May 24, 2012
-
The Difficulty of Being a Virgin
Olympic athlete Lolo Jones has said it is “extremely hard” to find a boyfriend because she is a virgin. Here is the link: Link
On the one hand, I can see how some guys would avoid a virgin because they feel they will not get any sex. On the other hand, I have always thought guys found virgins more attractive.
Is it harder for a virgin to get a boyfriend?
Comments (106)
Only fat ugly stupid virgins.
Some guys might be intimidated by the fact she’s an olympian. That includes me, virgin or no virgin. lol
It’s hard for me to get a boyfriend. Both when I was a virgin and after I lost it. I have a “friend” who’s quite loose and she’s always with a boyfriend. I have another friend who’s dated only two people. I think it tends to depend on the person and the availability of who’s able to date him/her.
Uh…
lololol
..It probably takes someone with a similar mindset toward intimacy. That’s all.
wh…at
what
If it was hard for a virgin to get a boyfriend then hardly anyone would be having sex. It’s a chain of events. OOH LAWYERED.
Good for her! Not many women in this day and age choose to maintain their virginity. I often wish I had kept mine until marriage. Oh well. Anyway, I imagine that if it’s difficult to find a man who is comfortable with her sexual status, then she is just not looking in the right places.
Only if she’s looking for a boyfriend in a frat house.
Hm, interesting. I always figured virgins would be more appealing to guys, but there is always the disinterest there if they think they aren’t going to get any sex. As always, depends on the guy and his intentions just as much as her own.
Virginity is not written on the forehead of a person…
LOOOLOOOOOO. She’s from my hometown. I think she’s nuts for staying a virgin, but I suppose it’s up to her. She could easily get a boyfriend.
there is nothing wrong with being a virgin. God commands us to wait until marriage to give ourselves away like that. I am happy to say that I am a 21 year old virgin, waiting for God to send me my soul mate. It is sad that being a virgin is frowned upon in todays society. Being a virgin is important and should be honored. HUGS! Briget
Ahh, virgins. My bff is a virgin, and she has a tough time finding a bf..
Korean guys crave virgin girls. They feel more special to date one. *shrug Retarded and naive, I know.
Well, what does she do, announce to the guys that she’s a virgin?
Oh wait
She may be like a friend of mine, not only a virgin, but carrying around a lot of other baggage too. Getting close to 30 and desperately wanting a boyfriend.
@Dolcelle - How I Met Your Mother is THE BEST SHOW. I rather enjoyed the reference
I say let it be difficult. Who wants to have a boy that doesn’t know how to satisfy her needs before his? Get a man and you’ll know by wanting to stay with him.
@zoetik - Funny, I could use both your words “retarded” and “naiive” to describe your racism.
@TrekkieECH - Yessssss
I don’t see why it would matter. As long as the first sentence you say to a guy isn’t, “I’M A VIRGIN!” it should be a total non-issue. It’s something you can discuss once the relationship seems to be moving in that direction.
@Dolcelle - LAWYERED! Dear god I love HIMYM.
A 29 year old virgin? If you can find some dude at that age that will wait until marriage he’s either got a freezer full of severed heads or dresses up like Harry Potter on the weekends. And even then, his avatar probably isn’t a virgin.
She doesn’t have to tell people she’s a virgin….
I don’t think it’s harder.
I’ve been in a relationship since 14, no breaks. So not for me.
I was a virgin until my wedding night.
I had NO shortage of boyfriends, and I’m not a size 0, 2, 4, or 6.
I don’t think it has to be more difficult. If you make an issue of it, sure, it can be difficult but you don’t have to make an issue of it. I used to get around that by just being honest about what needed to happen before I would have sex with a particular person (I have to feel comfortable with him, I have to feel like other aspects of the relationship have sufficiently developed, and when we get to that point, both of us need to get an STD test), without mentioning that I hadn’t actually had sex before. Most guys didn’t have a problem with it.
With how pretty she is and how hot her body is, guys don’t see her as girlfriend material they see her as some hot chic to screw. So, yeah considering she won’t sleep with them I have no doubts it is hard for her to find a guy.
A woman should be valued enough to be looked on as a wife and not just a girlfriend. Why should virginity matter? It shouldn’t even be up for discussion…
Obviously looking for attention.
@xtinydoll - How the fuck are you gonna call me a racist? And that comment wasn’t intended for you. Funny.
@xtinydoll - Stop trolling and get a life, stupid bitch… and stop stalking my profile.
