January 27, 2012
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Driving Your Daughter to An Abortion?
Now imagine your 16 year old daughter told you she was pregnant.
You talked it over with her and she said she just does not want to have the baby.
Would you drive her to the abortion clinic?
Comments (300)
I’ll leave Mercedes to answer for me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7yLL4sxWPk
Why would I do that? Clothes hangers are cheaper.
My mum says she’d race me there… *awkward giggles*
No,but I would make her own up to the responsibility.
Great….prepare for a real flame war.
@Rob_of_the_Sky - *laughs* Oh, you.
clam muncher here no way i would have a child to drive to the clinic
fuck yes I would, in a new york nanosecond. she’s 16, and that’s what she wants, of COURSE I’d help out my kid! What a crazy question !
@belleorecluses - that’s funny.
Nope. And I am quite sure that if she went through with it there would be a huge rift in our relationship.
NOTHING should delay the process, especially since I’m not so pro-choice when it’s no longer the first trimester.
Hell no! She was stupid enough to get pregnant and she is going to keep the kid. That will definitely teach her.
It would be hard to accept but I would drive her there and support her.
@mtngirlsouth - I’m sure you’d never know about it, because how could any kid of yours not know that you wouldn’t support them on that. So talk about a rift, yeah, if you want to be so rigid your kids have to sneak around behind you, I think that causes a bigger rift.
@Writer2009 - You’re not joking? Or are you. I don’t know you well enough to know. If you are, it’s very funnah!
Of course.
Of course. Just like under some kind of alternate timeline, I would, in a bizarre chain of circumstances, have kids by my mistress, like Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemmings, and then deliver them up to the slavers according to the Dred Scott Supreme Court ruling. Or if I had Jewish kids in Nazi Germany, I would deliver them up to the S.S.
Not.
(Convoluted enough?)
@DivaJyoti - Oh great and all knowing one, please, what happened to your stance on being judgmental?
Where are all the men here to defend their right to have a say when the woman you got pregnant may or may not keep the baby?
Men or boys who get women pregnant could put up the money for abortion or child support. They have at least half the blame or blessing for the baby.
So first off the Mom of the 16 year old should get her to confess the name of the father. Then go with her daughter (and maybe bring her husband) to the father of the baby.
————————————————–
If the 16 year old is diabetic or has a kidney problem she may be endangering her life to bear a child. Would any mother want to lose her daughter to a pregnancy? If you are in a state that is not abortion friendly would the mother drive to another state to get an abortion?
@DivaJyoti - That may be true, but it would be wrong to raise a child to think she can do whatever she wants because you’re more concerned with how much she likes you than teaching her right and wrong. Also, if you make it clear that your love for your daughter is unconditional and that she can come to you with anything, even if she’s done terrible things, it shouldn’t matter whether she knows of your disapproval or whatever. If she’s in a situation that would bring her to want to get an abortion at age 16, I guarantee that she needs a parent for a lot more than just a ride.
@grammarboy - I don’t think you have any control over whether your kid likes you or not and I didn’t say anything about liking you, that is irrelevant to this situation.
My point is that she won’t trust you. I don’t mean you, I do think you lean strong anti-abortion, but I know for a fact Sam does, and all of sam’s kids couldn’t help but know how she feels, because she’s very overt with her feelings, as am I.
The thing is, if the kid wants to do the opposite of what Sam would allow, if the kid wants to do the opposite of what Sam would allow without it causing a ‘major rift’ the kid will simply have to keep secrets and go around her because the kid can’t trust her.
my opinion, that’s all it is.
@grammarboy - I understand what you’re saying but@mtngirlsouth - kind of said that it would cause problems in the relationship, implying unconditional love may have exceptions in this situation. I respect my parents and would tell them, but if I thought that me saving my own life, and our relationship meant not telling my mum something like this, I would not inform her.
(@DivaJyoti)
@PPhilip - Actually, when her life is in danger it completely changes the entire dynamics of the situation. Just as in *any* situation where one *person* puts the life of another *person* in danger, deadly force must be used. Case closed.
@grammarboy - it shouldn’t matter whether she knows of your disapproval
Perhaps it SHOULDN’T, but you can be altogether certain that it does. Some girls would fear the mother would physically confine them, get them confined to prevent it, do all kinds of unwanted things, or emotional battering if the kid wants to go around the mother’s emphatically dogmatic values.
Most kids will go around someone THAT opinionated, if they are going to do the opposite of the opinion. Kids will find a way, the mother or parents will NEVER KNOW. That’s reality, grammar boy.
@belleorecluses - DJ is a moron. Secondly, I have no doubt that I would be the first person my kids would come to in such a situation. The thing is, they *know* because I have discussed in great depth with them, that if ever they got pregnant I would do whatever I could to help them. they also *know* exactly and very precisely what causes pregnancy and how to prevent it, and what they are responsible for if they decide they are ready for sex. This is why if they still not only got pregnant, but then chose to murder my grandchild instead of taking responsibility for their actions, there would be problems between us.
@mtngirlsouth - *sighs* It’s not a grandchild. It’s a cell! No greater than scratching at your skin and causing those cells to die. Yes at 24 weeks it is more than that, it is a fetus. But at a week, two, three it’s a zygote. It’s a cell. But, let’s agree to disagree.
@Writer2009 -
“
Hell no! She was stupid enough to get pregnant and she is going to keep the kid. That will definitely teach her. “
I thought that’s what abortions were for.
@DivaJyoti - “fuck yes I would, in a new york nanosecond. she’s 16, and that’s what she wants, of COURSE I’d help out my kid! What a crazy question ! “
When I think of the conservative’s caricature of the liberal monster, I visuzlize your smiling face.
@belleorecluses - Sure, obviously it would affect their relationship, but that doesn’t mean she’d stop loving her. I love my wife more than anything, and if she came to me wanting an abortion (which would never happen), it would sure as hell affect our relationship; it would be a big problem. But she’d still my wife, and I would still love her; she never has any reason to fear me or hide anything from me. We would find a way to get through together. She knows this. Even if she’d just stabbed a man to death (again, not something she’d really do), I’d be the first person she’d run to. A minor daughter should be no different in this regard.
@DivaJyoti - See my above comment. I have no doubt that my children will trust me. All it takes is consistency, honesty, and love. My kids will know what to expect from me when they’re in trouble.
Sigh. What a bunch of retards. Of course I would.
Yeah, but the whole time I’d be wondering why I didn’t have MY daughter aborted, I would have been 9 when I had her.
Dan, can your next post be about something that causes controversy? These comments are boring.
I would be quite shocked to find out that I have a 16 year old daughter. But yes, I would driver her to the clinic.
I don’t reallysupport abortion from a certain point in pregnancy, unless the mother is in danger. So as always….circumstances.
A friend of mine’s mom did that… Forced her to have it and said she’d run into traffic if she didn’t (I wouldnt have done it. woman SHOULD have been hit by a car, she’s an evil human being for 10000′s of reasons) The daughter now holds it against her mother and the whole thing is a huge source of pain for her. No, I would not …
I can’t drive so I guess my hypothetical daughter would taking the bus or walking…
Perhaps the hypothetical guy that got her pregnant should drive? If my hypothetical son got a girl pregnant, I wouldn’t force him drive her to a clinic, but I would definitely want him to take care of the girl, whether she decides to get an abortion or not.
Well I can chose between being by her side and making sure she is safe or having her shove a coat hanger up her cooch. Seriously this is a fuckin no-brainer to me.
@mtngirlsouth - But it doesn’t matter if her mental health is in jeopardy? Mental health is just as important as physical health. As the mother of a teen age daughter, if my daughter decides an abortion is best for her my only job is to get her safely to a place where she can be safely taken care of. God alone judges, not me. So, yeah… it should cause a rift in your relationship because she should see that you’ve failed her as a mother.
@TiredSoVeryTired - I like you!
@TiredSoVeryTired - I like you!
@TiredSoVeryTired - I was going to answer this, but right now the only thing that is running through my mind is what a total hypocritical bitch you are, and that you are beneath any more answer from me than that.
“God alone judges, not me…………..you’ve failed her as a mother.”
@TiredSoVeryTired - “God alone judges, not me.”
And then…
“she should see that you’ve failed her as a mother.”
LOL JUDGING
@TiredSoVeryTired - I’m really not sure where you’re getting the idea that she’s a failed mother. I’m sure her family would say otherwise. Either way, that’s hitting below the belt. It’s really not called for in a hypothetical discussion; there’s not even a real situation to get riled about.
@mtngirlsouth - I get that you’re frustrated and feel under attack about something important and personal, but it would do you well not to take anything on this page too seriously. These questions are designed to stir the pot. Resentment, even if it is earned, isn’t good for you or her. Also, it’s pointless; honestly, none of this discussion even matters. If the situation arose, you’d handle it according to your conscience without critiques from strangers on the internet, and God alone would be your judge, as TiredSoVeryTired pointed out.
@grammarboy - Thank you. I am calming down now. One by one, I am learning who is worthy of discussion on here. One by one.
@QuantumStorm - IK, R? Classy!
My parents are the last people I’d tell if I got pregnant. I’d risk my life to do it myself. But I’d save some proof for the best punch sometime when I’m 35 and want the last word.
“That’s not funny!”
“I didn’t think it was funny at all!”
@RebeccaPMiller - “forced her to have it” It being the baby, or the abortion?
@mtngirlsouth - the abortion.. and yea “forced” is the word she used.. I don’t think anybody could have “forced” me to abort if I didn’t want to. Sad…
@RebeccaPMiller - WOW. Just, WOW. See, nobody noticed that I said “if she went through with it” because I wouldn’t be “forcing” her either way. I simply would not help her murder my grandbaby. But, I get the impression that what a lot of these feminazis actually mean by “choice” is “the *right* choice”. Because they really get ticked any time anyone tries to represent the *wrong* choice.
Another day. Another absurdity.
In order for me to answer this question thoroughly, I’d have to ask about the circumstances surround her pregnancy…because that is just as pertinent in my POV (this is slightly obscure reference to the Santorum/Rape article on Lovelyish).
My mother was there for me when I was in this situation, despite her pro-life stance. I think she trusted me to make the best decision for me and knew that shoving her opinion down my throat would only accomplish one thing…me hating her. So yes, this is something I would do for my kid in a heartbeat.
I sure would. I had my first child at 14. I know how hard it is to be a teenage mother.
