February 24, 2010
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No Soup For You
A mother is in the news because she punished her child for forgetting his lunch by withholding lunch from him.
The little boy forgot to put his lunch in his bag. The mother saw that he forgot to bring his lunch when she returned home from the bus stop. She e-mailed his teacher and said she didn’t want her son to have lunch as punishment.
The school gave the boy lunch anyway because they felt he would do better in school with lunch. The mother was upset at the school for not supporting her. Here is the link: Link
Should a mother withhold a meal as punishment?
Comments (125)
Um, that’s a straight phone call to child services at the school I work for.
No wonder kids are porkers.
No, that’s cruel.
Eating is a basic need for life, punish him with a timeout or something instead.
I fail to see how that could be a teaching tool, so not really no.
Poor kid’s gonna have eating problems when he grows up.
Was he fat?
I would consider that abuse. Children need to be fed.From 8-2:30…hell, I don’t know many adults who can go that long without some sort of nourishment.
If the mother was so put off by her son forgetting to pack his lunch, I’m sure there were other measures she could have taken. Though I think that forgetting one’s lunch is hardly something worth punishing.
I agree with poster #1, the Mother has to be checked.
@breaking_expectations - Kids can live several weeks without food, as long as they have water. :p To make a big deal over one meal is just ludicrous, especially given the probable OTHER circumstances surrounding the punishment.
There is probably more to this story than meets the eye. I know of kids who will leave their bag lunch at home out of spite, because their parents won’t agree to let them eat in the school cafeteria, where there’s pizza and other things kids love to eat. If I were a betting woman, I’d put my money on that being the case here.
And a kid can go without one meal on one day. My parents punished me a few times when I was little by withholding lunch or dinner. It was usually appropriate to my infraction.
Of course this case merits investigation, however.
P.S. And yes, I have a normal metabolism today, have never had ANY eating disorders, and am very healthy. So…speculations about “eating problems” later in life are likely going to be wrong.
no that kid needs to eat hello child services
My god, one meal. It won’t kill the kid to miss one. fricking. meal.
My elementary school didn’t give free lunches to kids that forgot their lunch or lunch money. They might give you like vegetables (always gross) and water, if you asked. Kids rarely did.
I think asking them not to let him have chocolate milk or dessert is feasible. Bet, letting him go hungry at school and at that age was probably a little much. I think that making sure his lunch gets put in his backpack should be her responsibility as much as it is his. I mean…especially if it’s that big of a deal to her.
Um, no.
Take away TV or something. Food is vital for survival. That’s just cruel.
No, that’s wrong.
no. that is not cool.
It’s the Mom Nazi!
Why not?
Missing a meal won’t kill him…
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHAME ON DAT MO!!!
@SecretNeverTold - i agree. a reason to look into it, but definitely not an automatic accusation. i’m one of four kids and the two boys are RIDICULOUS sometimes… like seriously, the things they do are so stupid and sometimes they do it on purpose to spite my parents. sometimes drastic measures are needed just to get the point across…
It will certainly make him learn…. i guess.
that is a really dumb reason to punish him
and withholding meals is never a good/proper punishment
No.
I’m guessing there is more to the story, like someone else said. The kid could have been leaving his lunch home on purpose to get the “junk food” lunch at school. And I can’t blame the mom if she didn’t want to play that game.
My parents used to tell me that if I didn’t eat what they served, I didn’t get anything. There were a couple times I went without dinner because I was being picky on purpose. I learned real quick that you better eat what mom makes. So long as the food is edible and not nasty, I don’t see what’s wrong with a parent imposing a rule like that.
no
This is baiting at it’s worst.
LAME.
The Obvious idiots immediately assume this lady is just a bitch.
Though,
You. for helping spread this idiocy, Deserve the Crown as always.
-Thend-
Not cool -.-
Well if he didn’t have lunch that day at school, I bet he would be hungry. Thus never forgetting his lunch again.
I would want to know the whole story. Mostly, did the kid leave it at home on purpose, or just forget it at home? Because if the kid forgot it, I think its a rather immature response on the mother’s part. Now if he did it everyday on purpose, I don’t think it would do the kid harm to let him see the consequences of his choices for one day. Missing one meal is not starving the kid. When I was a kid, we got sent to bed without dinner for acting up all the time, and all four of us are well-adjusted, college-educated, successful adults.
Why would that need to be punished? I think I’m missing something here.
wtf?! forgetting your lunch IS the punishment. Most students don’t have absurdly nice schools that give out free lunch.