Well, you were able to do it, right?
Not hard. But just as likely to attract jerks as real men.
I am guy and a virgin, and don’t have a girlfriend.
I’m a virgin and I have a boyfriend… wasn’t hard for me. I didn’t even do anything.
IMO, it will be an issue if you make it one…
I’d say I can see where she is coming from. Finding a boyfriend her age (remember, she’s almost 30) who doesn’t mind not having sex might just be difficult for her. Also men might be intimidated by her fame and the fact that she is an Olympian. She may also be shy and awkward around men. Who knows? But I can see how an attractive girl like that might have difficulty finding a boyfriend.
Just read the article. I think she’s pretty honest and clear about what the problem is, and I can say that I’ve experienced the same thing on a smaller level (since I’m not a beautiful and famous olympian…) She appears to have no trouble finding dates. What she has trouble finding are men who honestly respect her choice to remain a virgin. As I suspected, guys are attracted to virgins because they think it’s a “challenge” to get them into bed or as a “conquest” to be the one take someone’s virginity. Not because they are interested in abstaining until marriage.
She’s blaming it on one aspect but it could be multiple reasons - ie. she’s a very religious, super athelete star looking for a very religious, equally-amazing-at-something boyfriend.
That reduces the pool of possible mates quite significantly (the latter rather than the former.) LOL
Never had a boyfriend, therefore I am still a virgin. I think it’s hard for me due to confidence level and social anxiety.
I don’t have any problems(kidding)
I’m not sure if it’s being a virgin or that I hate dating and avoid it that makes it difficult for me to find a boyfriend.
Oh wait. I get it now.
if you treasure your virginity like germs, then please hold on to it, and be proud of it
Ahhh heteronormativity at its finest
Okay, so why is she posing naked then? Lovelyish had a post on her tweets yesterday. I’d say the reason she can’t get a boyfriend is because she bitches about being single and sitting on the couch every Friday night. That sounds both desperate and boring. I’m impressed, it must be difficult to be those things as an Olympian.
it depends on your age and how vocal you are about it. (and also the person you’re trying to date)
Girls are just stupid as a general rule.
Virgins are nasty. Who wants to get blood on their dick?
Another trick question the likes of which leaves me completely stumped.
I think if you want to wait until marriage to have sex, you need a guy willing to wait with you. Either the man himself is a virgin (some religious guys I know want to wait, or the guy has morals), or he’s willing to wait because he’s in love with you (even though he’s had sex before). I think it would be EXTREMELY hard to get a boyfriend, yes – because what guy would do that unless he fell heavily in love? So, you have to find “the one” for you, which knocks down a lot of guy suitors, so this could actually be a helpful strategy in the long run. If you ever find your guy. Go her.
At 29, perhaps. She just has to look in the write place. I know a lot of guys that won’t for the fear of having the girl get attached to them.
I would be willing to bypass having sex with her, if she at least allowed me to look at her naked often.
I doubt she’d have trouble getting dates, but a long term serious boyfriend sans sex, yes.
Because, as some others have noted, unless the man was likewise interested in no sex till marriage and identified her early on as someone he felt was a strong candidate for a life partner…they wouldn’t be compatible. And how many people in our lives do we meet who we feel we might truly want as a life partner? Not too many, hence, if that is what you are looking for and ONLY that…the dating pool shrinks a great deal.
Most adults don’t want to date long term without sex, so they don’t date others who are not interested in being sexually active.
I always wonder at the motives and mindset of people who announce their sexual issues and preferences to the world. What is that about? What reactions or kudos are they looking for? Be it announcing conquests, virginity, or their fave position…why? I mean, are we supposed to applaud her for being a virgin or feel sorry for her because she can’t get a boy friend, or use her situation to villify people who DO want sex? I mean…what’s the deal?
Maybe guys that want a woman who has never been with another man looks at what she is wearing there and says “Yeah right,you’re a virgin”
@Asunderfrom - I got married this past January at age 31, and both my wife and I were virgins. I think the stereotype of virgins being crazy or undesirable is so cliche. Any 13 year old can have sex if they want. Some people make the choice to wait until marriage.
yea it’s really hard to find a significant other when you’re famous, really hot, and athletic.
I have never found it difficult.
She should have though about that a little earlier and it wouldn’t have developed into an issue. That’s what’s meant with familly planning, girl. But no, she was too busy training when the rest of us were f…ing. Priorities!
She just needs a boob job.
I think it’s ’cause her name is “Lolo”.
