February 28, 2013

  • When Your Boss Calls You Stupid

    One of my wife’s bosses called her stupid the other day.  She mentioned it tonight.  I told her, “He called you stupid three days ago and you are still thinking about it today.”

    My wife said, “Of course.  If your boss called you stupid, you would be upset.”  I said, “I doubt it.”
    Would you quit if your boss called you stupid?
                                                                                

Comments (64)

  • At this point, YES. 

  • No.  My bosses are like family to me and we all call each other bad names.  

  • no, but i may think of a way to make him look stupid. 

    actually, i’ve had bosses that were even stupider than they thought i was, the fact that they never promoted me was proof enough. when you have employees who constantly go to another employee instead of managers to get answers, and even have managers going to that employee, writing them up and publicly yelling at them for it instead of putting them in a position where they can be more helpful is stupid. when you have people being promoted saying “why are you promoting me when so and so has been here longer and knows more”.. well, makes you wonder sometimes. 

  • Nope, but I’d sure as hell get them back. 

  • Nah, it wouldn’t bother me, i don’t let what people say to me bother me

  • If my boss called me stupid, then he is the stupid one for hiring me and continuing to place responsibilites on me everyday.

  • That is totally unprofessional of a boss to call an employee stupid and unfortunately with so many people out of work, and so few jobs, people have to tolerate what they usually wouldn’t in order to have a job.

  •  i cant imagine such a scenario in a regular work environment..perhaps he was at the end of his rope..it sounds disrespectful or he’s taking undue familiarity…

  • I’m am not very bright.

    I don’t care.

    I’ve been called everything under the sun.

    I find most people are not wise.

  • No and it has happened. SO far it always lead to fast apologies. If they made a habit of it, or acted like they meant it I would leave

  • I’ve never encountered this. I have no idea how I would react. I’ve lucked into having above average bosses, I guess. 

    I care a lot about what my bosses think of me, for better or worse. I don’t get buddy buddy with them, but I care a lot about what they think of my work. If they called me stupid, unless they had a habit of calling everyone stupid, I would take it to heart and be sad. 

  • No, because chances are they are not very bright either. My current boss would never say such a thing, he’s kind of wimpy- I mean, nice that way.

  • I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone dissatisfied with me at work, it would be really weird

  • No. I’d find all kinds of devious little ways to pay him back.

  • No but I’ve told bosses off. The last 3 were at the investment banking firm I worked. I asked an assistant vice president if I could see him in his office where I told him, don’t ever do that again. I did the same with a manager. She suddenly looked scared shitless. I had no intention of hurting her. She was out of line and I needed to let her know was all. I entered a senior banker’s office after he got upset that I was packing up to leave for the day and wouldn’t do a graphics job for him. I went into his office before I left and he told me he didn’t have time for this. I told him if he doesn’t have time to finish something he shouldn’t start it. The other banker in his office got wide-eyed at the scene. I made sure to slam his door closed as I left and stared at them through the window as I left. They looked to be in disbelief. A few days later I got in the elevator and he was there. I asked, “How are you doing?” He didn’t answer.  I’m told I’m intimidating when I’m mad.

    I can imagine your wife being upset by what her boss said. Bosses are not always the brightest bulbs in the pack themselves and further, sometimes they’ll say things for the purpose of justification later to give a lower raise.    

  • I’d probably start planning my escape. why work for someone who belittles me? Nah, I’d rather work for someone who believes in me.

  • Quit over a spoken insult?  No.  I can brush off that sort of thing pretty easily.  If he constantly treated me as though I were stupid, that would be harder to deal with, but I’d rather find out why he thinks I’m stupid and try to prove him wrong.

  • I never experienced being called stupid by my boss but I was humiliated before during my first time in the operating room. the surgeon shouted at me because i accidentally dropped the forcep off the or table.

  • I would have quit, but I wanted to prove him wrong; to show him that I wasn’t stupid, that I wasn’t a piece of shit worker. I worked my ASS off and my boss at the time gave me a verbal beating in front of customers. It’s one thing to call me out if I’m doing something wrong, it’s another if I’m doing what’s right and I still get berated for it. (I’m a bartender, I refused to serve someone who was heavily intoxicated. Boss came up, pointed his finger in my face and gave me a yelling for a good couple minutes. Literal yelling. It was the closest I’ve ever come to headbutting someone in my life)

    Yeah, I was upset for quite a while. Still am really, when I think about it. He fired me a few days later AFTER a 10 hour shift, no pay. Did me a favor though, last time I work for a coke head/alcoholic.