No the mother had no right to forbid her child to eat lunch.
I have a crazy metabolism where I have to eat every few periods otherwise I go dead without energy… trust me, the school doesn’t poison their food. And it always tastes worse than homemade food. If the boy forgot it, he REALLY forgot it.
If I ever did something bad, like bad bad, not something so simple as forgetting my lunch, my parents would occasionally make me miss dinner but then I learned. HOWEVER, forgetting your lunch, wow. That’s not right.
Hmm. If it’s the first or second time,and it’s not a weird meal like fried tofu with hummus dip, I’d say let him eat the school lunch. If it’s habitual and spiteful, consultation with the school is in order.
I make all my students eat a balanced lunch- no Hot Cheetos and Jolly Ranchers, with a soda chaser.
No. I have only forgot my lunch one when I went to school I did not get punished as this was secondary school and could buy a sandwich from the school canteen.
The soup nazi would’ve have been sympathetic
wow -.-”
No. that could really mess a kid up.
It depends on his age. It teaches responsibility. I grew up that way. I only forgot my lunch twice. If we were late we also had to walk. I once had to walk 7 km’s home because I was a few minutes late. I learnt respect for my dads times and priorities. In retrospect I don’t think this was cruel just a good life lesson.
Let me add if its the first time he has done it then this is not ok. If he consistantly leave shis lunch at home this is different
This is one of the few countries in the world that food is so abundant. I do think that a six or eight hour space between meals is such a big deal, as the time between dinner and breakfast is about twelve hours. Let the parents do the parenting, if the kid is screwed up for whatever reason it would be blamed on them (parents) so let them parent.
Nope!
If I had forgotten my lunch, and didn’t have money to buy a lunch, I didn’t eat or ate what friends would buy/give me. This mother was trying to teach her son a little thing called responsibility. Don’t pack your lunch, risk the chance of not having anything for lunch. I think this is a stupid issue to even suggest child services over… yet, people are always so quick to respond “call child services” over anything they disagree with. it’s pathetic. This kid isn’t going to be permanently damaged for life. Now if he was just being starved every day, that would be another story. One lunch isn’t going to traumatize this kid. geez… people are so overdramatic!
I wonder how people would feel if this child didn’t eat what was being served for dinner and his mom didn’t quickly feed him something else? Moms shouldn’t have to be short order cooks, and if kids don’t like what’s being served, they don’t have to eat, simple as that! I know plenty of parents who don’t fix their kids things they like, if they don’t eat breakfast, lunch or dinner. They just go without until they get hungry enough to eat what was served. Is that abuse now too? Pathetic!
That’s just dumb, I’m sorry. So the kid forget his lunch, big deal. And just because some you guys see it as punishment and agree, doesnt mean its for everyone. A teacher or the principal could see that as abuse.
But I’m lol’ing at the people at the who agree with mom in thinking, shes right and anyone else who disagrees is an idiot and the kid needs to learn responsibility and blah blah blah.
I’m with Secret on this one.
Why not??? My mother used to send me to bed without supper. I don’t see the freakin difference. MAN, we’ve gotten so freakin ridiculous.
yeah absolutely. I mean so long as you only do it occasionally. the majority of kids in the world dont get 3 meals a day, and they tend do manage fine. missing a meal is not the end of the world. My mom did that to me and guess what… next time… I didn’t forget my lunch
what kind of freaking mother is that? if a child forgot his lunch, the mother should go to school to give it to him. wow.
i’m glad my mom was so much better.
I think the mother should have gotten in her car and drove the lunch to the school. She should sit with her son and watch him while he ate it. That way her son would be so embarassed that he forgot his lunch and he had to sit with his mom, instead of his peers, to eat it. He would probably remember THAT as punishment better than going without and getting the peanut butter sandwich his school would give him instead.
I love Seinfeld. Ya know, the show.
Missing on meal isn’t a bad thing–but for just forgetting his lunch? That is stupid. There is no need to punish a child for not remembering his lunch. Obviously he is still very young. She can help him remember by putting it with his stuff so he won’t forget. Sheesh, and maybe the teachers shouldn’t have fed him–but I think as he is a growing child that it is best for him to have a meal no matter.
