June 26, 2013
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Advice to the Opposite Sex
Here is your moment. You can speak to the opposite sex and give them your best advice.
What one piece of advice do you want to give to the opposite sex?
Here is your moment. You can speak to the opposite sex and give them your best advice.
Comments (73)
I’ll always cherish my mother’s premarital advice to me.
“Don’t leave Vicks on the nightstand.”
Don’t lie.
I’ve got a few:
Lying does not solve anything. If you lie because you think she’s going to flip out, think about how much angrier she’ll be when she found out you lied. Also! If you have to lie to her anyway, maybe you shouldn’t be with someone you can’t be honest with -and/or- you need to figure out why you have to lie instead of manning up
One piece of advice? No. Neither sex could function on just one. The most universal advice I can give both sexes is:
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RELAX. It’s not really that big of deal. If it is, and you’re fighting
all the time, stop. Love doesn’t hurt. Move on with your lives because
both of you deserve to be happy and you can be when you accept that bad
things happen, it’s not your fault, and you CAN move on.
- If a
member of the opposite sex wants to see you and be with you, they WILL.
Seriously, anyone playing games with you is NOT SERIOUS ABOUT YOU. When
it’s right and each of you care about each other- you’ll want to be
together all the time. In public. Meeting each others friends and
family. You’ll be proud of your relationship. Don’t settle for anything
less because life is short.
- LOVE DOESN’T HURT. Pain and abuse comes
in all forms- physical, mental and emotional. Don’t stand for any of
it. If you are unhappy, if you don’t feel loved or valued in your
relationship, SOMETHING IS WRONG. Stop ignoring it and realize you were
meant to be happy, valued and loved.
I’d tell guys to stop being so fucking shallow.
Never assume anything. Get to know a round of personalities before you discern what is disrespectful. There is such a thing as a silver tongue, which masters telling you anything and making you believe any given thing is comforting. There is such a thing as a forked tongue, which masters telling believable lies with words that fit the actual truth; or the Hegelian Dialect. Players and playa’s tend to do this naturally. Getting in trouble only leads to them honing these talents. Love and respect for women guard a man from intentionally seducing any before he’s sure of a healthy relationship pending.
Be willing to love unconditionally while still trying to better your spouse through encouragement, constructive criticism with gentleness, etc. Basically: be patient with one another.
quit being stupid. this includes but is not limited to lying, blame shifting, being shallow and phony, driving less than 10 miles per hour above the speed limit and pretty much any idiotic thing a person could do.
just in case there is a follow up post about giving advise to your own sex, my answer remains the same.
Be cool. Don’t be a dick.
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
Vote any republican out of State or Federal office who has voted to put him or herself between you and your doctor and family or who believes you should not be paid as much as a man for doing the same work or who believes you should not be in the workplace in the first place because by doing so “You’re destroying the fabric of America”. See Lou Dobbs and the “men” of Fox news on the latter one. And don’t forget the republicans who say if you got pregnant it wasn’t rape.
Apart from that, eat right and exercise but I probably don’t have to tell you that.
@shandilion - good one, whore.
stop spending all my goddamn money, you stupid cunt.
I would ask any woman whether the man or woman in her life makes her laugh. If they don’t, they aren’t right for you.
@Shadowrunner81 - Why not look at the intentions first? Some people may have concerns they don’t know how to bring up; or resolve without involving the person who doesn’t want to hear it. It doesn’t automatically indicate who doesn’t respect whom. it’s a common cause of depression or other emotional problems; often resulting in an inability to be particularly entertaining.
gentlemen, love and pay attention to your women…because if you don’t…someone else will.
@KikeDeflateNathan - you sound sweet. Can I have some money?
Communication is key.
That being said, we will never get the hint.
He can’t read your mind. Talk.
Please see every woman as an individual. There is no other single piece of advice because every woman is different.
Women – Don’t let your moustache grow longer than 2 days. That’s a no-no!
