February 12, 2013
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Sexual Attraction and Friendship
A recent study suggested that men’s relationships with their female friends may be fueled by “sexual attraction.”
Women, on the other hand, were less likely to read the friendships in a sexual way. Here is the link: LinkHave you ever been sexually attracted to an opposite sex best friend?
Comments (81)
Of course.
Only you
My best friend is my husband, so, YES, very much!
That’s how my relationship with my wife started. At the time, she was on the verge of getting engaged to another man. When that didn’t work out, she turned to me, and we had nearly 30 years together, before her passing. Before that, I had several female friends who were very attractive, but I was not overly sexually attracted to them, as their SO’s were also friends of mine.
In the past few months, I have felt attraction to a couple of women friends, but this sort of thing takes time for a widower.
Plenty of times.
They had to study this? Come on, scientists, let’s focus on something else… This one is easy.
lol
Yes. And I rarely, if ever, friend zone men.
interesting.. the problem i find is that for me it has been the opposite. while i have been sexually attracted to female friends before,i find that more of them by a very large margin have “read the friendship as sexual”, and that was enough for them to feel the need to go on the attack, well beyond just ending the friendship.
hmmMM… can’t say that i have… but close guy friends have wanted to fuck me.
My problem is that I don’t have any ugly friends. They’re all hot!
(And the award for best sweeping compliment by a guy goes to…)
Yes. I married him, so it worked out pretty well for me.
“Journal of Social and Personal Relationships”
AKA “A woman’s diary.”
Yes.
yep. I would be surprised if anyone answers no to this.
I got the hots for one gal in high school and married her. After marriage, we slowly became friends.
a couple of my dogs
Did you have to dedicate an entire post to my indescretions?
I only have sex with my best friend. I mean, I married her first.
So much so that I married him and rape him continually all the damn time…
Please do not be offended by the above as he happily consents to my rape tactics.
If you are still offended, please re-read the above as the following.
So much so that I married him, and we both have gritty consensual sex with one another on a level playing field. ^_^
I tried to be friends with a girl once but she lost all respect for me.
Have I been? Of course. But I’ve had plenty of female friends I was never attracted to, and just as many who I only started finding attractive well AFTER we became friends.
Best friend? No never.
This oh so scientific study definitely doesn’t hold true for fat chicks.
Source: many, many years of being told explicitly by guys that they were not attracted to me in any way.
Although I was not at all attracted to my closest male friend in college, nor he to me. He saw me as his bro. Which was totally cool with me, I always wanted to be a bro.
I guess the moral of the story here is that men and women can totally be friends, so long as the girl is fat/ugly. This is a sad moral.
Yes, it is normal. However it does not imply that one have to have sex with that person
I used to hate it when guys were only my friends because they were interested in me. Now that I am older, I don’t get that anymore which is so freaken nice because I finally feel my personality matters.
All the time.
yes I have
not interested in my male friends…
pisses me off
I love to have men as friends! But at some point flirting usually enters the picture on their part, and then it all turns awkward! Except with my good pal Kyle, and he’s gay.
My closest friend is a woman. I have never been attracted to her, and she’s never been attracted to me. I’ve known her about 20 years, and I love her husband, and I’m thankful to God for him in her life. I do understand my situation is very unusual.
That’s usually because women tend towards hypergamy, so there is a good chance that most of the men in their social circles aren’t even worth dating in their minds. Men, on the other hand, don’t tend towards – would it be hypergamy or hyperandry? – so it’s a lot easier for them to have their friendships fueled by attraction, since physical attraction operates a little differently than attraction to wealth and social status.
Put a woman in the company of a bunch of rich, swaggering alpha males and there’s a good chance she’ll react in the same way as a guy would when making friends with the opposite gender.
Yes.
Yes.
But he was my best friend because I wanted to have sex with him.
@QuantumStorm - you know they can give you Ritlan for that…calms ya right down
@Such_are_you - haha
Don”t we all, or didn”t we all, when we were younger<:)
I don’t have many friends from the opposite sex. I mean I do, but I don’t interact with them much and our talks are by far only about school lol :p
I happens, it has to happen to get past it and have a friendship which isn’t defined by a sexual what-if.
a recent study? i thought we know this from the caveman era
That’s what makes it fun.
Applies to women too i think, depends esp during the time of the month, i get sexually interested to any man, but it’s not like i’d sleep around just that if it’s a guy friend, its just super weird, and even if i’d be attracted, i’ll just shut-up, i dont wanna loose the friendship.
Yes. I married him eventually.
I find this to be extremely true. I don’t think I’ve ever had a really good male friend who hasn’t harbored at least a little crush on me at some point. The only friend-relationship I’ve had that has avoided that is with my gay best friend.
Friendzoning is a sin.
I bet this study was launched by Captain Obvious.
