February 28, 2009
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Chris Brown and Rihanna Back Together Again
It is always nice when we can see that true love can overcome a good punch in the face.
It is being reported that Chris Brown and Rihanna are spending time together on an Island Retreat. Here is the link: Link
Do you think true love can overcome abuse?
Comments (155)
Nope
Big surprise, codependency syndrome.
I still say no one would care if he wasn’t black.
It’s not that I don’t think it can, it’s just it seldom seems to only happen once. Most people can’t change their ways that quickly or easily. Sometimes you just have to walk away despite loving someone.
Maybeeeeeee.
if they’re back together, then that means Rhianna must have done something to provoke Chris Brown to hit her.
If he just assaulted her for no reason, they wouldn’t be back together.
WTF.
All those women who don’t leave their abusive husbands – not out of fear but out of “oh, he’ll change, he promised me”…
Heh, wake the fuck up you morons.
Only if both are able to resolve things by getting help through a lot of counselling. Society gives people the wrong message—how marriage/relationships should be something longterm–through death do us part, but sometimes people have to realize that you can and should walk away if it means preserving your own safety and sanity.
I think it can, but it shouldn’t.
ugh, so dumb
It can but shouldn’t have to.
Thats a rare case. But I believe true love > abuse.
I hope this Chris Brown has learn his lesson !
She has a skewed view of love.
I KNEW THEY WILL BE BACK TOGETHER! IT WAS JUST A PUBLICITY HOAX TO GET MORE POPULARITY.
@Dylan_Disast3r - FYI a lot of people stay in relationships when they are abused, regardless of whether it is their fault. Low self-esteem can make a person perceive the situation to be their fault. But at the same time as you hint at it–conflict often involves two people. If it’s a matter of personal safety, though, I do think it’s wise to be safer than sorry.
Yes, it can survive.
Rihanna’s a big girl. She can decide for herself.
“it is always nice when we can see that true love can overcome a good punch in the face.”
HA yes, isn’t it though?
Once an abuser, always an abuser.
I think the whole thing was a publicity stunt.
Abuse is not true love.
I feel bad for her.
Maybe on the part of the abuser, if he/she takes steps to really change his/her ways.
I smell battered wife.
No.
@RaVnR - What? Where did that come from?
Maybe, but I would be scared to wonder if it would happen again?
@la_faerie_joyeuse - life, media, and years of law school.
I’m not sure why anyone cares even the slightest bit about either of them.
But I’m gonna have to agree with @saintvi on this one.
nah, if it was true love, there wouldn’t have been abuse in the first place.
Considering Rhianna is a celebrity, this does no good for other people who endure domestic abuse.
Rhianna leaving Chris may have been inspiration for other people. Especially ones who never tell other people of their problems and do not seek help.
Honestly, lets face it, it happens everywhere in the world. This is only a big story because they’re stars. Heaps of other women go back to their men/pretend it never happened. (not that I support that, get out while you still can!) But seriously, big deal
I don’t understand how true love and abuse can even co-exist.
@RaVnR - Maybe if Rihanna was white, I would see your point.
But since when has anyone cared about black-on-black violence?
Abuse means true love was never present to begin with.
Isn’t that what love is all about..torturing the one you love by being there 24/7 day in…day out…never dying and metaphorically kicking your mate in the balls for the rest of his days on earth? Or is it just me???
@la_faerie_joyeuse - it doesn’t matter who the victim is as much as who the perpetrator is. The media loves to make the “big bad black guy” argument. 85-90% of the time in the Media it’s a big bad Black guy; but not IRL and that’s unjust.
NOPE! IN MY OPINION, NEVER!
No.
And “true love” my ass. Chris Brown can bite a curb for all I care.
I’m sick of hearing about their problems.
I think it can, but it shouldn’t.
She’s such a smart girl. It’s like they were made for each other.
Also, he should be a boxer. She’d make a great punching bag for practice.
Celebrities always get back together just for the attention. I highly doubt they’ll be together long.
Hell no.
God she’s stupid ._.
no…celeberity couples are about the money…
@la_faerie_joyeuse - Race is irrelevant, sorry? There are tons of other examples of celebs abusing each other regardless of their race. The media just portrays it as more violent because he’s black, and that’s the only real racial implication and its unjust. People care about b.o.b.v because this means that the perpetrator is black, regardless of the victim.
Its sad that you seem to think that way as well.
True love does not abuse, in any shape, form, or fashion.@BomCamChuoi - @saintvi - Absolutely right!
Almost never. There are some times, once in a blue moon, when it can. I’ve heard of it. But usually, hell no.
I know that I’d truly love to thump Chris Brown upside the head for a minute or two.
