One of my best friends is a drug addict… and he is in complete denial. I never give up on trying to help him, but maybe I’m in complete denial too.
Yes more than one
Yes.
It is true that you really can’t do much to help a drug addict.
Not in a romantic way.
It is indeed very difficult. Loving anyone with a mental illness can be very trying.
This sounds a bit harsh (ok, really harsh) but you can’t help a person who doesn’t want help. No matter how much it hurts to watch someone self-destruct, unless they want to stop, there’s nothing you can do to stop them. It’s heartbreaking.
Help me help you. That’s what I tell my patients.
Only as a mentor… not in my house — NO WAY!
I have been both the drug addict and a family member of two other drug addicts which helps understand it, no there really is nothing you can do. Maybe stop enabling if that’s happening then they might reach their bottom quicker but that’s about it. It sucks
That would be so difficult but (probably to my own detriment in some way too) I am extremely anti-drugs so there is a slim possibility of me even being around or meeting someone who is addicted to drugs or if I did as soon as I find out that they are involved with drugs I distance myself. Call it judgemental or whatever, I’m ok with it. I do however have my brother suffering from mental illness and that is so hard because I just don’t get it. You want to help and you want to see them help themselves! But there is nothing that you can really do and it’s hard. I imagine it would be like that to love a drug addict.
My boyfriend is a gambling addict. His medical diagnosis was pathological gambling. It’s caused so much stress in our relationship. He’s finally agreed to go to GA though so there’s hope. But I’m at the end of my rope cause a bookie is harassing him non-stop because of the money he owes. I’m afraid my bf will end up killing himself because of his debt…
I’ve been in love with one and still am. For life. Myself.
Yes, several. Some have died, some are on their way there. It’s a heartbreaking thing to have the memories of who they were before the disease took control. It’s horrible to watch them slowly deteriorate, and it’s worse knowing nothing you can think of doing could ever be enough to “fix” them.
A few alcoholics, yes. Only one of them changed, and that was because he wanted to. Which is really what it comes down to.
Well – actually – you CAN get some very good advice on how to best assist an addicted person in breaking the addiction. But few people want to spend the time to investigate what that is – and they further screw up the addict.
Al Anon for example is a good resource.
I will have to suggest that when a person is addicted to anything he is repudiating the Holy Spirit. Repudiating the Holy Spirit is the only way for a Christian to not stay a Christian. Some addicts are so far gone that they have made something else as their G-d.
Yes, multiple people.
I don’t even know any drug addicts…
yes father, mother, brother. It’s sad.
My Biological fathers a drug addict =(
Yes, I have a nephew in jail right now, his 3rd time there because of meth.
No but someone loved me until I got clean and they still love me now years later.
@rocketopossum – Yes I’m. to do good ting not be a good man .for me to look I’m 4 and c 4 ting just do it the way is the way?
Excellent blog
@isitreal_no – ditto on the drugs, sorry about your brother.
@Ellelarien – haha, isn’t that what your mother said? I do agree however.
I’ve never done drugs and until after high school I had never drank. We do so in moderation. I think it would be difficult to do this, love someone addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Speaking as a drug addict , I try not to hurt those I love , but I know it do . As far as my usage , I’m not going to stop until I’m ready , and with my situation who knows when that will be…..
Yes. And you’re right. It’s not only difficult, but it tears you apart as well.
my dad belonged to the CIA; catholic, Irish and alcoholic.
my best friend’s half-sister makes $80 every hour on the laptop. She has been fired from work for 5 months but last month her income was $18363 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Go to this web site and read more http://www.rev24.com
Yes, and I still love him even though we are not together.
I could not let his addiction become my prison.
Several members.
Not drugs or alcohol, no. Just food addicts eating themselves to death (myself included).
Just a temporary flame who enjoyed her share of marijuana. I think hers was a psychological addiction rather than physical.
I did love an addict, I thought well he’s not really that bad, and then I thought I could help him, then I watched him unravel and then I had to say goodbye to a coffin in which his body lied.
I fell out of love with someone after he sunk into the depths of addiction… It’s impossible for me to love someone who doesn’t care anything about the family they built and would rather spend all their time and money getting high. They say the opposite of love is indifference, but my feelings for him are just disgust.