@ShimmerBodyCream - LOL, only you Shim Sham, only you. ROFLMAO
Nope.
@LKJSlain - LOL, oh my gosh, you are hilarious, especially with your second version.
@Kellsbella -
It all comes down to sex!
@MyxlDove - My husband was the first man I had sex with too. I wonder if that makes me a prude? LOL NOPE!
I’m a woman, and no, not really too much. My husband and I were friends for a few months before we started dating, but we knew almost immediately into the friendship that we wanted to date each other.
But, on the other hand, almost all of the guys I’ve been “just friends” with have liked me at some point or another.
Nope.
Hard not to
@QuantumStorm - That’s pretty much the size of it.
yes and it hurt me in the end. sadly i didn’t get my disney ending hehe oh well that’s life.
I’m far too attractive to have female friends, as their relationships with me are fueled by sexual attraction. I guess there always have to be outliers.
@Sheryl_thru_the_viewfinder - The sexual-attraction-based-relationship hurt you “in the end”… lol. I bet on the whole it didn’t feel good.
DUH.
but it doesn’t have to be sexual attraction. Attraction comes in many forms, as simple as the way they put up their hair to something more complex like emotions or that ‘connection’. it doesn’t always have to be sexual, but it is always attraction of one form or another.
I’ve noticed several women AND men have commented with “I’m married to my best friend.” I am apparently the odd one. NO, my husband isn’t my best friend. I’m sorry, but he’s my husband! I do have a best friend but there’s shit I just don’t want to share with my husband, and I’m sure he feels the same way. I would SERIOUSLY like to know what exactly makes your spouse your “best friend.”
But, to answer your question, I may have had a “moment” of attraction to an opposite sex best friend but it’s immediately erased from memory and I move on.
i think there was a movie starring billy crystal or maybe woody allen, that said “a man can never be just friends with a woman, because there is always the question of sex.”
not categorically true – but very true, i think.
@olwd - lol
Think how a lot of young women act around dems like Bill Clinton: “Oh, plz, take my panties off with your teeth, I want to have your babies.” Most young women don’t have two neurons that fire at the same time. Same probably goes for most young men. What’s worse, they often have the integrity of a democratic politician. They’ll lie and hurt other people for personal advantage. Yeah, saw something like that recently in several people. Pretty pathetic. Xanga doesn’t do much to change my opinion, either. A lot of young scumbags post here.
yes when I was younger I might have even acted on it when I could.
I’ve been friendzoned by dudes before. nbd
But I have trouble talking to guys I find attractive (other than Boyf, of course), so the friendship really ends there.
i’m a little bit attracted to all of my friends. how ya like them apples
They need a study to figure this out? Of course there’s gonna be some underlying physical attraction in a male/female relationship, on the male’s side of things. It’s primal; core behavior. Most men are very visually oriented/stimulated, so it’s no surprise there. Even if they have no conscious plans or intent to act on that attraction. That said, most people (either gender) are attracted to physical beauty as well. But yeah, I’ve seen more women with unattractive male friends (or just geeky/nerdy fumbly types) and the other way around.
Yes, but I’ve also been really good friends with women I wasn’t attracted to sexually at all. I don’t think that a lack of sexual attraction prevents friendships from forming, but it may affect the nature of the friendship and the way the man handles it.
I’ve had male friends that I wasn’t in the least bit attracted to sexually.
@Cares2theWind@datingish - It was entitled “When Harry Met Sally.”
Chicks interacting with me disprove this poll, actually.
But when you’re as sexy as I am, you can’t blame them for wanting to jump my bones.
http://crazyhyena.com/imagebank/g/3629477_460s.jpg
“duh” study of the century…this was seriously a study?
@ChiChiChihuahua - Maybe they were best friends first and one day decided to marry?
My fiance is my best friend. He knows more about me than even my family, and people who’ve known me for years. We’re open with each other, so I guess that part ties into it. What ever you would talk to a best friend about, if you talk to your husband about those same thing then maybe he’s your best friend. I think that was what they might have been trying to say. I could be wrong.
Yes, in pursue to get to know them better! If I find out that there personalities are so so, I just remain friends. Nothing to lose!
Quien quiere hacerlo conmigo?
yesss. lol
Totally agree – some of my best male friends are the ones I’m more attracted to – I have a couple of male “shopping buddies” who I also think are very attractive, but alas they’re gay!
My best friend is gay, and he’s a beautiful man. I am in a committed relationship with a man who was not always committed to me, and I still think about going out for drinks with my best friend and ending up back at his place. I mean, every gay man needs that one woman, right? ;D But yeah, I’ve made friends just out of sexual attraction. That’s how my 5 year relationship started with a man whore who finally turned his ways around for me.
Mhmmm. The attraction is never acted upon, or it is and it eventually goes away, for one reason or another.