March 24, 2013
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Friends For Life
In the old days, it felt like you could make a friend and keep that friend for life.
(A cute photo of kittens would be here if xanga photos was working).I made friends with a guy in 5th grade. We did everything together. We played baseball. We played football. We matched our classes together. We were the best man in each other’s wedding.We met up recently and we had not lost a step. We evolved and were functionally doing the same job but in different industries.But I don’t see most of my relationships the same way now. It is hard to imagine keeping any of my friends for life now. It feels that way on the internet. I mean, one day xanga will not exist. How practical is it that we stay in contact?But even relationships at work feel the same way. If I move jobs, I will probably not keep the same friends.Is it still possible to make friends for life?
Comments (49)
I don’t know anymore.
Friendships like any relationship take work on behalf of BOTH parties. If both will not be involved/do not want it.Then, no. If both work at it, and stay forgiving, appreciative, accepting, etc… then yes.
Yes I think it’s possible. Xanga can close and most friendships will be lost but I think special friends will find a way to stay friends. I have friends from childhood. I don’t give up on friends I cherish.
Yeah, but that’ll be like winning five coin flips in a row.
We live very long lives, and in the flow of life, shit is bound to crop up to break friendships: Distance, conflicts, obligations.
Eternal friendship is possible with freeze drying.
I think you could. It is definitely a ton of work because of the fluidity of work/life/whatever now. But isn’t your wife a “friend for life”?
I would like to. My grandma did.
Most of my friends betray me though, so I don’t want them anymore.
I like to form strong bonds with people, but I don’t usually have a lot of friends (except on Xanga).
Yes. I have had several friends for 10+ years after 4 major moves.
It is definitely possible. I have quite a few. I’m not dead yet haha but I’m 59 and have had one friend from elementary school and several that began in high school. I hadn’t had contact with one of those friends for a decade or more. One day I tracked him down. He came to the city and we hung out. Like you said, we hadn’t lost a step. We spent that day sharing adventures we’d had in the interim, reminiscing about experiences we shared in the past and laughing our asses off. That kind of energy doesn’t dissipate over time and we still called each other jerks as we had so many times haha. I’ve also stayed in tough with one friend from work. We were like two peas in a pod.
No, I do not believe so. With as often and quickly the world is changing, people feel the need to keep up- therefore, leaving others behind in the process.
I genuinely think so. If you really love and care for them, even if you don’t get the chance to interact with them on the same level as before, the friendship shouldn’t be affected by it. You’d still love them the same regardless of it. I am still best friends with the same person since the 7th grade. Even though we had lost contact throughout the years, I still think about her from time to time. A few years ago, we happen to find each other again, and it seems that our friendship picked up right where we left off. Our kids are even good friends now.
I do think its possible if there’s genuine love and respect on both sides. It takes work, but it’s well worth it
So far, so good here.
I think so…it just takes the right people.
I don’t make friends easily, so most of the people I currently know are simply acquaintances.
i think so as long as both parties work at it. i guess it’d be like marriage?
It has a lot to do with tolerance and accepting people for who they are. Friendships can be an awesome thing, but it can leave you open. You’re extremely vulnerable to the potentially gritty, negative side often birthed from being close to someone. It’s a risk, just like anything you do. After getting hurt and betrayed or just plain abandoned, I made peace with the fact that I’m a loner, but I still wonder… I mean, recently, whenever I do extend my hand in friendship and really make an effort, it doesn’t work out. Since I occasionally go out of my way, I guess I do believe that friends for life is possible and, to some extent, worth chasing.
Some people just click. There’s so many variables that could explain the “friends for life” phenomenon, but the bottom line is that some people just go well together. It takes a shit-load of luck and maintenance to keep the friendship alive, building that connection and all.
Most of my childhood friends changed up during middle school. Their personalities were vastly different, practically strangers, really. Sure, puberty played a major role in that, but… maybe it was the environment. For me, Middle School was comparable to 73 BC Rome. Add in all the gang violence and wanna-be thug bullshit, I’ll admit that I had trouble conforming—adapting to them. Hell, I went to a completely different high school, just to avoid them. Honestly, it was stupid, troubling times… but mostly stupid.
