Tuesday, 25 November 2008
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Married People Flirting on The Internet
When I think of Internet flirting, I don't think of two people offering to shack up some place.
I think more in terms of people exchanging compliments about each other's appearance. I think the reality is that people tend to express compliments on the Internet a little more freely than they do in real life.
For example, I am happy with the way I look. But I will admit that no one has ever told me I was hot in real life. (Maybe my wife during sex but that is another story).
But I never get that from a woman in real life. The attractive woman from shipping has never said, "I'd hit it" when talking to me.
People are more expressive on the Internet. We are more likely to vent our feelings. But lets face it, we are more likely to express our thoughts on what a person looks like. It may not come in the expressions like "You are hot" or "I'd hit it" but may come in the more mild compliment on a person's looks such at their eyes or their hair.
But this is a fuzzy line when it comes to the combination of the Internet, marriage and flirting.
With the expressive nature of the Internet, do you think a certain amount of flirting even by married people is expected or even tolerated?
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Comments (86)
i think it depends on the person. some people are naturally flirty. others are looking for attention. you have to know yourself as well as the person you are with. the problem is, sometimes flirting is taken too far....
A bit just for fun is no bad thing.
I think I express the same amount of compliments offline and online.
i hate to say yes but i'm going to
it depends on the intentions
Technically I don't think it's considered flirting.
You just say things more straightforward or joke a lot, knowing that these words won't lead to anything.
I think as long as a married person is not signing up for a social networking site with the intention of flirting, then it's fine.
i think that we do that because on the internet we aren't afraid of rejection. if you're talking to somone on the internet that you think is hot, and they say 'ewww get lost you freak!' then you can always go out and find someone else on the internet that thinks you're hot.
Being married, and happily, lol, I just try to keep things in check and remember not to say anything or let the men talk to me out of the way in that if my husband were to read it, he would really frown on it, lol. I have had to tell them when they were crossing the line, but most take it well and just back off, :)
I think we need to be careful about it....actually it shouldn't be done, but we do it anyway. In fact, you raise a good point Dan, I think I need to stop acting that way, thanks for pointing it out!
Take care Dan
it depends...
i just try to avoid it at all costs, wouldn't want my husband to think I'd rather "flirt" online than with him.
I think it's wrong if you are married. If my spouse read flirty responses from me to others it could be hurtful. I wouldn't do it.
lol I just realized there's something wrong with the pic.
i think its ok to a point.
I think it's cheating. Anything you wouldn't do in front of your spouse is probably something you wouldn't do in front of them for a reason. The reason being it's probably wrong given the confines of your relationship
I think it is unacceptable which pretty much explains why I am still single til this day. :)
i agree, you should not really flirt with one but your partner, its still hurtful even when its just on the Internet.
I do it all the time, my wife thinks it's great. She does it too. What's the big deal? And if the person is close enough to meet...well, then it get's more interesting.
@striemmy - But what if you do do it in front of your spouse? We are both flirts, though I am worse than her.
I've never intentionally flirted on the internet. I've given sincere compliments and I've teased; I suppose those things could be taken as flirting. I really have no problem with my husband complimenting a woman's eyes or smile or gently teasing her - in the real world or on the internet - but married people flirting with others will probably lead to trouble at some point.
Which brings me to your last post... Really, Dan, only people who think they're hot are going to put themselves in the position of having their ego stroked or their delusions shattered by a total stranger. I really wanted to say that last night, but as an old married woman with a body that long ago outgrew both ego and delusions of hotness, I ran and hid rather than commenting.
@bosefius - hence my last line. if you have defined your relationship to include it then of course it isn't wrong. keep havin fun =)
Of course there's always the chance that whoever you're talking to is actually not what they say they are and are not really a nice girl but in fact a crazy person seeking someone to help them in a financial way get back to their Mothership by buying lots of titanium for their spaceship. Then things get awkward...
@striemmy - Ah, good point. I missed the meaning completely. I think I need a nap, I apologize
It depends...
But playing with fire, you're bound to get burned...
I think the real issue is people insecurities, cuz if a wife get nervous if her man look at a woman on the street she'll go mad if he's having a nice convo on the web with another lady, same for guys.
No. Actually, I think flirting should be kept to a minimum even on the internet. It might be taken seriously. But I'm boring, I guess. :P
There's a difference between compliments and "I'd hit that." Blah, I'd rather nobody said that about me, it doesn't sound like a compliment at all.