It doesn’t appear that way to me. Yeah tons of caffeine addicts. And these irrational, emotional fucks who LOVE other people, which is just an unhealthy dysfunctional brain pattern too. In all seriousness though, I don’t happen to know anyone who does hard drugs.
Yes. My husband. It sucks to go through his struggles and have a family.
yes my Friend Tim We first meet back in 2010 He was a Person who wont let you in on His Life but He did introduce me to His Family that was cool ok well we been in contact for awhile and we hang out 24/7 but over the past few years I only got to see Him High and the last time I saw Him He dont a line of something in front of me I was like wow but it never phased me what it was because I have seen alot of people doing drugs but Me i dont do them.And I spent the night with him beacause we were close then one of his friends was like Tim was comeing off of being high and hasent sleep for 3 nights and that is why he wasent up at 12 when i was so i kindly waited until he got up from his nap but he got up for like 5 minutes looked at me wierd and I left him on the couch.Well this was October 10 2011 and I heard the following morning when I was at home he got arested and well its now 2013 and He is in Prison for alot of crap and I hope this sentenceing wiltl straighten out his Drug issues and He will open up to me about why he got addicted to drugs I so want to know but was afradid to ask him while he was strung out on drugs.:)
I find it best to not associate with people who use marijuana and have cut off everybody I know who does. Pot addicts are lazy, stupid, annoying, and irresponsible. They will always let you down. Whether they suffer from a “disease” or not is beside the point. They have no place in my life or yours or in a civilized society. I can think of no more unfortunate a situation than loving a marijuana addict whose lifestyle continually causes problems for the people actually stupid enough to care about him and who will eventually find themselves heartbroken come the inevitable day when he finally od’s and dies.
@jmallory - No your not you just got to hang in there and kepencouraging your friend to quit you might want to through an “intervention”. where you and any friends that you may have in common get together…and them this friend about how badly they are screwing up their lives…and you want want to bring them to a homeless shelter and ask them questions is :this where you want to live” because this is whwere drugs a re going to bring you?….and then bring them to a soup kitchen and ask them is this where you want to eat or the rest of your life…because is the only place your going to be able to eat if you stay ondrugs…and then introduce them to a few panhandlers around town because this is going to be their career and business colleagues if you stay on drugs…and if you are getting burnt out then you need to take a break and don’t get caught up in your friend’s shit because the will just bring down and you let them do that to you…because junkies can be real assholes sometimes. And y0u got to realize that it is their decision and you got to tell them that they got to make a decision between losing you as a friendship or their drugs and if they choose then drugs then they will use and all the others as friends…its a tough choice but its one they have to make…and of course if they quit then stay onbioard as a friend and keep encouraging them to stay clean. but ultimately their choice. Don’t let them bring you down because you are judged by the people you hang out with. Hope this advice was helpful and good luck. You might consider inviting him to church if your friend starts paying attention to you.Good luck.
Hrm, I dunno if I was ever an addict so to speak but I did have a drug problem at one time in my life. I came out on top fortunately, many never do.
You opened the post by saying there is no good way to help someone addicted to drugs. I love everyone regardless so sure I have loved those addicted to drugs. First you need to expand your worldview quite a bit. A giant reality check on your part would be a good way to start, You may just find out that your an addict also. Addictions run deep in our society and fall under 2 main categories, accepted and unaccepted. Our society for example accepts sugar addictions. This addiction is incredibly harmful, it damages relationships, stunts the growth of kids, raises health insurance costs, makes people miserable, is linked to many diseases, can reduce mobility, can result in obesity, and so on. All this damage and yet our society doesn’t care at all, yet they are quick to attack the unaccepted addictions. Smoking cigs for example. Everyone is quick to attack that because it’s known to cause problems. Sugar is known to cause problems but because a small amount is ok in a diet the majority accept and practice often it’s abuse. These are just a few examples but addictions often take other forms. Music for example. I’ve heard many say they can’t live without music. They must have music on, some even when they are sleeping. My guess is it’s because if the music stops they have to actually face themselves and the scary silence that demands answers. So as Christ said, first deal with the log in your own eye before you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye.