People who think that a parent trying to teach their child that there are consequences for actions is a bad thing, are frankly retarded. Seriously. It isn’t like the kid was going to starve to death in the few hours between lunch, and when his mom served dinner. Plus, that little bit of hunger would have reminded that kid that he should have been responsible and next time he should make sure that he grabs his lunch. People who think missing one lunch is child abuse are a cancer killing the moral education of our society. Also, isn’t the entire thrust of public education to educate kids on how to survive in the real world, when the mature into adults? What did they just teach him? They taught him that it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do… there will always be someone else to compensate for you dropping the ball. Doesn’t matter that you didn’t do the things that you needed to do in order to eat, because there is some other government run program willing to provide for you anyway.
She could have just saved the lunchbag for next day.
@bamzilicious26 - Amen to that!
Not for that reason, but chances are it wasn’t simply because he forgot to pack his lunch.
@iStephanieMarie - the school you work for is stupid.
Are you kidding? Making him eat a school lunch is the worst punishment!
Nice Entree. This is the American Diet, Yes we do eat this stuff and we all wonder why its killing us.
Legally, schools can’t withhold lunch from kids…
What? Did nobody else get sent to bed without dinner as a kid if they misbehaved?
(also… I like the title Dan. Nice reference)
what a bitch.
I bet he would not have forgotten his lunch again but I think it is a bit harsh food should not be used as reward or punishment.
Absolutely the right thing to do. Each parent has their own style and 1 meal is not endangering the child. The school is out of line, the parent is trying to teach consequences and self-responsibility and the school circumvented that. 1 meal, 1 day of hunger, will teach a person to focus on the important things in life, like making sure I have my food and I am prepared for the day. If I don’t remember my food (kill, find, make sure i have) then I don’t eat. A valuable lesson, this is not abusive cruel or anything else but teaching a lesson. For the bleeding hearts, I doubt this is the first time (if it was I will stand corrected) but in situation like this the kid isn’t always gonna have mommy, that is life. Awwwwww but the poor little guy is gonna be hungry (whimper), he is a human and has a brain and must learn to use it, (but, but) he’s just a kid. And kids become adults and must be able to function in society or become dependent on a nanny-state. Hunger is not starvation it is a lesson about where you don’t want to be in the future.
@TheGiantSlayer - Agreed wish I would have saw this before i wrote mine. Well said
I think the mother has a right to punish her kid. But I’m thinking that forgetting his lunch & getting mad at him for doing that isn’t all that important. Kids forget. It would be something like if he forgot his jacket at school or something. Not lunch…. But then again. If he didn’t have lunch & didn’t have means to get anything for lunch. He wouldn’t forget it again… So hm.
I’m kinda on the fence with this one.
I don’t think I would do that to punish my kid, but I don’t have kids….
eh, that’s not punishment.. making him eat school food is punishment.
For once I agree with the school. I just finished reading this linked article, and the mother in question borders on OCD. She has all the family meals planned out over a month in advance. She didn’t want to teach him responsibility. She wanted to punish him for going violating her perfect little order. And she’s angry because the school let him get away with it.
I’m not going to pounce on the parent on this one… like others I’m not certain what the full story is… now if this becomes a regular thing for neglectful purposes it really is a problem.
I would report her to CPS child protection services
No.
No.
Was this the first time it happened? Did he forget or were there other reasons? Does the child get enough to eat on a regular basis?
I have sent my kids to bed without supper once. But they did eat their other meals and had snacks so they weren’t starving, even though in the morning they sure were feeling hunger pains! It all depends on all the circumstances. I probably would have taken away the “extra” part of his lunch. It’s too hard to concentrate in school with a rumbly belly…
I went without meals for a punishment. Not during school though. My parents were like @firetyger ‘s. They didn’t play that game. I had very strict parents. I don’t agree with everything they did (locking me in a closet or push ups until I cried), but they loved me. Call me crazy…but I see the mother’s point. If the kid starts missing multiple meals during school then that’s a huge red flag. Just once, no biggie.
@SecretNeverTold - I agree with SecretNeverTold. The kid is not going to suffer any kind of damage from missing one meal. Missing one meal is hardly abusive. This one incident doesn’t warrant an investigation. I don’t even know why this story even made the news.
I’ve heard of the “Go to bed with no supper” but I don’t think it should be a punishment. Taking away a meal and depriving a child of nutrition is more of a serious consequence than having a cell phone taken away, even if it’s just one meal. Besides…I don’t see why forgetting your lunch is deserving of a punishment. The woman is off her rocker.