My (theoretical) 16 year old daughter?? She would not make that decision on her own, I would (theoretically) be right there with her, discussing her options. So if we arrived at the decision of an abortion together (also with her theoretical father), then yes, I would certainly drive her there. If there’s ever a time when you need your mother, that’s got to be it.
@PPhilip - Men do NOT have a say in the decision for a woman to have an abortion. Sorry, the fetus is not in your body. The woman has the ultimate responsibility in the long run. Men are only considered the sperm donor in this situation.
You know, the way people argue when answering these questions really shows the ugly side of people. It’s kinda sad.
No.
Of course
Hell no.
She was old enough to spread her legs, she can go through with it. There is adoption if she doesn’t want the baby. That’s just taking the easy way out.
I’d talk to her about all of her options, and then if she still wanted one without any doubt, I’d drive her there in a heartbeat, no hesitation!
No I wouldn’t, but I don’t expect to be in that situation with my daughter…she is 15, we have already had talks about this, and she has told me she would never have an abortion. I would help her through whatever situation she found herself in, in any way I could, but that would not be the direction she would go. As a family for whom unplanned pregnancy, adoption, abandonment and death has impacted us greatly, we know that a life- and love-affirming choice is the only way to go.
Ahh, this actually happened to an old high school friend of mine..When she was 16..she got pregnant. She was really excited at first..but it was no secret the babys daddy was not..the best guy around, if anyone gets my drift there. .I wasn’t thrilled for her, after all she’s 16, the guys a dud & yeah. I guess she talked it over with her mom & dad..& they finally got her to see common sense. They explained they’d still love her & whatnot if she went through with the pregnancy; but they also really honed in on how hard it would be on her to be a young mother & to face the possibility that her then boyfriend might not even stick around. There’d be no late night parties, no hanging out with friends after school, she’d trade in iPod & magazines for baby bottles & diapers. In the end she decided as hard as it would be to go through with an abortion, it’d be even harder to go through the pregnancy & give the baby up. She opted for abortion & her mom took her to the clinic. Every year the date of the would be babys birth rolls around or the abortion date rolls around, she gets a little depressed..but she knows she did what she felt was right. In the end..this question has one of those..”there’s really no awesome outcome” Being such a young mom or dad is crazy rough, even when parents give full support, having an abortion had such a young age too is also really rough. I guess my answer would be I would support my daughter as best I could no matter what she wanted, but I would explain like my friends parents did – how hard it would be to be a young mother. My daughter deserves the full scoop on both sides so she can make the best decision for herself & would be child.
@DivaJyoti - Oh I am not kidding. If you are dumb enough to spread your legs for a man and have unprotected sex, you know the ultimate will happen…PREGNANCY! Sorry, I don’t believe in abortion. It’s murder. You go off, have sex and get pregnant, consider yourself a parent for the next 18 years because you ARE keeping the child!
Yes I would .but I hope she knows what she is doing and the possible consequences
I don’t think I would drive her to the clinic, but if she went through with it, that’s her decision. I might not agree with it, but I won’t love her any less. Afterwards, I know I would drive her to a doctor to get an IUD or some other form of extremely effective birth control. Anything regarding abortion is always a touchy subject. Would you rather her have the child because you don’t believe in abortion and then end up being a parent-grandparent because she won’t take care of a child she never wanted in the first place? What if she has the child and that child ends up being put into the system because she neglected/abused the child? I think about Jenelle from Teen Mom, who had a baby only to give up her rights to her 52 year old mother, who is now unable to retire when she wants and enjoy her senior years because she has taken on the responsibility of raising her grandson.
I would try to encourage her to have the child, and I would help her give it up for adoption upon birth..? And over time, we could both help settle the details for that. She wouldn’t have to work during that time unless she wanted to, and we would try to set it up with school to finish out classes at home, if she didn’t feel comfortable going back to school.
But if she ended up wanting to keep it instead of giving it up for adoption, I WOULD help raise it. If I am having her go through the pregnancy at 16, then I should also be willing to help raise it while she finishes up highschool, etc.
If she got an abortion even though I didn’t want that, I HOPE I would not yell at her or make it worse. I really intend not to. We would just continue with life, and try to talk about it in a healing way if she needs to talk about it ever. I wouldn’t want my daughter to not be able to talk to me about something so hard.
I’d make her sleep on it (the decision, not the baby). Before I drove her anywhere, we’d talk about all the options of adoption, keeping the baby or terminating. We’d look up information and talk about every aspect of each (emotional, physical, spiritual). If she decided she wanted an abortion, I would not allow her to do it alone and would make sure that whatever clinic she was going to was a good one so that the procedure would be done as safely as possible. As far as me personally driving her…I’m not sure I could handle it. That would be my grandchild after all.
Nope. I would tell her “you should have thought about that before she had sex, killing your baby because you were too lazy to use a condom is unacceptable, here’s the number of an adoption agency, now get busy being an adult.”
I would tell her its her choice, find your own ride. your own money.but rememberthe choice your making will haunt you the rest of your life, had two friends around that age and they have nightmares, and feel as if they commited a terrible crime. and when you do have a family remember to tell them they would of had an older brother or sister,
Mind say get the boyfriends opinion?!
Sure. Why not? It’s not uterus, not my call. If she doesn’t want to have the baby, I fail to see what trying to force her into having it is going to accomplish…?
@PPhilip - “Where are all the men here to defend their right to have a say when the woman you got pregnant may or may not keep the baby?”
Men don’t have ANY say on a woman’s pregnancy under the law. There’s no point in defending a right which does not exist.
I love it when people who don’t have children pass judgement on a parent’s child-rearing choices. So much fun.
Absolutely not, but I would talk to her about adoption. If she was raped, I might, but only as an absolute last resort if carrying the pregnancy to term, even with adoption, would cause irreparable damage to her psyche causing the trauma to control her for life…which falls under the category of “save the baby or save the mother.” However, other, better options would have to be discussed at length over several days before I would agree to that.
I have absolutely no idea. Maybe it’s because I don’t have kids, but I am literally stumped in this hypothetical situation.
I guess it would depend on my kid, her maturity level, and what she had to say.
Now, hopefully no 16 year old daughter of mine would be in that situation, but if she did, I would definitely drive her to the clinic if she felt that it was the best choice for her. But like I said, I hope to have taught my children well, to know the difference between right and wrong and to know that having sex can lead to pregnancy and other possible consequences.
Of course. And if I had a 16 year old daughter and she got pregnant and wants to keep it.. She would be doing everything herself (atleast most of it), if the dads not involved. Work, clean, take care of the kid, ect, unlike most parents of teen moms now a days..
Now imagine your 16 year old had a 9 month old baby.
You talked it over with her and she said she just does not want to have the baby.
Would you drive her to the river so she could throw it in?
She has made the choice to act like an adult and participate in the creation of a new life that since conception has carried its own DNA.
It is a separate life, even if it is totally reliant on its parent/s for sustenance and care.
My question is the same as Dan’s except for the size and location of the child.
Does size and location change the morality of the choice to kill a child you’ve created?
If the kid brought up abortion, they are going to do it whether you take them or not. I am anti-abortion, but I would take them. Just to know my child is safe while getting that procedure done that was their choice. I’d rather that than having a friend of theirs shoving a coat hanger up there in a skeezy public restroom somewhere.
@TiredSoVeryTired - finally someone who makes sense!
@lightnindan - It’s crazy how one is a choice and the other is murder.
Wow, that’s a tough question to answer for people who haven’t been in that situation, as a parent with a teen that doesn’t want to be pregnant and wants to abort, that would be tough to swallow either way. I can’t answer that question with being 100% sure of my answer. Today I would say that, I would rather be the one to make sure she got the procedure done by a good, established place, rather than she try to find one herself and go to one of her friends for help — which could be concluded by safety and health issue.
On the flip side of the coin, I’ve stumbled across vids of abortions and have seen little arms, and fetuses moving in the that amniotic sack. I would gather the next step would be the fetus suffocating, or I don’t know something gross. I’ve seen pro-lifers with pics of fetuses and statues of destroyed fetuses in front of the abortion clinic in Brookline, MA where I grew up. I think I would do my best to encourage dealing with the circumstances of being pregnant, have the baby, and let me help in raising both her and the baby ’til she’s ready to do so on her own, or with the dude that helped in her pregnancy, before anything.
There are special cases where I wouln’t argue the abortion but, for the most part I really don’t like the idea of abortion, especially for a 16 year old child.
If that is what she wanted to do
@DivaJyoti - I totally agree with you
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT?!!!!
clearly. the child is 16. this is the real issue.
she can drive herself!
as well as get a job to pay for it.
Nope. They cannot perform an abortion unless there is someone to drive the girl home. By taking her, you are enabling them to kill her baby. Keep her home, locked in her room preferably (where she should have been if she was out having sex).
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL - No, she can’t. They don’t perform abortions unless someone is there to drive you home. You can’t drive yourself home from surgery.
@NightCometh - well, actually, you’re wrong.
there’s a pill abortion you take from the comfort of your own home when you’re under 5 weeks pregnant.
so yeah, she can.
FINE, Dan. I will take off work and drive your daughter to the abortion clinic for you. Jeez. You’d think he was the president or something.
@SpOnTaNeOuS_sPiTbAlL - So…you wouldn’t be driving her. *pointless argument*.
@Call_Me_Momma01 - just to clarify, she was old enough to make a mistake so she’ll have to deal with it is what you’re saying?
So, still speaking hypothetically, if your child set the house on fire (knowing good and well not to play with matches) and couldn’t get out… you’d leave her in there to burn because she knew better?
I don’t agree with your reasons or anyone else who stands by that opinion.
either way. you’re the adult.. you are more mature. and yes.. children make mistakes.
i would not make my child ruin her life for a mistake..
@NightCometh - that’s not an arguement. its an agreement. by george, you’ve got it!
@Writer2009 - Hahaha… That’ll teach her! And the kid will probably have to pay by having a shitty upbringing too! Hell yeah!
I wouldn’t drive her there, but I’d support her decision and let her do it.
I honestly used to be against abortions, but I’ve come to realize, that it’s not a choice for everyone. I had a child at the age of sixteen, she’s now two and I have my moments where I wish i would have, but that’s only when things are REALLY bad.