Drugs or addictions of any kind can be “cured” but for more powerful addictions more dramatic measures are often a necessity. Our society makes it difficult because the value of a person is often defined by the amount of money they make and the status symbols they own. I’ve seen incredibly gifted talented people cast by the wayside because what they bring to the table isn’t valued. A devalued person, particularly a talented one typically becomes depressed and apathetic. Why bother when the cards are stacked against you and what your good at isn’t valued? On the other end of the spectrum I’ve seen these same people placed in a setting where they had value again and it changed who they were seemingly overnight. Drug addicts as well as other addicts are a symptom of a larger problem. Just like fever is a symptom of the flu. If we address the fundamental issues that are destroying all of our society then we will see a shift and far less drug addicts. The fundamental issues are up to each individual. The real question here is are you willing to do the right thing or do you want to continue to blame all those around you for your problems? Don’t like that we use slave labor to create many of our goods? Do you still buy those goods? Don’t like that many here are in poor health. Do you continue to eat the same processed foods sold in nearly every store and restaurant? Unhappy with the fact that we are destroying our natural resources at an alarming rate? Are you making moves to obtain what you actually need vs excess? Are you making moves to live a more natural sustainable life? Are you building water catchments and finding ways to generate any electric you might need? Do you not like all the deaths, wrecks, and high insurance rates that drivers on cell phones have caused? Do you talk on your cell while you drive? Don’t like BP or other big oil companies due to the wars and spills? Do you still buy gas? Do you like violence, lying, stealing, cheating, and devaluing of human life? Do you watch nearly any tv show? Most promote and teach all these things. Yes we are in a changing world, which way do you want to change it? Do you support all the things you say your against? Most do, some directly, some indirectly. Fix your side of things and quit waiting for everyone else to do it first or do it for you. Blunt words but lets get real. A lot of people tend to think we are so much better than the drug addicts but are we really? I’m working on a solution to this and many other issues, are you doing the same or simply saying there isn’t any good ways to address it? Do you want people to feel sorry for you because you choose to love a drug addict? I’ve got some real solutions that i’m working on for addicts of every kind, Solutions that will treat the cause of the problem rather than the symptoms. Hope you find this comment eye opening. True love does what’s in the best interest of all all the time.
I’m a terrible friend and tend to distance myself from folks I can’t reach. Shit, that even goes for girls who refuse to leave their good-for-nothing-cheating-abusive boyfriends. Bloody Stockholm syndrome, but that’s another comment for another entry.
Yes.
I have been clean for 5 years now and it is all because of my husband, there are gooe ways to help addicts you love but they also have to want the help as well. Also it is tough, most people don’t stick by the addict when they have major struggles. There are good ways, you need to educate yourself on their illness, and unconditional love and support goes a long way. Demanding and making threats only makes the addict more stressed and it makes it harder to stay clean.
yup I still do, my brother has a drug problem and we deal with it every day.
what people need is more self-discipline..it takes an effort to maintain good health..it takes an effort to be moderate and not pig out..the word love can often be twisted and misunderstood..also this society is very infentile and blames others a lot, so to have a reason to remain addicted..
Some drugs are nasty addictive, and some people don’t care about the codependency. Many times people try to help by addressing the symptoms and not the underlying problem. I think it’s possible, but it is brutal and takes love.
My sisters have literally stolen money from me for their pill addictions…I personally find it really difficult to trust/love them before all this happened. Just this week I found out that $250 are missing from my safe..Also my mother before she passed away had a similar addcition to pills. It’s sad to see how this runs in our family. I do what I can to support them…but when you steal from me, it is difficult to look you in the eyes the same way :-/
Yes. More than once. And more than once I would question why I even still loved them, since many a time they certainly did not appear to CARE that I loved them, or even return any of the love I felt… It’s really tough being in relationships like that, where you – the sober one – can see just what’s going on, and meanwhile they are living inside a chemical-ravaged brain and existence that just warps and twists everything so that they don’t even realize how they act or what they say or do… Really difficult
Comments (59)
One of my best friends is a drug addict… and he is in complete denial. I never give up on trying to help him, but maybe I’m in complete denial too.
