October 23, 2010
-
Looking at Your Mom’s Vagina
I was reading a facebook update from a friend who used to be on xanga.
She was talking about letting her younger child watch her give birth. She was asking for suggestions and apparently she was letting her child watch videos of the birth process so he would not freak out while watching his mother give birth. I got the impression she was going full throttle and was letting the child see the whole birth.
Should a mother let her child watch her childbirth?
Comments (87)
Might… depend on the age of the child. And the strength of their stomach.
We were all born with a fur collar around our necks.
no… as a child that’s traumatizing..
How old is the child? I’m not sure if I’d let my son watch his little brother or sister come outta my vag. He may be only 3, but that’s weird. He could be in the room if he would sit still and be good, but not down in front where the action is. I only want the dr there to catch my baby.
I don’t want to see any vagina in the birthing process, let alone my mom’s.
I don’t mind. If my mother didn’t have a C-Section, I would of watched my little brother come out normally. I was like 10 or so.
The vagina is ugly as sin until boys reach a certain age. And even then they have to develop a taste for it.
I watched most of my siblings get born.
I’m sure its the best birth control ever.
And I’m also sure that I have a super high appreciation for the female body and what it can do.
Why the hell not?
I don’t see a problem with that
Why not?
I miss the good old days when giving birth was not a spectator sport. It’s too scary for a little kid to see his mom in that much pain.
I got to watch all three of my siblings births. The first was when I was 3 1/2. I thought it was interesting…got to see what I’d get to go through in the future.
It depends on the age of the child, and whether he wants to or not. if he doesn’t want to, off to grandma’s with you, child. if they’re younger, it might scare them (seeing mommy in pain, blood, ect)
if they want to, great. But NOT down there where the action is, staring it up.
That’ll scar them for life.
I think I wouldn’t mind my son to watch me give birth one day.
@saintvi - you mean the days where men were banned from hospital rooms, and babies were getting snatched from nurseries?
I think I just puked a little in my mouth.
Depends on the age of the child, and their own opinion in the process.
I don’t see why not, if the kid wants to. I saw a birth video in elementary school. I wouldn’t want to see someone I was related to giving birth though. TMI for me.
I don’t see what the big deal is.
@LoBornlytesThoughtPalace - develop a taste for it? that’s an interesting way to put it.
I think she should put the kid right between her ankles and when pushing scream…
“THIS IS WHAT I HAD TO DO TO BRING YOU INTO THIS WORLD, SO WHEN I SAY NO I MEAN NO! OR I WILL PUT YOU BACK!!!!!!!!”
I witnessed my mother giving birth when I was 6, 11, 15 and I would have seen the last one when I was 18 but I didn’t live close enough.
@maniac_rose - LOL
I don’t see why not. My oldest was there for 2. Just cause he is in the room doesn’t mean he will be at that end. Usually the kids sit up by the head of the bed so they have very limited a view.
Looks like all the youngest siblings got off easy.
I don’t think it’s necessary, yet at the same time I wouldn’t consider it as perverted as “looking at your mom’s vagina” either. Childbirth is not exactly a sexual thing.
I don’t think it’s so bad. When I was ten, my mom gave birth, in our house, to my younger sister. They didn’t make me watch, but since she had her at home, what else could I do? I didn’t sit there and watch it happen the whole time, cos I was pretty grossed out, but I don’t feel like it caused any emotional scarring to me. We had loads of people over, and it was all very exciting… I watched her give birth two more times at home over the next couple of years…I think it let me know what I would be getting myself into if I ever decided to have children
I definitely don’t think a son should see his mother’s nakedness.
When it comes to a daughter, I don’t think it matters. But… not a son. Because it wouldn’t be right for the daughter to see her father’s nakedness. Relations are relations- you shouldn’t see opposite-gender relatives naked.
i don’t see why not, we (almost) all came out the same way.
i saw both my younger siblings getting born, from the graffic end might i add, it wasnt my mothers fault, my aunt dragged me there and bitched about how i was going to put my wife through that some day, and that was when i told her i was gay so there was nothing to worry about, that shut her up pretty quick
im thankfull that i was born with a penis, and im sorry women have to push a watermellon out of something the size of a hose, but somone has to do it
only if you want him to go gay.