I do have one friend from way back in the elementary school days, but we’re polar opposites. I suppose he is my “friend for life,” but, over the years, I’ve grown into quite the pessimist. I’m calmly awaiting his visits to diminish. We’re already at that point. Not that I’m a perfectionist or anything, but I can barely hold a conversation with him and, other than our general appreciation for comic books, we really don’t have much in common. That’s it! Twenty-plus years of friendship, hanging by a mere thread of the funny books. It’s something, but it’s also a little sad.
Friends for life is indeed possible, but there’s no guarantee that it will be anything special.
it seems to me that this is only highly possible in places where there is a tight-knit community where everybody knows everybody and you have a relative in every corner of town like in the third world countries due to state of poverty people have to rely on each other.
Sure, it’s possible. But I only have a couple people that I would still call a friend that I met before high school. I’m still friends with a fair amount of people from high school though.
For me it’s possible. I have a very bestfriend! and he’s my cousin at the same time..=)
yes, I think so.
It’s possible!
I’m 55 years old and have three friends from elementary school. We get together one or two times a month to attend concerts or sporting events. We were in each others weddings and maintained contact even when I moved to another town. f5ye-angel5 mentioned a “small community” where everyone knows each other. I think that is true. We grew up in a small town where Main Street (businesses) was only 5-6 blocks long. Many of the people living there were third and fourth generation.
@f5ye_angel5 - I think you are correct; that’s how it was in my case.
Both the Bible and Aristotle (Nichomachean Ethics) say interesting things about friendship. But both indicate that deep, life-long friendship is rare indeed.
I was at a speech given by Donald Trump a few years ago where he cautioned about about close friendship. He said the people who screwed him over the best were once close friends.
I think it is easier to know people for life but not to be good friends for life.
It’s possible but you both have to work at it.
I have a few friends that I’ve been friends with for more than 40 years, so yes, it can be done.
It is possible still, you just have to be committed to the friendship, otherwise it can fall by the wayside, especially if you live far away from each other. I think e-mails are helpful to stay in touch and of course phones. They aren’t dead yet.
@ShimmerBodyCream - Thanks for the laugh girl!
I had and have 2 friends for life. My male friend died a few years ago. I am still married to my best friend.
As long as there’s room in the crawlspace, I don’t see why I can’t keep a friend forever.
My bestest friend and I have known each other for 16 years and I don’t think we’ve ever even had a fight about something. I can’t imagine my life without Kerry. On the other hand I had friends in college that I thought would last forever and most of those have fizzled out. I guess it’s like romance- if your friends are truly right for you, you can make it work no matter what.
one day xanga will no longer exist? WHAAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Lithium98 - LOL this was both hilarious and scary!
I really wish I had a friend like that, but I’ve just never been close with anyone IRL. Every friend that I’ve had that I thought we could last for a long time would end up fizzling and dying soon enough. Sigh. So I’ve largely given up on that dream.
A few of my best friends I’ve known for 20+ years
Came across this entry JUST as I was pondering the same thing myself! Strange!
I really don’t think it’s possible to have friends like the ones we had when we were younger – if we were LUCKY enough to have friends in school, which a lot of people unfortunately weren’t
But yeah, I totally know what you mean… Seems like long ago it was much easier to have friends and just pick up where you left off with them, even after a couple years hiatus!
Now though, maybe all of our standards have risen too high, our level of tolerance for BS has gone way down and it’s just so hard to find people who’ll actually still be in your life five years from now.
I personally have had some really great people come and gone from my life all in the span of a few years, and I find myself thinking, wtf??
How’d everything keep changing so fast?
Not sure if I like it or not – I think not, because I prefer getting close and comfortable with a few people rather than having like hundreds of NON-close acquaintances like on FB, which is usually just for appearances. Oh well. Too bad
Recent events make me think it’s not possible. Or maybe I need better friends.