Yes more than one
Yes.
It is true that you really can’t do much to help a drug addict.
Not in a romantic way.
It is indeed very difficult. Loving anyone with a mental illness can be very trying.
This sounds a bit harsh (ok, really harsh) but you can’t help a person who doesn’t want help. No matter how much it hurts to watch someone self-destruct, unless they want to stop, there’s nothing you can do to stop them. It’s heartbreaking.
Help me help you. That’s what I tell my patients.
Only as a mentor… not in my house — NO WAY!
I have been both the drug addict and a family member of two other drug addicts which helps understand it, no there really is nothing you can do. Maybe stop enabling if that’s happening then they might reach their bottom quicker but that’s about it. It sucks
That would be so difficult but (probably to my own detriment in some way too) I am extremely anti-drugs so there is a slim possibility of me even being around or meeting someone who is addicted to drugs or if I did as soon as I find out that they are involved with drugs I distance myself. Call it judgemental or whatever, I’m ok with it. I do however have my brother suffering from mental illness and that is so hard because I just don’t get it. You want to help and you want to see them help themselves! But there is nothing that you can really do and it’s hard. I imagine it would be like that to love a drug addict.
My boyfriend is a gambling addict. His medical diagnosis was pathological gambling. It’s caused so much stress in our relationship. He’s finally agreed to go to GA though so there’s hope. But I’m at the end of my rope cause a bookie is harassing him non-stop because of the money he owes. I’m afraid my bf will end up killing himself because of his debt…
I’ve been in love with one and still am. For life. Myself.
Yes, several. Some have died, some are on their way there. It’s a heartbreaking thing to have the memories of who they were before the disease took control. It’s horrible to watch them slowly deteriorate, and it’s worse knowing nothing you can think of doing could ever be enough to “fix” them.
A few alcoholics, yes. Only one of them changed, and that was because he wanted to. Which is really what it comes down to.
Well – actually – you CAN get some very good advice on how to best assist an addicted person in breaking the addiction. But few people want to spend the time to investigate what that is – and they further screw up the addict.
Al Anon for example is a good resource.
I will have to suggest that when a person is addicted to anything he is repudiating the Holy Spirit. Repudiating the Holy Spirit is the only way for a Christian to not stay a Christian. Some addicts are so far gone that they have made something else as their G-d.
Yes, multiple people.
I don’t even know any drug addicts…
yes father, mother, brother. It’s sad.
My Biological fathers a drug addict =(
Yes, I have a nephew in jail right now, his 3rd time there because of meth.
No but someone loved me until I got clean and they still love me now years later.
I love myself so he quit for II
@rocketopossum -
Love can conquer all.
@rocketopossum – Yes I’m. to do good ting not be a good man .for me to look I’m 4 and c 4 ting just do it the way is the way?
Excellent blog
@isitreal_no – ditto on the drugs, sorry about your brother.
@Ellelarien – haha, isn’t that what your mother said? I do agree however.
I’ve never done drugs and until after high school I had never drank. We do so in moderation. I think it would be difficult to do this, love someone addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Speaking as a drug addict , I try not to hurt those I love , but I know it do . As far as my usage , I’m not going to stop until I’m ready , and with my situation who knows when that will be…..
Yes. And you’re right. It’s not only difficult, but it tears you apart as well.
my dad belonged to the CIA; catholic, Irish and alcoholic.
my best friend’s half-sister makes $80 every hour on the laptop. She has been fired from work for 5 months but last month her income was $18363 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Go to this web site and read more http://www.rev24.com
Yes, and I still love him even though we are not together.
I could not let his addiction become my prison.
Several members.
Not drugs or alcohol, no. Just food addicts eating themselves to death (myself included).
Just a temporary flame who enjoyed her share of marijuana. I think hers was a psychological addiction rather than physical.
I did love an addict, I thought well he’s not really that bad, and then I thought I could help him, then I watched him unravel and then I had to say goodbye to a coffin in which his body lied.
I fell out of love with someone after he sunk into the depths of addiction… It’s impossible for me to love someone who doesn’t care anything about the family they built and would rather spend all their time and money getting high. They say the opposite of love is indifference, but my feelings for him are just disgust.