AHHHHH. STUPID.
That’s all I have to say about Rihanna at this point. She shouldn’t have taken his sorry ass back for all the money in the world.
No one deserves to be hit. Oddly enough though, we often treat total strangers better than we treat the ones we truely love. But punching? Really, come on. Why would anyone give it a second chance? I know the reasons. I just don’t understand them.
Having worked with domestic violence victims for years I know there are a variety of reasons people stay – none of them good. I have seen people from all walks of life, all races, and all economic backgrounds stay in relationships when they should have bailed. Odds are very low that it would never happen again. “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me”
I think this decision is pretty stupid. Honestly, I do.
He hit a woman… and that certain woman is even CONSIDERING to take him back if she hasn’t already? Are you kidding me? I would have lost all of my respect/love/whatever for him. If my boyfriend did that to me, I wouldn’t even think twice about getting back together with him. I don’t care if he apologizes a million times and buys me a private jet (random thought…), if he hit me, he hit me. There’s that 50% chance that he may do it if he loses his cool again.
He is not a man if he lays his dirty hands on a woman.
She’s a dumbass!
no.
this is really upsetting, because rihanna is a “role model” since she’s a celebrity.
great fucking job.
@you_were_the_song_all_along - Maybe.
No way, that’s just plain stupid of her!
Sometimes.
@logicalemu - Have some sympathy, you moron.
True love does not abuse.
No, she’s a dumb whore who should be punched in the face on a daily basis just for being stupid. I’m just sayin’…
@listen_to_The_Pixies - ooh, very original to turn my words against me in an attempt to be witty. I like it.
I have little sympathy for people who refuse to leave their abusive partners because they love them. There’s something to be said for taking initiative for your own well being and having been in a somewhat similar situation before I can say with confidence that zebras rarely change their stripes.
@logicalemu - Having also been in a more-than-somewhat-similar situation before I can only say that I have no idea how you can not have sympathy for another human being in that position.
Sometimes so-called “love” is actually that person afraid to say that the REAL reason they’re staying is due to fear for one’s welfare, fear for one’s family (and children’s) welfare, lack of a place to escape TO, lack of a support system, and a myriad of other reasons.
Surely having been in one of these situations you understand how confused things get, how the illogical becomes logical, how warped the mind gets when trying to hash through the extreme stress of the circumstances. They’re not idiots, they’re victims of an unfortunate mindfuck and deserve, at VERY least, to not be looked down upon as it seems you’re doing.
omg i can’t believe she’s giving him another chance.
I’ll give it a month.
I think she hit him first
Lame.
so chris just hit her for no reason? i dunno.
I think she’s quite stupid for getting back together with him, if it’s true.
@listen_to_The_Pixies - Which is why in my original comment I made the distinction between people staying out of fear and out of love. Christ, this could have been avoided if you’d read my original comment thoroughly rather than zeroing on my lack of sympathy. I’m a bitch, you’re a bleeding heart, the world will continue to go round.
@listen_to_The_Pixies - well said. I was so angered by the ignorant reactions to this post I had to respond on my xanga. I wish people would stop attacking the victims already.
@logicalemu - Oh, trust me, I read it thoroughly. Maybe you didn’t read MY most recent response thoroughly, because I detailed how you are wrong in assuming that the two reasons (staying out of love and staying out of fear) don’t, more often than not, overlap – and that there IS no distinction of which you speak
And anyway, yeah, I unabashedly zeroed in on your lack of sympathy not because it was an easy target but because I find it truely apalling, regardless of your logic, that a woman would ever call another woman a “moron” and suggest that it’s easy to “wake the fuck up” in this sort of situation.
In reality this is an issue we all should be dealing with together since it’s an exclusively feminine plight, and I would even go so far as to say that yours and other women’s judgemental mindsets towards victims contibutes to the problem being perpetuated.
Its Whitney and Bobby v2.0.
Knowing the shit that some women give their men on a daily basis, it’s a wonder that this type of thing happens as seldom as it does. I give men, in general, a great deal of credit for not knocking the blocks off of more of the whining, complaining, and yes, bitchy women that they often have to put up with. In our current abuse hysterical climate, a simple ‘pop to the chops’ is seen as something akin to murder. Perhaps the two of them see it for what it actually was … a forgivable mistake that was, also perhaps, amply provoked.
No. It’s not love.
Is it true love if you can sock that same person in the face? Jesus.
@RaVnR - just like ho nobody cared when Nick Carter beat up Paris Hilton???? (I hate that I remember that) honestly dude….
yes i think so cause if u dont forgive someone u love how is god going to forgive u? everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves another chance but if he does is again she should leave him
Well, they say love hurts like a punch in the face. I guess she would know.
