November 23, 2009
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Gay Kissing Vs. Lesbian Kissing
Adam Lambert has received some attention for his American Music Awards performance because he kissed a guy.
ABC received complaints from more than 1,500 people about the “sexually charged performance.”
Adam said he “wanted to break down a double standard that existed where female performers are often sexually provocative while men don’t do it that often.” Here is the link: Link
I do wonder if there would have been the same complaining if two women had kissed.
Do you think we respond differently to two men kissing than we do to two women kissing?
Comments (130)
Yes. Oh, double standards.
Most people do. I don’t really care one way or the other, but yeah. It’s more socially acceptable for women to kiss each other than for men to. But only if they’re attractive women, of course.
i dont know. either way. grotesque.
ohh yeah.
girls kissing, everyone is just like “oh, how hot.”
but guys, “eww fags”
it’s sad…
I definitely think there’s a huge difference and its seen in violence against gays and lesbians as well. The victims of hate crimes are also most often gay men.
disgusting!!!!
Oh, but it still makes it LOOK like it was a publicity stunt and not simply an act of affection. Because women who kiss at awards shows typically aren’t lesbians. That’s the real problem–it won’t break down any barriers as a result.
Total double standard.
grotesque indeed @Eternalimplosion -
Guys kissing guys is so fucking hot.
i don’t really want to see
anyone
kissing during a performance.
oops i mean ewww
Def. When I was in India, I noticed that men don’t have the same hangups there as they do here in the states about touching and being close to each other in a non-sexual way. Its very common to see friends holding hands or with their arms around each other.
I think they’re equally okay.
I’m straight personally, but I have no issues with others kissing whomever they want.
@ShimmerBodyCream - Heh. Not bad.
No, they are both gross! But thats the opinion of a Bible believing Christian who believes God’s word. So take itat that.
As a society? Yes.
But his male-on-male kissing was the least of any issues I had with his performance. It was just over the top with the all the crotch grabbing and the pseudo-fellatio. It was just too much.
Of course there’s a double standard (which there really shouldn’t be!). Women have kissed before at awards shows and no one complained.
@lauralois - Yes, it’s very sad!
Definitely. The double standard pisses me off so bad.
yeah there’s a double standard, but even so when madonna and britney spears kissed madonna parents were outraged. granted, i think lamberts whole performance was inappropriate but a guy kissing a guy shouldn’t be a big deal.
either one is not something I’m into.
and Adam Lambert…that’s another story altogether. we could go into the topic of the definition of ‘fag’, and how it usually doesn’t(and shouldn’t) apply to gay people…but with Lambert?…yea.
(anyone see that episode of South Park a few weeks back? LOL)
Faggots will be faggots.
I actually feel better seeing guys kissing. Can’t help but view lesbianism as network gimmicks.
i think thats half the reason why i dont get shit for being a lesbian. lesbians are accepted almost always before gay guys are. :/
Obviously, but I think women would complain if it was two women kissing, whereas men wouldn’t care so much.
Vise versa.
@iiinfinitesimal - true that.
Kissing with tongue twisted shall be done by couple with loving, but sometimes the similar sex couple working together! Based on my own study, they are born with carrying too much of opposite hormone that causes them like their same sex of person who we name them G or L.
I don’t like to see people making out. Gross. lol.
Yeah, my husband and I were talking about this the other day. No one seems to throw a hissy fit about lesbians…as long as the lesbians are young, thin, and hot. Because I’m pretty sure most guys for some reason think that they will be able to sleep with both girls, and a lot of girls either want to do the same or emulate those girls.
Pretty silly, if you ask me. I don’t care either way. Kissing is kissing.
unfortunately, yeah.
Um, I don’t know… Remember the Christina, Madonna, Britney scandal? That was all over the news for awhile…
um….I don’t want to see either.
i’d like to point out that there was a huge riot when madonna kiss both britney spears and christina aguilera at the vma’s.
Early state sodomy laws actually applied to only male/male sodomy and not female/female sodomy. I think this was more chauvinism and sexism than some nascent tolerance.
