October 30, 2009
-
Sharing Your Emotions on Xanga
I was thinking today that some people are more transparent on the Internet than they are with their friends. Then I saw this post that partially hit on the same issue: Link
People will say in their blogs that they feel they can be more open with people on xanga than they can be with their real life friends (If you respond that these are real life friends, you are addicted to the Internet).
It only makes sense that we can share things on the Internet that we would never share with two eyes looking at us. It allows us a certain freedom. For example, a person might be more likely to express love by saying “I <3 Jo Jo” when in real life they wouldn’t tell their friend they love them.
Are you more open with your feelings on xanga than you are in real life?
Comments (126)
like /eHug?
Now that I’ve actually read it: of course Dan! It’s because of the anonimity factor.
are you trying to organize some group xanga hug like a hippy?
depends who i am talking to or about
yes.
nuuuupe.
Definitely. I have some issues in that area, sadly.
Depends on the people, some of each? And yes I am addicted to the internet =) and xanga
very much so. way more transparent. all my opinions and feelings come out.
i don’t have feelings in real life.
Yes, it’s like I can tell people who I’ve never met how I feel. When it comes to real life… I freeze up.
anonymity does great things.
I am. It sounds wrong…
I’m about the same; I’m never very emotional anyway.
I tend to be more hyper online though. The first time I IMed one real-life friend he asked me if I was sedated whenever he saw me.
Did you just timestamp this 2 minutes after you posted it?
Yes, sometimes. Not always. I’m a pretty open book, either way.
I <3 Dan
definitely.
@xclevermealsx - you basically said what I was going to say
In one sense, yes…but I also hate showing weakness anywhere in my life, so for the most part the real me is bottled up and stuffed deep inside then drowned in alcohol
Yeah.
I only post things on xanga that my loved ones or friends at work may read, I try not to rant too much. If I was completely anonymous like I used to be it wouldn’t matter, so I would be more open. I do give a lot more e hugs than I do in real life though, e hugs to you friend, good post.
I have often wondered about this about other people.
For me, blogging and such is a way to get my anger, hurt, or even good emotions out. It’s my equivalent to a journal.
Um. It depends on the day?
A little. But I’m a very lovey-dovey person in real life, too.
and i’m like a man in many respects when it comes to expressing my feelings–i just don’t. mostly, i don’t really want to know what my feelings are. i need to work on that.
Hmmm… I have to say yes. But I don’t go around saying I <3 *insert name here*. I guess that even in cyberspace, I don’t have the guts to declare my fondness for a crush. XD
@TheFloater - :)
i am when it comes to my political opinions. for example, but not my personal felings. not really. i don’t share my sex life. i don’t share my fights with the mister (ok, once i did but i was young and stupid). I do like to talk about how funny and wonderful my daughter is, once in a while. but that’s not the nitty-gritty you’re talking about, i don’t think.
i have met a few people in person whom i’d met online. and i can say that if they heard i have died, they will make an effort to make it to my funeral (and vice-versa)l. but i don’t have delusions about most online friends really caring if i dropped off the face of the earth. that’s just the way it is.
Ohhh yeah. This is a total secret.
No, I am equally transparent in real life.
Nope. But I have always been accused of being honest to a fault, so being open with my emotions and thoughts is just part of who I am. Love me or hate me, it *will* be *me* that you love or hate. I would rather be hated for who I really am than loved for who I really am not.
You’re wrong … again!
Oh, and PS, I love you, Dan! ((wink!))
I <3 Jo Jo!
Oh yeah. Only because I need to vent and no one in the real world listens or bothers to ask. At least I have a form of emotional release when I need it.
- Kunoichi
Not really..I mean I say what I feel, but things are still hidden unless I do a protected post or somethign..sometimes I open up more but most times it is only with certain people. It just depends.
@QueenOfOreos - And btw I am an addict and I don’t care if that is a bad thing or not.
yeah. unless you’re one of my good friends.
Nope. I save that for emails. I don’t even talk much with my fellow Xangans these days.
Ehmm… not so much…
yeah I am pretty open here on xanga than I am in real life…in real life, I tend not to share my real feelings.
1. Yes.
JoJo.
2. These are real life friends. Well, some of them anyway.
3. I
Well I would never say “I <3 JoJo” Simply because “<3″ translates to “heart” and would never say “I heart JoJo” out loud. I would however, say “I love JoJo.” Because, I do.
A brother is supposed to love his sister. (even if they’re not blood related.)
=)
Which of course that was almost off topic, but as I’ve stated before, I just don’t care.
YES!
@seedsower - Everybody <3 you Beth
not really because people in my real life also read my blogs. dammit.
Heck yes. My closest friends are on xanga. I trust them more than people here in my own life.
I’m stealing your picture! It’s brilliant!!!
yes
maybe just a bit more open on here
saying love you – on here is less mushy*
saying stuff in real life can be hard
or sometimes i just lose my train of thoughts
where as typing it out writing it out, you can always edit and revise it or delete stuff
Looks like I going against the grain here, but I am more open in real life than I am on Xanga. But I do less than three JoJo.