BUT as i said, I wouldn’t take her to a clinic if she was going to get an abortion. It’s her responsibility, she’d have to take care of the situation on her own. Like my grandma told my mom when she started smoking: “I don’t care if you smoke, but I don’t. Therefore, I will not be buying cigarettes for you.”
No.
Yeah, I’d drive her to the damn place. Why not? I wouldn’t drive her to a dumpster so she could stuff a live baby in there… But to kill a clump of cells? Sure.
What would be nice though, is for guys to have the option of legal paternal surrender.
@Crying_In_Color - I agree that a man has no right to choose what a woman will do in that situation. However, a female should have no right to choose a man’s autonomy. So if he wants to leave, he should be allowed to without being financially or legally obligated.
What are the options? Try to force her to do something that will ruin her life and also ruin our relationship? Of course i would support her in her decision and would not try to force her to do anything but what she decides.
I’m going to not really answer the question by sharing the opposite. My Christian father wanted me to have an abortion. I wanted one also, but ran away bc I did not want my father controlling what I did with my body and my life.
I ended up becoming saved and my heart changed day of birth– daughter was my greatest blessing.
But I can guarantee you and agree with Diva that Christian kids are doing a lot in secret; they know exactly what to say to appear pious. They are the kids who act like angels in church, good grades,
appearance of holiness,
but justify all their shortcomings as lesser evils,
continue to oppress, act proud/boastful/ arrogant/superior- acting rest of their walk , especially with atheists, gays or those who appear less righteous.
They are “filled with Christ’s love, damnit!”* then chucks bible at you
Hopefully, I’d be able to explain to her why murdering a child in the womb is completely wrong, and that if she couldn’t or didn’t want to raise the baby, she had the choice to give it up for adoption. There are so many couples out there who want children, but can’t have them.
@mtngirlsouth - I’m offended by this because a] I consider myself a feminist and b] I’m pro-choice. When I say feminist, I mean that I believe in equality of the sexes. Now, when I say that I’m pro-choice, it means that I believe the person who is carrying the child should have a CHOICE. Not their parents, not the government, not some asshole standing outside the clinic with pictures of mutilated fetuses. I cannot tell someone what the *right* choice for them is because I’m not them and I don’t know their situation. Just because someone is pro-choice does not mean they think everyone should have an abortion.
Now going by your original comment, the only thing I can really take away from it is by saying that it would cause a rift in your relationship with your child, you’re indirectly forcing your child to go through with a pregnancy they do not want to go through (assuming that they want the abortion.) If you don’t see how, it’s really quite simple. You would be trying to scare your child into having a child because she wouldn’t want to cause problems with your relationship.. not because she wanted to be a parent (which to be honest, is important. People who don’t want to be parents often are not good parents.) I don’t believe in forcing someone to have their baby, or forcing them to have an abortion. I would not judge them, especially if they were my child. I would want them to do whatever makes them happy because in my opinion, raising a child isn’t about raising someone who believes everything I do. It’s about raising a person who has the ability to think and make decisions for themselves. At a certain point, it’s not about what the parent wants… The parent has to acknowledge that their child deserves to make their own decisions, etc.
we are individuals. i could not drive my daughter to that place because it is aiding the death of a baby. but i would never push my daughter away, never hold it over her head. i would be wrecked inside emotionally just liked she would be physically. but she would have a home to return to.
Wow. This is the entire problem. All of you are bitching and moaning about wether or not abortion is right or wrong, if it’s ok or not, if you would driver her or not.
No one is asking the question “why is a 16 year old girl pregnant?”
Until that question can be answered, quite honestly, you all are blowing smoke up each other’s asses. THAT is the issue here, not wether or not the baby should be killed.
My daughter is 4 and I’ve never been in this situation but, if this would come about, I would support her in whatever decision she makes. I would also make sure she understood the emotional aspects of all options as well and we would consult baby daddy if it was anything more than a one night thing.
If she’s 16 she should drive herself. Jeez, how needy.
I would have compassion on whomever I was with. I’d pray that the car broke down and person change their mind, but if I am really listening to someone and they feel their life is over, I will be damned if I will judge them and not do whatever the spirit convicts me to do. Of course doing all I can to dissuade them first. And honestly, I don’t know if I could really drive someone there. But who knows? God asked Abraham to do the absolutely insane and horrible- kill his own son — the one with whom God finally had blessed him.
I hated being pregnant. It was torturous hell. But after enduring that and receiving such grace afterwards, I know what my hands were almost capable of — but I also know amazing grace! So far be it for me to judge, dictate, look down on on another human being for their actions when I know what hell that was. It was only by Gods grace I endured.
We have a lot of audacity saying what we all wouldnt do until we are in those shoes ourselves.
Everyone is only a few steps away from savagery given the right pressure and pain.
Let’s not test or try God to find out what we can and cannot handle !
Mmmmmyeah, I think so.
@PPhilip - @mtngirlsouth - @DivaJyoti - I’m going to break a long standing rule and comment on this troll site. This isn’t directed at any one of you, but since your comment thread is what I’ve been following I thought I’d add my two cents.
Abortion is legal for those who wish to do it. No matter what the circumstances that bring you to that point, it remains an option. Lets face it though, abortion is a fix to some mistake made somewhere in the vast majority of cases. No one gets pregnant so they can have an abortion, that would be crazy. What’s crazier is to deny your kid the choice or to add even MORE consequences to her predicament by ostracizing or expressing disapproval of her choice with her own body. Burying your head in some vague religious dogma might make you all warm and fuzzy about being in line with what you think some deity wants, but it’s simply not your choice, it’s your daughters. She has to live with it, and hopefully learn from it as well. So do what YOU think is right, but above all, let others have that same choice.
“Now imagine your 16 year old daughter told you she was pregnant. “
i would either burst into laughter or get mad over such a bad practical joke she made…
and perhaps i would answer by saying, “wow… so now they have found a way for girls to be pregnant without having sex huh?”
(I probably would never have a kid, considering that if I ever got pregnant I would get an abortion myself, but, let’s go hypothetical here…)
No. Simply because I don’t (and won’t) drive. But I would do my best to find her a ride ASAP. Things like that need to be taken care of as soon as possible, and as long as she is sure that is what she wants, I would completely agree. In fact, it would probably be the wisest choice of her 3 options.
Now of course I would not be making this decision alone. My boyfriend (whom I plan to be with for the rest of my life) would also have a say, since it would be his daughter in this situation as well. I can’t speak for him, but I know him well enough to guess that he would let her do whatever she felt was right. We would both likely have to talk to her about it, and be absolutely sure there was no doubt in her mind about it. We would also have to make sure she could handle the emotional trauma, and guilt that may come, and afterward, if need be, we would have to get her a therapist to talk to about it, just to be sure lasting damage would not occur. It’s not an easy thing to do, but when handled correctly, it can be managed. I’ve thought about this a lot, because of my lack of enthusiasm on the subject of children. This may or may not be what I would really do, because I’m not a parent and can’t fully imagine the situation, but… it’s how I feel I should react to something like this.
xX Ame ~*~ Hana Xx
@grim_truth - You don’t know why? A 16 year old is pregnant because a male put his penis into her vagina and ejaculated sperm that made its way and fertilized the egg which then attached…..oh nevermind. I don’t care what they say…SexEd is important.
Absolutely.
@Saridactyl - Your response feels good on the ears, but is logical nonsense. She chose to engage in the activities that led to her becoming pregnant. That was her choice. We can and do tell people every day what the right choice is about myriads of things. You wouldn’t take the same tone if the question was about something like helping your kid hold down a dog so she could dismember it. Killing children is one of those things that many of us believe falls into the category of things upon which we should take a moral stand. Raising a child who has the ability to think involves informing them of realities and guiding their thinking as well.
@Miserable_Ass_hole - Legality of an action does not indicate rightness. Killing and enslaving Jews was legal and encouraged in Germany less than a century ago, but was not right and should have been spoken against. So by the logic you are using, because it (at the time) was legal, it should have remained an option, therefore who am I to speak out about it? This thinking is simply dangerous.
As to the, “burying your head in some vague religious dogma might make you all warm and fuzzy…it’s not your choice it’s your daughter’s” comment, I gotta call b/s on that one, too. First, scientifically (you know, science, that thing with which so many people like to bludgeon those who hold any sort of religious belief?) a new and separate life begins upon conception. This fact simply cannot be argued away. Therefore, I must say that burying your brain in the fuzzy logic of feel good political mumbo jumbo about “choice” and female equality to make yourself feel self-righteous about your choice to kill or enable the killing of a helpless human child, does not change the fact that you have hired someone to kill a human child or have facilitated the transaction (assuming you are the hypothetical 16 y/o or the parent).
@tendollar4ways - thanks for showing how ignorant you are. Big difference between “why” and “how.”
Even though I disagree with abortion (I would never get one because it’s difficult for me to get pregnant) if it was my 16 year old daughter and it was HER decision, I would most definitely support it. I wouldn’t want her to have to go behind my back and feel that she wouldn’t be able to talk to me about it, so yes, I would drive her to the abortion clinic. Obviously, she would know that having a baby at that age would be stressful so I would think she was making the right choice.
Of course I would. My daughter is severely autistic. She would have no idea what happened that made her pregnant, can’t understand what’s going to happen and neither she nor I are capable of handling a (or in my case, another) child, especially one who will share his/her mother’s disability. She would have no idea that she’s even pregnant, she is not capable of making that kind of decision for herself. The emotional and financial cost is too high and we can not take care of another child.
Hell yes, I’d drive her there. And everyone else had better stay out of my way until it’s done.
@mtngirlsouth - I’m not judging you for THAT, I’m just sayin. There’s a good chance that kids will not trust, or turn to, parents who have very dogmatic moral standards, the will go around the parent, they will not share, they may even end up having to hide gigantic chunks of their life from you. You just can’t assume they won’t. So who said anything judgmental here? I’m just talking about
LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES
@AmorVomnia7 - I completely agree with you.
@Unstoppable_Inner_Strength - Snortle
I’d bring her to get the abortion (provided it is before the point of viability) and then I’d put her on birth control pills as soon as it’s safe enough for her to do so afterwards, and kick myself in the face over and over again for being so irresponsible so as not to do so earlier. I think all females should take BC once they start menstruating, and all boys should have vasectomies until they are at a point that they can be good fathers.
@YouToMe - Ever seen the movie ‘Saved’?