  • I wouldn’t quit but I’d be furious. That’s a pretty abusive and unprofessional thing to say. I don’t blame her for being mad. As to quitting, why should I be unemployed and the stupid boss still have a job? I’d stay and find some way to repay the compliment.

  • I’d sue the guy for defamation of character and the company for hiring someone stupid enough to do that. This is America, right?

  • Quit?? No way, but I would strongly consider approaching them about it

  • If I had done something stupid, and was called stupid, I wouldn’t quit. If I hadn’t done something stupid, and was called stupid, I might quit.

  • My boss pulls that shit daily but that is how he is. I take it cuz it is just easier and not a big deal till it I cannot take it anymore or the situation demands action so I blow and let fly with whatever is on my mind….usually curse words and steam.

    Then back to normal. My work place is kinda weird like that. But no..wouldn’t quit. Not economic sense.

  • It would certainly make me really, really want to. And I would honestly cry if that happened.

  • Maybe if it was one time, probably not but if it was all the time in addition to other harassment I would because no one deserves to put up with abuse especially at work.

  • Don’t be an idiot.

  • depends on how the whole thing started

  • No.  I would call him on it. 

  • I would say ‘Don’t ever call me that again’.

  • @ShimmerBodyCream - I had a colleague once that looked a lot like you Shimmer and I was NEVER dissatisfied by her work. 

  • My boss would never reduce themselves to calling me stupid.  They are professional.  We are on first name basis, but it is still professional.

  • nope i wouldn’t quit if my boss called me stupid because if i did i would have been jobless six months ago xD regardless how much i hate my stupid menial job i just take solace in the knowledge that i unlike so many people in new zealand atleast have a job to pay the bills

  • i had a boss once who was a very petty bitter woman with a habit. she would put everyone down. i got fed up with it, and started documenting the insults. it really was quite easy, since she was not so bright herself and actually wrote insulting notes and hung them up around the place. i did end up quitting and as expected, the company tried to fight my unemployment. they didn’t have a leg to stand on with all the proof of a hostile environment that i had. she didn’t end up getting to keep her job. some people just shouldn’t be put in charge of anyone, they don’t know how to have a constructive working relationship and let their position of power go to their heads.

  • @TheSutraDude - You’re lucky to still be employed. When you act threatening or intimidating, intentional or not, you have created a hostile work environment. If they keep you on, they can be sued by others for condoning your menacing behavior. It is one thing to confront someone privately for calling you out in front of peers, explain to them that their behavior was unacceptable, and that you expect an apology, but slamming doors, having someone with a “scared shitless” look on their face as a result of your behavior is just as unacceptable.

  • No – I would tell them ” stupid is as stupid does” 

  • People say what they will. I consider the source. 

    The Number 3 manager at a restaurant told a dishwasher to put bleach in the tank of the dishwashing machine. I smelled the bleach, dumped the tank and refilled it. Later, I asked a guy from EcoLab about it. Eco-Guy said not to do it. I later told the boss about it. He told me that I was not to ask those guys questions and to trust the managers. My guess is that long after I quit he was the one who had waitresses climb into the dumpster and dig out the silverwear that was accidentally thrown out. The health department shut the restaurant down. It is now a billiards joint. 
    There are times when I am smart. There are times when I am intergalactically stupid. The good day is when no one says anything one way or the other.

  • @Ork58 - Their behavior was unacceptable. In fact another banker who witnessed the senior banker’s attempt to intimidate me lodged a complaint against him concerning his initial interaction with me for what he did and later apologized to me for his behavior because he was one of her colleagues and she witnessed it. I told her she had no need to apologize because his behavior was none of her doing. I did remain employed there because of my work and work ethic until the place filed for bankruptcy in 2008, marking the “official” economic crash. The place was Lehman Brothers. For me the timing was right because I was about ready to retire anyway. Going to human resources would have been a waste of time because human resources were known for telling people to work things out between themselves. Human resources departments are created to preemptively deflect law suits from firms. not to look out for employees. I was present when a woman voiced a complaint to human resources. The answer she was given was, “Have you considered looking for another job?” That meeting took place about 6th months after 9/11. 

  • @Ork58 - Furthermore I’ve managed departments and people. I’ve been a boss. Calling an employee stupid as was the case with the OP’s wife is not only stupid itself but unproductive. I can imagine the morale under that boss is not very high. I’ve seen it many times. 