But the states eventually got it right: A broad discrimination against all homosexuals, regardless of sex.
I prefer the guyXguy version.
If they were two good-looking men, maybe there wouldn’t have been a backlash.
Need I even bring up Tatu and Madonna and Brittney?
If I remember correctly, people were shocked and complained a lot when Brittney Spears and Madonna kissed…
Some women can kiss each other and people still might not even consider them lesbians… sigh.
Sadly,yes.
Glambert got the reaction he wanted and that was to be expected from people watching ABC (it’s not like the VMA’s that were on cable, different demographic all together). I think it’s funny that he thought he needed to “go there” to make sure we knew he was gay ha!
I love Lambert, dude. ’nuff said.
It’s happened… Britney and Madonna. I don’t care personally.
It totally depends on the audience. Lots of people were just as pissed back in the day when Britney and Madonna kissed. Regardless, people need to loosen up and not be so uptight. Personally, I think Adam Lambert is pretty repulsive…but I give him props for trying to bridge the gap of what he thinks is a double standard. And of course with some people it’s a double standard, life is full of them.
Yes, we do.
Women kissing is hot!
I had a feeling that this was going to be about Adam’s performance. Honestly, I spent sometime trying to figure out if that was a guy or girl…I am an idiot. If this was his own concert, it’s passable but for an awards show…No. I was browsing pictures of his concert and him kissing a dude was the least of troubles. He has his hand on a woman’s crotch and another dancer simulating oral sex. A dude, by the way.
Yes, double standard.
yes.
i, on the other hand, don’t care who is kissing who.
Double standard? Really? I guess in a sense…but honestly, how many women think it’s hot for guys to kiss each other? And what is that number in comparison to men who think it’s hot for women to kiss each other?
I’ve rarely came across girls who thought it was a turn on for guys to kiss other guys. However, there aren’t too many guys I know who don’t think it’s a turn on to see girls kissing other girls. I don’t think it’s really a double standard, it’s just a reflection of the sexuality of the majority. A lot of women will say they don’t give a fuck who’s kissing who, so why should you label it a ‘double standard’ when most men are turned on by one thing, and not another?
Maybe it shouldn’t be oppressed simply because it isn’t as well liked, but from what I’m reading, Mr. Lambert isn’t exactly confining himself to just kissing another guy onstage to make his statements.
That is so disgusting
Yes, of course there’s a double standard. I am not really interested in watching anyone kiss during a performance and I’ve always thought it a cheap public display when they do. There’s just no oomph in poorly staged fake displays of affection.
Yes I think plenty of people do…but for me I don’t see why there should be…ehh it is kinda silly in my opinion.
double standards ftl.
adam would actually look kind of hot if he weren’t sucking the life out of the other guy. omnomnomnomnom
yes
As much as I utterly dislike Lambert, there is, indeed a double standard. I’d much rather see two hot girls kissing (obviously), but gay guys should be allowed the same.
Yep, definitely.
Most definitely.
Ok, am a lesbian and there is most defintly a double standard when it come to lesbians kissing vs. guys. Everytime two girls kiss someone out there is gonna say “hot” but if two guys kiss they are all like “gross. It’s so sad that there is really a double standard like this esp in the LGBT community. If your a lesbian or a guy that perfers guys, what’s the whole big deal with the double standard. We are all people with different taste. So right do u have to judge someone?
~Alexx
@MomGoneMadd - Whatever you say, you fat bitch.
its whatever to me. if madonna can kiss christina AND britney…then adam lambert can kiss whoever that guy is. i have no problem with it. not my life.
@MomGoneMadd - exactly. he likes attention and certainly got it. people are (obviously) going to be talking about him for quite some time!!
he’s right
Helloooooo Britney and Madonna – few people seemed disgusted or appalled by that.
I think there is definitely a huge double standard, and I think it’s stupid that people are so closed-minded. Lesbian kissing is generally regarded as something that is hot, whereas gay kissing is regarded as gross. Kiss whoever you want – it can be sexy, cute, or inappropriate regardless of whether it’s a kiss between two men, two women, or a man and a woman.
