October 21, 2012
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When To Expect Sexual Harassment
A woman is upset by what she is calling sexual harassment after she dressed in a racy costume for a comic book and fantasy gathering.She wore the following outfit:
She said men were “ogling her breasts.” She also said that during interviews that fans were more interested in her cup size. Here is the link: LinkLadies: If you were wearing that outfit, would you expect men to ogle your breasts?
Comments (56)
Yes. But I wouldn’t mind.
Why would a woman wear something like that if they didn’t want men to notice? Geeez
I wouldn’t sexually harass her, I probably wouldn’t even be able to talk. daaamn.
Next weekend I’ll probably be wearing a costume exposing some cleavage. And damn, I hope I get free drinks at the bars at that time because of my DDD boobs.
I’d feel offended if I was wearing that and they wouldn’t look at my breasts
lol
yes, they are afterall just men
But, of course. Forget just men..women would be doing the ogling as well. lol
Yes, and she should know people would look. It’s if they try to touch that would be inappropriate.
If I was wearing that, I’d expect everyone to ogle my breasts.
I hate when people like her trivialize sexual harassment. If my tits were threatening to pop out of my top, everyone would go blind out of fear and/or hysteria so I am pretty sure I wouldn’t get ogled.
It wasn’t sexual harrassment. She’s just sensitive.
what did she expect was going to happen?
She needs to watch Dave Chappelle’s stand up special ‘Killing them softly’ and listen to the part where he talks about how “women say that chivalry is dead…and it’s true…because they killed it.”
Ugh,what an idiot. Of course someone is going to ‘ogle her breasts’. She dresses like that, with her boobs practically to her chin and she gets MAD when men look?
What a stupid b*tch….
Nothing new. Same old double standard. A woman can dress like a hooker and scream “pervert” when some guy looks at her boobs or her dress up to her crack, she can walk like that through a dimly lit alley and wonder why she gets raped, and of course it is all his fault. She can dress like that to work and then file “sexual harrassment” complaints against all the males co-workers if she thinks they are “checking her out”. They don’t even have to touch or leer or even get caught getting an eyeful. Even if she “feels uncomfortable”, they are guilty until proven innocent. Yet I hear, “can you move this box for me, or can you get that off the high shelf” or “ugh, I can’t take the trash out, I can’t lift the can over the dumpster” or on and on. And that is not sexist at all. This kind of behavior shows no respect for men at all. It is all about “me, me, me” and is incredibly selfish. You want respect? Show some to others, and yourself…
If you got it flaunt it so to speak,though be prepared to go with the consequences..what with men being men they will ogle and gloat and drool some even get a bit touchy-feely so best be warned when provoking such things.
I think we’re missing the point what on earth is she doing at a comic book and fantasy gathering? Also at said gathering she was most likely the most attractive thing in a 1 mile radius she would have been stared at even if she was covered head to toe.
I’ll keep it in mind that, if a guy wears super, super tight pants, where his junk is super noticeable, that it’s then okay for me to go up and question him about his penis!
After all, he would apprently be “asking for it”.
Yes, I would expect people to look, if I was wearing something like that. Those type of outfits will draw attention. Heck, even I would check the girl out! lol That said, I don’t have to turn into a sleaze over it and ask inappropriate questions. I don’t feel that ANYONE in this situation is completely blameless.
I saw a girl, who looked like she was either a stripper or a prostitute (we were at a truck stop). I looked, my husband looked, another guy looked… I don’t feel that ANY of us would be excused for makng crude comments, to her, just based on how she’s dressed.
But, maybe that’s just me. Spare me the whole “they’re just men, of course they’ll look”. Yeah, obviously… but they can control themselves and how they respond to what they see. After all, many men seem to know how to do that. So why can’t the others figure it out? Yeah.
Just my two cents…
Agree 100% with Megabyyte!
Just looking at her chest, when it’s exposed like that, isn’t sexual harassment in my mind. The questions about her cup size, though, were pretty inappropriate considering her reason for being there wasn’t to talk about her boobs. I assume she is dressed as some comic-book or movie character I’m unfamiliar with, so I would think the questions should have been related to her character and her experiences related to that and comic-book conventions. Anybody with half a brain ought to be able to put that together, but then you have those who see exposed cleavage as an invitation to sex and a declaration of low self-esteem and they act accordingly towards her. It’s stereotyping, and you can blame her all you want for whatever happens to her, but anybody that makes those assumptions is guilty of stereotyping so they aren’t blameless, either.
