous drugs, self-harmed, other ways of kind of dancing on the line of mortality. though i must say that human fragility DOES scare me. i’m terrified of getting into a car accident, having been in one once before. as a result i’m a VERY skittish passenger. i’m afraid of losing my parents in that way. i used to be way more afraid, choosing certain activities based on which had a lesser chance of killing my mom or i. i used to cry when my (now ex)boyfriend would leave, wondering if i would ever see him again…every single time he left.
@DrummingMediocrity - Awesome! Thank you so much for the review.
Yes, and no. I am afraid of who I will leave behind, same as when growing up. I deal with severe depression everyday of my life it seems and death seems nice in that way. I have attempted suicide by jumping off a bridge, so in that way I am not afraid of dying.
Some of the comments above also made me think; I’m much more afraid of staying alive amid serious acquired disabilities such that would leave me dependent upon other people, particularly mentally. Like, if I get a brain tumor or I live long enough to become senile, I sincerely want to be euthanized. If i am alone by the time I retire (if that’s even feasible by the time my generation hits retirement age), I will probably just off myself. Not necessarily in a “woe is me im suicidal” type of way, but because I see it as better than the alternative of being a tax burden and degrading into a helpless retard.
I really think that people are protected from the fear of dying. Otherwise we would be scared all the time because death is always imminent…
Well first off – I love to live – lets be clear about that – for starters.
I am not afraid of being dead – that’s next.
Now the process of dying can be a tremendously different process for different people. The process of dying occurs while we are still alive.
I do not know what to say about the people who claim they are not afraid of the process. The process is often – but not always – accompanied by unspeakable pain.
Avoiding death is built into the nature of being alive.
I think a lot of people here are lying about how they feel about dying. Or perhaps they are just in denial or wanting to look cool.
Not at all. Although I hope it doesn’t happen for a very long time. I am just beginning to really live my life. So I am hopeful my Maker will allow me to be for a good many years yet. My Father is 96. His Father lived to be 102. My Mothers Mother lived to be 104. I would only want to live to that age should I remain in good health and have all my facilities. But then, I believe I will be called home when it is time. Until then, I intend to live each day with gusto!
For the most part, I don’t think about it often, and I wouldn’t say that I’m terrified. But every so often I have a dream where I die, often in a horrific accident, or sometimes I am murdered. Just at the moment that I am dying, and I feel my spirit or soul pulling away from my body, I wake up.
At first these types of dreams scared the living shit out of me, because it was very weird, and it made me wonder how connected the spirit is to the body, and how quickly life might end. I wondered if they were prophetic (although I’ve never had prophetic dreams before) and I was afraid to sleep for a while. Eventually, I would calm down and forget about it, until another dream occurred. Nowadays, it still freaks me out and I think about it for a few days, but I don’t wake up terrified the way I used to. I just feel creeped out. I don’t know why my brain does this to me.
I am not sure if I fear it. I feel discomfort about it. It actually pisses me off. I dont like the idea I have to do anything, I hate the idea I have to breath, eat, sleep and dying…. dying just pissed me off to no extent.
No, because death is just the end. Why fear the end?
what if I am already dead?
i always used to think i was going to die. seeing lion king, i had nightmares about cliffs. i read a book about tornadoes, i was terrified of tornadoes. (they pretty much… NEVER happen in NJ lol) i used to think i might drown, or die in a car crash. to this day i have dreams about apocalypses, but i’m no longer really afraid of it. but i was definitely convinced i would die young. ALSO: thing they don’t teach kids about puberty – boobs HURT a lot before/during when they grow in lol. i was afraid to tell my parents, but i was convinced i had breast cancer at 11 years old. LOL
as long as I go out painlessly, then no. Getting pulverized by railgun aimed directly at my brains seems like a good way to go out.
Not really. I’m not saying that to sound macho either. There are days where I just can’t bare living. Which is why when my day comes I will welcome it with open arms. Of course there are things I’d like to do before that day came. Like get married, lose my virginity, and create a whole happy family.
I had a dream yesterday my sister put a knife to my throat. I think the reason we do not kill each other is because of God’ s grace, and without His grace, we would be killing each other. I think Satan is after me, why else would he give me such a hideous dream, I think it’s a warning, Satan wants to use the bad people to cold bloodedly murder the good. I am not afraid to die, but, I am afraid of the thought of dying, because once I am dead, my body will become a soulless waste of corpse. So many have died before me, my death is no less painful or tragic. The thought of being thrown into a lion’ s den is frightening, if it happens I’ll be dead in seconds, like the turning off of a candle.
I am not afraid of death at all. I await it eagerly, in fact. What use is there in fearing the inevitable?
I was more afraid of my mother dying.
There were times that I was terrified of dying but, strangely enough, I was more terrified of my parents dying while I was somewhere else (at a friend’s house or with my grandparents). My fear of my parents dying made me wish that I would die before them, so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain it would cause to lose them. Selfish, right? I know…So I was scared of death, but the fear of my parents dying scared me more than my own death. I’d rather die than live forever though.
