April 3, 2013
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Gay By Choice or By Birth?
Recently a group of people were sitting around and one person said that they believed that people were gay by choice. Another suggested that people were born gay.
The person that thought people were gay by choice said that most people that were gay had tough childhoods and were often molested as children.Do you think gay people are born gay or gay by choice?
Comments (129)
Neither born or by choice. I would say it is mostly response to their experiences growing up.
I definitely don’t think it’s by choice. why would anybody ever choose to be gay? I also don’t agree with the statement about gay people being molested. I’ve known plenty of straight people who’ve been molested but are still straight and plenty who haven’t been but are still gay.
i think some girls are bisexual by choice for thinking that it’s hot.
Environmental and biological factors both play a role in sexuality. I also failed the gay test.
They ultimately make a choice. God never made anybody homosexual.
I think many are born gay, but they DO choose to listen to Lady Ga Ga, and that’s just unforgivable.
Does it matter? The problem is non acceptance by others who are not gay.
Why anyone would choose to be shunned by their families and society is beyond me. I don’t think it’s a choice.
Nice, Dan, so you consider gay to be “bad news”? So lovely to see your ignorant side of things.
This is like asking if someone was born bipolar, or chose to be bipolar. Born schizophrenic, or chose to be schizophrenic. It is neither.
@paoguy118 - I never made a god damn choice. At 9 years old I cried myself to sleep because I knew in my heart that I had this massive secret and if I had to marry a man I would never be happy. At 9 I thought I was transexual because I thought about girls and not boys. At 13 I developed an eating disorder from suppressing the fact that I was gay and it made me so sick. I never made a choice, the only choice I made was to live as an openly gay woman because that is what will make me happy. Because the love of my life just so happens to be a girl, and the choice I made was to tell her I love her. I didn’t make a choice, maybe many factors came into play but I know I never woke up and decided “oh hey, I think I might be a lesbian.”
God didn’t make me, my parents did, and they did a great job.
@amateurprose - I like what he said.
@mtngirlsouth - I am not schizophrenic. I have schizophrenia. Big difference. And knowing what I know now about the illness going on six years in, I wouldn’t give it up in a million years. In other words, I would choose schizophrenia over ‘normal’ any day of the week.
To Dan: I figure that those who are gay and have been out long enough for their family and friends to accept them wouldn’t trade it for the world. I’m not gay, but I am asexual. In high school and college the ‘normal’ way would have appeared awesome as that would have opened up a lot of doors. But you know, I just knew that wasn’t my path. Instead I wondered about homosexuality, but guys just don’t appeal to me on any level. So in the end it is just me. I figure that’s just the way it was meant to be. I do think about marrying one day and having kids, but if that doesn’t happen then I’m not going to be too broken up about it. Straight, Gay, Ace, whatever…life will always have it’s challenges. I don’t believe that anyone chooses their sexuality any more than they choose the challenges that come with it. The important thing is to accept yourself, and try your best to find others who will accept you no matter what you fill in on the multiple choice sexuality quiz.
Are straight people heterosexual at birth or by choice?
Most learned to be gay from their liberal teachers or went to those special counseling and therapy sessions which are available to become gay if one so chooses.
@Shadowrunner81 - Either way, you do not HAVE schizophrenia BECAUSE you chose it. Sexuality is exactly like any other mental condition. Because that’s all it is.
No one is born gay, just like no one is born straight. You go with what you feel. If you feel attracted to the same sex then you are gay, but if you feel attracted to the opposite sex you’re straight obviously. Falling in love with whoever isn’t a choice but a feeling. However, from my experience in knowing a few bisexuals; I know some who chose to be gay or straight. I still wouldn’t call it a choice, it’s more like they leaned towards who they felt they really were.
Not choice but it is a nature nurture thing. I’m on the side of believing it’s epigenetics.
Both… either way, does it matter? Tired of this… made or born, it does not cause harm.