@NightCometh -
Nope. They cannot perform an abortion unless there is someone to drive the girl home. By taking her, you are enabling them to kill her baby. Keep her home, locked in her room preferably (where she should have been if she was out having sex).
Firstly, where did you get the radically incorrect notion that they won’t do it if there’s no one to drive her home? Maybe that’s true in a couple of radically right wing states, but I doubt it. If it’s true, it would be state politics trying to trump federal law, but it’s not true, because abortion clinics are there to serve their clients, not some politicians.
There’s no reason at all that she can’t drive herself there and drive herself home. As a counselor for many years, I know many, many women who have done just that. And you know what? YOU would never ever know the difference. Because WHO in their right mind would confide in someone who is so extreme that they would talk about keeping her locked up in the home?
I would call that child abuse and call child protective services on your ass, because you don’t get to lock up 16 year olds in this country and force them to have babies. That is not an option for you.
@DrummingMediocrity - vasectomies?
I agree with you on the birth control thing, but I also think it would be child abuse to force boys to have vasectomies. That’s over the line of what is legal, in America anyway. And it’s morally absurd, you could ruin his chances of ever fathering kids!
Yes sir. That’s where I got it from. I should have quoted.
@Shadowrunner81 -
@DivaJyoti - Eh. I was speaking more from an idealistic perspective, and of boys once they have finished puberty/around teenage-years. In reality I would not trust the government or any other power-yielding entity to force an operation on anyone. I think it’s worse and sicker to force a little girl to go through a pregnancy, though (topic at hand) than a vasectomy, the former of which is MUCH MORE dangerous!!
@DivaJyoti - Well-said. What type of counseling did you do?
@DrummingMediocrity - certainly, giving birth is physically dangerous, vascectomies aren’t, that’s a given, but you can’t give boys vascectomies and you wouldn’t really want to, because that could ruin their choice later. There’s got to be a better way.
They need to invent some kind of pill for men that will kill the sperm before they even come out, so long as the man is taking that pill, but when he stops, the sperm return to normal abilities. If a bc pill could be made for women, why not for men? Just shows the sexist nature of scientific research that still exists in America today.
@DrummingMediocrity - I do…whatever! Whatever presents. If it ends up being something that I should refer elsewhere, then I do that, but I’ve done intakes on every possible imaginable set of problems. I prefer emergency service mental health work, it’s exciting, never boring. Long term counseling can get boring unless you use unusual approaches.
No baby deserves to be aborted. It’s not their fault they were born. Why are we punishing their birth by killing them?
These are babies. The most innocent out of all of us.
What’s wrong with adoption?
@lightnindan - Oh but it does, it might not match your own personal ethics, law is based on societies morallity so if it’s legal is moral. Right or wrong are completly subjective topics as every human possess a personal code of ethics, that’s why societies are organized in states to force a common moral upon them by the “law”.
@lightnindan - Siting the holocaust is a false equivocation.
“Life begins at conception”…I’ll do you one better. Life is a continuous process that has no describable beginning that we can pinpoint. This does nothing to support your sanctity of life argument. Try to bring an argument that stays on topic, and don’t mention logic, unless you’re willing to say that GWB’s attack on Iraq, which killed hundreds if not thousands of “innocent little children” was only to make your life free of fear and thus easier, you know, like abortion does for 16 year-olds.
Thank you whoever recommended my comment. I really appreciate it.
Have a wonderful day!
So, first of all let me just say I wouldnt let my selfish wants for my daughter to come into play. I wouldn’t force her to keep a pregnancy she didn’t want. Not would I force her to keep that baby. And actually these women on here who are saying they would make their daughters keep the baby and care for it. You can’t. You have no rights to do that. She doesn’t need your permisision to give the baby up for adoption. In most states she doesn’t even need your permission to get an abortion.
I would support my daughter in whatever she decided I would go over all the options with her. Talk to her about how she might feel with each. And ultimately let her decide. And I would be with her every step. I wouldn’t ever make her feel forced or like she had no choice or like he was alone without support. To me this isn’t what a mother does.
@xXxlovelylollipop - There are many things which can be proven to be right or wrong objectively. Societies make laws to enforce morality. This much is true. The problem is that societies are not always successful at making laws which are moral. Legal simply does not equal moral.
@millionofstars - Not every child is adoptable. People who ask this question always assume every baby will eventually be adopted and it just isn’t true.
For instance, my last two children have an intellectual disability, one more disabled than the other. Due to my physical issues any other children I would have are sure to have the same issue, only WORSE. This doesn’t just affect me as the parent of this potential child, it affects every aspect of his or her life as well. I have a child who bolts, bites, scratches, screams, attacks other people, self injures, throws fits and will most likely beat the hell out of me at some point in the future because even after behavior therapy at one of the best institutes in the world (literally), she is aggressive and still largely out of control.
No one in their right mind is going to adopt a child like this. I love her more than I can say even with all of her issues, but the truth is the truth. No one would willingly take on a child who will behave this way. They won’t be able to afford the emotional or financial cost of raising the child. I can tell you this from personal experience, every day is a struggle.
If I were to ever get pregnant again (or my daughter does), I have to make the tough choice and abort.
@Miserable_Ass_hole - By this argument, I ought to let her fry her brains on drugs, and drive her around to orgies. There is a reason why adult status is not even legal until 18, and many states 16 is too young to consent to making that baby. Not to mention the FACT that abortion has so many negative affects that none of you are even considering. And just because it makes *you* feel better to tell yourself that that baby is not really a person, doesn’t maker THAT true either. I refuse to particioate in teaching any child of mine that murder is the answer to any mistake.
@Saridactyl - What planet do 16 year olds know what is best for them and their future?
@ZombieMom_Speaks - I am sorry you have to deal with that. I hope you can find some light in your day to day care of your kids. I work with children and I can see it can be hard. Though I know teachers only care for kids a part of the day, whereas parents care 24/7 for their kids. However, I still stand by my argument I made earlier. Nobody will know how a baby will turn out. Nobody does. Therefore we should treat all babies the same. They have a potential and a promise to grow up in a beautiful way. Why not give them the chance?
killers.
have the kid. he’s alive already, and gonna be cute, and cool. maybe another Tebow, or another Beethoven, or if a girl…maybe …maybe… well some role model to somebody….why turn your daughter from a slut into a killer? sluts aren’t so bad.
@DivaJyoti - You don’t even know my kids. You have no idea what they would do. And, as normal, you just go the rout that makes your position seem more correct to you. And you completely ignore anything that may prove otherwise.
@Crying_In_Color - You are incorrect. If this was true there would be no child support for single mothers.
Due to the fact the girl is underage(and possibly the father ) takes away much of the male’s choice. If the male was of age and the female wasn’t depending on the laws that can be considered rape as such the male has no say on the mater unless the prego-girl allows him to have a voice in the matter. In the case that they are both underage it should be all 4 parties involved, the prego girl, the boy, and their parents.
This would be a delicate situation that would needed to be handled with understanding and care.
@mtngirlsouth - What are some of the negative effects of abortion?
@ZombieMom_Speaks - wow that is intense stuff.
Yes. Flush that shit out.
@Miserable_Ass_hole - I’m not seeing the false equivocation. I’m addressing two instances of people taking the lives of others because they feel that right belongs to them.
As to the commencement of life, allow me to clarify. The life of any given human being began at conception. Before that moment, his living DNA didn’t exist. At that moment, it came into being and the cell/s that were him were identifiable and distinct from those of his mother and father.
I stayed on topic, and my logic stands on its merits whether or not I’m prepared to parrot your particular belief on the morality of GWB’s war. If I had taken a stance on that war it might be on topic, but as I haven’t and don’t know all the particulars of the reasoning behind that war, I’m not prepared to make a judgment on its morality other than to say that war is hellish. It should be avoided if at all possible, and our nation has at times been too slow to step in when necessary and at other times, too quick.
@lightnindan - Logical nonsense? Your personal opinion about abortion is just that, your personal opinion. How am I wrong for allowing others the right to their own opinions?
@millionofstars - In some cases you’re right, you don’t know.
In my case and in others it is definitely possible to tell. Of the three children I have, only my oldest doesn’t have autism, my second son is high functioning and my daughter is low functioning. I’ve been warned to not have any more children. In the case of my daughter, she is not capable of understanding if she is or is not pregnant and any children she has will almost assuredly share her disability. This renders them non-adoptable and I surely can not handle another one myself, so the only option left is to abort.
I understand people who say, “I’d never do that.” That’s a personal choice and I appreciate their feelings. What I don’t get is people who say, “No one else should be able to do that, either.”
@ZombieMom_Speaks - Well abortion is a highly sensitive subject to most people. It’s about the taking of a baby’s life. It’s not something to dismiss like watching one movie over another. It’s a human being. The most helpless out of all of us. This is why abortion is such an emotionally charged topic in society. I understand it’s a woman’s right to choose, but why does murder have to be a choice?
@millionofstars - Because sometimes, for some people, there is no other choice. We can always say, ‘Yes there is’, but none of us has to live in that other person’s situation. There are some women for whom pregnancy is dangerous. Ectopic pregnancy will never result in a live birth and has the potential to kill the mother. Should we let a woman in that situation die because we don’t agree with her choice to take the embryo out of her fallopian tube?
@mtngirlsouth - Out of everything I said, this is what you chose to respond with? Did you even read it? Or did you just assume that since you wrote a post about me awhile back about how stupid I am that you could just leave it at that? I made valid points about allowing people to make their own decisions and not forcing them to do something they don’t want to do.. but that just goes ignored, right? Alright, I suppose I could say something similar back to you and get no where, so here goes. What’s the difference in a 16 year old choosing to have a child over having an abortion, all murder accusations aside. You claim that abortion causes severe trauma (without citations, by the way) but what about pregnancy? Childbirth is more dangerous than abortion.There have been studies that show that abortion may be less traumatic than childbirth.
What 16 year old girls do you know who are emotionally, mentally and physically capable of making the choice to have a child and raise them?
@DivaJyoti - I remember hearing about a birth control pill for men back in 2006… I just looked it up, and apparently they’re still developing it.
Without a second thought.
I also know my mum would have done the same thing for me.
