July 26, 2007
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The Call
I was just reading an article called “Sure-fire Ways to Get a Second Date.”
In the article, the author wrote the following advice:
“Text her or call her the very next day. Either text her a simple message that says “Had a great time last night…Looking forward to the next time.” Or, call her and leave a message and tell her the same thing over the phone.” Here is the link: Link
Recently, I read a post where a woman said it made a man look desperate if he called the next day.
Does a man look desperate if he calls the next day?
Comments (99)
No, that’s nice.
No. It beats making her wait and wonder!
I, personally, dont think so.
instead of listening to the advice of others, people need to think for themselves. if the date went well and a guy wants to call the next day then do it. give up the stupid games.
The text is a sweet idea, or even a short email. If he calls and leaves the message, cool. But what if she answers the phone and he is left to make akward chit-chat? That is where he might blow it. Hehe.
No.
Psh, no. It would be disappointing and almost insulting if they didn’t.
Jeeeeez, I agree with pseudoecho. Just do what you want to do; I don’t think anyone will judge you.
It used to be considered good etiquette to call the next day and thank the person for a lovely time. Am I showing my age?
Nope.
Means he enjoyed the date enough to call back the next day- that’s awesome.
I think its a very nice gesture.
I told you–I called you, but you didn’t pick up!
No I don’t really think so. I don’t understand these two day or three day rules of calling someone.
nah, not the next day. Maybe on the same day.
I’ve never had to play that whole waiting game. I fall in love with people I already know.
nope.
A man would look desperate if he called me at all. : )
no it doesnt
no.
I don’t mind a text or IM the next day, or maybe a quick phone call. However, when a guy calls the next day “just to chat” he totally sends me running.
It’s nice to acknowledge that he had a good time, but anything more than that seems too soon.
NOPE!! Cuz it’s flattery to hear from him instead of wondering if he likes the date(you)..
nope.
it’s refreshing actually.
i’d so rather hear from him the next day. stupid boys and their not calling.
cough.
i’m not bitter.
No
Not of the girl likes him back.
Yes, haha.
No! I love it when a guy calls the next day, especially when the date went well. I would appreciate the next day call then the three day waiting period most guys subscribe to.
i think a cute little text is good
just not too obsessive, like pushy.
only if it’s obvious there’s no connection…
otherwise, yes, call or text me so i know you had as good of a time as i did!!
no need to wait
how about three times? is three times too many?
I emailed my current beau the day after the first date and he said it was a good move. I think it depends on how well the date went.
No, it makes him appear sweet and thoughtful, and it gives the impression that he had a good time and was still having nice thoughts about it the next day. What woman wouldn’t be happy to know that?
Bah. Dating is dumb. And so are the games people play with each other. =P
No. It’s good. Gooooood.
I always thought that the several day waiting period was really daft. If you like the girl/guy, you’ll call the next day. That, at least, shows appreciation but not desparation. If a girl thought that desperation was the motivation behind me calling the day after the date, then she’s too immature for me as she hasn’t grown out into a confident person yet who’s able to make decisions for herself rather than relying on someone else to school her in how things should be done.
if she’s not that into him, he appears desperate whatever he does!
I think it really depends on whether or not you like the guy already. If you’re not particularlly interested, then yes, it looks a little desparate. But if you like him, then of course you want to hear from him.
Such stupid advice. If you had a good time, so did she, call right away, she wants to hear from you. If you did not have a good time, ether did she, why call at all?
Desperate? Heck no. It actually makes it look like he had a good time and might actually want to go out again.
The next day? No, I don’t think that’d be desperate at all. It’s aggravating when they wait a few days.
No. I would think that if he/she had a really nice time that both parties would want to connect with one another as soon as possible. Even if it was just to check in. My guess it would be a good time to tentatively pencil in the for the next date – lunch, an ice cream cone, a walk on the beach, whatever.
I normally like to call the day after to confirm the details for the second date ; )
That’s funny, on my last date, she took out her cell phone and deleted my number in front of me.
By the time I got home I was blocked on xanga and facebook.
I DID tell her I had a nice time as we parted ways though.
Maybe it’s time to start using prostitutes or go on that crystal meth suicide binge…
I prefer the natural look: I look desperate all the time.
The problem with us men asking women for dating advice is that the vast majority of them really don’t understand what they want in a guy. (The same goes for us guys knowing what we want in a woman, at least, those of us who are smart enough to want more than physicality.) Does calling her the day after make you seem like a “desperate loser”? Probably not, I mean, unless you’re calling to propose or something like that. Will she get a little mad if you wait a little while longer? Possibly.
The question is, which will make her want to go on the second date: making her think you’re sweet or making her a teensy bit (not a whole lot, but just a little) mad? The logical answer is obvious, but attraction doesn’t exactly work logically.
I think not.
Umm, aren’t guys desperate when they ask someone on a date in the first place? I mean if the first date went well and he wanted to ask her out again why the hell would he wait?