@KikeDeflateNathan - I’m assuming she’s stealing it. Otherwise it’s your choice.
Does this have to be about sexual intercourse?
1.) The clitoris is not hard to find. I’m sure you know where it is. Watch porn, you’ll figure it out.
2.) If you want oral give it in kind. Don’t ask for anything that you won’t do yourself.
3.) Be honest.
4.) The little things count.
5.) Don’t try to change her.
6.) Don’t call her fat.
7.) Never use implied violence (such as punching a hole in the wall)
8.) Respect what she doesn’t want sexually. Just because you want anal, a threesome or whatever doesn’t mean she has to agree to it.
9.) If you cheat you’re just a pussy. If you want to leave her do it right. That means don’t text to break up.
10.) Be a gentlemen, even when you don’t feel like it.
11.) Don’t check out or flirt with other women.
Here is one for relationships in general (regardless of sex)
1.) Communication is key. That usually makes all the difference.
2.) Be honest. If you can’t be honest with your partner it’s time to be goodbye.
3.) Trust. Without trust there is no -real- love. If the person you’re with isn’t trustworthy say goodbye.
4.) Figure out what is important to them and help them celebrate it.
5.) Love should be stronger than religion.
6.) Money is not a reason to be in or leave a relationship.
7.) Violence is never the answer. Neither sex has the right to physically attack someone.
8.) A relationship is an equal partnership.
9.) If you want to cheat then break it off before you do. If you cheat you disrespect your lover, your fling and yourself.
@Typically_Misunderstood - Have any advice for not “appearing” to be disrespectful? People misinterpret manners associated with one mindset assuming they’re associated with quite another. I can’t jump into conversations with people, because I know that every reaction has multiple disparate meanings. Others don’t seem to be aware because they often speak as though I assume or am thinking something that didn’t even cross my mind. Yet when I try to straighten out misunderstandings, people get even more confused (apparently thinking they are not, but actually believe they know “exactly” what’s up) and I get kicked out of whatever place the misunderstanding occurs in. Often times this is the result of people who think they are experts at sneakily getting at the truth of a matter. They get part of it, but don’t understand that they are punishing someone for merely attempting to salvage their dignity in a situation they don’t know how they got into nor how to interpret how others are acting or speaking about them; due to being aware of lack of complete knowledge of others views. People hold on too tightly to presumed conclusions. It’s bad for the health of community as a whole.
Hot girls are a dime a dozen. Focus on other things. Your looks will fade so you better make damn sure you have put time into developing your personality.
stop listening to pop music. don’t believe everything you read in romance novels. don’t believe everything you see in the romance movies and dramas. reality can be more fun that popular mythology concerning courtship and marriage if you keep your feet on the ground. if your head is in the clouds, be wary of the pollution that can kill your relationships.
do not follow your heart unless your brain says it is okay. if your brain says it is not okay, ask for a second opinion from friends and family. it is a better thing to break your own heart if it keeps you out of a toxic relationship.
Stop making my decisions for me.
Stop focusing so much on the gender binary.
Learn to do splits at a young age, when you can master them. You’ll thank me later.
Next time I send you to the supermarket for some lube, don’t go to the automobile shelves.
You’re not all that, stop using faux confidence to cover up your insecurities.
Men, you are awesome. Don’t forget that. Surround yourselves with people who respect you and appreciate all that you do.
My advice would be to one specific lady and I’d tell her I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing so my baddddd. In my head, I imagine that boy meets world type of love, but it comes out more like family matters. But I would fight anyone to protect your honor, even myself.
to FEMALES: you have a thing called a WOMB, take care of it, love it, respect it, cherish it, surround it with affection…don’t turn it into a chamber of death, don’t try to shut it down or incapacitate it. Remember: you are never truly NAKED in the bed without the presence of your womb. Can’t grasp that truth? Learn how it really works: http://www.woomb.org and you would be surprised at how often you are naturally in-fertile every month. It makes life and love better to know the truth.
like judge Joe Brown says,”man up” we don’t want to be your mommy.