(I’d be dead, but she’d still take me)
Hm, wow. I would discourage her from the abortion. Offer other options, such as adoption. My husband wouldn’t be as accepting. But it is her decision, just like (in this scenario) it was her decision to do the deed. I would explain to her the reprecutions (sp?). Introduce her to some of my friends that have done this. Have her read some books with me on the matter from each stand point… And see where she wants to go from there.I wouldn’t force her to travel the road alone. Christ doesn’t force us to. So, I’d be there for her every step of the way. I would simply make sure that she was well-informed and knew what to expect in the aftermath of her decision, whichever way she goes. You know? Hopefully I won’t ever have to face this. I’ve already started praying for my children in this area, and I’m not even pregnant yet.
Haha. Hopefully, I will be a good, steady mom. I hope so!
Yep.
@grim_truth - That’s a good point. See, my answer was to the hypothetical question as posed, but to be honest, I can’t imagine a child of mine ever getting pregnant at 16 nor wanting an abortion should such a situation arise.
Did you know that children whose fathers are present in their lives are much less likely to have sex, tend to start later, and have only one seventh the chance of getting pregnant as a teen compared to those whose fathers are absent [source: fatherhood.gov]? And that’s regardless of how they’re raised. As for me, I’m going to raise my children to know the consequences of their actions and make responsible decisions.I realize that children have minds of their own and can do as they please regardless of all the influences in their lives, and they’re predisposed to do some dumb stuff as teens, but my wife and I can do enough to make this situation very unlikely.
@mtngirlsouth - God, I hate the term “feminazi.” Most (if not all) people who are pro-choice are not pro-abortion… they’re…well… pro-CHOICE. As in, it would be the hypothetical daughter’s choice, ultimately, because it’s her hypothetical daughter. I understand that pro-life individuals would explain to their children why they want them to give birth to the baby instead of aborting it, but in my opinion, a parent should be supportive of their child regardless of whether or not they choose to do something that the parent disagrees with. They’ll certainly need the emotional support regardless of the choice that they make. As a side note, I don’t think that the vast majority of 16 year olds are fit to be emotionally and financially supportive parents. Yes, there is still adoption, which is a wonderful choice, but that’s not without it’s emotional struggles, either. Not to mention the doctor’s visits, prenatal vitamins, etc., start to add up, and someone (probably not the teenager) is going to have to pay for these things to help ensure that the baby is healthy. I’m not saying that the financial cost means that the baby is not worth it– that’s for the person who is actually in the situation to decide.
Hmm. What a tough situation. Personally, I don’t agree with abortion. But if she’s 16, she’s old enough to decide for herself if she’s ready for have a child. (16 is still really young but it’s her choice.) I would definitely encourage her to choose adoption if she didn’t want to keep the baby. But ultimately, it would be up to her. I would not and could not force her to keep the baby. If she wanted to have an abortion, then I’m sure she’d find a way to get one whether it was with my “approval” or not. So if I could take her to a safe/clean doctor to have it done instead of her doing something dangerous to herself, then I would. I wouldn’t allow my child to possibly seriously injure herself just because I was too stubborn to let her make her own decisions, whether or not I agreed with them or not. Ensuring that my daughter was safe does not mean that I would condone the abortion, it would simply mean that I love her. I’d do whatever I could to change her mind to sway her away from abortion but if not, then I’d do whatever I could to make sure she was safe.
@ZombieMom_Speaks - No matter what complications arise that may affect the mother, it’s always the baby who loses a life.
Over and out.
@JulyFire - If she wanted to have an abortion, then I’m sure she’d find a way to get one whether it was with my “approval” or not
That is so true.
@Saridactyl - You stated an opinion based on several opinions you laid out in your comment. I responded by saying your logic was faulty and didn’t stand up if taken to its logical conclusion. Your response neither discredits my positions nor supports yours. Am I to assume then that you have nothing with which to discredit my position and instead change the subject to say, “Well we all have opinions.” in order to avoid the embarrassment of having lost an argument? There is no shame in losing an argument. It is how we develop our ability to think.
@lightnindan - As to the commencement of life, allow me to clarify. The life of any given human being began at conception.
That’s controversial. A live shell for a soul to enter does exist at that point, but according to my religion (Hindu) the soul doesn’t enter the body until the shell has survived in the woumb for 7 months.
I do not view first trimester abortion as taking a human life, because without the soul, there is no human life.
@grammarboy - Have you noticed that the majority of the responses here about concerns regarding a child’s ability to raise a baby seem to make the assumption that the parents will ditch the poor girl once she’s pregnant, or at least have a very hands-off approach?
I’ve known teenage girls who have gotten pregnant before, and the difference in their approach largely has to do with their parents. If the parents are more supportive and willing to help the daughter with the difficult process of pregnancy and childbirth, she’s much more likely to carry the child to term than with parents who use “well she’s 16, she can make her own decisions” as a pathetic excuse to avoid interaction and care.
But of course, if parents were more involved and took a more caring AND realistic approach to educating their children about the world, kids wouldn’t end up in these situations in the first place.
@DivaJyoti - Sorry, but it’s not over the line to subject girls to birth control that, on every commercial that I’ve ever seen, explicitly notes a long list of horrible side-effects? Even assuming that the risks of heart attack and/or stroke are very small, these are risks that some people may not want to take, or force their young daughters to take. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t have the right to take birth control after making a fully informed choice, but it should absolutely be just that… a choice. If there was a way to prevent pregnancy that was 100% effective without a single side-effect (well… I suppose there’s always abstinence…), then sure, force all kids to do it. But until then, birth control medication HAS to be a choice.
For the record, just because I mentioned abstinence, that does not mean that I’m advocating abstinence only sex ed. I’m just stating the fact that it’s the only 100% effective birth control method which is 100% risk free.
@DivaJyoti - Hinduism has more variance on its views of abortion than you’re implying.
The traditional Hindu stance is that unless the pregnancy poses a grave medical threat to the mother, it is immoral to abort the child, because of (1) An adherence to non-violent principles, in which abortion is seen as a violation, and (2) A desire to minimize damage to both bodies involved. In the Vedas, comparisons are made between abortion and killing a family member or a Hindu priest, and are considered quite grave. In fact, the Atharva Veda refers to abortion practitioners as “brunaghni” or “fetus slayers” and strongly condemns them. Furthermore, traditional Hindu interpretations go so far as to state that a distinct person is formed at the moment of conception, because of the belief that every living body is a shell for a soul.
Now, many of the modern, more liberal interpretations of Hinduism have varying viewpoints, many tied in with medical concepts of viability and the like. And as you and I both know, the practice of sex-selective abortion in India goes to show that orthodoxy does not always lead to orthopraxis. But by and large, the more traditional Hindu perspectives strongly discourage, if not downright condemn, abortion.
So to say that Hinduism as a whole has such an interpretation of abortion isn’t entirely accurate.
Yes, of course I would, after I made sure she was properly educated on the matter.
Thankfully, for me growing up it never got this point. My parents educated me well before I ever started having sex, and when I did at 16, I was prepared.
BUT if it had happened I have NO DOUBT my mother would have stood by me no matter my choice.
@lightnindan - I wasn’t trying to discredit anyone’s position. I respect someones right to an opinion. I’m not in it to change anyone’s mind. I just wanted to explain why I am pro-choice. If someone wants to have an abortion, it’s up to them and it’s none of my business. How is that “logical non-sense”? Also, how have I changed the subject? I’ve been entirely consistent with what I have said from the get go, which wasn’t even a response to anything you said. You’ve completely missed my point altogether if you think there is some sort of “argument” here.
@TheyCallHerEcho88 - If your daughter came to you and said, “Some bitch just stole my boyfriend, and I’m going to kill her. Can I borrow your shotgun?”, you would presumably deny her the weapon. So it does, in fact, matter what she wants your support on. There’s an Arabic saying translates roughly “Support your brother, oppressor or oppressed.” This is the idea I’m trying to convey. There’s more than one way to be supportive. It doesn’t always mean enabling someone to do whatever (s)he wants. Sure, you love and support your daughter no matter what, but it’s your responsibility as a parent to protect your child, including keeping her from doing things that will be regrettable, harmful, or just wrong.
She obviously made a mistake and is very upset about it, making her keep that baby if she doesn’t want to would be unspeakably cruel. If you don’t want to drive her, fine. Go ahead and show that you don’t care about her anymore, burn that bridge. She’d be able to find another ride, but your prideful refusal to support her will hurt your relationship for the rest of your lives.
Abortion is murder! Make abortion illegal!
Have any of ya’ll consider the choice of MAYBE… Just MAYBE. talking to this 16yr and explaining that being blessed with this child is not only a blessing for them, but could also be a blessing for someone else.. adoption is a great thing. giving the chance of life to a baby & the chance for another family to have something they may not can achieve on their own. My cousin can not conceive, she is currently looking into adoption on a waiting list. Her and her husband have a great and stable environment for a child. It shows alot of maturity & responsibility to consider this ”Adoption” its a lot harder then just saying ” Screw this” and getting an abortion. Its not that Im againest abortion there are I’m sure certain reason this may be the best choice.. But its not the only one if you dont want the baby..
Uhm… if she decided she was old enough to have sex and accidentally got pregnant, then I guess she’d be old enough to find her own fucking way out of my house and to the abortion clinic herself. I’d rather see a baby go up for adoption because someone didn’t want it than to be aborted. They know what they’re doing when they have sex. No shit talking (towards me) necessary, it will not sway my opinion or make me care – just saying my two sense.
I would take her.
@grammarboy - Okay, but I don’t view an abortion to be the same as shooting someone. I apologize for not being specific enough, I guess. What I MEANT to say was that I would support her in making any decision that would be in her best interest, taking her future, thoughts and feelings into account. You may disagree with me, which is what this whole comment section has devolved into– whether or not a person is pro-life or pro-choice. To me, abortion and adoption are both perfectly viable options, so as long as she really thinks about the implications of either decision. Keeping the baby is a tough call for me– if that was what she felt she had to do, then like I said, I would support her to the best of my ability without raising her child for her. I know that there are teen moms who have turned out to be wonderful mothers, but I don’t think that the vast majority of teenagers would make suitable parents… I sure as hell wouldn’t have.
@millionofstars - It’s not as simple as ‘over and out’ in the case of an ectopic pregnancy. The embryo implants in one of the fallopian tubes. As it grows it puts pressure on the tube, which will rupture if the pregnancy is allowed to continue, causing the mother to bleed to death internally if she can’t get medical attention in time. Since there is no way to remove and implant the embryo in the uterus because it is too small, an ectopic pregnancy will never result in a live birth. It will never even become a baby.