To each their own… But I agree with ItIsAllGravy. And somethings? Just cannot be unseen…
When I was a kid I used to watch bithing show nonstop like everyday with my mom once I hit puberty I stopped and felt… scarred for life. I’m not sure how it happened but it did and now I don’t ever watch birthing shows.
Ahahahahahahaha
I read the title and fell over with laughter.
Oh man!
Yeah definitely! Invite the whole family! Upload vid for the cousins and coworkers too with instructional breast feeding footage also.
( I kid)
I agree with Beth though. If kid wants to, I see no problem. Especially if it’s a daughter.
@maniac_rose - This.
Why does everyone care so much about this? If the kid really wants to, then let ‘em. Its not like the mom is making them watch or anything.
If the kids want to and the mom is OK with it I do not see a problem.
i dont see why not. as a kid it might be kind of a cool experience, but depends on the kid.. some might wanna pass.
I have no problem with it. My nephew saw his own birth at age 5, because he was curious about the whole deal.
I’m tempted to sing the Facts of Life theme song. LOL
I wouldnt mind it. I mean it wouldnt be the doctor’s view but I wouldnt mind my kid(s) being their to watch their sibling being born. I’ve seen it on birthing shows. The kids usually hang on the side or to the back of the room. It’s not like they help to catch the baby.
Wrong questions. The correct question should be “Should THIS mom let THIS child see”. Since all children are different, and all children are at different levels of comprehension and understanding, and empathy, no one answer can be given.
Although I can’t say about this mother and child, I can say that she has a right to consider it and then make a determination based on the child itself.
I gave birth to my second child when my daughter was just shy of 5 years old. We lived in a place where we didn’t know or trust anyone enough to entrust them to my daughter’s care while I was in the hospital. It didn’t bother me that she watched me give birth but her vantage point was behind me so that she did not have to see the whole gruesome process. Childbirth is a beautiful thing but what happens to the vagina is quite ugly. I wouldn’t subject any kid to that. Had I been able to give birth at home like I wanted, we probably would have actually shooed her from the room unless she really wanted to stay.
I watched my youngest sisters birth. It was amazing, and beautiful, and special… and a great form of birth control to be honest.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with having your older children witness their siblings come into the world. I have always felt blessed to have been part of it.
Depends on how old and mature the child is. I guess if the kid asked to and could leave anytime he wanted to, it would be okay. Weird, but okay.
My almost 3 year old watched her sister’s birth. She skipped the labor and came in just in time for the delivery. She didn’t see my vagina though. I was in a birthing pool and on my hands and knees for most of it. I stood up at the very end, but nothing more was visible than what she sees when we shower. She was very excited and happy about the new baby and was not frightened. We had watched some youtube ahead of time to prepare her and see what her reactions were. She loved the youtube births too. I think it’s great for a kid to see his/her siblings born as long as the birth is a positive experience. I’ve definately attended some births that no child should see.
NO. That’s like showing a kid a decapitation video in the hopes that it doesn’t freak them out if they see it later on in life. It doesn’t matter what age you see that kind of stuff, it’s just traumatizing.
My own husband could barely handle watching me give birth to my daughters. I can’t imagine a child watching it.
I don’t see anything wrong with it.
i wouldn’t let my kids see me do it… let alone my own mom. varies person to person.
I think there is nothing wrong with it if the child wants to be there. My two sons were present at the birth of their sister, at a hospital birth, they had classes for the family, They were 5 and 7 at the time and they wanted to be there. I do remember the doctor saying are you sure you want them to be in here, referring to the boys and not the girls, but they spoke up and said they were staying, plus my husband was there. Any who, it was too late by that point anyway, They had as much joy watching the birth as any one else. When they went home that day there grandmother was there and asked the boys, “did you get to see your baby sister come out of mommy’s tummy?” The boys looked up at my mother-in-law with their big blue eyes and said, “Nonnie, that baby did NOT come out of mommy’s tummy!” They are now 18 and 20 and are well rounded adults, it did not scar them for life.