Either way, I don’t care. My mom is lesbian and she suppressed it for many years. Hence, mine and my siblings existence. I don’t think people should have to hide who they are to please other people. We only get one life. I am not basing my happiness off of what someone else does in the privacy of their own home. There are worst things in this world that better deserve all this time and attention.
i’ve always wondered… why does it matter? does sexuality being a choice mean that it’s less acceptable?
Should it even matter? Let them live how they want to live their life. I don’t know why it’s anyone else business whether someone is gay and why they shouldn’t be or whatever. Orgies for everybody.
all these labels. what if people just do things, with or without reason? it wouldnt matter either way. it is what it is.
Probably both.
Why not just by nature? I do not think anyone chooses to be gay. And there have been conclusive tests that shows that animals show signs of homosexuality, just as much as gays. However, theirs may be less clean cut as ours, they might be gay one day and the next straight. Ours is if you’re gay you’re gay. I vote by nature.
I can’t say what I think because I don’t know. I’m not a scientist so I can’t confirm or deny whether or not we have any gay genetic predispositions. I could only point out two things: as it occurs in animals, homosexuality seems to most often be a product of environmental adaption. That’s one reason i disagree with religion labeling it an abomination. Where its occurred in nature, its symptomatic OF some imbalance.. so there. We have to ask ourselves what we did to create the problem that resulted in such adaption in our species.
Is it because we’re overpopulating the planet? Living too close together in many of our models of civilization? We aughta take a look at what we’re doing wrong instead of telling them they’re the one’s doing wrong.
As to this question: I do know at least two people who CHOSE to be gay and could point out some time in their life in which they weren’t gay, so.. I at least could say for some people it’s a choice. Most of the gay people I know have never said they were this way since birth. They always reference something that just made them gravitate that way. It’s probably not too different than how I arrived at liking women.
I cannot confirm or deny that some others might have been born with
it, although I’ve never heard anything decisive to support that idea and
heard some cockamamie pseudo-science before (having extra chromosomes,
for example).
When I was a little boy, roundabout 4 or 5 I discovered I liked girls.. or more precisely.. women.. but of course little girls around had no part in that. If memory serves me, I modeled my attraction on women around me, on TV and such. That was just sort of solidified as I began actually reading the instruction manual for my penis.. in the process of which discovering that it’s more than a peeing device. I could probably completely trace my own path to these realizations but it might be very boring. I probably just sort of abstained before that, honestly.
I don’t think I gave it much thought or action previous to that time.
Some people’s comments on are here are unbelievable. There are so many stupid, ignorant people on this planet it is just crazy. The day that some of you pass away will be a great day for the human-race. If you have children I feel so much sympathy for them for having such imbeciles as parents.
Dan- I’m disappointed in this post. Shame on you for starting shit. Everyone on Xanga has done this already, and it’s nobody’s business who people chose to be with.
I don’t think anyone chooses to be gay. Scratch that, I KNOW people don’t choose to be gay. Sexuality is obviously something you are born with. (Even if you did choose to be gay…I don’t see what the big fucking deal is. Either way.) That goes for pedophiles, zoophiliacs, necrophiliacs, etc. I don’t think those people choose to like those things, but they do. Because, really, who would choose to do those things? lmfao my best friend just told me something she heard about pedophiles in class the other day, though. The professor said that they can change what they DO and not have sexual relations with a child, but they cannot stop the thoughts of wanting to. That goes for gay people as well. So much for a “cure.” You can stop a person from having sexual relations with the same sex, but they certainly won’t stop thinking about it. Anyway, I’ll take a gay person’s word for it any day. If they say they were born gay, I’m going to believe it because, y’know, they know better than a straight person. So fuck what everyone else says gggrrr.
Sometimes I’m tempted to make a conscious decision to turn gay, just to upset the religious fruitcakes.
Since it’s been documented for the entirety of human history, is found in lots of animal species, and is pretty much evenly distributed within all demographics and geographic locations, I’d have to say… fuchsia. Fuchsia is my final answer.
some people are born straight, others gay and some are bisexual.. being gay is a 100% natural thing.. and it occurs on other species like pinguins. Being gay or straigt is just like being left or right handed.