It doesn’t appear that way to me. Yeah tons of caffeine addicts. And these irrational, emotional fucks who LOVE other people, which is just an unhealthy dysfunctional brain pattern too.
In all seriousness though, I don’t happen to know anyone who does hard drugs.
Yes. My husband. It sucks to go through his struggles and have a family.
@Shadowrunner81 - They’re all psychological.
毒品这东西一沾 你就想他 吧他送去戒毒所吧
有钱戏毒 你们能戏的起
yes my Friend Tim We first meet back in 2010 He was a Person who wont let you in on His Life but He did introduce me to His Family that was cool ok well we been in contact for awhile and we hang out 24/7 but over the past few years I only got to see Him High and the last time I saw Him He dont a line of something in front of me I was like wow but it never phased me what it was because I have seen alot of people doing drugs but Me i dont do them.And I spent the night with him beacause we were close then one of his friends was like Tim was comeing off of being high and hasent sleep for 3 nights and that is why he wasent up at 12 when i was so i kindly waited until he got up from his nap but he got up for like 5 minutes looked at me wierd and I left him on the couch.Well this was October 10 2011 and I heard the following morning when I was at home he got arested and well its now 2013 and He is in Prison for alot of crap and I hope this sentenceing wiltl straighten out his Drug issues and He will open up to me about why he got addicted to drugs I so want to know but was afradid to ask him while he was strung out on drugs.:)
I find it best to not associate with people who use marijuana and have cut off everybody I know who does. Pot addicts are lazy, stupid, annoying, and irresponsible. They will always let you down. Whether they suffer from a “disease” or not is beside the point. They have no place in my life or yours or in a civilized society. I can think of no more unfortunate a situation than loving a marijuana addict whose lifestyle continually causes problems for the people actually stupid enough to care about him and who will eventually find themselves heartbroken come the inevitable day when he finally od’s and dies.
@jmallory - No your not you just got to hang in there and kepencouraging your friend to quit you might want to through an “intervention”. where you and any friends that you may have in common get together…and them this friend about how badly they are screwing up their lives…and you want want to bring them to a homeless shelter and ask them questions is :this where you want to live” because this is whwere drugs a re going to bring you?….and then bring them to a soup kitchen and ask them is this where you want to eat or the rest of your life…because is the only place your going to be able to eat if you stay ondrugs…and then introduce them to a few panhandlers around town because this is going to be their career and business colleagues if you stay on drugs…and if you are getting burnt out then you need to take a break and don’t get caught up in your friend’s shit because the will just bring down and you let them do that to you…because junkies can be real assholes sometimes. And y0u got to realize that it is their decision and you got to tell them that they got to make a decision between losing you as a friendship or their drugs and if they choose then drugs then they will use and all the others as friends…its a tough choice but its one they have to make…and of course if they quit then stay onbioard as a friend and keep encouraging them to stay clean. but ultimately their choice. Don’t let them bring you down because you are judged by the people you hang out with. Hope this advice was helpful and good luck. You might consider inviting him to church if your friend starts paying attention to you.Good luck.
Hrm, I dunno if I was ever an addict so to speak but I did have a drug problem at one time in my life. I came out on top fortunately, many never do.
You opened the post by saying there is no good way to help someone addicted to drugs. I love everyone regardless so sure I have loved those addicted to drugs. First you need to expand your worldview quite a bit. A giant reality check on your part would be a good way to start, You may just find out that your an addict also. Addictions run deep in our society and fall under 2 main categories, accepted and unaccepted. Our society for example accepts sugar addictions. This addiction is incredibly harmful, it damages relationships, stunts the growth of kids, raises health insurance costs, makes people miserable, is linked to many diseases, can reduce mobility, can result in obesity, and so on. All this damage and yet our society doesn’t care at all, yet they are quick to attack the unaccepted addictions. Smoking cigs for example. Everyone is quick to attack that because it’s known to cause problems. Sugar is known to cause problems but because a small amount is ok in a diet the majority accept and practice often it’s abuse. These are just a few examples but addictions often take other forms. Music for example. I’ve heard many say they can’t live without music. They must have music on, some even when they are sleeping. My guess is it’s because if the music stops they have to actually face themselves and the scary silence that demands answers. So as Christ said, first deal with the log in your own eye before you can see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye.