It is possible to break abusive habits but in every case I’ve heard of where it has happened, the other person had to be willing to walk away, call the cops, or whatever other steps might be required as a consequence if it EVER happened again with a zero-tolerance policy. Sometimes, love must be TOUGH to survive. Allowing abuse the way some do is not love. It’s fear.
I am more appalled by the reponses to this post than Rihanna’s decision. *pulls hair out*
That’s so rediculous I just want to laugh. If you love someone, you clearly don’t do that. I’m assuming everyone saw that picture of Rihanna, it’s absolutely horrible. Love doesn’t hurt, sorry babe.
…more to the point can his career?
And even more to the point; does any care anyway.
God. I’m being a cynical one tonight. Excuse me.
this is a terrible example to all future couples.
well, we’ll see what really happened in some E true hollywood story like “Under the Umbrella: the true story of Rihanna and Chris Brown”
@misswonderj - Don’t make implications about what I believe based on two sentences spoken to someone else about another topic.
I don’t even believe in race.
@la_faerie_joyeuse - LOL You don’t believe in race? How ridiculous. Whether you “believe” in race or not is irrelevant because it exists on more than just a social stand point; a biological one.
people get in fights every now and then
but abuse once done, will keep coming
@listen_to_The_Pixies -
“In reality this is an issue we all should be dealing with together since it’s an exclusively feminine plight”
…because women never ever abuse their husbands. Women are always the victims in a domestic abuse situation. /eyeroll
Also, it’s not that I don’t have sympathy for women who are victims of abuse…but when they keep going back to their husbands under the delusion that he’ll change, I lose sympathy. I find it hard to feel sorry for someone (other than myself) willingly committing slow suicide. People don’t change. Not at their core. Commence with calling me a jaded bitch in 5-4-3-2-1-GO!
@la_faerie_joyeuse - How does one believe or not believe in race? Do you mean you don’t believe in race as a proper way to identify of a group of people, or do you believe that it simply doesn’t exist in the first place? Or something else? Any of those are hard cases to make but I’m curious as to how you would argue it.
@logicalemu - Any particular reason you keep self-identifying as a bitch? You seem proud of it which I find curious. I will not provide you the satisfaction of reinforcing that.
Women abuse their husbands, but [generally] lacking both masculine tendencies of control and anger as well as physical prowess, it is more commonly through verbal and/or mental methods, which I won’t downplay but am declining to discuss here because my intent is to focus only on physical abuse.
I agree that people don’t change, especially abusers, and find it extremely frustrating to watch women go back to abusive partners. However I don’t see why it’s so difficult to just heave a huge sigh and continue to attempt to support them (or even just not FAULT them, for Chrissakes) despite your own personal feelings about it. You don’t have to feel sorry for them, but it’s horrid to indicate (however vaguely) that they’re asking for it.
Fthat.
Oy, dumb girl.
In answer to your question:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered
I suppose in one sense, she could embody the “patient” part, but thinking more logically: “True love” cannot be present with abuse, and as far as overcoming past abuse I believe that the abuser must (a) be seriously screwed up to have been raised 20-something years without realizing that abusing his mate in that way is horrific and (b) needs to do some pretty extensive soul-searching to overcome being a flat-out monster.
A month isn’t extensive.
Does true love even include abuse?
Love is blind OR lovers are blind ??
only if it truly is that deep love connection
True love would never have abused in the first place.
This is disgusting. True love means that the abuse NEVER occurs in the first place. She’ll be abused again and she won’t understand why. People are just stupid.
If she went back to him, she deserved to be punched.
perhaps she went back to him out of guilt that his career was beginning to tank because of this?
i don’t know, nor do i care. if it IS true that she is back with him, she just taught millions of pre-teen and teenage girls that it’s OK for your boyfriend to use your face as a punching bag at will.
way to go.
True love and abuse don’t happen together. I doubt abuse can be overcome in a relationship without dumping the abuser. And of course, some people would not want to do that, because they enjoy the excitement of abuse.
@misswonderj - @listen_to_The_Pixies -
What I mean applies to many different levels.
On a social-cultural level, I don’t believe that people should classify other by race. This goes from the negative racism and stereotypes all the way to merely identifying someone by their “race.” Identifying someone by physical characteristics is fine, but I have never met someone whose skin was white or black. We’re all either darker or lighter shades of tan or pink. I recognize that they do, but I view it as an inaccurate assumption (society makes a lot of these), and I make an effort not to do it myself.