@iiinfinitesimal - Haha, my parents made me eat spoonfuls of cayenne pepper if I lied or smart-mouthed. Then one time my brother spit at me, my mom made him spit into a cup until it was full. It took him all day. My parents didn’t take any crap off their kids. The younger set of four boys gets away with a LOT more now than we ever did, and I think that’s partially because my parents got tired of being vigilant :p
i’m sure the school had concerns of its own. what were the chances that they didn’t feed the child and then the mom turned around and had a hissy and would file charges against the school. people get very antsy when it comes to withholding food from a child. one meal isn’t going to kill the kid, but the way state governments are, she would probably be at risk for cps coming in for investigation on that. i think she needed to come up with a better form of discipline, conducted at home, to try to impress on the kid to remember. of course, if this is the first time it has ever happened, i think she went overboard. you can’t tell me she has never forgotten something. if it started becoming a habit, then you need to take some steps to correct it.
If the kid is a repeat offender of forgetting lunches parent prepares, then yes.
I taught at a school where they had to give a child a veggie tray if they forgot their lunch money or lunch. There’s no way a school would not feed a child during a full school day. How old is this child, by the way? Kids forget their lunches a lot. Heck, even I am known to forget to bring my lunch from time to time. It seems like this punishment, maybe with good intentions, was not thought out & may quite possibly end up involving social services.
ooh god the kid could survive without food for one day my mom used to do that to me if i forgot to bring my lunch & i called her asking for lunch money she wouldnt bring it
so i always remembered to bring my lunch or money
its not that big of a deal at all
That’s totally abuse.
As a kid I would have been happy about that. lol
stupid, stupid b!tch.
I think it’s a good punishment by the mom, she doesn’t want her child to neglect such thing and become a spoiled.
@Ayliana87 - You missed that part where he had a healthy breakfast and would be fed promptly at 2:30.
I’m really guessing there’s more to this story, like the kid didn’t want to eat the food his mom made him. (Maybe it was hamburger day at school or something.)
If I was being an idiot as a kid I on occasion didn’t get dinner, it was not common though. Missing one meal won’t hurt the kid.
Denying the kid dessert or his favorite part of the meal might be okay, or just giving him veggies, but no food at all? Abuse much?
@Grizzly7718 - So? If that was her main objection then why bother to pack him a lunch in the first place? Why get angry at the boy when the problem he caused will resolve itself one way or another? And why get even angrier at the school when they refused to punish the child in accordance to her wishes?
This has nothing to do with the lunch. This has to do with the womans unconscious desire to control every facet of her and her son’s life.
I was told that’s illegal in the child abuse classes I’ve taken.
It is none of my business.
@Babyboomerjill - and you would back up a system designed to help children in ACTUAL cases of abuse. That would have been a waste of resources and man power, simply because a mom was trying to parent her child. it isn’t like she beat him with a wrench, or locked him in a hamper for hours on end… no, she made the kid go without lunch. Plus, it doesn’t even matter if she is doing everything right, and is a model parent, CPS would likely come in and take the kid regardless of what state things are in, hang on to the kid for a minimum of seven months while a good parent is fighting tooth and nail to get their child back. SO, in essence, because people like you are so quick to over react at that drop of a hat, over 1 peanut butter and jelly sandwich… an entire family gets messed up for about a year. I cant stand that.
@stillooking2find - This may have been the smartest comment yet.
@buffyfan_5 - The kid had breakfast, and the kid would have been fed dinner. That isn’t abuse.
ridiculous.
an occasion, at home, to tell a child to go to bed without supper, is fine9 especially when you know you will give him food soon anyway because you feel sorry for the kid. To call a school and tell them not to feed the child is bad though. In addition to the poor child not having a meal, he has to be around other children eating and possibly teasing him because he had no food. What kind of”mother” would allow that to happen?
This actually happened to me in my school. The student told me what happened and I bought him lunch. The mother called the school and instructed all the teachers and admin to NOT give him lunch if he continues to forget his lunch. But she didn’t instruct me NOT to give him a snack!
@Ayliana87 – The child is in fourth grade. He’s still very young, and obviously she is going to need to control most aspects of her son’s life. Therefore, your point is moot.
@TheGiantSlayer - Thank you. Honestly, this post kind of hit home for me. It really irks me when I see a boatload of comments posting, “CHILD ABUSE.” “OMG CONTACT CPS” when there is nothing wrong with what the mother did. That kind of punishment may not be agreeable with other people, but just because you don’t agree with it, doesn’t make it wrong.