Get a career….girls want to eat.
@TrueBritt - Nicely written, Britt.
Hugs
frank
@Texasjillcarmel - lol But I miss my mommie.
My advice. Husbands want to be admired and respected by their wives.
communicate.
Put the other person and their needs ahead of self. When both are seeking to please the other, how can you go wrong? Better yet… put God at the center of your relationship then you are always walking towards the same goal. When you are walking towards one another you are on a collision course.
When we cry, touching and holding is comforting. Unless you have a boner and are groping…
smh
Just because I don’t want to be by your side every second of every day, doesn’t mean I’m going to cheat on you.
Learn to read interest/disinterest in women through body language and subtle cues. Turning away, stepping away, one word answers, putting in headphones, or turning back to a book/phone are all signs that she doesn’t want to talk to you, but doesn’t want to be rude or confrontational by assuming you’re hitting on her and turning you down explicitly. Nothing (!) makes her owe you her time, attention, or a friendly disposition. She may be tired, hungry, sad, or angry and her subtle rejection may have nothing to do with you…or she might think you’re an ugly brute. Regardless, it is her choice if she wants to interact with you. It’s ok to approach with an innocuous lead-in (“I loved that book you’re reading.” “That’s a really cool phone case.” “Wow, is this line long today.” NOT “You’re gorgeous and I’d do you right here.”) but if she doesn’t engage, leave her the hell alone.
Bonus: If you’re walking down the street (especially at night or if the street is deserted) behind a woman and are gaining on her, say something! Just hearing “Hi, there, just passing by” in a friendly voice makes us go from on edge and wary to practically feeling safe in that situation! Or if you aren’t in a hurry, fall back or cross the street. Especially if you’re a bigger man.
Get your lazy ass off the couch. She only used about 10% of the dishes she washes, only wore 15% of the laundry she washes, only dropped 0% of the coffee/mustard/beer on the floor she mops up, only eats about 5% of the food she cooks, only spends about 5% of the income she brings in on herself, only leaves about -18% of the lights on in empty rooms, only procreated about 50% of the babies she stays up all night caring for. Sitting around on your ass in your tighty whities on the couch playing video games while she works herself into an early grave to support you does not constitute a contribution. You seriously are not that good looking or that good in bed, in fact, she’s probably never had an orgasm with you, so get over yourself. Living with you is not a public service.
try not to use her insecurities against her in an argument to make her feel small. once you’ve done that, pretty much any compliment you give her will hold no weight, because she’ll know what you really think of her.
Don’t lie..goes for either sex
If you want to attract a woman who’s strong, well-adjusted, and smart, don’t act like a dick to look cool, only crazy bitches dig that.
LOL
Be honest.
Most people can’t “calm down” on command. If it’s an argument you need to have then have it. If it’s a little thing get some distance until you get your head back. Also don’t talk bad about their family, unless you’re totally sure they are ok with it, and even then…
If you feel like I did something wrong, or something I did is bothering you, tell me. I want to know, and I can’t read your mind.
Be direct. Men have a hard time picking up on subtle signs and clues.
@swimminglibra - Haha, only crazy bitches, huh? So being a dick DOES work for 95% of women. This information is helpful.
@amateurprose - I should be more specific, “psycho-crazy”
@jasonwl - That sounds like a serious communication issue. That would be the first thing to fix. Communication is EVERYTHING. I can’t tell you how every single person will react to what you say and how you act, sorry. Some people are overly sensitive while others or not. Your job as someone’s lover is know them. Once you know them you can figure out what would be disrespectful or not. Other than that, respect is pretty self-explanatory.
@amateurprose - Only applies if you plan on abusing 95% of your lovers.
@blonde_apocalypse - You gave me a woody.