No.
I’d be a little miffed if a girl didn’t call me the next day.
No…
Um, be yourself and do what is right for you? I mean, when I was dating if he called me the next morning at 5:30am I’d be like “Whoa, creep-o-meter!” but the next evening is nice.
case sensitive.
No, that’s stupid.
no. its cute, as long as the messege isnt too intense
no. in fact, he should because he would be rude if he didnt at all.
No, and I bet that woman is the very type of woman to pitch a fit when he doesn’t call exactly when she wants b/c men are supposed to be psychic and read her mind.
If a guy calls the next day and I agree with him that the date went great, awesome. If he never calls again, whatever. There are too many other men out there.
I just happened to read the same article earlier… I guess it’s just a myth put forth by the playas to muscle in on our turf, like “money doesn’t buy you happiness” generated by the rich folk to pacify the less priveleged into complacency (j/lk)
If he calls 3 times the next day, yes. But texting something like that, or shooting an e-mail, actually takes alot of pressure of the woman. I think something short sweet and to the point is great. Then if he wants to wait a day or so more to call and set something up, thats fine.
No it doesn’t. It means he is interested in her and he is also polite and considerate. I can’t imagine a woman who didn’t want the guy to contact her the next day!
i dont think so.
but all this is making
it seem like dating is a
job. hahah how sad.
haha well i say if u want something u gota go an get it… so calling is like taking steps toward something….
No.
Now texting or calling her that very night might.
But it could depending on what the guy says or how the guy acts.
But if he says “Had a great time last night.. looking forward to the next time.” or whatever- that doesn’t seem desperate to me at all. It’s nice.
not at all!!!
i’d so rather hear from him the next day. stupid boys and their not calling.
cough.
i’m not bitter. -Kestryl
Hah, speaking of stupid boys & their not calling, I’ll just come right out & say I’m totally bitter.
Maybe, but arent they all desperate anyway.. lol
being a man myself – lets just be honest
Daniel (doubledb)
He appears interested.
Not if it’s done right. The simple “Had a great time last night…” is nice. It doesn’t sound desperate, but doesn’t cut you off entirely.
if he’s super sexy it wont make a diff
no. unless he calls first thing in the morning, and wants to make plans right then. that’s desperate. it’s all about common sense. there is no hard and fast rule of thumb.
I think the woman might look desperate if she called the man…him calling her after the date just shows that he did have a good time.
Depends on what he says during the conversation.
Yes, that would be great.
Calling is okay, persisting the idea about going out again isn’t.
nope he only looks desperate if the chick didn’t dig him.
when a guy i like calls the next day i squeal in delight.
if i didn’t, then i’m repulsed.
Just don’t hit the “send to all” button.
No, not desperate. Interested. That’s a good thing.
If it was me, I’d want the guy to call the next day..
But some people are different. -shrugs-
No. It shows he’s interested, he’s brave enough to pursue what he wants. I don’t need to wait around for a guy who’s not going to act.
No! One of the things I hated about dating was all of the stupid games and rules. If you really like her and can’t wait to see her, call her! I always hated when they waited a while to call…
No…if you’re interested why act like you’re not?
THREE DAY RULE! LoL.
It depends on how well you two get on during the first date.
No. Especially not if he’s genuine. If he’s insincere he probably wouldn’t call unless he’s some sort of creep.
what happens if you dont get their voicemail? cus it says to call and leave a message? do you just say it super fast and then hang up? hehe that’d b fun
I don’t think that qualifies as desperate, unless the date went horribly and he won’t stop calling or texting… however, even if he sends a cute text, if I wasn’t interested, I wasn’t interested, and there is no “guarentee” for a second date.
GASP i spelled guarantee wrong. SHAME on me.
calling the next day is not so good, texting however is ok
no, it is annoying to NOT be called right away.
No. That’s fine.
no, it makes him seem interested.
depends on the guy.
I personally wouldn’t go on even a first date with a guy I thought was desperate.
Yay for avoiding the problem altogether.
it all depends on how the first date went….. if you feel it went really good then yes go a head send a text or call… but if u even have the slightest doubt about the date – wait 2 days least
After a regular date: nahh.
After sex: YES!
Nope.
No. It would be nice actually!
not stupid at all. it’s called communicating.
I’m a guy, but I don’t think so.
No. I think it’s nice to get a call the next day.
There are very few women who find that unnatractive, but if you’re not man enough to swallow your pride and take a chance than that tells me something right off the bat.
That’s stupid if the first date went bad or if the first date wasn’t a date.
Some women love it, others will think it’s creepy and clingy. Sorry, no sure-fire way to tell. Also, if she doesn’t like you, calling on the 2nd or 5th day won’t guarantee you a date.
No, he should contact you the next day.
But he shouldn’t bombard you with texts or phone calls or messages online about how all he can think about it you because then he seems obsessive and unattractive. Whether it’s true or not.