When I was younger, my parents would make me kneel for hours on end whenever I did anything wrong. I mean, the most it did was make my knees hurt after a while. I told my friend about it one time, who told her parents, who then phoned Child Protective Services against my parents. It led to an investigation that took months on end and which had a drastic, negative effect on my parents who were fighting hard to prove that they weren’t doing anything wrong. And for what? Making me kneel?
Seriously. Stop putting yourselves on a pedestal of morality and learn to accept that not everyone is going to do what only you think is acceptable.
Easy for her to say he can’t have any lunch; she’s not spending all day with him.
wow. number one, no, that’s unhealthy, and number two, because he forgot his lunch one time? i forget my lunch at home sometimes and my mom doesn’t even anything about it.
I thought this was going to be something about Seinfeld..But um he’s a growing kid I think he’d need the food, but parents do take away meals. Don’t they??
Based soley on the information in this post, I’d say that my only issue is that the punishment doesn’t seem to fit the offense. A kid can go without a meal easy. I used to skip school lunch any time they didn’t have anything I wanted to eat thoughout elementary school. (and let’s face it, sometimes not eating is preferable to school food anyway… especially when it saves you the money)
I’m not saying that not getting lunch isn’t an appropriate consequence for forgetting lunch, but it wouldn’t have been the school’s place to withhold lunch as punishment for what occurred that morning, before school hours.
Plus, I ultimately agree with the school’s choice. Kids do better in school when they’re “full and focused,” as the Shredded Wheat commercials put it. And when the child is in public school, the teachers and administrators should have the right to make that decision.
Obviously it is correct not to feed him. The child forgot his lunch and he should suffer the consequences. Missing one meal is not a big deal from a health standpoint and might teach the child the importance of getting ready for school. I would be irate with the school if they went against my expressed wishes like that…if they felt that bad for the child they should have sent him home or called child welfare.
Dude, you cant keep food away from a child. Ther are growing and need that nutrision!!!
I wouldn’t give the little chump any lunch if that was my kid
Sick and tired of people always jumping the gun and saying that is child abuse. We have all survived missing a meal. The mother made a choice and we have no idea why. There is two sides to every story and kids love to manipulate situations to get what they want. How many parents have suffered from false accusations. I know that some accusations are true, but who are we to attack the mom without knowing the entire story. I am a foster parent and know what it is like to be at the end of false accusations. Hillary Clinton quote of “It takes a village to raise a child” cant stick up if we don’t stick together. Kids are out of control all around us. Just needed to rant some.
Either there is more than meets the eye here like @SecretNeverTold suggested or simply the mother wanted to teach her child young that there are consequences for forgetful actions.
Kids these days AREN’T taught about the real world, because the false world built around them gives them safety nets for everything. Some parents don’t like that. And yes, I realize this is a small instance, but small instances are what make up situations and circumstances.Going without lunch for one day really isn’t abuse. The mom is probably just being a mom. I would definitely like to see more signs of abuse before I called her abusive. . .
@breaking_expectations -
Are you kidding?? Are you trying to say that if a kid misses a lunch he will not have what he needs to live? This kind of ridiculous thinking is what causes things like Obama to be elected. Hopefully you do realize that people do not die from not eating a single meal. How many times do parents tell their kids to eat what is given to them or they get no food? How many times have those kids gone up to their rooms and died of hunger? I just wish people would think prior to speaking.
Sure. He won’t die without ONE lunch. He would have learned fast.
@Ayliana87 - The part that bothers me is that the school has just usurped the parents right to deem what is fit for their child. It is the slippery-slope arguement. A mother that lives life in control through order and discipline is not one we she hold contempt for, she has got 4 kids, give the lady a break. If the child had forgotten his lunch for the first time ever I would be in agreement with you that it is wrong. Even so it is not the school’s right to against the parent’s request. Unless the school can prove that the child is in clear danger it has no authority over the parents wishes. Why does order and control bother you?
@TheGiantSlayer - I am a retired pediatric nurse and if there is a small abuse there could be larger ones when no one is looking.
I understand what you are saying but that is not a loving parent to me.
People are so fing soft these days. Missing a meal won’t kill anyone. If she really wants to make sure her son learns his lesson she should make him use his own money to pay for that lunch. Parting a kid from their money will teach them a lesson quickly.
And kids do leave their lunches at home just so they can be cool and eat the school lunch. Why I don’t know because there is more nutrition in a can of dog food.
$1.75 for a school lunch, vs. the packed lunch…hmm…
In my time, I had a preference for [some] of the school lunches. My mom set up a system of sorts in which I would be given a choice between a home-packed lunch and a school lunch – but that I’d have to earn the lunch specifically.