Have you seen anything from her Twitter posts?
I think it is the fact she is socially awkward that makes it difficult to find a date. Seriously, she is an Olympian, she has devoted her life to her sport, not to having a social life. You don’t have to tell people you are a virgin, nor can people tell by looking at you. There are plenty of men who share her Christian values and who would be willing to wait before marriage. She just needs to get off her couch and stop watching Say Yes to the Dress on Friday nights.
I love the dress she is wearing in the picture.
I think it would be harder for a guy that’s a 29 year old virgin than for a woman. That being said, if she’s looking into guys that don’t respect her choice, then yes she’ll have a hard time finding guys she wants around.
Personally, it’s really admirable to see that some women/people choose to do something outside of them norm. Granted, the cookie cutter idea that most females have when their young is a “white gown” wedding, which in some ways would make waiting till marriage the norm, but with so many different influences that’s hardly ever the case. It’s really something that I would tip my hat to anyone who waits till marriage because it’s so difficult to hold on to that.
It’s not hard to be a virgin, but it is hard to find a lover who is. I am a 30 year old virgin. I couldn’t find any physically attractive virgins in the right age demographic in the US so I decided to import a wife from India.
@Asunderfrom - I was 29 when I got married and was a virgin. I haven’t kept a freezer full of severed heads since getting laid.
I don’t know how you can wait until marriage to have sex. What if you do and find out your partner has no libido or wants to play really weird holocaust concentration camp sex games derived from their years of sexual repression?
@Asunderfrom - I waited, though in all fairness I got married at 21. Hitler, I mean, my wife and I make a great match.
I appreciate people who keep their virginity. Don’t allow this WORLD to influence you on how it is suppose to be.
@Asunderfrom - Hey, don’t knock role playing the XXX version of Mein Kampf with your partner. It’s so hot being referred to as ‘Mein Schnitzel” by my wife.
@ItIsAllGravy - Why is that “nuts”…!?
I was picturing more of a – she’s a sexy nazi, you’re a hapless jew. Against all convention of the time you sneak off to the gas chamber to fulfill your desires.
@SKANLYN - You make no sense. Everybody starts off a virgin, of course. And girls, usually bleed whenever they have sex for the first time… So the girls that aren’t a virgin now, “got blood on someone’s dick” and that’s that.. I know I sound stupid but I don’t know how to explain. Lol.
Uhhhh.
If EVERY guy didn’t want blood on their dick then they wouldn’t have anyone to have sex with, because all the girls would be virgins, therefore if they had sex with them they would bleed. resulting in a bloody dick.
Lmao.
bahah.
I cannot for the life of me word this right, but. You’ll figure it out.
I always thought that a lot of men “digged” virgins..?! Cause they are. well.. not trying to be too detailed but whatever we are all adults, tight. You know? Lol. Anyways… Also, besides the fact of being “tight” he for sure knows that she’s not some whore that sleeps with everyone and has no diseases. So I don’t see the problem here. lol.
Yup. I mean, I’m only 17 years old, but I’m a virgin and a lot of guys have told me that they would’ve dated me, but I’m a virgin so that broke the deal. It’s pretty damn pathetic, especially since I’m still in highschool… sex and virginity shouldn’t be a dealbreaker.
You’d think it be easy considering what a “game” it is for some circles to take someone’s virginity. Heck, look at Tebow. They put a bounty, a flippin’ BOUNTY out for anyone who could prove that they had sex with him.
If she has difficulty finding a boyfriend, I don’t think it would accurate to contribute it to her choice to remain abstinent. LOL
@SentimentalDoll - True, but if it is, then you know EXACTLY what they were after, and they weren’t worth your time!
I don’t know what to think on this one. All I know is that I did not have a girlfriend all through high school because I went to an all boys school and a lot of people (my father included) thought I was gay because I was single and I studied ballet while playing basketball. And having that hanging over your head while living in a small town spells death for your romantic. And I once turned a beautiful girl down because my head was not right at the time and she definetly fanned the flames of that rumour by doing some talking. So I think I would have to say that she is right because she is in a situation where whenver she says “no” the rejected one migh be out there spreading “lesbian” rumors.
@Tallman - In these days… people think they are being rejected for a lot of reasons and none of them are religious reasons.
@SKANLYN - Or have sex with every other man she had sex with…which in essence is what you are doing by the way!
umm, its hard for me to find a boyfriend. idk
She’s an Olympic-level athlete, which means she spends a LARGE amount of time doing ONE thing, which isn’t something her boyfriend can participate in. She talks to the press about her sex life. She is constantly traveling and away from home. I can see a lot of bigger reasons than “Virgin” for her lack of a boyfriend.