And everyone can say what they want but your sexual orientatian is not a choice.. I’m a bisexual teenager myself so i know where i’m talking about. At a specific point in our life we just realize we are attracted to the same sex. I’ve been attracted to guys my whole life.. I just didnt know cause being gay is something you dont know as a kid.
everyone straight here who says its a choice doesnt know anything about it… seriously.. do u think people would choose to be gay if we had a choice? -no.. every human being wants to be straight.. including me.. but when you are born like this you just have to accept it!
Also being molested or having a tough youth has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Until now.. i’ve never had any problems in my life, i’ve never been bullied and I’ve enjoyed my youth as any other teenager.
My gawd people, it’s a fucking choice. Get over it! I also failed that stupid Gay test. Obviously it’s not 100% accurate!
i’m maniacsicko by choice
You get born as a gay, it’s something that gets locked up in your genes. I do believe the kind of gay you become depends on what your life looks like; as in the ‘man’ , ‘woman’ or bi.
@Love_in_102 - well then, give your opinion, and why you hold it.
@jari_xD - a decent Neo-Freudian psychiatrist would ask you to be fully forthcoming about your relationship to your parents. MOM, particularly. Did she wear the pants in the family? My point is you don’t seem to show much self-knowledge from a psychological point of view – the family dynamics that oriented you away from seeing feminine creatures as attractive, and likewise, establishing a healthy responsible masculinity.
@stadsjongen - can you please try to make a sensible statement, we’d love to see what the heck you really are trying to say.
@maniacsicko - well, in that case, behave yourself, or go away.
@olwd - is it a choice BECAUSE you say it is? can you please state the reason(sic) you hold that opinion, and don’t hold a more scientific opinion, like there is no scientific evidence for your opinion?
@angelwingfive - and been viewed as a sexual and moral disorder the whole time too, add that.
@mortimerZilch – Because I know that I am undoubtedly 100% heterosexual and always have been, and that I couldn’t be gay even if I wanted to, because it’s just not a part of me. It’s not in my genetic makeup. Why would I expect someone who identifies as gay to be able to say anything differently?
@mortimerZilch -
Nope my parents are like most parents.. stereotypical dad and stereotypical mom. And being masculine has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. Some gays look feminine but others like me just look like any other guy.. on the inside and on the outside.
you’re straight.. good for you but dont say stuff like this cause you dont know shit about it..
@coldlikeyouweredead - well then just say anything you want to, it doesn’t really matter, it doesn’t even have to make sense, who cares, right?
@mortimerZilch - That’s my choice and opinions aren’t scientific. I will not get into this with you so if you are smart, you can either answer politely or go the fuck away. IT IS YOUR CHOICE!
@Love_in_102 - how the heck can you say it is in your genetic makeup and not in your early childhood bonding experiences with your parents? are you a geneticist? they don’t see it btw….are you going to talk sense soon?
@mortimerZilch – well then sir expert, please explain yourself also, because while I’m trying to do exactly that you’re just throwing around insults.
@jari_xD - you, dude, are going to have to be able to DIFFERENTIATE among your parents beyond the “stereotypical” stage. How’s THEIR sex life? Do you know whether your father ever went to prostitutes and if so how often? Do you know if your beloved mother ever cheated with the plumber, or whomever? What do you really know about them? Because behind the stereotypical front they presented to you…lie hidden the causes of your profound disorientation, perhaps.
@mortimerZilch -
being gay or bi isnt a desorientation man.. does 10% of the whole human population have a disorder? I dont think so…
and besides sexual orientation hasnt to do anything with your environment, education, …
I’ve been bisexual my whole life.. you cant understand that because you’re not standing in my shoes!
@mortimerZilch – well? Cat got your tongue or what?