What @Megabyyte said!
Well said there @Megabyyte ! Errr.. well ye.. Got nothing to add. If you want no comments, don’t wear something as showing as that.
She’s dressing like she wants attention and then gets it and complains ?
Minju, if the guys can’t keep their eyes off the prize, well, that’s the male equation for ya. Φ ≡
@Megabyyte - I was about to comment but what you said was perfect. Can’t add to that!
Getting looked at and receiving sexual comments can be expected….get over it. Being touched or persistently followed around & rudely spoken to by an individual would be worth getting upset about.
@Megabyyte - she was portraying the character in the comic accurately. The comic character was dresse in the same way in the book. Yeah people can’t help but stare but it isn’t an invitation to be treated like shit/judged by interviewers. If you read her recount, the men would ask for her bra size, make sneaky remarks and persisted that she should spank them on the butt etc.
um… did you actually read the article? she wasn’t complaining about being stared at. she was being interviewed as a cosplayer, and the best questions they could come up with involved her cup size.
seriously, Dan, you’re pretty dumb. if you’re going to start shit, make sure you read the article you want to base it on.
@Ork58 - you’re pretty disgusting if you think that anyone deserves to be raped for how they’re dressed. aren’t men capable of controlling themselves? if you want women to respect you, own up to your own shitty behavior and stop blaming us.
uh no offense but that fact that this is titled “when to EXPECT sexual harassment” like it’s just a natural part of life is a little disconcerting
She shouldn’t expect anyone to ogle her breasts if she didn’t wear pants. Where is the rest of the outfit?
When they’re popping out like that, they’re called titties, not breasts.
I would imagine so.
boundaries should be expected, but if she didnt want sexy, why dress sexy? she could of covered up!
everyone’s comment makes me sad.
sexual harassment is never okay.
Obviously if you wear something like this to nerdfest Comicon you need to expect ogling. When I went to Blizzcon I wore a regular t-shirt and some jeans shorts and was stared at and hit on constantly. Comes with the territory.
If I cosplayed, I would want people to “ogle.” But I would neither expect nor accept unwanted sexual advances.
Expecting people to look and admire, and being harassed for sexual favors and information are two entirely different issues.
When a stranger insists — multiple times — you spank him, that is sexual harassment.
When a stranger pressures you for information about your cup size, that is sexual harassment. The fact Mandy was wearing tight clothing with décolletage is circumstantial. This is not a “racy costume.” This is accurate cosplay.
The “interview” was not done by fans, but by men expecting sexual gratification because a woman sexualized by the media that creates our society had the brazen confidence to cosplay as a character with cleavage. What these men did “…all in good fun” was sexual harassment and nothing but. There is no excuse for demanding sexual favors, particularly when the individual has explicitly denied unwanted advances.
As a regular Comic Con attendee in multiple locales, cosplayers are frequently approached by YTers requesting interviews as the character. Agreeing to an interview under these pretences is commonplace. Only occasionally — notice I don’t say “rarely” — does the interview turn out to be fanboys wanking in your face.
Go to Mandy’s blog post about the incident. You can read her transcription of the “interview”.
Furthermore, she chose a character whose design is surprisingly conservative. If you take a quick look around geekdom, you will see most female characters are there as wank fodder. So when you see the females dressed in sparkly/shredded/bloodied bikinis as a “costume,” they are more likely the ones looking for the attention. When you see someone actually making an effort to portray a comic book character, forgotten though her design may be in our day and age, they are there to be the character.
Slut shaming is supposed to be a Torontonian thing, but we can see it’s as wide spread as any other sexual harassment.
So look and enjoy, but don’t touch. Not even with words.
Yeppir.. And if I didn’t want people to notice, then I would dress more conservatively. Although, if one wants to look at such open cleavage, I would hope they would do it with some class. It’s one thing to look and admire, which I think can be sexy in that manner. But totally different, in my opinion, if they’re rude and crude about it.
@ShimmerBodyCream - LOL… I’m pretty much envious of any woman who has ‘em bigger than me!