A quote that has been passed down through at least 5 generations in my family is “you can count your true friends in life on one hand”. Is it possible? Yes. Is it easy or common? No.
I HONESTLY think it depends on the friend, if both you work on it and it is a true or real friend then i can see it working and being able to keep a friend but to make friends today and keep them can be a struggle at times, i like this post, because i think like that on a regular basis, my best friend lives a 2 hour time zone away from me and we are still in contact we talk on the phone over the internet etc, but people i have went to school with worked with old neibours i was friends with i barley have contact with anymore, so really it all depends on the friend but i know the last two years has been harder to meet real people then every before.
I have only kept in touch one of my friends who I known since 11. I am 29 now, we rarely see each other now (cannot remember the last time we saw each other)
As for the other friends from secondary school living in differnet parts of the country, one in Cardiff, one in London am I the centre of the country (remember not all of could be working) the people I know will probbaly have new friends and relationships.
In fact I think about those people who kinda picked on me what are these people up to these days.
My best friend from 8th grade died in 2006 and I felt terrible but it is possible but you have to work at it.
Lisa is now my best friend and we both have husbands and she’s still working and I’m retired but I have grandkids.
We make plans every week to have lunch and spend about 4 hours together. We sometimes have live mess up our plans but we get back on the relationship.
My brother who is 66yrs old lost two childhood friends and they were his only two friends besides his wife. Right now he’s hurting cause it will be hard to find another buddy but I said,”if you don’t it’s going to be a lonely rest of your life.
to ( towards ) make ( create ) friends ( a person we like or trust ) for ( purpose ) life (living matter )..to make friends for life…sure why not ?
It’s possible.. but not at all likely. More and more we are being raised in a way that doesn’t encourage us to work hard on anything, including relationships of all types. You do what you want, you drop those who do one thing that challenges your behavior, and there is little true sacrifice and commitment. Friends nowadays are just accessories. It’s difficult to find someone honest, loyal, forgiving, and willing to grow. All those things (and more), in my opinion, are needed for long-lasting friendships.
Friendship r like relationship i do agree i miss my guy friend ppl leave n ppl stay it takes a strong person to say in ur life
I definitely think so, but not many. Sometimes you meet someone who is special that you want around for when you get married, have kids, you want them in your life. I’ve only got a few of those, probably 5 of them
for me, all my good friends are from the school days. After school, the other friends i made just didn’t share the same friendship as the friends i made in school/college.
In a way we can, the memory of having that wonderful friendship. As for actual friends, if together you are not walking hand in hand, paths tend to go separate ways. If you can catch my drift.
Who the hell is this blogger who gave his girlfriend his dead wife’s vibrator. It is sad that I had to scroll to get a decent thought.
Yes you can. Mary was my friend since we were six years old. Seven years ago she got alzheimer’s. One of the first indications was when I took her a collage with the name Ralph on it and she wondered who that was. He was also a friend since then. Later her husband brought her by at her request to see me and she was crying so hard and said he was abusing her. Right away I went out to their car with a rollong pin to bash him in the side of the head. When I took her, he shook his head where she couldn’t see and suddenly the answer was there….she had Alzheimer’s. It went pretty fas after that and to make this short, evey time I visited her she knew my name. Long after she forgot her children’s names. Finall we both came to the same nursing home cause I had broken my hip. He brought her up. in a wheelchair. Her head was hanging and I couldn’t get her to respond. Finally I held her hands and sang,
“Jesus love, Yes, Jesus loves me, Yes, Jesus loves me The bible tells me so” Mary and I grew up with that song. After a few visits she knew me and sang with me. I am not saying she got really well. She did not. I felt so sorry for her husband.
So a friend’s bond can be very strong. I hope you all find one as I did with my lovely Mary who died two years ago and Paul followed the next year.
I know the feeling… I started on Yahoo360 (died), than
Multiply (died, or sold out to Malaysia for selling things)… now I am on here
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