I see sexual orientation – either gay or straight – developing on the same operative principles. Obviously, modern science has yet to pin it down with any great certainty, that’s one reason why its a disputive issue these days. But there seems to be SOME biological components, at some level BELOW the gene level. (There is no “gay” gene; it doesn’t exist. But the protein mix is not nearly well understood yet.) Yet even a general statement like “some biological component” is very confusing because people you might think would be surely gay, aren’t; and vice-versa. So that argument, the biological argument, is still very unclear. What is CLEAR about the biological argument is that it is NOT DETERMINATIVE…it’s not the deciding factor if one is gay or straight. More weight is being cast on the DEVELOPMENTAL argument, which leans heavily on classical psychological premises, premises that are not in favor with the drug dealing shrinks these days. IT’s HOW YOU GROW UP and the life experiences of the young that direct PERSONALITY formation. GAYNESS is a personality thing. Straightness is a personality issue. Sexual orientation is a personality issue. It’s not biological, mostly not. More developmental. Therefore there are a broad spectrum of causes for homosexuality, or SAME SEX ATTRACTION as it is more appropriately called. Choice is definitely a component of personality development, but not the only one. Early childhood experiences in the family really is the area that GOOD SCIENCE is looking at right now. I think bringing back breastfeeding would help straighten things out a lot. Also, having an economy that is not imploded upon itself would also help men be assertive and creative of stable family life and therefore be a good role model for the masculine image a child knows at home.
I think that we have no control over who we find ourselves attracted to, but we can choose whether or not we want to pursue that attraction. I think that there are a lot of people who think that being gay is wrong, so they suppress their feelings and try to be “normal.” Personally, I think people should do what makes them happy as long as it’s not hurting anyone else. If there is a loving God, I don’t think he would want people to spend their lives in misery, pretending to feel differently from how they actually feel.
@Love_in_102 - I’m trying ! here’s something just for you, ty.
I don’t think it matters, but I don’t think it is a choice. Except for those girls who pretend to be bi because they know guys like that, totally different issue.
@TheyCallHerEcho88 - I very much appreciate your comment, which contains so many important things in just a few sentences! Therefore I can nothing better than ask you if you have yet read the great great book by Dale O’Leary, “One Man, One Woman”. If not, you will really like it because it deals with everything your comment touched on, and deals with it with great depth of thought, and full of references to scientific literature. I think this book is a real treasure, and not to be missed.
@jari_xD - I would say 100% of the human race is disordered, in one way or another*. We had been just discussing sexual orientation, and yeah, way more than 10% of humanity is SEXUALLY disordered, I’d bet my eyeteeth on that one.
* Catholic doctrine of Original Sin, a real zinger that one. google it.
@TheyCallHerEcho88 - to add on. you said,”as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone”…think about that…being a straight playboy or philanderer certainly can hurt people too…in that same vein, the “gay lifestyle” is so much more highly promiscuous it must certainly be wrong and harmful…and makes me wonder why they want to get married…then divorced of course….duh, what’s that? Should that be supported by law? no way, Ray.
@mortimerZilch - I think that’s making a lot of assumptions about a lot of people (i.e., calling all gay people “sluts”). In that same vein of logic, if there is ever any proof that a person (hetero or homo) is a philanderer or has been a philanderer in the past, they shouldn’t be allowed to marry, either. For the record, I don’t think that should be a law. MY point (that you misconstrued) was that gay marriage does not cause anyone any harm. No more harm than heterosexual marriages do, anyway. Homosexuals can have loving, monogamous relationships just as heterosexuals can, and if they want to express their love through marriage, then I don’t see why that should affect anyone else.
@Love_in_102 - agree with you!
@TheyCallHerEcho88 - I didn’t use the word “sluts” and don’t accuse me of that. What I said was that gays are far more promiscuous than straights. Do you want me to go online and google the statistics for that? Most gays accept that as a fact, because they know it is true, which it is. – You used the word “sluts”. – Also, it is not readily acceptable to say gay marriage does no harm. It does tremendous harm. Why else do you think there is such a backlash against it, for instance in France, where over a million people marched against a gay marriage law? So, don’t just make a bald statement that gay marriage causes no harm, and think it should be accepted at face value. First, the words “gay” and “marriage” are not meant to go together, it’s a kind of oxymoron. Marriage is between a man and a woman, and is the basic social unit. This is what builds a strongly bonded, psychologically healthy base for civilization. The male-female sexual bond completes the Person known as MAN, sexuality being the ONLY shared biological system. Thus “gay sex” (another oxymoron) is not true sex, and is not truly fulfilling of the Human Person. Second, it is totally unnecessary to demand equalizing the category “marriage” with the category of “gay union”.
