March 29, 2012
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Getting Into Heaven
Imagine you just died and you are standing at the gates of heaven.
Now imagine that Saint Peter is standing at the gate of heaven and he asks you “Why should I let you into heaven?”
What would you answer?
Imagine you just died and you are standing at the gates of heaven.
Now imagine that Saint Peter is standing at the gate of heaven and he asks you “Why should I let you into heaven?”
What would you answer?
Comments (92)
Heaven needs more redheads.
Because God keeps His promises.
i don’t deserve it but my sins are paid for, and Peter isn’t the one guarding the gate
Normally my answer to that type of question is, “Why not?” but I don’t think I’d want to risk it in this particular case.
I want to know what YOU would say.
I’d say, “Come on Petey, let me in. I ain’t done nuthin’ bad like attack a Hispanic neighborhood watch leader, punching him and shoving his face into the concrete while high on dope. Shit, I never even beat up the school bus driver.”
I don’t have an answer for you St. Peter. I don’t deserve it.
i’d tell him to look in that damn book of his and read my history. i’m a good soul!
because I give good blowjobs.
What about u, Dan?
@lucylwrites - yeah, I think Dan would say “because I bring great entertainment in the form of mass hysteria” , obviously evidence of great piety.
I am a believer in the salvation of Jesus he paid the price for me so I don’t have to worry about not going to Heaven
I’d say: I’m on the right track baby I was born this way.
Because I asked you into my heart and believe in your gift of grace and forgiveness.
I read the book, but it’s nice to see the movie as well.
Here’s 20 bux.
Well, given that I was a son of the devil and did his will, on my own I can’t offer any good reason. But I don’t have to. God adopted me as a son. And sons are heirs — even if they don’t deserve it – yet those God adopts, He also graciously clears their wicked record and counts Christ’s righteousness on their behalf. In short, God, and only God, can make the undeserving deserving. And yes, the Easter story is that God has already paid the price — the check cleared. http://vimeo.com/20960385
Entering Heaven is on my bucket list. Wait..
I’d just flash him my tits.
Oh noes, I’d say nice to meet you please say hi to the Lord for me and start heading down for sure…so not ready to go to heaven, I’m so very imperfect.
because god wants me :p
I voted for Rick Santorum and think Obamacare is an act of Satan. Poor and sick people should be left to die if they are sick like Jesus instructed so I could be blessed with that second wave runner I has been eyeing because I was a good Christian before I had my heart attack.
I have no idea. I feel as of right now I don’t deserve it… At the same time I don’t want to be nothing…
I’d tell St. Peter that I asked lots of questions on Xanga, and it generated a lot of discussion.
Because Jesus took the wheel and steered me in the right direction.
@mrswhatserface - The same way women get into exclusive clubs with a line that never moves!
Because I’d say my ancestors MADE him the saint that he is. You can’t saint yourself can ya? CAN YA!?
AND IF YA COULD, WHY DON’T I MAKE MYSELF A SAINT RIGHT NOW AND WALK IN THE VIP DOOR!
Because Jesus is my homie
hmm because I am a devil. So you guys should turn me into an angel
there are worse pple than me
Great question!
NOW LET ME IN!
Good Post Dan,
I would say, “I am saved by Jesus name. Please oh Jesus save me!”
According to scripture: Romans 10:9-11 & Romans 10:13
“Because yours and my Savior Jesus spoke through the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Romans that,”
verse 9 ” ‘If you confess with your mouth “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 for it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and you are saved. 11 As the scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame. Romans 10:9-11.
Romans 10:13 For, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.
This will allow me to avoid the 2nd death. How will you avoid the 2nd death?
Romans 10:14-15. 14 How then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one in whom they have not heard?And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15 And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”
This is serious people. You are not a Christian unless you are a Crist-follower. You are not a Christ follower if you do not study the words of Christ in the bible. Meditate on that one.
God Bless,
Brother RobertLeeRE
because i’m a human and god loves ALL humans.
Because Jesus paid the price.
since I’m a night owl, I’d rather hang out in hell. the ambiance with dark lighting there and the red hot lava river decor are more my style
satan seems more fun to be around. singing hymns and wearing white togas with sandals is boring.
I am a sinner and I don’t deserve to be in heaven. But I have accepted God’s gift of salvation paid for by the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ, who then conquered death itself through His resurrection.
Oh, you know why.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYws8biwOYc
Because Jesus died for my sins
I’ve already been to hell
What are you asking me for? Ask your boss… Now can we talk about this pope thing?
You’re hitting up old Evangelism Explosion materials for blog fodder now?
I need god… XD
I would say, “Us Jews don’t have to answer to you.”
“Hey Peter. I see that you are a reasonable angel. I know you’ve been eyeing a new set of wings over there. You take care of me, and I’ll do what I can to make that happen. Are we good, Pete?”
“Because since I realized Jesus loved and died for me, I have been trying to live out my love for Him. To live in a way that honors Him and shines Him to people, letting them know that He loves them, too. As much as He loves me. I don’t deserve Heaven by any means of myself, St. Peter. It’s all because of Jesus taking my sins upon himself so that I could have a chance at a real life, and choose Heaven for myself.”
Well, I can not earn my way to heaven. I joined God’s family through baptism and my iniquities were washed away by the blood sacrifice of my savior (and the Lord’s only begotten son) Jesus Christ. Perhaps I can point to actions which reflect my resolve, but the Lord should know the reality in my heart that I long to see God’s face.
Because Jesus died for me, and I’m trusting Him.
Imagine you have a mind capable of discerning bullshit from fact…
Bah. Nevermind.
Because I brought enough chocolate for everybody!