Afraid of the method perhaps. Conveniently I’ve lately been terrified of tornadoes….
Death, I do not fear as it will merely end and I won’t be able to care. But if it involves, say, being carried away by a tornado, then yes, yes I am.
I don’t know about being afraid of death, just how it comes to me.
Not particularly. It’s a natural part of life that everyone has to do eventually. I’d just rather not die anytime soon.
I think everyone is afraid to die. Now if it’s a big fear or a teeny fear… but we all fear the unknown… some of us more of an unknown of HOW we’re going to die.
I feel like I know where I’m going to go, but, I don’t know all that I will see/experience/fear… so that is a bit frightening… but, I actually think it’ll be kind of exciting to get older and die.
Only for what i’ll miss out on.
No. And sometimes when I see how this world is going, I can’t wait for it.
Not really, more like afraid of whatever pain may accompany death.
As much as I’ve wished for it and wanted to kill myself in the past, I think if somebody was about to push me off a cliff to my death I would still feel a flash of fear before I died. Or if I was lying on train tracks, as the train came toward me I think I would be afraid those last few moments.
But it helps that I don’t believe in anything like heaven or hell. Death can’t be too bad when you don’t know you’re dead at all.
I am definitely way more afraid of other people dying than myself. Like, if they leave for the store and I start wondering if this will be the day they die, and then picture the entire scenario. That is scary.
I enjoy and treasure each day of life I am given. Every day above ground is a blessing. I am not afraid to die because I know I am going to a place much better than the one I am leaving. My fear is for those I would, and someday will be leaving behind in this messed up world.
The way I will die concerns me but not the passing to the other side part at all.
I’m not afraid of death, just the horrible pain associated with the act of dying.
I still am to a degree. I’m more scared (or unsure?) of what happens after death.
Not really…but i’m afraid my beloved ones will die
Your post provoked this quote, “I’ve rather die on my feet than to live on my knee’s”
I always thought the clouds would suffocate me. Never happened. Still waiting, but I’m preeeeetty sure it’ll happen.
I’m not su much afraid of dying but more of dying alone. I’ve always been afraid of that.
What scares me the most is becoming nothing. Late at night, usually anytime Im kentucky, I think about how one day Ill never get to do any of the things I’ve always done. One day I will wake up and I’ll be bedridden (with my luck). I won’t be able to do the things I love and most of all, I’m scarred Janssen won’t be by my side. But I’m also scarred of the day I wake up, bedridden, when it finally hits me that I will die soon. I’ll be old, alone and terrified. And now I think to myself, “Won’t I miss the good old days when I’m dead.” And then I realize, no because I will be nothing. I will cease to exist and nobody will remember me. Not existing is what scares me. Not being remembered.
I was always afraid of being murdered. I used to duck underneath my windows for fear of being sniped through them. I still sometimes worry that I will wake up to one of my family members dead. Myself? I’m not too afraid of death, though I’m sure when the time comes, I will be afraid.
Eh, no reason to fear the inevitable.
I wasn’t afraid to die until I had my daughter. I can’t imagine not being there for her… that’s the only thing about dying that scares me.
everyone is going to die, so I just take every day as it is
I’m not afraid of death itself, I’m more afraid of the process leading up to the cessation of life.
People who aren’t afraid of death aren’t really living.
@Baseballchik138 - Being bedridden in Kentucky is truly a fate worse than death.
No I did a work placement in a funeral directors (NVQ IT qualification) we got sent to various companies by our training provider.
I am more worried about the dentist and going on a date.
As long as I get to see everyone who disappointed the fuck out of me die first. Then I can peacefully.
I don’t care any more.
I do not
want
to die, but it will happen. My faith helps a lot but I think just about everything that is alive wants to stay that way. Who knows how I’ll act when it happens. Hopefully it won’t be painful or terrifying…
I have an admittedly irrational fear of dying before my children are all grown and able to take care of themselves. I definitely affects choices that I make.
@Benjamin888 - Oh…the lulz!
I had tornado dreams when I was in my twenties after my mental illness blew up. Part of me wants to die half of the time while the other doesn’t. I have tried to kill myself 4 times, so I don’t know if I am afraid or not.
Hahaha, did you see the post I did last week? As a child, I was irrationally afraid of dying from leprosy, or the plauge, or spontaneous human combustion, or a viking attack.
Now, I don’t fear dying so much as I fear pain. The idea of ceasing to exist anymore is depressing to me, because there is so much I still want to do, but let’s face it, if I die, I’m no longer going to have an opinion on the matter. So all it really comes down to is that if I have to go, I want to go peacefully. Or, if I have to go violently, I would prefer that it be instantaneous.
Yup
NO
I have No fears , I believe we go on after we die. our essence it still there, our personality intact. I feel so There fore I know that my higher power has my back !
Good post today Dan.
no, not now but I’ve lived a life now.