Drugs or addictions of any kind can be “cured” but for more powerful addictions more dramatic measures are often a necessity. Our society makes it difficult because the value of a person is often defined by the amount of money they make and the status symbols they own. I’ve seen incredibly gifted talented people cast by the wayside because what they bring to the table isn’t valued. A devalued person, particularly a talented one typically becomes depressed and apathetic. Why bother when the cards are stacked against you and what your good at isn’t valued? On the other end of the spectrum I’ve seen these same people placed in a setting where they had value again and it changed who they were seemingly overnight. Drug addicts as well as other addicts are a symptom of a larger problem. Just like fever is a symptom of the flu. If we address the fundamental issues that are destroying all of our society then we will see a shift and far less drug addicts. The fundamental issues are up to each individual. The real question here is are you willing to do the right thing or do you want to continue to blame all those around you for your problems? Don’t like that we use slave labor to create many of our goods? Do you still buy those goods? Don’t like that many here are in poor health. Do you continue to eat the same processed foods sold in nearly every store and restaurant? Unhappy with the fact that we are destroying our natural resources at an alarming rate? Are you making moves to obtain what you actually need vs excess? Are you making moves to live a more natural sustainable life? Are you building water catchments and finding ways to generate any electric you might need? Do you not like all the deaths, wrecks, and high insurance rates that drivers on cell phones have caused? Do you talk on your cell while you drive? Don’t like BP or other big oil companies due to the wars and spills? Do you still buy gas? Do you like violence, lying, stealing, cheating, and devaluing of human life? Do you watch nearly any tv show? Most promote and teach all these things. Yes we are in a changing world, which way do you want to change it? Do you support all the things you say your against? Most do, some directly, some indirectly. Fix your side of things and quit waiting for everyone else to do it first or do it for you. Blunt words but lets get real. A lot of people tend to think we are so much better than the drug addicts but are we really? I’m working on a solution to this and many other issues, are you doing the same or simply saying there isn’t any good ways to address it? Do you want people to feel sorry for you because you choose to love a drug addict? I’ve got some real solutions that i’m working on for addicts of every kind, Solutions that will treat the cause of the problem rather than the symptoms. Hope you find this comment eye opening. True love does what’s in the best interest of all all the time.
I’m a terrible friend and tend to distance myself from folks I can’t reach. Shit, that even goes for girls who refuse to leave their good-for-nothing-cheating-abusive boyfriends. Bloody Stockholm syndrome, but that’s another comment for another entry.
Yes.
I have been clean for 5 years now and it is all because of my husband, there are gooe ways to help addicts you love but they also have to want the help as well. Also it is tough, most people don’t stick by the addict when they have major struggles. There are good ways, you need to educate yourself on their illness, and unconditional love and support goes a long way. Demanding and making threats only makes the addict more stressed and it makes it harder to stay clean.
yup I still do, my brother has a drug problem and we deal with it every day.
what people need is more self-discipline..it takes an effort to maintain good health..it takes an effort to be moderate and not pig out..the word love can often be twisted and misunderstood..also this society is very infentile and blames others a lot, so to have a reason to remain addicted..
Some drugs are nasty addictive, and some people don’t care about the codependency. Many times people try to help by addressing the symptoms and not the underlying problem. I think it’s possible, but it is brutal and takes love.
My sisters have literally stolen money from me for their pill addictions…I personally find it really difficult to trust/love them before all this happened. Just this week I found out that $250 are missing from my safe..Also my mother before she passed away had a similar addcition to pills. It’s sad to see how this runs in our family. I do what I can to support them…but when you steal from me, it is difficult to look you in the eyes the same way :-/
Yes.
More than once.
And more than once I would question why I even still loved them, since many a time they certainly did not appear to CARE that I loved them, or even return any of the love I felt…
It’s really tough being in relationships like that, where you – the sober one – can see just what’s going on, and meanwhile they are living inside a chemical-ravaged brain and existence that just warps and twists everything so that they don’t even realize how they act or what they say or do…
Really difficult