Heaven is my home already and Saint Peter is there too; but he isn’t the gate keeper, nope, just another unworthy resident there because of the grace of God.
Because I followed Jesus’s teachings more than most of the people who actually believed in him.
That’s a good one too..assuming there is a Heaven…take care…hugs..Lee
i would say no thank you
I’m Asian, why not?
HEaven? I thought this was front row seats to have dinner with Dan!
I’d say, “Before I take a step into heaven, I first need to know who else you are letting in. Are you letting in confessed and forgiven child molesters who murdered their victims so they wouldn’t get caught? Are forgiven rapists let in? What about serial killers who have begged for forgiveness? What about Hindus? Muslims? Jews? Wiccans? Are those who are righteous but are atheist let in?”
And if St. Peter says that heaven has child molesters, child murderers, rapists, and serial killers but no Hindus, no Jews, no Muslims, no Wiccans, and no righteous Atheists… well then I’ll politely tell him he shouldn’t let me into a heaven that forgives a rapist, but sees no value in righteous people. Hopefully there’s a holding tank for good people who aren’t bad enough for hell, cuz that would be where all the cool people are at!
Because if…”I and my fellow human beings did not believe in you… you would not exist so therefore you should show us some love and respect and let us in”…I am not completely sure that would work.
because I tried to be a good person and I’m a big fan of the movie Jesus Christ Superstar!
haha I do consider myself Christian, but I am a big fan of that movie, I don’t even know why haha
That’s not heaven – its Hell! LOL!
If you’re getting into Heaven – you’ll just get in – they won’t be playing 50 questions or poking you with pitch forks to see if you qualify.
Jesus won my heaven by his substitutionary death on the cross.
Because everyone deserves that chance.
I’d say, “Oops! Sorry, wrong heaven.”
because I have a crush on Jesus
@DrummingMediocrity - Best answer ever!!!
i would just flash him a little boob. that’ll get me right in
I would tell him to shut the fuck up, and get his fat ass out of my lord Lucifer’s chair.
@NightCometh - Ah, Longinus, my hero!
You should let me in because i have repented my sins i know that i wasn’t a good girl all my life but i did whati could for my family.
I’d imagine Peter has far more important things to do in heaven than stand at the gate
When I get to heaven, I will see Jesus Christ, my best friend and Savior. I know I’m getting in because He died for me: I just hope He’ll be proud of what I did with His gift.
If I find myself standing before the pearly gates, chances are, I’m just having a bad acid trip.
@vi3ts3xs3y -
“
I’m Asian, why not?”
Because Asian religions like Tibetan Buddhism and Jainism are more moral and practically less ignorant than the bullshit of Christianity.
He that has the Son has life.
@Pickwick12 - He died for you? He was betrayed by his fellow Jews. Such is no surprise though. Remember, they betrayed millions of their own in the 1930s and 1940s.
@Celestial_Teapot - *ROTFLMAO @ Asian ‘religion’*
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Trick question. This St. Peter person wouldn’t be at the gates of heaven greeting anyone. That’s not his job.
@Rob_of_the_Sky - Cheap bastard.
Because I accepted Jesus as my Savior and my name is written in the Book of Life.
@Celestial_Teapot – LOL HAHAHA damn
I’d hope St. Peter doesn’t have to ask and just says “Come on in! Grab a plate the buffet line starts to your left! And there are some special people waiting to see you!”
I’m here to invest in a nice patch of cloud…just need a looksie. You and me…we could start up a Dunkin Donuts…how does that sound?
That bullshit would never happen because heaven isn’t real you dumbass!
Heaven needs a good person like me.
I would only ask him to pray for me in the hopes that Christ would let me in, in spite of my sinfulness.
@Ancient_Scribe - In the hopes? Where is your faith? God said that all who believe on His son Jesus SHALL have everlasting life. Not might, maybe, or perhaps. When you trust your life with God and follow his instructions, what’s the worry?
@Ork58 - Faith, hope and love shall remain, and love is the greatest (1 Cor. 13:13); and please don’t get me wrong! I very firmly love God, I very firmly have faith in Christ’s life, passion, death and resurrection, and I have a firm hope as well in God’s mercy and love. But since I am not my own judge nor do I have the keys to heaven, I do not feel for one instant that I can presume heaven; rather I can only have faith that heaven is open to me, hope that I shall receive it as a gift and grace from God, and continue to grow in love for God, sinner though I am.
I would say that I have a good soul, and a big heart. I haven’t always been a good person, but I have learned from my mistakes, and I have changed myself for the better. I’m a good person, and I believe that actions speak louder than words. I always do my best to do the right thing, and to do right by others. If that doesn’t get me into heaven, then fuck you, St. Peter.
Can you not see this flesh and blood suit I’m wearing? I’m covered dude!
@xXxlovelylollipop - We all are imperfect.(Romans 3:23) That’s the point. (Ephesians 2:8,9) It’s a free gift. (Romans 6:23) All you need is to ask. (Romans 10:9) Simple!
@MommyMarty22 - We all are imperfect.(Romans 3:23) That’s
the point. (Ephesians 2:8,9) It’s a free gift. (Romans 6:23) All you
need is to ask. (Romans 10:9) Simple! I know same answer I just gave…
Thanks Dan…
Peter, I accepted Jesus as my Savior, knowing He took all my sin and paid the price on the cross. He died, He was buried, and He rose again for me. I confessed my sin, my need of Him, and yes, I have failed, but He paid the price for me in the past, the present, and the future.
I would say – WAKE UP!! I am dreaming about a fairy tale that my parents told me! And because desperate Christians, whose personal income are dependent on keeping magic and mythology alive in the the weak, the old, and the mentally challenged