@Shadowrunner81 - Right?? If i were a guy, I would be intimidated that my girlfriend had ABS OF STEEL while I would be like…this pile of pudge D:
At a guess, it’s more difficult to get a boyfriend because of the “I-can’t-get-a-boyfriend-because-I’m-a-virgin-attitude” than because she’s a virgin.
Heh, not for me. Although I only said yes to one guy, and we just got engaged.
as a 29 yr old virgin, yes its harder to find a significant other. Your mind isn’t always consumed with looking for sex. Your mind misses the signals b/c its so use to not really seeking it. You almost dont know how to act when people talk about sex. And no my freezer isn’t full of severed heads nor do i like video games. SOme people just weren’t dealt the hands in life to afford them to commit into a relationship where they can get physical with someone.
@Asunderfrom - That’s why you talk about this stuff through thorough premarital counseling. My husband and I were both virgins before marriage, and we had, under the guidance of a counselor, candid talks about what we did and didn’t expect in the marriage bed. I was surprised by how similar we were–from sex drive, to sex positions. And, I have no regrets–the sex has been beautiful, amazing..and dare I say? Joyful.
@Xbeautifully_broken_downX - Oh I definitely agree! haha I’m just saying how it really does seem to be an issue sometimes.
why is it such a big deal these days that someone is a virgin?….its their life, their choice….
A girl being a virgin is a non-issue and i can’t believe someone would bring that up as an excuse for not finding a significant other. It’s like a guy saying he can’t find a gf cuz he has big feet.
@SentimentalDoll - I have no prob with your status as virgin or choice to be one…but why is it OK for sex to be a dealbreaker for you…but not for someone else? I mean, if you want to stay a virgin, then you might break off with someone who kept pushing you for sex, or chose to get sex from someone else while dating you…dealbreaker, and someone who wants sex would not date you after you’ve made it clear you don’t want sex, dealbreaker. No harm, no foul.
@jouningirl - lol yeah she has abs of steel. It wasn’t until I read more about her that her virginity is part of her Christian faith. I wonder if she has to deal with the whole, “Christian virgin=no fun” thing. That, more than any olympian intimidation, may be what ends up leaving her frustrated. I read that she lookes for dates through her twitter feed and other sources online. Perhaps she will one day read this post? I know it’d be wierd to have all these people psychoanalyzing her.
In other words, in the end she is a normal person who just happens to be an olympic athlete and also happens to be a virgin. No more, no less. Can you tell I’ve had this on my mind since my original comment last night?
Only if they’re ugly.
if a girl does it in the butt is she still a virgin?
@SentimentalDoll - I guess for them it was sex or virginity, but you’re absolutely right. It’s your body, your decision to make if you’re ready or not. Besides, just because one might be ready, doesn’t mean they qualify.
for virgins i dont find it hard to find a boyfriend*
its hard to find a boyfriend that’s a virgin –> that’s where the problem lies :P
@ccccourage - Because I want sex to be special, not just fucking someone cause I’m horny. I never said that I’d break up with someone just because try wanted to have sex, but if they couldn’t respect my decision to wait or they cheated on me, then yes, sex would technically be a dealbreaker.
@Jenny_Wren - I agree with that.
@SentimentalDoll - Please read YOUR post. YOU said that sex SHOULDN’T be a dealbreaker! Now you tell me sex is a dealbreaker, um, which was basically what my reply to you was…**scratches head** I wasn’t challenging your choice to remain a virgin at all. I was pointing out that sex is a dealbreaker, for both sides, rightly so. You have every right and good reason to date someone who respects your decision to abstain, and others have every right and good reason to date someone who will have sex with them.
I hold on to the principle of saving yourself for marriage and feel that she’s an even more amazing woman for being a virgin given her popular status in society and she will meet the right person!
In reality, she could have anyone and I hope it’s a virtue issue and not a mission in life for her. Peace!
Maybe Lolo Jones can get together with Tim Tebow. Both famous virgin athletes!
I just find it a little odd that people are discussing whether a girl will allow a penis into her vagina. Everytime I hear someone talk about being a virgin I instantly picture their vagina .. which of course I have not seen, but it is just awkward.
One fine day she’ll meet the right man and move in with him and his mom.
I thought guys liked virgin girls because they’re very tight