Just like, in my time, I was given a set amount of money towards clothes – and if I chose to spend the full amount on two items at a big-ticket store or if I chose to spend the full amount on several outfits at the thrift store, the decision would be mine. Yes, even as young as elementary school.
The consequences were that I would have to live with my decision. Period.
The article does not state if the kid has dietary issues – hypoglycemia, gluten allergies/modifications, etc. There is more to it than meets the eye, I’m sure.
That aside – the parents relinquish custody of the kids during school hours. She got upset. Now it’s in the press. That’s got to be awkward for any kid, I’m sure…
@TheGiantSlayer - Thanks. Maybe I’m learning after all these years. (I must admit that I have an opinion, being the father of two kids (16 and nearly 23) who received appropriate discipline when necessary and have turned out rather well–thank the Lord! Having read a bit of what you wrote, it seems that my opinion and yours are close.)
@Grizzly7718 -
Have you ever heard of the term ‘in loco parentis’? Public Schools are the custodial guardians of all thier students during class time. During school hours they’re the ones who decide what’s best for the child, not the parents. The moment the school sends him home, he’s your child again. But while he’s in school, he belongs to them. The fact that this mother called the school tried to tell them how to handle the situation, when it was out of her hands and no longer her concern, is another red flag for me.
Also, your arguement goes both ways. If schools were required to respect the wishes of the parents (and what they deem fit for the child) instead of the needs of the students, blatant child abuse and neglect would go unchecked. They had every right, and a legal obligation to feed the boy whether or not the mother agreed with it. If she doesn’t like that then she shouldn’t be sending her child to public school in a first place.
I have no problem with order or control. But the amount of control that this woman is trying to exert over the small details of her sons life is unhealthy, and it borders on obsession. I fail to see how this incident has taught him anything about personal responsibility. If she really wanted to teach him that lesson, she would’ve left this whole issue alone and let him deal with it himself.
unless the kids a teen, then that is crazy and that is not a good reason to punish the kid. Some people should not be parents.
If I were the kid I woulda begged treats off of friends- I did it often enough when I forgot my brown bag lunch. Wouldn’t have mattered if the school gave me a meal or not. Dunno how that mom expected the kid to go the whole day without anyone feeling sorry and sharing with him.
nooooo. at my elementary school the school would probaly call my mom first to bring up a lunch, or they’d give me a lunch but i’d have to pay it with my lunch account, and i had no money in it.
No parent should ever punish a child by “sending them to bed without supper”.
I don’t see why not. Its not like missing one lunch is going to starve the boy. It used to be an acceptable punishment to send your child to bed without supper if he or she was acting up.
Now, I understand a lot of things that used to be acceptable punishments are no longer acceptable. For example, we can’t beat our kids anymore. And, I wouldn’t want that to be acceptable. But, please. Withholding lunch is not a terrible thing. Withholding lunch from the child EVERY day for no reason, not allowing the child to eat at all, etc. now that would be bad. But, withholding ONE lunch simply because she was attempting to teach him to remember from now on to take his lunch with him and not be so forgetful of important things? Not a huge deal.
However, I think she’s making a huge deal out of it for no reason if all the issue is is that the school gave him lunch anyway. From my experience with schools, they rarely do what you tell them to do with regards to your child. If you want the child to be able to leave early that day and call in and say so, the school will go, “Sure, okay” and never give the message to the child. If that isn’t within their policy, fine, but why tell the parents that you will do it and then not do it? In fact, over the course of the years, my parents called in with several messages for me that never got to me, most of which did not involve leaving school campus at all. The school doesn’t care what you have to say as a parent. Period.
I think this is a huge mountain made out of an anthill.
I say it’s fitting. Most schools don’t feed you if you forget your lunch- if I forget mine, I’m screwed! The consequence should easily relate to the mistake and this does.
Now he will associate being picky or forgetful with being unpleasantly hungry for a few hours.
And jeez, that is not abuse, nor neglect. He’s not going to DIE. He just doesn’t get lunch- like most kids who forget or don’t make their lunches.
Anyway, because the teacher fed him, he’ll start thinking that actions have no consequences. And that there will always be someone to bail him out when he screws up. Better to learn the cold hard truth as soon as possible, I think.
Besides, half the kids I know skip breakfast before eating half a box of fries for lunch. And this little kid is now “abused” for not getting a lunch for a day? Puh-leeze.