I’m more open with my feelings in general on the internet. Especialy Xanga. Even my negatice and dark side. This is the only place i ca express (those) thoughts. At least that is how i feel.
For me, the GF gets everything, my blog gets just about everything, close friends get some stuff and regular friends get practically nothing personal.
In some regards, yes. If I have something to say, I’ll say it on my blog instead of finding someone to tell. Your friends can’t be bothered at 2am with every little thought that pops into your head
Rather, mine can’t, haha.
Most certainly. The only time I ever really talk about my true feelings in RL is when I’ve been drinking a bit too much, lol.
I guess it depends what you are loking for online. I think some of my most inner and dark secrets probably get written up and for me it’s a good thing because for me it’s therapy & it would otherwise drive my well meaning ‘real life’ friends around the bend.
Like in real life we probably all have different needs being met. some are more superficial then others.
I have had people completely interpret posts and blogs in a whole different way than when they wrote them. Personally I am not one of these people who does not care for my Xangan friends, and I would genuinely be sad if something happened to them.
Not really..It depends on the situation too!
no way, dood.
“People will say in their blogs that they feel they can be more open
with people on xanga than they can be with their real life friends (If
you respond that these are real life friends, you are addicted to the
Internet).”
I’m NOT addicted to the internet, I’m addicted to the PEOPLE I know from the internet. Also, its not that I don’t love the friends I hang out with. I am close with several people I’ve known online more than the friends I usually hang out with because I can pour out my feelings to them and they have done the same to me. The friends I usually hang out in real life are more interested in sex, beer and disco dancing and I am not satisfied with that.
Besides, I never refer to the people on the internet as FAKE people. They are my real friends; as real as the friends I hang out with. And there’s always a possibility that my friends online and I will meet someday.
a little.. sometimes..?
No, I’d say my blog (which is not for entertainment purposes nor do I wrote for an audience) is more like an extension of my ‘feelings’. It’s how I sort things out sometimes. Which is why I post protected most of the time. It would be a real shame if I were an open book here but not in real life with my husband.
That being said, a good deal of my subs are friends (yes, real friends) that have been writing with me for over a decade. Some of them were there for me through it all – breakups, prison, birth of my baby, etc. How can I not call some of them my real friends?
I appreciate various things on the ‘net, such as “savetheboobs”, because in real life I couldn’t look at so many different examples of boobs without being yelled at for not making eye contact. Thanks Dan, you are making a difference!
Not really
I tell my Xanga blog almost everything! And, only few people from my real life also my Xanga friends.
I tell my Xanga blog almost everything! And, only few people from my real life also my Xanga friends.
I’m basically the same. Although I hide my pain better when people have hurt my feelings a little better on xanga than in real life. But that’s cause you can’t see my face.
no. i am much nicer in real life.
haha.
No, not really.
What?
Yes, but only because i am better at writing my feelings and thoughts out…
No, I hug pretty much everyone in real life the same way I do here. I probably say I love you more in real life than on the net.
yes – and my best friends (real life friends) have had this conversation with me :-/
I’m pretty much the same online to my friends as I am to my friends generally
Dan, I have to take this cartoon and add it to my post. It fits perfectly.
Bwahahaha! Preposterous.
[for me, I mean, not in general]
No.
definitely. even just through AIM convos and stuff. some of the convos i have with my real-life friends on AIM are convos i probably wouldn’t have in person. there’s just that less-awkwardness, higher comfort level, and the advantage of being able to think before responding and there not being a weird silence in between. also, i feel like i can express myself better through writing, even just in AIM convos, than speaking. i word things better through writing than verbally.
Nope, less.
What are these feelings you speak of?
depends on which personality you’re speaking to … got one for my parents, one for my friends, one for work, one for the preacher, one for me (when i’m alone), and i’m discovering the one for xanga … all of them are the real me, they each just have a different time to shine … in some ways they’re different, in some ways they’re the same … a shrink would probably diagnose me as normal; but i think we’ve all got multiple personalities in one way or another … so to answer your question: it depends … = ]
Probably.
I <3 Dan.
yes i am
Depends upon the issue. Because I often blog politics that automatically presets a position one way or another…
I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m more open, but I am more blunt and straightforward with people.
Yes, I find it easier to talk about certain things on here, things i don’t really want to ‘speak’ about to my friends/family etc.
@RaVnR - bullshit
@erinLOU02 - It’s true. I am an incredibly trusting and open person. I recognize that this may work to my detriment, but it’s who I am. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Erin.
yeah
No…in both areas I am pretty open about my life. There is no other way to be.
Yes and no.
yep.
no, im just as much of an asshole in real life.
i’m equally as open in real life.
Yes, and I usually have that problem that the comic suggests.
Most definitely. =] A lot of my xanga friends I’m closer with than my IRL friends!
BEER IS THE ANSWER!!!
Yes, absolutely, I’m as open and honest on Xanga as I am to myself. I fucking post my soul.
I have a few friends that I can splurge my soul to, but only a few. On Xanga I can be just as annoying and obsessive as I want to be, sometimes with friends I have to cap it off a little.