On a biological level, it’s obvious that there are differences among different people. However, those differences are not clearly delineated by “race.” If everyone’s ancestors came from one of 3-5 small regions on the earth and had lived there until about 200-300 years ago, and since there had been no mixing, I would 100% understand the biological distinction. HOWEVER, not only has there been significant “mixing” among people whose ancestry stemmed from different parts of the world, but moreover, there were never distinct regions in which all the people in that region shared ANY characteristic, that was not shared with people in another such region. Racial “differences” are not a collection of categories, but a broad spectrum. It’s a continuous, not a discrete, variable. So unless we’re going to go around assigning everyone a racial “score” from 1-100 (including decimals), then the classifications are entirely inappropriate from a biological standpoint.
if it’s just once, it may be a fluke. if it repeats, it’s just not going to get better without lots of therapy and anger management on the part of the hitter, and the relationship probably (and shouldn’t) survive repeated assaults.
Your question doesn’t even work… if it’s true love, there will never be abuse to overcome. If someone truly loves you, they would NEVER hit you like that.
She should see that she’s worth more. No woman should go through abuse. It’s a shame they are back together. I would have to think to overcome the awkward moments of being alone with him. But, hey, as she has sung once before … ‘Live your life.’ I am not aware of how strong their relationship was, maybe she really loves him. I just wouldn’t, if it were me.
@la_faerie_joyeuse - From a biological standpoint they are appropriate actually. The reason being that these traits exist when people are “purely” categorized to one race. However this does not happen very often anymore, and its not supposed to happen. Biological traits between races clash within themselves: pure people are not genetically strongest like hybrid mixes are. In fact they are the weakest and most susceptible to mutation that isn’t supposed to happen in the human species (like having blond hair and blue eyes at the same time).
It matters a great deal actually when studying environmental strengths and weaknesses, genetic mutations, and resistance to certain diseases and such. The list goes on practically forever.
In short, the concept of race exists and is valid.
Possibly but highly unlikely. If the person is willing to get help perhaps but odds are pretty good that if it happens once it’ll happen again.
In a way I knew that she would take him back, have we not learned anything from Ike and Tina?! I think it’s good that they are back together but she should be careful. Lord knows she is going to be the next Tina if she’s not careful. But I think she should have left him for good. She should watch more Lifetime movies!
~Alexx
eveyones different what more do I have to say?
Not until the guy repents of his abusiveness. Women have an amazing (and illogical) capacity to forgive their husband’s abusiveness. Once you’ve handled a few domestic disturbance cases, that fact becomes “striking”.
Any M.P. or civilian cop will be able to tell you about cases where a man gets drunk, goes nuts, beats on his wife and/or kids, gets apprehended and the wife makes out a statement. Several days later, she’s at his side as he tries to talk his way out of it… often by depicting you as the bad guy! This; the same woman who had thanked you in tears for possibly saving the life of her and her children. I can attest to this from personal experience.
And what’s worse, you know that, if the guy gets away with it, he will be unrepentant in his heart and fully capable of doing it again. In fact, the great likelihood is that he will… perhaps with truly tragic consequences the next time.
Women, God bless them, can have this overdeveloped maternal instinct which, at times, overrules their good sense. The only way to stop abusiveness is to reach out to the core of what causes it and get the man to confront that demon… and then to banish it. Until that happens, all the love in the world will not cure it. The love will be all one-sided. A man capable of abusing women and children- including his very own!- is a dangerous man. She and he both must acknowledge this before any meaningful healing can occur.
wow. that’s…fuck.
A person might still love their abuser, but that doesn’t mean they should be with them. Sorry, love isn’t everything. I agree: once an abuser, always an abuser.
Someone should punch some sense into her.
TRUE love shouldn’t HAVE to overcome abuse!
TRUE love wouldn’t even INVOLVE abuse.
Island retreatment my ass
He’s gunna kill a bitch
more or less
@youaintjam - I think he did punch some sense into her
@listen_to_The_Pixies - If they are doing nothing to stop it they are effectively asking for it. If you don’t stop someone bullying/abusing you then you are telling them that it is okay…if you are saying it is okay then they have no reason to stop.
Also I am not necessarily proud of the bitch factor, simply aware that I come across as a bitch to most people when I say what I’m thinking. I’m sick of people pointing it out as if it will hurt me or be a big epiphany, so to avoid that, I bring it up myself.
It may or may not. But what I believe in is:
Done it once, what’s stopping you from doing it again?
I think if it is a one time and one time thing only, then yes.
but the chances of it being just a one time thing are slim, and if its more than a one time thing it is an abusive relationship, and the answer is no!!
Absolutely not.