I don’t know why christians get so angry when I bring up ectopic pregnancy, though I have had them argue that if the woman wasn’t so selfish she’d just allow herself to die because it’s god’s will. I think it’s far more selfish for her to allow herself to die if she has other children at home depending on her. Why should she die for something that will never live in the first place? Makes no sense to me.
The next phase of the argument is that women who have abortions because of complications are far less in number than women who do it out of ‘convenience’. The problem with this is, if it’s outlawed, women who need it to save themselves (for legitimate physical reasons) won’t have access to it.
@mortimerZilch - ”Why turn your daughter from a slut into a killer?”
Being new here, I am going to read this as the troll comment it sounds like.
@QuantumStorm - Well obviously when she has a baby, she’s an autonomous adult, not your child. She has to get a full-time job, her own apartment, and take care of her education and her child all by herself. What kind of superwoman 16-year-old can do all that? OMG, it’s impossible. You’re such a monster for expecting her to have the baby, who will probably die of neglect anyway.
But seriously, what kind of parents tell their daughter that she’s on her own if she gets into trouble as a teen? None I know.
I am all about making sure that my children are safe to the extent that I can. Sometimes they make decisions that I do not agree with. If my daughter was adamant that she did not want to continue her pregnancy, how could I let her go off to have a medical procedure done without knowing she would be safe? I don’t think that I could. I would have done everything in my power to convince her to continue the pregnancy but in the end…the decision would be hers. In the end, she would know that I love her just as much as I did the day before and that I would be there for her no matter what she decided.
My son and his girlfriend got pregnant at 16. Their daughter was born early and only lived for four minutes. She died in my son’s hands. This was a horrible lesson for them to live through and instead of keeping them from making the same mistake again, it thrust them in the opposite direction in an attempt to fill the void and cure the heartbreak that their daughter’s death left behind. They got pregnant a second time and now have a beautiful daughter.
In both cases, they chose life and I am proud of them for doing so. It is not an easy life. My granddaughter will be a year old in March. My son works full-time and they attend school at night in an effort to complete their high school education. These are two kids who thought they knew better than anything mom ever told them and are now seeing that mom (me) knew exactly what she was talking about and was not exaggerating any of the possible outcomes of having a child at such a young age.
Anyway, I guess the short answer is yes…I would drive her. As much as I would hate doing so, I would drive her.
@immoral_sensei - death. death of an innocent human being.
this guy sitting in the chair smoking a pipe must be a total idiot. tobacco duh.
@akarui_mitsukai - This is exactly how I feel. Christ would never leave her to walk alone so who are WE to do so? Amen! Your comments here have warmed me heart. Thank you for that.
@Saridactyl - opinions about abortion are not merely personal opinions…they are opinions about public policy and law: immoral policy, and unjustified law. morality requires Truth, you cannot have a personal morality – humans are all inter-connected, or haven’t you noticed, what people believe affects everyone, and therefore is important to the common good. No man – or fem thing – is an island unto themselves.
An honest real answer…I really don’t know what I would do.
Whether she wants to or not isn’t a question, she’s getting an abortion and I’m not only going drive her there I’m going stand there and watch the doctor suck that little bastard out of her.
@TheyCallHerEcho88 - I wasn’t saying that shooting someone is the same as getting an abortion, although I reckon the comparison is apt. I can’t imagine that a debate on abortion itself would get us anywhere, though, seeing as how it never does.
As long as there are loving parents in the picture, it’s about the best a kid can hope for.
@mtngirlsouth - And, as normal, you just go the rout that makes your position seem more correct to you. And you completely ignore anything that may prove otherwise.
You’ve just given a perfectly apt description of yourself, it’s called projection.
@ZombieMom_Speaks - Oh sorry I was not clear on what ‘over and out’ means. I meant I am done with this topic and moving on.
I am not Christian. I am Buddhist.
@thatlsk - Wow, you are disturbed. I hope you don’t actually have a daughter.
@TigersLovePepper - GOOD CALL on the Troll call. No non-troll is going to talk that way.
@TheyCallHerEcho88 - uh, I think maybe you responded to the wrong person, because I was never suggesting it should be mandated, maybe someone else was but it wasn’t me. It’s a personal choice within a family.
@DivaJyoti - *curtsies*
@QuantumStorm - I won’t quibble with your modifications of what I said, you may well be right. Actually I’m pretty impressed by your informed response.
Either way, I’m pro-choice for the first trimester, and of course, ectopic pregnancy at any point in time since it could kill the mother and the baby can’t grow in a fallopian tube, it will die. Ectopic pregnancy is very dangerous and requires immediate major surgery to remove the tube and all that, it’s not even medically considered an abortion.
An ectopic pregnancy, if the woman is lucky – enormous pain will be felt well within the first trimester, because otherwise that fallopian tube will explode and the woman could bleed to death. It’s incredibly dangerous, and no embryo could possibly develop into a baby within a fallopian tube.
@TigersLovePepper -
hey tig.
@grammarboy - I totally agree with you on that. Here’s something else that we can agree on, I’m sure: parents paying attention to their children, what they do, who they hang out with, where they go, etc. so that this kind of thing becomes less of a reality. It worked for me! Sure, I thought my mother was overbearing at the time, but I can see the value of it now.
I’d want her to have it, unless it harmed her. I know a lot of people (most family members) who can’t have children. Somebody out there could give that baby a good home.
@DivaJyoti
I saw that you responded to this comment that @DrummingMediocrity said: “I think all females should
take BC once they start menstruating” and I thought that you were agreeing with her on that point. I guess I should have responded to her, though. Anyway, I certainly wouldn’t have appreciated it if someone had shoved a pill down my throat when I was 11 (when I started menstruating… sorry if that’s TMI, but it goes to show that for some of us, it’s a very young age) that would increase my risk of stroke, heart attack, cancer, etc… particularly to prevent me from experiencing the consequences of an activity that I was not participating in.
@grammarboy - Please explain to me how I am disturbed sir or madam, should I be an irresponsible parent and let my 16 year old who clearly isn’t even smart enough to protect herself sexually to actually have a baby. Am I supposed to raise her child while she finishes school. People like you are what is wrong with this country, you make shows like 16 and pregnant popular with this ridiculous idea that children should be allowed to do what they want.
If my daughter wants to live under my roof, she’ll follow my rules and my rules are unless you are financially independent and therefore no longer depend on me for room and food then you’re not bringing a child into this world or my home.
If that makes me disturbed then so be it.
@mtngirlsouth - Stating someone has failed as a parent, is not the same thing as deciding not to offend God by refusing to help your daughter during an unwanted pregnancy.
@mortimerZilch - any other effects? People die all time.
@mortimerZilch - I mean like medical problems with the mom other than mental or something like that.
@QuantumStorm - Oh, for Pete’s sake! There’s a difference between condemning your own child for being immoral by “murdering” a grandchild (judging her morality) and saying doing so is failing as a parent. One means you believe your own daughter will not get into heaven and the other means I think that sucks that a mother would then alter her relationship with her own flesh and blood! I certainly ain’t claiming that means she isn’t getting into heaven. (That’s what I mean by judging here. People judge other people all the time, only God judges who is “moral” enough to get into heaven.)
@grammarboy - I’m sorry but any mother (who knows what it is like to be pregnant, give birth, and raise a child) who would then let her daughter’s decision to have an abortion affect their relationship has failed as a parent. I have three children. And if my daughter chose to have an abortion, I may not be happy about it, but it sure would not lead me to treat her differently. The decision is hers and hers alone (with consultation if necessary with the father) and it is not for me to act like she made the wrong decision and now I’m going to punish her by judging her unworthy of the same relationship with me. That’s messed up, hypothetically speaking… since honestly none of us knows exactly how we’d react.
Some of these people are being morons saying that if she was irresponsible enough, she should keep the kid.
Uh, are you fucking kidding me? You want to see your daughter struggle for the rest of her life trying to put money together because she had sex once? That is so closed-minded, some of you people sicken me.
@mtngirlsouth - Sorry but calling another woman a bitch isn’t classy.
@belleorecluses - Why thank you for liking me and my bitchiness. lol I can’t imagine punishing my child like that for choosing something that is legal.
Of course I would! It’s the compassionate thing to do.
@thatlsk - Look at the second page of comments. @RebeccaPMiller commented about someone she knew actually doing as you suggest. You don’t have a legal right to force your daughter to get an abortion, for one thing. For another thing, that’s child abuse. I wonder what other sorts of things might prompt you to mutilate your child.
If you’re going to dive into personal insults, you really ought to do your homework. I don’t think that minors should be allowed to do whatever they want. My children will live by my rules for as long as they’re under my roof, and that includes not having sex. But guess what? I don’t have the ability to control their every thought and action. Teens are stubborn and often rebellious. They do lots of things you don’t want them to. It’s easy to be a great parent if your child is perfect, but your parenting is largely defined by how you handle the disappointments and problems.It would be better for you to kick her out and leave her to fend for herself than to force the abortion on her. But better yet would be actually loving your child. You don’t have to approve of her choices to take care of her when she makes mistakes.
@TiredSoVeryTired - God doesn’t, in fact, judge us by whether we’re moral enough. No one is, after all. We’re judged only by whether we have accepted His authority and the grace only He can cover us with.
@grammarboy - Well, then if God doesn’t judge whether we’re moral enough, certainly neither should parents! If abortion is a sin, then that sin belongs to the child. Why commit an injustice yourself by letting that affect your relationship with your own child? I simply don’t understand that as a mother myself.
@Saridactyl - Argument in a good way. You state a position. I challenge you to defend it based on a position I lay out. Argument on these issues is not only good. It’s necessary. It’s logical nonsense because it doesn’t stand up to how people (I’m assuming you fall into this group) think on any other issues. I know that sounds as if I’m being antagonistic, and if it does, it’s because I’m trying to provoke thought on this subject. We have a fanciful logic that only applies if someone wants to have an abortion. I’m trying to expose this, so yes this is an argument. You stated an opinion, and I challenged it to prove that it is not thought out properly. When the issue of abortion comes up, it’s politically correct to throw reason and logic out the window and start to chant the rhetoric that has been drilled into us. ”A woman has a right to choose.” “What if she was raped?” ”It’s her body and so what if she wants to have a few cells removed?” In the end, they are all just excuses to allow us to justify to ourselves the act of killing our children to make our lives more convenient. OUR OWN CHILDREN! We spew hate at Casey Anthony b/c we could see a picture of the child she more than likely killed, but we find ways to justify it when it can be hidden behind closed doors b/c noone ever knew the child existed.