It is not a matter of rights. Not at all. Gays can gain whatever civil benefits there may be in marriage by the establishment of a “civil union” law. Then marriage as a special unit is not compromised and remains UNHARMED.
Vaccines cause homosexuality. Here’s the link: http://www.advocate.com/health/2013/04/02/italian-scientist-vaccinations-cause-homosexuality Like the commercial says, it was posted on the internet so it has to be true. (This comment is a joke!)
Homosexuality can be cured by castor oil enemas while praying to Jesus.
i dont judge i got alot of gay friends and your born normal then once you grow up you decide witch path to take either the stright way or the Gay way thats how i veiw this topic:)
I don’t think people should have opinions about things they have never felt themselves.
abuse = being gay? I don’t think so.
Only your hairdresser knows for sure.
@Ikwa – Thanks
@Texasjillcarmel – agreed. I don’t know where people ever got that notion from.
Dan’s tactics;
>ask controversial question he doesnt really give a shit about
>let people who give a shit about it argue in the comments
>more comments
>more views
>???
>profit
Teach me, sensei.
@JinnLedet – you catch on quick!
@Love_in_102 - It took me 4 years, but I finally get it.
Honestly, I strongly believe nature and nurture contribute to it.
I’ve read studies that say all fetuses start out as female, but during the transition in utero, some fetuses still maintain those feminine characteristics/biology and such.
When we’re born, we’re shaped by our experiences as our parents teach us what they feel is right and wrong and by our own views.
@JinnLedet - His secret is to use as little of his time as possible and post everyday. I would guess he spends about 3 minutes an entry. He reads the news anyway so there is no research time. Back in the days when posting more than once a day would get you more than one top stop, he posted every few hours. Can you guess what field he works in? The industry is not at all important
@Love_in_102 - thanks jill
I don’t believe it’s a choice for most. No one would choose the life of bullying and ridicule that they tend to face.
Dan, I think the real question here is…..what do *YOU* think?
Okay, me being gay. I believe people were born gay just like others were born straight. Apart from neuroscience having it’s say, there’s no reason for it, some people are gay, like some people are blonde. People are so judgmental, we as people make ‘being gay’ look wrong.. of course, there’s nothing wrong with being gay or straight, both of them are still individual people with souls, feelings, hearts, dreams, ambitions and tastes, it’s the judgmental people that do not like ‘different’.
Oh and people don’t just ‘turn’ gay; they just find out that’s who they are. You can’t just turn a straight guy gay, it’s like you can’t turn a gay guy straight.
Now the way people act; that’s different. I act just like every other straight guy, but some gays act really feminine (I even know a few straights who act feminine). This is down to choice; in my opinion of course.
I don’t see that it makes a difference?
I first noticed I was attracted to girls AND boys in the 4th grade. I knew it wasn’t “normal” and I was extremely ashamed of it. I wasn’t molested or abused. That being said, I didn’t choose or want to be attracted to both genders. No 4th grader chooses to be gay or bisexual. It’s something we are born with.
For me, the greatest argument I have heard against the idea gay people chose to be gay–
Straight person: If it’s a choice, then at this second, chose to be gay.
Are homophobes born that way, or is that a choice?
Who cares?
We are all born with peculiarities unique to ourselves. We are all raised by other human beings and influenced by them as we grow. Any cocktail of circumstances can cause us to become who we are.
What matters is that we do what is right.
@hintofblue - very well said.
Both biological and environmental factors contribute to how human being functions and what they become.