From the potential anonimity to using one’s blogg as an emotional filtration device, it seems like it has become a precursor to “real life” communication. Whether someone graduates from Internet to Real Life or not, it does seem this has become a first step in identifying/clarifying/expressing one’s emotions.
Definitely. Xanga gives me a place to talk about things that I feel embarrassed or ashamed to tell my friends. Hence why only my closest friends get a link to my xanga, and even then I end up censoring a lot because I don’t want them to read it.
The reason the post about my first sexual experience is protected is because I dont want them reading it.The reason I don’t talk about my abortion on my page is because I don’t want them to see it. I’m still pretty open in real life when it comes to being blunt about sex and what I do. But as for personal experiences, I prefer to keep them right here.
There’s only one person in real life that I can tell my feelings to.
Everything of how I wish to express is finally able to be put here. It’s a relishing idea.
I am more open as a person. With my personality. I have less of a fear of rejection, I think, because in real life, you can see clearly if someone just doesn’t wanna be talking to you. Here, you can’t, and if they make it clear, you just move on.
But in terms of emotions, no, not really. I am pretty closed up with emotions, wherever I happen to be.
Good post!
LOL, that cartoon is SO me. I love proving I’m right. Ah, my flaws.
No, I’m actually more open with my girlfriend than anyone else, really.
As an individual, I can be pretty expressive. One of my university instructors told me that my eyes give away my emotions. If I really get into that zone of talking about how I feel, then I definitely can in real life and on the internet. I find though, that my thoughts are much more organized when writing them out because I can take the time to express what I want to say rather than in person where you’re face to face and you’re just trying to say it.
it would depend on the topic, really.
In a way. It’s easier to express words over Xanga or emails because I can carefully plan it out and make it sound nice (I don’t speak proper English in real life…most people don’t once you think about it). Though there comes a point where you can’t hide behind your computer screen forever, and when it becomes overly difficut to express your emotions in real life then you need to stop typing and embrace the situation.
internet. i dont have a lot of people in real life that will actually listen to me
yes, i feel like i can be completely honest, because no one knows who i am, i’m nameless and anonomous. no one crosses over from my real-life to my xanga life. and if anything goes wrong in xanga-land i can always delete my account… which is harder to do with your real life.
the line between how you espress yourself in person and behind a screen. (i think they both are very real. one just feels safer)i guess people sound much better on the net. you give them a face, a voice, and if you choose to- even a permanent place in your life.
*delete, edit, redo* ehh.. okay this sounds fine. *Submit*
In some situations I am.
Sometimes
in fact, that is exactly WHY i blog: so i can release my inner feelings without the repercussions in real life
yup sometimes.
i would say i’m pretty good at expressing myself in general. only, in the real world, there are few that deserve my time and effort.
My best friend is the only one that i really want to read my xanga. it’s easier to write feeling than to say them out loud. I’m a very open person but xanga just makes it that much easier to get everything out in the open. Also, it helps to organize your thoughts, because I know I’m not the most articulate person.
No. However, I believe many, especially on xanga, are less inhibited than they may be in person. I’ve notice that people say some pretty mean thing here that I doubt would be said if they had to look a person in the eye and say those things and then have to deal with the consequences. There are no consequences here, so people lose their inhibitions and let it fly–quite often demonstrating undue rudeness.
You caught me
Actually it’s the opposite for me. I’m very open in person with friends, but online I always assume an employer will one day find it.
Yes and no. I do share more of my opinion on certain issue that I would not in real life. But, there’s some personal things I would never post on the internet.
your father is a douchebag
This xanga account that I am replying with is my “personal” blog, the one that I use as a journal. Until recently, I kept my 3 friends/subscriptions, and they were the only individuals to view and interact with this blog and the goings-on with my life. Two of those three people were friends I met outside of the internet, and the third was a cousin of one of those people.
For me, it was and has been nice to avoid the publicity of Facebook, where everyone with an SMS setting knows what you’re thinking ALL THE TIME, yet still know sombody is reading what’s on your mind. It was a way to reach out to select friends and “vent,” regardless of whether or not they managed to read the entries.
For many people I know, typing comes easier and faster than writing with pen and paper, so it really can be an online journal. With this particular account, I tend to make more vague references, post lyrics to songs, and “curse” much more. In my “public” blog, I still use profanity, but may restrict it, and keep my writing more formal and broad-subjected. (If that’s a word???)
Anyway, those are my thoughts on this.
That’s exactly what I am doing with my blog. I use it to vent and say things that I otherwise wouldn’t say in public. Since I am the passive aggressive type, I talk about my problems in a very disrespectful way towards some people. lol I sometimes am shocked myself when I reread some of my stuff. Blogging sure is a nice way to be plain honest with oneself.
Hahaha, I know what it’s like to be that guy in the comic.
No.
I love the comic, BTW
And I think it’s sill for people to be more open online than in public. I am a big fan of “honesty is the best policy” even though I have lost a lot of friends that way. I am a very blunt person and always tell people what I think, even if they end up proving me wrong.