Hell people look when my cleavage isn’t showing. I would expect the idiots to ogle. I would expect those with human decency to look, be embarrassed, look away, and then cry themselves to sleep that night because they couldn’t touch. Under no circumstances should anyone be so shallow as to think that my cleavage is a sign that says, “Come up to me and be an ass.”
Perhaps women should stay away from Comicon altogether, yes? Problem solved. Seriously, look at the way she was dressed. Look at the other photo of her. Please. What is it with women these days? They dress like whores, then complain when they are TREATED like whores. WTF?
Never a good reason to tolerate sexual harassment and sounds to me like this article is making excuses to tolerate it.
she wants rich men to swipe their credit card between ‘em goodies, and spend money on her, not literally, but is she catwoman/rogue or a credit card swiper machine costume
edit: she’s felicia hardy actually, now that I read the previous comments. I’m not a comic fan:p
*sigh* why aren’t there superhot shirtless guys at comiccon events for me to rub sesame oil on
You know when men bend over and their ass sticks out, I
consistently ask them if I can grab their ass and what size underwear
they wear. And then I oogle their ass with my eyes until they feel
uncomfortable and make remarks about how beautiful his ass it. All my
girlfriends and I do it. But it’s his fault. Because his ass is sticking
out. Costume or not.
Everybody on here needs to get a fucking
life. Women should be able to walk around without being turned into
sexual objects every chance a man gets. Respectful men know what I’m
talking about.
I respect men and they respect me. Respectful
men, respects ALL women. I therefore don’t play the victim role of the
female and I respect ALL men.
Whoever doesn’t respect ALL women
can see their way to the door. Whether she respects him or not. I expect
him to treat people with respect, despite. And I HOPE he expects the
same out of me.
To oggle is one thing, but to sexually harass by asking cup size and acting offended when she refuses IS offensive. I think most people here are focusing more on the fact that guys were eyeing her breasts and not that she was asked a personal question in front of a large group of people. And so what if the outfit is skimpy? It’s how the costume was designed and doesn’t give guys the right to harass. I say this also from personal experience was a fellow cosplayer. You can look, but don’t try to touch inappropriately (I’ve been groped before) and don’t put a girl on the spot and act like you have every right to personal information that may be uncomfortable to share!
It’s obvious that all she wants is attention and all the attention she got wasn’t enough so she had to blog and make sure it spread. LOOK at how she is dressed outside of the con. I’m sorry but when you dress like that, the only reason you do it for attention. Noone raped her or touched her from what the article said, only made comments. I went to a gaming convention locally and there are always women wearing costumes- some sexy and some not. I really don’t think most mind getting costumes and if you get so offended so easily, there are conservative versions of all super hero costumes out there.
@Megabyyte - I would definitely be asking for it. Not even kidding, despite the smile on my fact as I play out such a scenario in my head… I could fuck with so many heads. XD
Remember folks: Everybody will notice. A large chunk will look, some longer than others, and a very tiny portion will be masturbating under their trench coat.
I hate it when I go out running in my speedo in the middle of the afternoon in the park and get looks. you would think they never saw a man’s junk before.
@dream_guru5 - but that’s not what gets worn in the comics. She was trying out for a part. Sexy gets worn in comics, so in order to get a part you copy exactly what the part is correct? You don’t show up in a turtle neck and hope for the best. SHE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO WEAR A COSTUME FOR A PART AND NOT GET QUESTIONS ABOUT HER CUP SIZE. You’re fucking ridiculous for thinking anything else.
@MyPublicSite - People tend to forget that men in these types of hobbies are social outcasts for a reason. They have no social skills, or very limited. Plus, where did it say she was going out for a part? Do you mean she was just dressing a part? I’ve seen really slutty versions of regular costumes so there should be a version that doesn’t have your tits hanging out. If she wore that for any reason, she shouldn’t have publicly written a blog about “sexual harassment” (which I always thought was touching or making comments about screwing. If you don’t want a comment about your body, cover it up. Seriously. She just sounds like a feminist attention whore. You go around men who have little to no social skill and have very limited experience with females they don’t know how to act. (I have friends who are into that type of hobby and very few honestly know when to shut up).
@dream_guru5 - Really and now you’re finding excuses as to why those certain types of men can degrade women? If you can teach somebody with autism to have manners around sexuality, then they can learn it too. Did you even read the interview she went through?