They r gay by choice…… When u r born u don’t know ur gay…. U don’t even know wat being gay is@Oo_Welsh_Kizza_oO -
@SadBoy4 - dude, if it was down to choice I’d be straight…. I’d give anything to be just like my friends. I’m not gonna argue against your beliefs or anything. But you won’t know you’re gay until you actually hit puberty…. But being gay by choice sounds ridiculous… It’s in the genes.
Baby I Was Born This way ANd I Love It (:
Im MySelf And I Am happy.
Also Im Caute Jk.
Im Uglie. ^0^
Well Add Meh On Here .
Even Thoee Im Ugliee (:
Research from Harvard has shown there’s no conclusive proof to the notion that homosexuality is predetermined at birth, and that it’s not genetic. Sexuality is determined by environment and psychology, so the “born with it” notion is just false.
http://isites.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do?keyword=k78405&pageid=icb.page414413
if it was by choice would I be 100% straight lol
People, nothing is as simple as 98% of you make it out to be. It is also clear that you have no grasp on many of the intricities of biology, especially as it relates to human relationships. No, not everyone is the same, true enough, and so there are gay people without prominent biological determinants, but the majority if them share certain features. Yes, im bisexual so someone is going to criticize me, but at least i know what im talking about. A portion of the brain known as the hypothalamus, a control center of sorts of hormone secretion and regulation, has been found to be about three times larger in homosexuals proportionally than in heterosexuals. Significance? This is the same proportion as in the female brain. Lesbians have a hypothalamus comparable to that of a heterosexual male. To have such a prominent difference in the emotional and pheromonal section of our brain should not be ignored as coinicdence. As this likely correlates to the pheromone receptors and interpretation (though we are still unclear to how exactly pheromones work) this can make a huge difference. If homosexuals are just made to accept male pheromone then theres nothing we can do about it. We dont want to be gay. We prefer to be seemlessly accepted and straight. Yes, we can fake it, but our minds instincts are running counter to our active decisions if we do. Society is so biased against the gays that why in hell would we want to be gay?
@SadBoy4 - i’d have to agree with welsh kizza. If i had the choice i’d be straight .. i wanna be able to have the same conversations all my friends have and not feel like i’m lying or feel out of place but yeah i can’t help it so i have to say i myself do not think it is a choice , at least one that we make consciously.
How when u born ur not like I’m gay!!!! U might not think its a choice but it is….. Honestly I think it’s a self conscious one…… And u can be str8 if u want just like girls@kyleburke360 -
How?!!! OMG u don’t HAVE to like guys! If u dont want to then don’t! Everybody who doesn’t want to needs to stop being proud of it and b str8 if its that big a deal@Oo_Welsh_Kizza_oO -
@SadBoy4 - that’s much easier said than done. Don’t think i didn’t try not to long ago. in my opinion if it is a choice which i highly doubt it’s made unconsciously not self-consciously cos i sure as hell did not want to be gay when i first realized in fact i hated it. Now i’m contempt with who i am but if i could be straight i would do it no questions asked
@SadBoy4 - My challenge to you is start liking guys to the exclusion of all else. I know you wont, but my point stands. I cant just say “hey i like girls and not guys!” i can date a girl all i want, have straight sex all i want but that wont change my natural inclination to guys. Your ignorance is astounding
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI1_jzPEcwU really helpful video this says it all.
@SadBoy4 - you think I haven’t friggin tried!? :/ dude, I would love a life with a wife and kids and etc.. But it’s not gonna work. This magical thing of mine called a penis just doesn’t wanna say hi to a vagina :/ I hope that’s descriptive enough for you. You could be bi and have a completely different view of things… Like @dkai95 explained very complicatedly, it’s our hormone thing (biology isn’t my strong point)… Just don’t argue with it, turning straight is bull shit.
@dkai95 – Woah! Quite interesting findings. Can you cite your sources?
I think by birth and the way you are raised determines how you choose to live your life. If by denying who you really are or by going by what you are taught.