I remeber being afraid of the Russians coming; the nuns would say,”what would you do if they came to our class room right now and asked you if you believed in God?” Then a boy would say,”I would lie and say I didn’t and then I would infilitrate their camp ….” So that made me feel better.
I used to be. When I was under the age of 10, I was terrified of dying. I would have panic attacks when I actually thought about dying. I wanted to die, eventually, but I was really scared of dying before I was ready. Since my near-death experience, however, I am over that. Now, I view each day as a gift, and try to make the most of it.
Personally, I’m not afraid of death itself. I worry about those I’ll leave behind.
Since my brother was born, I’ve been dedicated to him and we are very close to each other. I’ve spent nights thinking how would his life turn out if I were to die and I can tell you this, I’ve cried my heart and eyes out.
I’d feel sorry for my mom, dad, brother, grandma, aunt, my two cousins. I feel as if I can do something for them while I’m alive, in case it’s needed, but if I’d be dead I worry what will happen with them.
Quite weird, I think.
I am not afraid to die, I am afraid however of not doing enough for mankind..Don’t want to leave unless I can help many..
23I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; 24but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.
(Phil 1:23-24)
@sometimestheycomebackanyway - It would be! I’m grateful I’m only there one week out of all entire year.
I do not spend much time thinking about death, so I spend little time fearing it. But hell yes I want to live, but the fear of death I give it rare thought. Like when someone cuts me off on the freeway
I think being dead would be okay, since I won’t know I’m dead. It’s the dying part that’s scary. I see old, frail people in the doctor’s office and other places and it scares me to think that I will be them someday. I hope I get killed by an explosion or something. I certainly hope that I die before my husband. Don’t know what the point of living would be if I didn’t have him.
I don’t want to die but I am not afraid.
no. it’s your time when it’s your time. But if i were a soldier in war, who knows.
Yes, I work at a hospital and many times think I have something and am going to die. Maybe I am not so much afraid of death as not being able to live life, of all the things I will miss. I think this is why the death of a child, of someone young, seems to hit people much more than the death of an elderly person, parent, or grandparent.
@RocTrain - Great comment.I feel the same !
Now I’m afraid to live.
Now that I am a mother that kind of fear crOsses my mind.
I’m afraid of nuclear death I suppose.
Yes…”I just don’t know what is up there beyond the sky” to quote the great singer Sam Cooke.
Yes, I was and still am afraid to die. Not as much as when I was younger, but the fear is still there.
What Donkey_Guy_10 writes: “Avoiding death is built into the nature of being alive.” is one of those things that cannot be denied.
So very true. The fear of death is universal among all living creatures, but perhaps for humankind, ego death is the greatest terror, because it is the ego which gives each individual a sense of himself/herself.
Fearing annhiliation is the penalty of being human and cognizant of some form of fate. Whether nuclear war in the 20th Century or invading Roman legions 3,000 years ago, fear is brutal. The Latin West has denied death for a long, long, long time. Religion is formed, for the better part, on the fear of death. I’m not Buddhist, but I think Buddhism has the best take, being students of consciousness for nearly 2,500 years. Some are more anxious than others in their fear of death and dying, but in that fear, I think something else is going on inside the psyche and manifests itself as fear of death. Fear of Death comes in many guises.
I realized as I get older is that if you are afraid to die, you are also afraid to live. I have found out you only have control of about one-third of your life. Genes determine one-third, you control one-third by the life style choices you make and the last one-third no one real knows. My professor, in college, always told me “Life Is What You Make of It”
@MommyMarty22 - Same here. Back when I was single and dating the guys I dated before my husband, I wanted to die or just didn’t care. After my husband and I started dating and got more serious the fear started up and after my daughter was born and she and I both almost died, the thought scares me to death.
In some ways, yes. In some ways, no.
Not any more! I used to be.
I worry about all that crap now. when I was a kid I was worried about going to hell.
either way my anxiety is seriously unhealthy lol
I spent my childhood fearless. The only thing that could harm me were those whom I loved.
At times I worry about it, but I tell myself, God has a plan for us all.
I’m not afraid to die. I’m afraid of HOW I will die (well not exactly afraid, I guess I’m a little curious as to how it will all end) and I’m afraid of what will happen after I’m gone. What will happen to me or my family. It’s a lot to think about…
I’m not afraid to die. I would love to die!
The best thing a person can be is not afraid of death, then nobody has any control over you. However, as I try for that I am quite scared of dying like driving on the freeway.
No. I know I’m going to Heaven thanks to my faith in Jesus Christ. There are things I would to do before I die, but I’m not afarid of death.
Everything happens the way it’s supposed to. I’m okay with dying. Just not TOO soon.
im more scared of a zombie apocalypse in 2012 might build a bunker.
I have knocked on deaths door, was in a coma for over a month, so no I am not afraid to die, but more afraid of what will happen after I die.
Somewhat.
When the Good Lord is ready to take me I am ready to go. Until then I’m happy to be here.