@pawnshop_heart - Indeed
@xInsomniac - -sigh-
-crosses name off of list- Another one.
i dunno bout this…..to me its weird if a girl kisses a girl or a guy kisses a guy
i think its nice that he did that.
power to the gay guys!
since girls kissing doesnt exactly cause a ruckus…
i mean
2 girls kissing bothers me cause they are usually in a drunken stupor.
2 guys..
not making a statement, but showing the world that they can kiss too
@maxxi2031 - makes me want to puke what about the kids…
@iiinfinitesimal - My sentiments exactly.
people were stuck on the Britney/Madonna kiss for EVER. i don’t see a problem with it at all. i was wondering why everyone was all “OMG HIS PERFORMANCE”, even after i saw it, and this answered that question. OH NO he kissed another guy!! the world is coming to an end!! ughh.
Hah, I just wrote a blog about this. There shouldn’t be any difference.
@Lost_In_Reverie - My sentiments exactly.
@quietmeteorshowers - Don’t say “most”. That’s a terrible assumption.
@bukeshow - ”what about the kids”? Kids are going to see it anyway. I didn’t see the performance, so I can’t really judge, but if you are just referring to the kiss, you need to come out of the dark ages.
@Xm0shXgaZmX - i never said most. i actually had to look back because i had made sure that i didnt. i dont make terrible assumptions. i just speak from what i see here in my area.
Britney Spears, Madonna, and Christina Aguilera all kissed on stage and that was thought to be “hot” so, I’m not sure that it’s fair to condemn one while drooling over the other. Of course, others have said that women who kiss at award shows aren’t “lesbian” but that really shouldn’t make a difference; if he hadn’t been “out” and kissed a guy does that make it more acceptable? Logic went out the window on that one.
@Xm0shXgaZmX - I don’t want two guys kissing in front of my children or to girls I want them to grow up with morals.
Um… doesn’t anyone remember the Madonna and Britney Spears incident? Yeah… I don’t think Lambert was old enough then… guess he thinks he was being original.
Girls are hotter at it then guys.
eh, i dont want to see dudes kissing
sorry
but lesbian kisses are ACCEPTABLE ALWAYS
unless it is Rosie O Donell
You see women kissing on stage pretty often. So for everybody to flip out over this proves it is indeed a double standard.
I hate homophobic guys who openly admit that they’re ok with watching two girls kiss but they think two guys kissing is “just wrong.” Maybe just wear a t-shirt that says, “I’m a homophobe, and i probably have secret gay tendencies that i won’t even confess to myself, so i compensate by being a jackass.”
Needless to say, i hate double standards of all kinds. Hey, isn’t that a bible verse?
I think that it should matter either way. If two women were to kiss, it wouldn’t phase anyone. I don’t think it should matter if a guy wants to kiss another guy.
just as many people complained when Britney and Madonna kissed.
If not more.
@quietmeteorshowers - My bad, I meant to quote the fact that you used the word “usually”. && that is indeed a terrible assumption.
@bukeshow - Again, too bad they are going to see it anyway, especially considering the increasing tolerance towards same sex couples.
Morality has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Sighs.
@Xm0shXgaZmX - the only times i actually see two girls kissing personally is when they are drunk. i have witnessed in person a lesbian kiss literally twice in my life.
i dont get out much haha
@quietmeteorshowers - Lol, I suppose not…which is precisely why you shouldn’t use “usually” and generalize something like that. :] I don’t mean that in a hostile way. I’m just saying. I definitely kiss other girls when I’m sober. haha.
@Xm0shXgaZmX - taking it up the ass doesn’t seem moral to me it just seems gross
@bukeshow - Lots of women “take it up the ass” from men, but you don’t hear people like you bitching about it.
Furthermore, sexual orientation is not just about sex. That’s just what the public likes to make it about. When you see a straight couple, you don’t automatically think about what they do in their bedroom. But homophobes see two guys holding hands and automatically say “oh god, they take it up the ass! They’re freaks!”. It’s ridiculous.