@Love_in_102 - This is from a series of articles i recieved from my teacher that we had to analyze and evaluate so i dont have links currently. I can however scrounge around to see what i can locate link-wise
@dkai95 - nah, that’s ok, I’ll just do some research myself, but thanks
@Love_in_102 - Be aware there is another experiment (i think by someone called like LeVay) that is similar by very flawed in procedure and should not be taken as legit
@dkai95 – ok, thanks for the warning. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m browsing info.
I think there is a choice, and I do not by any means believe its by birth. we are who we are because of what we were exposed to in our childhood. we can ultimately choose what we want to be, but certain circumstances waver us one way over another just because of how our mind works.
My aunt was gay (She changed recently and her personal life is all messed up at the moment). she has completely flipped everything and now likes guys. her whole mentality has changed about women. its weird. But certain circumstances has changed her mentality about it.
I really don’t care if a person is homosexual or not. its your ‘issue’, not mine. I have no rights to say that you are doing something wrong or right just as much as you have rights to tell me that i’m doing something wrong.
People aren’t born gay or made by choice. It’s the things that surround them. For example: you’re a porn addict. You wern’t BORN a porn addict, nor CHOSE to be addicted. Getting molested by a child MAY have an effect on a persons sexuality, but that’s not the only thing that determines it.
I don’t really care, and I don’t think other people’s private sex lives are anyone else’s business. All I can say is that if you’re happy and not at the expense of other people’s happiness, then it means you’re doing something right.
@ShimmerBodyCream - Me too. And the same is true every time I look at you.
@Ellelarien - You are one pretty lesbian!
@Love_in_102 - I totaly agree with im gay and wasn’t molested
Even Dr. Drew from Love Line used to joke when a man called in and said he was gay, “Are you a REAL gay, or were you molested?” … It turned out that a LARGE chunk of men were actually molested, etc…
I think it’s both and neither to be honest.
Human sexuality is difficult… Why are some people seemingly A-sexual? Why are others attracted to only certain KINDS of people?
In the end I don’t believe it matters what the REASON is. How to care for/treat people is the bigger issue.
It’s a little bit of both? You can be born one way or the other and choose to act a certain way. Just don’t force your beliefs on others… Religious or the belief that someone is gay. Don’t ridicule and/or oppress people. How people live their lives is their choice…
Sexual imprinting occurs during adolescence, I believe. link The link says the first two decades, but I’m skeptical of that.
There are people who are heterosexual by orientation, but act as homosexuals because of early sexual abuse. They are very messed up emotionally. There was a theory that a strong mother/weak father tended to incline boys towards homosexuality.
When researchers looked at identical twins and homosexual tendencies, it seems that there was some linkage. Some twins were both homosexual, but a lot were split. This seems to favor the theory that sexuality is imprinted, not genetic. We would expect some sets of twins to be exposed to the same imprinting influence, but not all, if sexuality were imprinted.
I don’t know. I do know the the argument “most people that were gay had tough childhoods and were often molested as children” is mere bluster.
One of my friends when I was a preteen kid seemed more like a girl in his behavior and physical movements. He didn’t like sports and threw a football like the guy teaching his kid how to throw a baseball in that Suburu commercial. He was a good guy and very smart. We hung out a lot with other friends in the neighborhood. We lost touch but I bumped into him in 20s. He was gay. He wasn’t abused as a kid. His parents were very nice people. Us kids didn’t pick on him.
I honestly don’t know, and I don’t consider it any of my business. But if I had to guess, I’d say a combination of genetics and influence, but definitely not a choice. I know I didn’t choose to be heterosexual. I know I couldn’t possibly make myself be attracted to another man. I didn’t choose anything that works for me, sexually. I can’t imagine a homosexual has any more choice in the matter. If you are able to choose, there’s a word for that: bisexual.
my friend’s aunt makes $80/hour on the computer. She has been unemployed for 7 months but last month her income was $19182 just working on the computer for a few hours. Read more on this site http://www.wow83.com
I know someone who made the choice to be gay only because she had bad experiences with men and decided she will date women and had a couple relationships with women. By saying this, I’m not stating I believe people are gay by choice; I honestly don’t know and I don’t see what the point is talking about it anyway.