No! The only one who should see the full terror or childbirth from a pubic view is the OB-GYN! This woman cut my vag, so it wouldn’t tear, put salad tongues up my “canal” to pull out my child, and used needle and thread to make it all better. Why in the world would I want to have my child watch that? I didn’t see it and I’m darn glad!
More reasons:
1. My brother passed out watchiing his wife give birth (yes, flat on his back!)
2. You can shit when you push out a child (I didn’t, praise the lord, my my best friend Ann did, as do many women)
3. I believe in equality. I insisted my husband stay by my shoulders during our daughter’s birth.
Why should my daughter see more than my husband or me?
scared… that child is scared for life.
O_O
I wouldn’t even want to watch my own childbirth.
I’ll use an chestnut to allegorize how we alter to a acceptable replica watch brand. In our boutique in Via Montenapoleone, it generally happens that if a applicant is faced with a best of 5 watches from the latest collection, afterwards accepting hesitated for a few minutes, they end up affairs them all. Afterwards all, 5 altered colours go with 5 altered outfits, from antic to elegant.
i’m a retired nurse but i’m still old school,too
…huh… That’s a wee bit weird, no?
..whatever floats your boat, momma.
It’s really up to the family, but my opinion is it depends on the age and maturity of the child.
A young child, even if the birthing process is well explained in advance, might find it very frightening to see his or her mom in that much pain during labour, as opposed to an unfamiliar woman on film.
In those instances, it’s probably wiser to wait until they’re older, and involve them in the pregancy, the earlier stages of labour, and immediately after the baby is born.
Why not? I see no problem for the daughter to watch.
Lots of questions need answered 1st:
Will the hospital staff be on board with it?
How old is the child? If the child is too young then they will not remember it anyway when they get older and they my be fine right up until they see mom in action… what if the child freaks out at that point? will that child have someone to help him/her? Mom will be a too busy.
What if something goes wrong – the hospital staff will want to remove him/her from the room – how will they handle it?
Child birth is not pain free and then there’s the whole body fluids stuff. Not to mention where in the room will child be? That is asking a lot of the Dr. to deal with – giving birth is serious stuff-far from Fri. night at the movies!
Is the birthing taking place at home or hospital?
Not enough info. to make a good call on it!
It’s a vagina, not a circus.
I think… that if they want to see it then they should’t be ‘disallowed to’ but at the same time, I don’t think it’s fair to force some kid to watch their mom give birth.
It’s not all that weird though, used to be kids helped with their parent’s births all the time. not the case with modern conveniences any more….
I used to watch videos of surgeries when I was younger. Doesn’t seem that much different.
Why not?
I think the child should have the choice. And I really don’t think I’d want them to anyways.
uhm, no. Thats discusting. A little kid might get all kinds of ideas that other things are okay to see. Like daddy pulling his pants down. I’m not kidding. A childs mind is a very sensitive sponge and every kid is different. You have to be careful of everything when they’re little. Thats tramatizing not to mention he will probably tell everyone at school he saw his moms “pee pee” if hes talkative like my siblings are. Becuase even at 8 or 9 they still don’t entirely know what is right and wrong to say in public.
If it’s what the child wants, then I guess it all depends on how comfortable you are with your kid watching you. Personally, I don’t want anymore people in there than there needs to be. I certainly wouldn’t ask the kid if (s)he wanted to watch, nor would I invite them in or say “hey come see this”. However, if a C-section or something came up, I’d definitely want that kid out of there. Birthing complications can be traumatic on a kid, age depending.
I don’t think that I would let any of mine watch that, of course they were all boys.
People are getting weird. Not just unique. We’re talking fucking weird.