No… and that’d be final.
@xjordano0x - you know, on the flip side, I know lots of young women who got pregnant at ages nearing fourteen, and have really led a great life with their child.
@TiredSoVeryTired - I think you totally missed my point. You yourself said you might not be happy about it, so clearly you don’t believe in just blindly congratulating children on every stupid thing they do in order to keep them close. No one is talking about shunning. It’s possible to be displeased without mistreating her. For goodness’ sake, telling a child that she’s wrong isn’t the same as telling her that you don’t love her. In fact, I’d say it’s the opposite. You show your daughter that you love her by holding her accountable instead of letting her get away with whatever she wants and running herself into the ground.
It’s not just her decision. She may have the legal option to make the decision, but she’s a minor in your care, and she’s your responsibility. Legally, she can have sex with everyone she meets, join a Neo-Nazi group, fail out of school, eat nothing but candy, and do all sorts of other horrible things. I don’t see how that removes your duty as a parent. It’s your job to at least try protecting her and steering her in the right direction, and yes, God will judge you.
@grammarboy - THIS!
@TheyCallHerEcho88 - That’s understandable. I certainly don’t think anyone should be forced, but I think the option (both of them) should be open to the children, and parents’ dogmas shouldn’t prevent them from getting said services. Then again, that’s idealistic. I wouldn’t trust the government to actually dispense such things so I am not going around preaching that I’m right and anyone else is wrong. If it were my daughter, I would want to be very open with her and I’d encourage her to start birth control asap, particularly if she were planning or becoming sexually active (or non-sexual reasons, such as bad menstrual cramps, PCOS diagnosis, etc.).
DUH. the BABY DIES! or “minor” human if you prefer – dies…chopped up.
I would never allow my 16-year-old to have an abortion, if I had one. If she doesn’t want the child, she can give him/her up for adoption. There are so many women (and men) out there that are dying for a baby, but can’t get pregnant. Teaching your teenager how to take responsibility for their actions, and for the life they created, is what this world needs. But I would never encourage them to keep the baby just because they were dumb enough to get pregnant; another life is involved, an innocent one.
@mtngirlsouth - Wow! You’re calling names? That totally makes everything you’re saying mean a lot more. Not. You look pretty old, so the way you’re acting is completely inapropriate. I would hate to be your child since apparently there’d be a “rift” in the relationship. In a real relationship — wether it be parent and child or boyfriend and girlfriend, you LOVE them for their flaws and even if they make mistakes you still support them. If you put blame on your child and make them feel bad, can you really say you’ve never made mistakes? Absolutely not, so if your child made a mistake, she should be able to have an abortion. It’s her body — and I’m pro-choice.
ALSO, it’s not murder, but that will always be a controversial topic.. nonetheless everything you write absolutely disgusts me.
AND MY WORD, these comments about “dumb enough to get pregnant” You know what? Some people go through ALL the precautions I know a few people who were on the pill, used condoms and somehow still got pregnant. Sure, the best way to not get pregnant is to not have SEX. BUT, we all know people are going to have sex.
no way. Abortion is murder.
Of course I would! I honestly can’t see why anyone wouldn’t!
I’m a seventeen year old girl. I’d call myself responsible. I take my oral contraceptive on time every day and use a condom every time I have intercourse… no exceptions. If I somehow got pregnant on this system, I would hope my parents would support me, as abortion would be my first choice.
Give us kids some credit?
I know there are a LOT of pregnant teenagers but I also know a lot of us do use protection.
@mtngirlsouth - If my mother was anything like you are, I would have definitely wanted to kill myself/would have developed psychological issues. And I probably would not have been nearly as compassionate or successful as I am today. You are supposed to love your child unconditionally, no matter what mistakes they make; everyone makes mistakes. Daughters need their mother’s support and love, because sometimes, it’s all they have.
@QuantumStorm - I do know the law sort of says men have no say, but basically because aggressive men have tried to put their point across it is a proven legal thing that men have relatively little say in the matter.
But they do have a sort of option to man up and assist the woman for her decision.
Some fathers of 16 year old girls may want a bit of “say” in the matter, I believe the age of adulthood for women is different for different states. Let’s just say if the girl is an adult, both mother and father sort of have to fall back to the support position.
I would hope that she would not tell me and have a girlfriend take her.
@fool_in_the_rain121289 - 1, I didn’t say I would stop loving her. 2. If you had a clue about love you would know that to love someone is not to condone their every move.
@yourloveisfree - She is a moron. I don’t really care if you approve. But just hold on to that to make yourself feel more “righteous” or whatever it is you tell yourself to make your stance on brutally murdering the unborn seem more moral. And, once again, you also have no idea about what love means. It’s okay if I disgust you, your cold black heart and blatant selfish attitude disgust me also, so I guess we’re even.
Nope, she’s going to carry that baby full term and either adopt or keep it.
No, I would not drive my daughter to go get an abortion (unless the doctors say her life is in danger, then we’re talking about something else entirely). I would do all I could to talk her out of it. Offering to either raise the child myself or support her in putting it up for adoption. But in no way would I help enable her to do something that I consider murder.
My mother did. We both realized that I had too much going for me to let a baby at 17 ruin things for me.
Drive her? No, fuck that. I’m getting the Dyson and we’re taking care of the problem HOME-BREW STYLE.
@RazielV - Or a clotheshanger. OLD SCHOOL.
@RazielV - haha!! You know a Dyson would do it too!!!
Yes, I would.
She’s 16 years old; how can she care for a baby when she’s still a baby herself?
I would support my child after having lengthy discussions about all of her options. I would want her to know that regardless of what she chose that I would support her and be there for her. I couldn’t imagine how scared I would’ve been if I had been pregnant at 16 and I wouldn’t want my own child to face that alone.
I would never have an abortion for myself, but it wouldn’t be my body or my choice in this case.
@XoGingerSnapps - Not only would it suck the little bastard out clean, but keep everything else tidy and germ free. Every problem solved.
@bloggicus_maximus - We could keep it in the closet for special occasions!
Hugs. I am glad that your parents were there for you in your time of what had to have been a rough time.
@Rebekka Holman@facebook -
@RazielV - @bloggicus_maximus - A “mysterious” gunshot wound to the head would also work. Post birth abortion ftw!
@Rob_of_the_Sky - I support really, really, really late-term abortions.
If my 16 year old daughter got pregnant, I’d prefer if she got an abortion. I don’t want to be a grandma, and I sure don’t want to support her kid.
Yes. It’s her body and her life.
I had an abortion, it’s thee worst thing to do. I don’t care what any of you say. For the rest of my life, and I’m only 19, I have to live with the fact I killed my child. A baby is such a wonderful being. Yeah at the young age of 16 it seems like a lot to handle, but when the nurse hands you your baby for the first time, all your thoughts about “how am I going to raise this” turn to ” how did I make this incredible person, it’s beautiful.” My daughter is at the age of wanting a sibling, it kills me knowing she could have one if I wasn’t selfish.
no
@firetyger - I wish my parents would have been as supportive as you are. I was anxious to have a baby, a second one, but they kept threatening me….. More parents should be like you.
@Babyboomerjill - Why? Wouldn’t you rather know what’s going on in your daughter’s life? And if you’re against abortion, wouldn’t you rather be able to talk to her about it and perhaps try to guide her toward an option you see more fit?
I think there’s a major disconnect between parents and teenagers these days that causes for some serious and harmful social and familial dysfunction. I know as a child, a teenager, and now as an adult, my parents knew absolutely nothing about me and currently still know very little compared to what my friends and my fiance knows. I don’t like it that way and would prefer to have been able to have better relationships with my parents, especially now that my father has died. Thankfully, I was independent and was a fairly well-mannered and level-headed kid: I didn’t do the “normal” teenage stuff like drinking or partying or drugs. But I know that after I started having sex at 18 years old, I wish my parents would have been available to me emotionally to be there for me, especially when I had two miscarriages (at 18 and 19). They didn’t and still do not know to this day, though most of my closer peers do.
I would give anything to have been able to trade the ability to communicate with my peers with the absence of communication with my parents at that time. Parents are supposed to help their children through life and be there for them as much as they can be, especially since their children are often the ones who reciprocate later in life as parents get older. I think a lot of parents forget that their children aren’t just fixtures in the home they dump money into; we’re human beings too, and we have lives and secrets that burden us.
@TigersLovePepper - I totally agree with you part of being a parent is not judging and being supportive
@yourloveisfree - The ‘dumb enough to get pregnant’ crowd also isn’t taking into account rape or incest. Nothing says ‘dumb bitch had it coming and must now handle the consequences’ like being raped and impregnated by your father. As if no matter what happens, it’s somehow the girl’s fault for getting knocked up in the first place.
@grammarboy - If she wants to remain in my home under my care and with my love she’ll have the abortion, if she doesn’t want to, she’ll get the fuck out! While I can’t force her she will know how I feel and if she doesn’t like it, she’ll leave and expect no support from me.
Abortion is such a touchy subject… There is no right or wrong answer in my opinion, just a whole lot of grief, confusion and heartache either way you go. What I do know is that from a positive perspective, whether or not you do drive her or don’t, a person can always learn and grow from their failures and mistakes with proper support, guidance, and love from their parents. But the important thing here is also education… because its the responsibility of the parent to properly teach their children about sex and its consequences when you do it at an early age… “fool me once, shame on you… fool me twice, shame on me…”
@stayclassynevertrashyy - That is facing up the the responsibility, you moron! Let me guess? you do not actually have a uterus do you?
@RazielV - YES. Instead of beating your chick with a clotheshanger, stab her cooch with it. MULTI PURPOSE HOME APPLIANCES.
@DivaJyoti - Are you also going to be there for your kid when she decides to have a baby to keep and when she finally gets to hold it in her arms she thinks of the one just like this that she was willing to let it be killed simply because she didn’t want it then?How would you comfort the heartbreak?The depression?Thing is, the depression would hit right away,especially if she saw a newborn soon after.That baby was a life even though after a couple of weeks it just looks like a blob.Only someone heartless would not be torn up about it after the fact.It breaks my heart that people feel that way about unborn babies.I could say more but I’ll stop.It’s just plain sad.