  • When your boss calls you stupid, it just means you are in the right job – you are overcompensated for your skills :D AND if you are stupid, it means you have the opportunity to improve.

  • In this economy, no. I’m living the alternative to a 9 to 5 job and it’s not pretty. There might be some hurt feelings, but getting an insult is not Earth shattering. Maybe it’s just me and I’m used to getting verbally abused… Point is, if you have a job and want to quit, hold on for those extra miles until you find a better job. For some sick and twisted reason, companies prefer hiring folk that are already employed. Take advantage of that. If your boss calls you stupid, don’t Rush-Quit. Sneak-Quit and make sure you have  a nice job waiting for you on the other side of the fence.  

    Just make friends with another supervisor or someone with clout and use their name as a reference. I doubt the boss that called you stupid will want to recommend you. 

  • I honestly think it effects women more than men. I was told once by my boss and the only thing that happen was for me to do better and take her job, which I did. 

  • Who would want to work for a scornful individual like that?? And, why are you not enraged that someone called your wife stupid?? 

  • I guess it would depend on how often it happened or if I felt deserving. Some people blurt out words like “stupid, dumb, moron, retarded” without any thought that it might be hurtful. If I think my boss intended to hurt me, yeah, I would quit. But I would also report it as emotionally abusive. If I had made a mistake and my boss reacted without thinking and I was able to learn a lesson and continue in the environment without feeling resentful, a job is something worth hanging on to, especially in these times. But really, letting someone’s opinion of you cause you upset for days in a row is self-defeating. Do you think Mr. Boss man is even giving it a second thought? If he were, he probably would have apologized, which is what he should do. As a Christian I know I would have to forgive my boss, and pray that the Lord would speak to his heart and guide him in how to treat others.

  • I’d break their limbs. 

  • If my boss called me stupid I would put him in check immediately. Not only is that extremely unprofessional but he should be smart enough to know that it’s very bad for employee morale and keeping his workers motivated. That’s management 101 and it seems fairly unintelligent of him to do so. 

  • Wow – you sound like a really compassionate guy.

  • “you hired me, mister, so that says a lot about your own judgement and mentality.”

  • “one of my wife’s bosses”. Wow you are a polygamist? cool

  • My current boss would only say it in jest. He’s a sweet heart.

  • I’d put my boss in his or her place.  If setting my boss straight doesn’t work, I’d certainly look for other places to work. NO ONE ought to work with someone so disrespectful.  I always try to fix the situation before leaving it behind.  This way, I can leave knowing I tried.  I hope your wife never has to hear that again, and if she does, I hope she puts that asshole in his/her place.  You ought to be more supportive, dan.  Ya poozer. ;)

  • Nah. Not right away, anyway. With the right kind of mood though, I just might give them a lecture that would go along the lines of what that gif says.  

  • we’re women and when my boss called me stupid I reported him to my nursing supervisor and she transfered me and told me that he won’t be at our clinic long and he wasn’t.

    We women can’t work by being insulted.

  • It depends on how much I need the job and how much I’ve taken from them already. Most of the time, I shake things off. I’ve only been called stupid by Internet trolls and everyone I know prefers discussions and debates with me because I usually know what I’m talking about.

    I have walked out on jobs but that was after taking months of disrespect from bosses I couldn’t respect and even having one supervisor talk almost like she was threatening me. If its just one time being called stupid, unless I could easily line another job up, I wouldn’t. 

  • Depends on which boss, because there are some of them I hardly ever see.  But if it was my immediate supervisor I would get a new job and then quit.  I can’t work for someone who doesn’t respect me.

    Luckily right now all my managers respect me, but that’s because I’m a hard worker, do what I’m supposed to, and have great sales numbers.

  • I would start looking for a new job since being called stupid is abusive and having good can come of an abusive boss except a 15.5 million dollar lawsuit.

  • It would never happen!

  • i wouldn’t want a boss like that, or a husband like you.

  • I like my bosses. But in a hypothetical situation where being called stupid was frequent, I would psychologically slaughter them and then most likely get fired…

  • i’ve had that happen to me once. obviously, it’s very unprofessional and I felt like I had to respond in kind which then led to me being escorted out of the building.

  • I’ve overheard my former boss tell an employee that.  He was my friend at the time and I tried to report my boss for him. 

  • No. But, I would have a conversation with him about how he or she can speak to me.  

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