If a man falls in love with another man, how in the hell is that immoral?
@bukeshow - you are gross. be open minded. to each his own. you think its wrong. THEN DONT DO IT!
@Xm0shXgaZmX - :) and as long as you are happy that is awesome!
This is kind of like Madonna kissing Britney and Christina. Except it’s a dude kissing a dude, instead of a dude kissing a dude and a chick.
Of course.
I had no problem with him kissing a man, the problem was with his simulated blow job…not approrpiate for the venue, IMHO.
I don’t remember anybody getting upset a couple of years ago when Will Ferrell and Sacha Baron Cohen were rolling around kissing each other at the MTV Movie Awards. Everyone thought they were hilarious when they did that, but then Adam does it, and it’s disgusting and wrong? Shouldn’t these two situations be treated similarly? Just my opinion.
yeah.
Yeah there is a gross double standard….Go Adam!
Adam Lambert, the foul mouthed rappers who had to be constantly bleeped and Mr. Gaga were all discusting. The American Music Awards should be ashamed.
Oh yes we do. I don’t get what people are freaking out about. He grabbed his crotch…so what? Michael Jackson did that. He had it look like he was getting a blow job…so what? Other artists have done more racy things. Any Britney performance is racy and she never gets griped on about. At least Adam Lambert didn’t flash the audience like Janet Jackson. I’m glad he’s standing up for this. It’s okay for girls to kiss one another even if they aren’t lesbians. It’s okay in our culture to accept it as a normal thing, it’s not a homo thing. Two of my friends were drunk and making out and they’re not gay. What gives?
Definitely. It’s human nature.
And it sucks because when guys kiss it’s hot. Mmmm.
@ShimmerBodyCream - OMG! YES. THANK YOU! That picture made my DAY!
8D
- Kunoichi
It’s really sad to think this is what are society has come to not just the kissing the other crap that was on. Hey sex sells and the whole world is buying …some of you will know whree that came from. Its sad that people don’t see the perversion that is being excepted just to sell JUNK. This bone head should have been tought better.
damn this double standard!!!!
i wanna see Dan and Paul kissing!!!!
XD
You know, there are obviously double standards, as a straight male a small bit of me wants to watch a couple of girls kissing………. every teenage boys dream no? btu I don’t really want to see a couple of guys kissing because it doesn’t provoke the same reaction within me. I know I have a prejudice but knowing it I know I have to try even harder to be even handed in my treatment of gays (I have a gay sister whom I love dearly and this has helped me formulate my own framework within which to work out the whole homosexual thing). But when all and said and done I no which I would prefer to watch. If I have to watch either, that is the root of the problem. Sex sells, always has always will.
We? Not me! I really wonder why anyone cares?
@bukeshow - Do you think it’s sick if two women kiss? Be honest now…
It’s all publicity stunts, so does it really matter?
Of course we do, because women look better kissing than men lol
well if it isnt’s one thing it is another.to each his own..different strokes for different folks..either way i am a big ADAM LAMBERT fan! and if the people couldn’t complain about this ,they would complain or talk about something else..
I don’t want to see anyone kissing anyone while doing a performance. When Britney kissed Madonna…I was like…what the fuck? How random (and IMO unnecessary). Leave the kissing in the pornos. Kthnx.
Yep, it’s a huge double standard. Congrats, America, on being full of douchebag hypocrites.
One word: Madonna… the only complaint was why she kissed Britney longer than Christina… lol.
It’s the AMA’s…what did people expect? The Smothers Brothers?
Yes. Americans are afraid of what’s different. We were afraid of the native americans so we gave them smallpox. Afraid of the so called “witches” so we burned them at the stake. Afraid of gays so people gaybash. Americans are afraid of anyone or anything being different. Let’s give those kissers smallpox!
Pssh.
I don’t care if he’s gay. I want him NOW.
@maxxi2031 - I honestly don’t care either way. I just wanted to see what you had to say about it.
Did people complain when Madonna and Britney Spears kissed?