I would say some are born and some choice to be when I was a twelve year boy I would sneak done of my aunts clothes like tests and bras and put them on and that’s when I new I was different so when ii was old enough I would walk in KMart and buy panties now I’m adios to do that but I found this website call suddenly fem they sale women clothing to fit men and alot of other stuff like breast forms makeup jewery female hormones and that’s what I am a lady trap in a mans body when I can I’m going to buy some hormones to have softer skin breast longer hair and to chance my voice a little I can’t wait so I was born this way I never found girls attractive and I seen a hot man I would say to my self your hot thanks for letting tell you this I’m attractive to men and shemales shemales cuz they have what I like between the legs
@mtngirlsouth - Actually the medical and scientific communities believed schizophrenia was from 60-90% genetic. There were over 40 years of clinical trials which produced very little but confusion. What the clinical trials did eventually discover is that certain genes switched off certain codes, and that had something to do with how schizophrenia developed, but not what causes the disorder.
Several years ago I came upon an article in Discover magazine http://boingboing.net/2010/11/12/retroviruses-and-sch.html Which presented promising new thinking puting forth the idea that schizophrenia and MS may very probably be caused by bits of retroviruses every human being carries in the helix of our genes. I don’t think Discover is always a very good source, but it is a good start. I think you would find the article interesting and you might even dig a little deeper. I have done a little digging, and find the work of the researchers shows great promise.
Blessings,
@Such_are_you - Interesting. Thanks!
@LKJSlain - You should know that your seemingly kind comment offends me.
@mtngirlsouth -
@Such_are_you - Interesting.
@Shadowrunner81 - I think it is. For the first time we’re beginning to see that everything genetic isn’t always about our own DNA. Our genes carry the codes to life, but there may well be viral hackers hijacking in our genes working against us.
Well … I’m gay. and I did not choose to be gay. I had a great childhood, raised by great parents. I knew I was different even when I was a small child. No one molested me and then I turned gay. I realized I was gay since very young, and ON MY OWN I had already been more attracted to men rather than women. I was always best friends with girls, I of course tried to not give in to my NATURAL feelings and attempted to date women thinking I was just confused but the more I dated women the more of the idea of being with a woman intimately or in a long term relationship was not something I wanted. All in all, I knew I was gay and in a sense I did choose to be gay, because gay is who I am so I chose to be myself not pretend to be something I’m not.
@boricua_chic_2008 - I think I was born straight. Because I knew I was attracted to guys since I was 4 at least… (which is the farthest my memory goes.)
But I thought it was interesting that there were a pair of twins (identical!) where one was gay and one was straight. So it’s not exactly genetic!
everyone go watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9WKW6fw7I4 then ull learn everything
but seriously… the video also lists scholarly sources that support everything it states…so yea now stop arguing about why people are gay xD at the core of the argument HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT A CHOICE. There are theories on what causes it none are fully proven yet as far as ik but it is NOT A CHOICE. That is the one thing research has proven.
I’m not gay, but I know that I’ve always aimed to choose my own sexual activity and also would really hate to make a claim that I have no choice in who I am or what I do. I suspect that if I were gay, I would claim it as a choice.
@amateurprose - They also choose to listen to that Korean guy, Flung Poo (no pun intended) and do his little dance. TOTALLY unacceptable as well. But as to the being gay part in and of itself, who cares, I do enjoy 2 women in bed with me.
i believe most are born gay. i do believe some choose to be gay because of certain circumstances. either way, it doesn’t matter. gay or straight.. we all bleed red. i wish people would accept people instead of just tolerating them. tolerance is NOT acceptance.
@Celestial_Teapot - I love answering questions with questions
This is a good point, though. Not many people think to ask themselves this, they’re too focused on the “Gay: Choice or Born?” arguments.
I think I was watching a show on Netflix about this. I think they said it was by birth according to a study…either way I do believe they were born that way.