LOVE is NOT violence. EVER.
full of sh1t. Chris is probably trying to get his reputation back.
NOTHING!!!!!!!!!! CAN OVERCOME ABUSE, ON LESS DONT HAVE A SELF RESPECT OR STUPIDITY
I think abuse is a part of true love.
@STEVENPILL - WHAT??????????????Not until the guy repents of his abusiveness MY GOSHHHHHH ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I JUST CANT BELIVED SOME OF THE COMMENTS, THEY SHOULD BE ABUSERS!!!!!!!!!!!!…….OR JOCKERS
Well, masochism is kind of sexy…
No
she’s stupid. *shakes head*
they both messed up in this relationship.
i heard she cheated on him and then ended up giving him herpes, which is why he abused her.
if i’m right about that, then you can’t just blame chris brown for this whole thing. i’m not saying rihanna deserved abuse, but i’m just saying that she has some apologizing to do too.
i don’t understand why you didn’t also ask whether or not true love can overcome cheating and then giving your significant other STDs.
just a thought.
Here is the problem in any abusive relationship that tries to patch things up:
Even if the abuser has truly ‘changed’ and ‘promises never to do it again’, they are always going to remember what they did. The abused is also always going to remember. Even if the abuser never touches the abused again, they will always feel guilty, the abused will always have their ‘trump’ card, and there will always be that cloud hanging over the relationship.
Once you’ve brought physical abuse into the relationship, you’ve fucked up. There’s no salvaging left to be done.
@Dylan_Disast3r - that seems pretty reasonable. i agree. also being the hopeless romantic that i’am, i always think love can overcome anything.
the way you wrote this entry made me laugh. lol
Honestly, I think it can. However, I know that if a man ever hit me it would be a very long time for me to be able to trust him with me being around him.
@autumnskin1 - I’m as serious as can be. When men abuse women and children, it’s because of a personality flaw that overcomes their normal instinct to be protective. Sometimes, it can be the result of some transitory stress. Other times, it can be deep-rooted. Sometimes both. But until a man confronts those violent urges, understands the perversity of them and acknowledges them to himself and others, he remains a danger. Denial of these things, like with substance abuse, only leads to self-rationalization and greater abusiveness down the line. Men can come back from this… as, among others, Johnny Cash demonstrated. But the longer it persists, the less the likelihood that it will ever be dispelled.
Codependency reigns supreme again!
We’re talking about sick man here, and what ever is the situation is not aceptable thats it…………..no one that is normal will kill or hurt his love ones as simple as that
I belive honestly that animals give us EXAMPLE
A lioness which is considered a “savage beast” is not capable of hurting their dens how a “rational and normal men” will do it is just not aceptable. but unforgivable that a woman acept to overcome such a thing and because of that so many do it over and over again if she is lucky not to be kill………….i have no words for that …………she is thinking whit the vagina. no self repect definitly
Good opportunity for all to explore abuse; but are we willing? Is she really pregnant? disgusting
Hmm. Not true love but women who are afraid to be alone and women who believe “he will change someday” can overcome abuse.
the abuse will only get worse. this isn’t true love.
it’s a manipulative situation on both parties.. and they just can’t make their escape
its possible
Mm its possible for the relationship to work out, if their both willing to try especially the abuser : But it would be really hard to trust them again after having been abused.
Only in super rare instances
I honestly think the bruises and stuff were just to make them on headlines!
No, how much is he paying her?
no way!
I don’t think love and abuse belong in the same sentence.
No.
There is no excuse for abuse!
Ugh. Classic pattern of abuse. She deserves so much better than that jerk.
wow
would anybody care if they werent famous ?
I have to say if someone abuses you they don’t truly love you. I don’t care your age, if you are passioniate people or it’s never happened before.
Chris Brown should have done Rhianna a favor and had nothing to do with her for the rest of his life.
I could never look at someone the same way again if he hit me.
Who knows.
Real question be, why is everyone so caught up with Rihanna getting beat by Chris Brown, when thousands of women across the world are victims of abuse every day?
Nooooooo….it is ok for your man to keep you in line but to puch you like a punching bag,hell nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!
…if they’re away together on some island in a compound-like mansion, as it was described, he can beat the sh*t outta her again & no one would know.
just great. many eprops to diddy.
but hey, on the up-side once he’s got her almost senseless, she can happily answer “yes” to your question (if she can still talk that is).
sad day.
nooooooooooooooooo!
lol, I think people can learn and do better. Imagine the stink if her the ole kersmack again?
Hopefully it all works out.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Rihanna and Chris Brown were married, and have been for months already
nope.
No & when she gets her ass beat again nobody better feel bad for the dumbass!