I don’t really have advice for the opposite sex but I do for the same sex. Stop being cunts. There is no such thing as prince charming or a fairy tail relationship. Any and all relationships will be work and just because the guys doesn’t want to pay for something or go out one night doesn’t make him a asshole or mean he doesn’t love you, he just needs some down time. LOWER YOUR FUCKING EXPECTATIONS!!
One more: try to fight fair
I think you (females) are great. Keep up the good work!
To not overestimate a (friendly) interaction with a girl. Chances are she’s not into you.
Thank you for all the times you lifted heavy things we can lift ourselves, for being funnier than girls most of the time, for giving your coats, for defending us when someone wants to kill us but ignoring us when we’ve created petty fights, and for being yet another teacher of how to respect and be respected, often at your expense.
Stop allowing your decision-making process to be a democracy.
In a relationship the only opinions that matter are yours and that of your significant other.
Your feelings are no more valid just because the majority of people agree with you.
If every vote matters, the majority is as fallible as any individual.
If you wouldn’t vote for a presidential candidate because most other people are, why would you base what you do in your relationship on what other people think?
All I can say to both sides is this.- If you are lucky enough to find a person that you care about, and who cares about you, well cherish and embrace them. Girls put down your cell phones when you’re together, leave your friends at home, and focus all on him. Guys remember to tell your girl how beautiful she is to you,and don’t keep your feeling to yourself. And both of you know one thing for sure. The grass is not always greener on the other side!
@tendollar4ways - glad you’re enjoying your xanga experience.
Imagine knowing that you are a great match for someone, except (s)he seems certain of things untrue about you, so disagrees and avoids you as if you’re a threat. What do you do?
Don’t show too much interest too soon. I cannot stress this enough. There’s nothing wrong with inviting them out or trying to talk to them occassionally, but if you’re doing that ALL THE TIME when you’ve just met her, you’ll freak her out, especially if you’re going after a more introverted person. If she’s not responding to your advances, laying it on thicker is most likely not going to make her want you more. Back off a bit and give her time to respond. It’s not about mind games, it’s about letting the other person have their space while they decide if they like you or not. You don’t want your romantic interest wondering if she’ll need a restraining order if you get together and then break up.
@EccentricSiren - @Typically_Misunderstood - We often
choke
in tense situations. Sian Beilock summarizes in this video. In most cases when I meet a girl I like, I have much shorter time than people suspect to make an impression, and I’m up against guys who seem to be expert womanizers who always get on their good side; and distort their view of men to reject all that would be good for them so to be always easy (with a little gaming). I choke, because the stakes are so high and I’m compressed so much I cannot possibly express what needs expressed in the time frame available. I don’t want to come on too fast, but I don’t want to lose to a jerk or seem completely disinterested either.
women: suck his dick. and when you suck his dick, put your back into it. or he’ll have some divine brown prostitute suck it. also: men are simple. it’s you who fuck them up. knock that shit off.
men: stay the way you are.
@pseudoecho - Troll ftw.
@jasonwl - Well, I’m guessing that what you mean by “expert womanizers” you mean man-whores..aka “playas” the sort of guys that always leave with a chick on their arm when they leave the club. There is NOTHING you can do about them, so don’t worry about it. There is NOTHING you can do for the girls who fall for them either. I guess it’s one of those things women learn through experience. If you do lose to a jerk the chick was clearly too naive or not interested in a mature relationship. I think your major problem is that you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to snag a chick. I was like that once and guys can smell the desperation from a mile away. The second that I stopped looking for it the guy I’m with dropped into my lap and we’ve been together for almost three years. Don’t come on too strong just be a supportive buddy, she’ll make it clear if she’s interested. As far as being a buddy I cannot stress this enough: Make sure you want to be their friend for them and not only because you’re interested in them. If you stop being interested in the friendship just because they get with someone else that says a lot. (It’s happened to me before, clearly)