I noticed on yahoo news that someone dealt with the important issue of “how often do you change your sheets?”  Here is the link:  Link

The article mentioned dust mites and their feces getting on your pillow. 

According to the article, some people wash their sheets every 3-4 weeks and some go longer.

I am pretty sure those people are from xanga.

How often do you change your sheets on your bed?

Imagine for a moment you need a kidney transplant in order to save your life.

Who is most likely to give you one of his/her kidneys?

If you people only wash your towel once a week, it makes me wonder what else you let go.

How often do you shower/bath?

I was reading the pulse of Alex and he asked “How many times do you use your shower towel before you wash it?”  Here is the link:  Link

I was amazed at how many people use their towel multiple times before they washed it.  Some people said they washed their towel once a week.  Others said they used their towel 3-4 times before they washed it.  Some even answered once or twice a month.

I use my towel only once.  We have a bunch of towels (probably 50 or more) and there are five of us.  I use one towel each night after a bath and I use a towel in the morning for shaving, brushing my teeth and fixing my hair.  So typically I will use at least two towels a day.

How many times do you use your shower towel before you wash it?

My wife was talking about how she hates her job at the preschool. 

She said she would love a job at the local nursing home.  I told her the job would suck.  I told her she would have to wipe people’s butts.  She said she does that for kids all the time.  She said it would be no different for older people.

Could you wipe a person’s butt for a living?
                                       
                                                              

If we decide to keep the kitten, what should we name him?

I am in another kitten dilemma.  The neighbor found a new kitten in their garage. 

The dad said he was allergic to kittens.  So my son brought him home.

If we send him to the humane society, he will probably be put to death if he is not adopted.  If I just put him back outside, he might die.

My kids want to adopt him but he will one day become a cat.

Should I take the kitten to the humane society?
                       
                                                                  

I think everyone has a weight that makes them feel fat. 

It is that weight you know you can’t go over.  It is the weight that once you go over, you know you need to start losing weight.

What is the weight that makes you feel fat?

Last night my oldest son and his friends stayed out a little late.

One of the parents called me at around 9:00 p.m. and told me his daughter wasn’t home yet.  I told him that the kids were out and they would probably be home soon.  The parent attacked me and told me I was a clueless parent and then told me some things about my son.  I told him I already knew everything about my son because I just listened to him.

He called me again and told me that he wanted me to tell the kids to come home.  I told him I thought that the kids probably knew he was calling everywhere for them and that he was attacking them.  So I thought that the kids would probably stay out later just because of his attacks.  I told him he should just communicate that he loved his daughter and that she needed to come home and then hug her when she came into the house and they would discuss it the next morning.  He hung up on me.

A police officer came to my home at 2:00 in the morning and asked me where the kids were.  I told him I didn’t know but if the father just called his daughter and told her he loved her and that he wanted her to come home, she would come home. 

I explained to him that my son had no curfew on Friday nights because he is 18. 

So I called my son and told him I loved him in front of the cop and told him to come home and to tell all the other kids to come home.  They came home immediately.

After the kids came home, I hugged my son and we talked about it today. 

About 30 minutes after they came home, the other parent called me and left a voice message attacking me and telling me I was a horrible Christian (he goes to my church).

I thought it was interesting that he didn’t realize that all of the kids came home at my command and I hugged my child when he came through the door.

I am pretty sure his daughter will not come next time.
                                                             
                                

It is almost my wife’s birthday again.  So I am open to suggestions.

I know most of you probably think I am probably all a woman would ever need.  But lets try anyway.

What should I get my wife for her birthday?