OMG that made me laugh! @RazielV -
I would strongly advocate putting the child up for adoption. The psychological scars of the alternative are not pretty- I’ve seen plenty of girls and women who have been through abortions- including late-term.
SO many people commenting right now are going to end up being real shitty parents.
And yes, I would take her. I would be more than happy to. Some people on here say they would never support and help their daughter get an abortion, well I’m the complete opposite. If I had a daughter who decided to keep the baby, I would honestly not want to help her raise it. If she wants to keep it, she can take care of it herself and she better not expect my help.
@endure2theend - I don’t give a shit about a bunch of cells. If I did I wouldn’t masturbate as much as I do.
@RazielV - You’re disgusting.
@RazielV - Well,your sperm and your sperm and a womans egg becoming one are just a bit different,but hey,you go right ahead and be brain dead
@endure2theend - What? Are you implying masturbation kills brain cells?
@bloggicus_maximus - Where do you screwballs come from anyway?Grow up man
@RazielV - You are a bunch of cells.
@endure2theend - I’m not sure I understand the question. Are you suggesting that I, a Very Important Person, am in fact a ‘screwball’? I am not a baseball pitch.
@bloggicus_maximus - I must apologize to the baseball pitch by calling you that,I didn’t mean to offend it.Now go play with yourself like that Raziel dude and I’ll leave this subject alone.
@endure2theend - Nahh, I have a girlfriend. I’m pretty well taken care of in that department. Nice try though!!!
@RazielV - So do I. I also think it should apply to kids who aren’t your own, especially when it comes to the guy who got the hypothetical 16 year old girl pregnant in the first place.
@endure2theend - VENI! VENI EVERYWHERE!
@Semper_medusa - Put 2 and 2 together.
@bloggicus_maximus - I have a woman too, douche. Doesn’t mean I can’t polish my own knob once in awhile
@endure2theend - And how exactly will I be brain-dead? Considering how well you “discuss” things, I’d have to say with great pomp that I will never be on your level. Thank the deities I wasn’t cursed with a lack of humour or false sense of reality. I might’ve burned down a few buildings were I in your shoes. <3
@Pink_TeaCups - AND YET YOU ADORE ME!
@RazielV - Well yeah.
@bloggicus_maximus - Or you give great helmet.
@RazielV - She does. o_o
@RazielV - @bloggicus_maximus - Why the fuck do you two numb-nuts have girlfriends, yet I’ll die forever alone??
(not sure if that grammar was correct but meeeeeeeeeh)
@RazielV - I understood the joke if that’s what you mean, but I still have a valid point.
@Pink_TeaCups - You won’t die alone! I pwomise! I guess my natural good looks and clever uses of all sexual connotations, mixed with my rapscallion shenanigans makes me one sought after catch?
@Semper_medusa - My point is that I really don’t care about me as much as I probably should. I’m fully formed as opposed to an embryo which is literally just a mass of cells. So while you’re technically correct, your point is irrelevant to the major thrust of my joke/argument If I’m being expected to be serious about this dead horse topic, I do not support fetal abortions. Only embryonic.
@Melcity - I’m sorry that they weren’t there for you
I was blessed to have parents that told me whether through decisions of my own or rape that I came to be pregnant, they would gladly raise the child for me, help me raise the child, or help me put it up for adoption. When my daughters are old enough to understand, I intend to tell them the exact same thing.
Too many view babies as a burden. I view them as a blessing. My cousin who had her daughter at sixteen and who is now entering law school told me she is so glad she didn’t get an abortion.
Of course I would.
@Pink_TeaCups - It’s my roguish good looks and darkly charismatic presence. Course, it could also be the fact I speak three languages.
@bloggicus_maximus - MORE LIEK FGT
@RazielV - Hey now, there’s no reason to insult the alphabet like that.
Abortion is a surgical procedure and no matter how I felt about it if I knew my child was going to do it with or without my permission I’d definately be the one to take her and make sure she got the best care possible. I wouldn’t like it and I’d let her know how awful an idea it is but in the end I wouldn’t entrust her care to anyone else no matter how I felt about it personally. Thankfully, my girls are well educated concerning sexual things and they love babies as much as I do; so even though they’ll probably never be pregnant, unless they chose to be, abortion wouldn’t really be a likely option for them.
@mtngirlsouth – lol
@grammarboy - I’d rather burn in hell for eternity than cause my daughter further mental anguish by telling her she is wrong for choosing an abortion. I will tell her she is wrong if she steals money, beats her brother, cheats on a test or fails a class. But if I’m driving her to get an abortion, she and I have already discussed the issue and she has come to what she believes is the best decision for her (in this case she’s 16). At 16, I was capable of deciding whether I wanted an abortion or not. I don’t personally like premarital sex and have taught my children the values I deem important. But in a life decision like this, I can only discuss the issue (without judging her) with my child and help her to come to a decision good for her. If she arrives to the conclusion that abortion is best for her, it is not my place as a woman to judge my own daughter like that. Will I be happy if she chooses an abortion? No! Will it change or cause a rift in our relationship? No! Would it cause a huge rift if I condemned her after she secretly had an abortion? Hell, yeah she would hate me and duly so because I failed her as a mother and I’ve failed another woman. That would be sad and I’d rather burn in hell.
I have 2 teen daughters…and I’d drive them, and bring them home.
But I’d probably cry while doing so.
@TiredSoVeryTired - <3333333
@Mangonese - my sons are all grown now and I had no daughters but I told the boys that if there was ever a baby that I wanted them to let me know since I would be the granny. thanks for your comment on my statement
@mtngirlsouth - Apparently I’m being self-righteous and have a ‘cold black heart’ because I support pro-choice. I support women having a SAY over what happens to their body. There are multiple things that could have happened including RAPE that an abortion would be appropriate. Coming from a psychological standpoint, you’d really make your child endure birthing a baby from her rapist? Think about that, and maybe you have … you call names and you think you’re right just as much as I do, except I’m NOT calling names. I’m simply saying I do not agree with what you’re saying and I find your shallow minded view on this subject disgusting.
@mtngirlsouth - Also, there are many forms of LOVE not just YOUR idea is correct. So “love” isn’t making your child keep a baby she doesn’t want to have. Regardless of how she came to be pregnant either. People are giving you shit for your comment because the way you voiced it made you sound arrogant and sheltered. Maybe that’s not how you wanted to come off and I’m not trying to be a bitch to you, but the reason I was so irritated and angry at your response is because you didn’t seem to take into consideration at all the other circumstances a pregnancy could have come from. Just having a baby and giving it up for adoption .. with that still comes a lot of mental, physical and emotional trauma obviously which I’m sure you know. Clearly there are a lot of view points people have regarding to this and not one person will be specifically right. So — I’m going to be the bigger person and not call you names or fight, I just put out there my view as you did.
@ZombieMom_Speaks - Exactly! Exactly this is so frustrating to me. Because I realize we all have our own views but I am proudly pro-choice, now I don’t think teens going out and being irresponsible and getting pregnant and having lots of abortions is something that should happen. Although, if they were that immature to let it happen then would you really want to force them to be a parent or birth a child to give up for adoption? I wouldn’t. Psychological and emotional damage would be done. Even with Rape, I would be furious if someone made that victim keep the child even to give it up for adoption would be an ever constant reminder of a terrible incident… you know, and I cannot believe people are saying that they need to “live with their mistake” and its their “punishment” a child isn’t a punishment.
The views I’m reading that are upsetting me on here are all that it’s the GIRL’S fault (like you said) and that and just in general they all seem very moralistic and religious which I don’t have a problem with because I have morals, but I take into account the situations that could happen. I mean we all make mistakes and clearly abortion is a touchy subject, but still a very necessary right for a woman.
@TiredSoVeryTired - I love your comment reply. Honestly, I think you have the right attitude as a mother (if you are/if you will be).
You would keep your relationship with your child life long because parents don’t realize that they are making the gap further apart with their child when they aren’t willing to be there. <3
@yourloveisfree - I’m the mother of a 14-year-old girl. I’ve given birth three times, I know how hard it is. I look at my child and I think in two years, could I punish her for choosing an abortion? Hell, no! Oh, the horrible decision making and worries and hard thoughts she had to think to get to making the decision of having an abortion, and no, hell no there would be no rift in our relationship. How dare a mother do that to her own child. Abortion is a legal option with sound arguments for why some people believe in them. There is no sound argument for killing a born child.
@yourloveisfree - Bottom line, I think mothers who want to punish their daughter for having a secret abortion by letting it cause a rift in their relationship are selfish. These mothers are worried about their own salvation and would do anything to “get into heaven” including condemning their own child. If they truly believe their child would go to hell for an abortion, the best course of action is to pray, pray, and pray all day that God allows their child in one day, NOT to change their relationship with their own child.
I do not think making a child suffer for the mistakes of the teenager is the way to act. So yes I would drive my daughter to the clinic. Afterwards I would schedule to get her some birth control. Because children should not feel they are mistakes, or unloved. Just saying.
@Writer2009 - Oh great, a child born to a mother who resents her and a family who is ashamed. At least let her give it up for adoption so the child has a chance to be part of a loving family.
I would drive here there if abortion were HER choice. But first I may suggest planned parenthood or an adoption agency just so she knows about all of her alternatives.
Not without talking to her about her other options first. She made a mistake, and I would understand that, but I wouldn’t want her regretting two mistakes. Ultimately, it will be her decision, but I would try to convince her to put the child up for adoption instead. This is all hypothetical, of course, considering I don’t even have a child yet and won’t for quite a few more years.:)
Yes of course. Why turn your back on your loved one when they need you the most?
I read write up after write up on folks who have kids for the wrong reasons and wind up dumping them after they are already screwed up. Sometimes an abortion is the more responsible choice, unfortunately.
@xjordano0x - It’s funny that many people have a problem with letting a girl struggle to make ends meet… But for the most part, people don’t have a problem with that when it’s the dude paying child support. They call these dudes “dead beats” if they fail.
not after i tried my best to talk about the positives and negatives of either decision. she needs to know all the answers before she makes a firm decision.
@grammarboy - she would only be on her own if she chooses to have the baby. Make an adult decision than live an adult life.
If she was young and came to that conclusion on her own, I would drive her. I believe it is her choice, just as I think that it would be my choice to have an abortion. I hope that everyone would respect that it is the parents (of the unborn child) to make the ultimate decision.