Him: I’m here with…
Me: Mandy, aka Felicia Hardy aka Black Cat
Him: ..And she is HOT. Do you think I’m hot enough to pull that off?
Me: Uh, I’m not sure, I’ve never seen you in drag.
Him: I’ve got a great ass. Go on, spank me.
Me: (look at his large ass, popped up mere inches away from me then look into the camera like are you kidding me .) No thanks. I may hurt you, I’m a lot stronger than I look.
Him: Aw come on!
Me: No, seriously. Stop.
Him: Damn, alright! Well let me ask you an important question then…what is your cup size?
Me: (big talk show smile) That is actually none of your fucking business.
Him: Oh! I think that means to say she’s a C.
Me: I actually have no breasts at all, what you see
is just all of the fat from my midsection pulled up to my chest and
carefully held in place with this corset. It’s really uncomfortable, I
don’t know why I do it.
Him: (to the male crowd) Aw, come on what do you guys think? C cup?
—a few males start to shout out cup sizes as I stand there looking
at this guy like this has to be a fucking joke, then look at the crowd
and see that no amount of witty banter or fiestiness will stop making
this whole thing fucking dumb. It was clearly a ploy to single out
cosplaying women to get them to talk sexual innuendos and flirt with
this asshole and let him talk down to them simply because they we’re in
costume and we’re attractive. Whether I’m in a skintight catsuit or not,
I’m a fucking professional in everything I do and I don’t need to play
nice for this idiot.
Me: This is not an interview, this is degrading. I’m done. (I walk away)
Him: (clearly dumbfounded and surprised) ..Come on, it’s all in good fun!
Me
: Being degraded is fun? That was unprofessional and I hope that
isn’t your day job because you can’t interview for shit, my man.
In case your wondering, cosplaying is a very serious thing to a certain group of people, they dress up per according to their characters, exactly. Which means this is what she dressed up as.
http://starsmedia.ign.com/stars/image/object/924/924012/black-cat_marvel_pictureboxart_160w.jpg
How come every woman that sticks up for herself is a “stupid feminist”. People need to get over it. It’s never okay to degrade women. And it’s never okay to degrade men either. And you as a woman should look further into a situation before blaming it on stupid feminism. Nobodies going to fight for your rights but you. And she never claimed it as sexual harassment. However, the newspaper named it rightfully so. Harassing a person through any sexual remark is sexual harassment. I really hope you don’t let men at work walk around and talk about your breasts all day, because in case you’re not aware of your rights, that’s a problem.
@MyPublicSite - no, I cover myself up. When I do dress down, I just ignore and not make a huge fuss out of guys talking. I simply walk the opposite direction or flash my ring to show I’m permanently taken. I never looked overly favorably on dressing up in outfits like that, it’s the one thing I agree with uptight, conservative people.. You dress like that you can expect to be treated like that. I’ve heard professional interviews similar to what he said but no one made a huge fuss over them… Plus if she really didn’t want to look like an attention whore, she shouldn’t have shown herself in a less revealing outfit outside the convention in real life.
Yes, if someone touches me sexually, I smack them in the face, if they say something I ignore so I won’t cause a huge scene but I’m used to being around sexually open people, so harassment to me is just short of rape. If she didn’t want attention, why’d she go so public with it? Why did she wear such revealing clothes and talk about demanding respect and why not just bitch slap and walk away? (If someone stepped too far for my comfort, I’d do that and not make a huge scene but then, I wouldn’t be in that situation.
@dream_guru5 - but bitch slapping somebody is considered simple assault? She handled it in a mature way. The use of the phrase “bitch slap” is a phrase used to speak down to women and their inability to fight back to men. And it also allows them to get away with simple assault on men, by using a cute little phrase to back it up.
@MyPublicSite - ok, what’ I said about slapping isn’t mature but neither is going online and publicly bitching about it, going to some news source and complaining about it and making a huge deal about it. Why didn’t she just walk off? Why make it public? She may as well be trying to get him listed as a sex offender or try to ruin his life. That’s the only reason I think she’s an attention whore, showing her body off then complaining about the attention in a VERY public venue. Those comments aren’t harassment, if he’d grabbed her or touched her or followed her when she left the room THAT is harassment. Whoever called it harassment was wrong.
i can’t stop ogling her breasts.
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