I’m seem to recall this one thing happening…. What was it? Oh yeah, Britney and Madonna kissed. Right? Hmmm…what was the response to that?
@annaisabanana08 - Ummm…the smallpox thing wasn’t exactly deliberate…. And they weren’t Americans.
@yourkbear -
“In 1763, a particularly serious
uprising threatened the British garrisons west of
the Allegheny mountains. Worried about his limited
resources, and disgusted by what he saw as the Indians’
treacherous and savage modes of warfare, Sir
Jeffrey Amherst, commander-in-chief of British
forces in North America, wrote as follows to Colonel
Henry Bouquet at Fort Pitt: “You will do well to try
to inoculate the Indians [with smallpox] by means of
blankets, as well as to try every other method, that
can serve to extirpate this execrable race.”
Bouquet clearly approved of Amherst’s suggestion,
but whether he himself carried it out is uncertain.
On or around June 24, two traders at Fort Pitt
did give blankets and a handkerchief from the
fort’s quarantined hospital to two visiting
Delaware Indians, and one of the traders noted in
his journal: “I hope it will have the desired effect.”
Smallpox was already present among the
tribes of Ohio; at some point after this episode,
there was another outbreak in which hundreds
died.
A second, even less substantiated instance of alleged
biological warfare concerns an incident that
occurred on June 20, 1837. On that day, Churchill
writes, the U.S. Army began to dispense “‘trade
blankets’ to Mandans and other Indians gathered at
Fort Clark on the Missouri River in present-day
North Dakota.” He continues:
Far from being trade goods, the blankets had
been taken from a military infirmary in St.
Louis quarantined for smallpox, and brought
upriver aboard the steamboat St. Peter’s. When
the first Indians showed symptoms of the disease
on July 14, the post surgeon advised those
camped near the post to scatter and seek “sanctuary”
in the villages of healthy relatives.
In this way the disease was spread, the Mandans
were “virtually exterminated,” and other tribes suffered
similarly devastating losses. Citing a figure of
“100,000 or more fatalities” caused by the U.S. Army
in the 1836-40 smallpox pandemic (elsewhere he
speaks of a toll “several times that number”),
Churchill refers the reader to Thornton’s American
Indian Holocaust and Survival.”
http://hnn.us/articles/7302.html
It
does say it is inconclusive though. No one can ever actually really
state what happened unless they were there and then it’s only heresay.
Either way, EW !
@LyricallyCharged - Guys kissing, girls kissing, men with hands over their crotches, women showing tits, women dressed complete sluts while dancing around another women, or complete sluts shakin their bootay at some annoying dressed rapper. I don’t give a crap what it is. It’s annoying, popstar posturing that gets on my nerves. Break double standard? Yeah, right.
That shit is gross!
@bukeshow - So because your children have seen two men kiss, they’re automatically going to grow up without morals? You might want to seriously check your parenting skills.
Definitely. I was told by someone who was talking about how homosexuality is bad etc, and he goes “the girls okay whatever, but the guys… DUDE NO!” That just annoyed me… either you’re okay with it or you’re not. A lot of guys like lesbian action, haha, so I guess that’s why, but gay action, for them, is just… gay.
I don’t have complaints about anyone kissing anyone so much as I’m sick of seeing celebs doing it at these award shows as a publicity stunt. It comes off as a lame, half-assed attempt to garner publicity for the unimaginative. Now Janet Jackson and her “Ooopsie my boobie fell out wardrobe malfunction”…THAT was a creative publicity stunt.
@Lost_In_Reverie - No I just don’t want them confused as hell.
@bukeshow - So don’t let them get confused as hell. You could always use it as a teaching opportunity to explain to your children about people who live a different lifestyle.
@Lost_In_Reverie - good point
I find both equally disgusting, but I know many guys like watching women kiss. I don’t know if women like seeing men kiss.
My complaint wasn’t about him kissing a guy, I didn’t care — it was that he was shoving all of his people into his crotch and that is disgusting and not meant for families…or anyone to see on ABC. Ugh.
It’s hot.