Why would you want your child to be in the room? (None of that “closeness” bullshit either. You can play with your kid if you wanna feel “close” to them)
1. First of all, most women get pissed the hell off during childbirth because it’s painful. So yeah. I can just see the kid watching mommy cuss and daddy out because he “fucking did this” to her. And even if the mom doesn’t cuss, or yell, it is traumatizing for a child to see his/her mother in pain…this is basic developmental psych stuff. Just because you let the child watch youtube videos doesn’t mean she’s going to be acclimated to the process or aware of what will happen….it just means the child thinks that you’re making him/her watch “another show.”
2. If the child is young, they’ll have no idea what’s going on, but if their of a certain age and get it….that would be traumatizing. Either way you’re playing with fire. If they have no idea whats going on, they’ll ask questions. ALOT of questions that will lead to a conversation that probably didn’t have to happen for a couple more years. And, if it’s traumatizing, you better be willing to pay for the effing therapy.
3.You wouldn’t let a kid watch a movie with gore in it, but you’ll let them watch the birthing process (which is also just as bloody/gory)???
I could go on, but I’m not. This is ridiculous. Seriously.
I would not let my child watch that. Not only is it possibly traumatic, but chances are the child is young and will bother everyone he/she knows with the details and questions.
I agree with a combination of your commenters….age, education, want to all go into it. Sure there can be pain but there also are epidurals. i think if they are explained all the ins and outs of birth, including the pain, and that it is all worth it when they lay that new little life in your arms. The only danger I see would be if something went wrong.
Child abuse and a bizarre mentality to even suggest this.
I’m so glad none of you weird fucks live near here, I’d have to put holes in heads just to feel safe at night.
I think, for the most part, it depends on the age of the child and the maturity level. If the child was, say, 2, but didn’t have a filter on what he/she said, I’d say no. But if it was say, a teenager, I’d probably have at least one lengthy talk with him/her about the whole thing (going into why I was allowing it, what I wanted the teenager to get out of it, that I had a preference of wanting the teenager to wait until marriage or a long term relationship to have babies, etc). Even then, I’d probably make sure there was another family member around so that if the child gets bored, they change their mind and don’t want to watch or something happens, the said adult can take said child out of the room.
Trying to look at it from a child’s pov, the actual process might be too confusing. I’d say take into consideration of the age and maturity level of the said child.
But, in the end, only parents can make that choice.
I am a 65 year old man. I was raised in an open and informed environment. I knew where babies “came from”. I saw my daughter being born. And last month my daughter asked me to be present , and help, in the delivery of grand daughter. It was an honor. Your upbringing affects your attitude toward body functions, sexual matters, and everything else. Do what you feel comfortable with, but don’t judge others choices.
Actually I don’t think that this is appropriate, too much information, this could have an adverse effect on this child that does not understand such things and his mind is not ready for this information…I pray this mother second thinks this situation and acts appropriately. No disrespect to her for wanting to educate her child but needs to understand that children see the world differently from adults and this could be a trauma to him and create some unnecessary issues…good intentions but not necessarily wise ones…just enjoy giving birth and allowing your child to see his sibling for the first time in a warm blanket in mommie’s arms….
@Xbeautifully_broken_downX - @deadatlonglast - Child abuse? Seriously? Like I said, I was ten when I watched my sister being born, and I wasn’t traumatized and I never felt like it was unfair for my mother to give birth at home where I couldn’t not be apart of what was happening. I think like many people are saying, it’s all a matter of if the child would want to see, or if they’re mature enough to handle the situation. I think if I could do it, most others could. I’m the most squeamish person I know and I was able to stomach it. I think it’s just a fact of life that most people have to witness at some point, as most of these children will become mothers and fathers at some point in time. I think a lot of people don’t give kids enough credit, they’re smart and resilient, and if you’ve explain the situation to them, it’s nothing like watching a gory film where peoples’ arms get chopped off suddenly without warning or something crazy like that…
I think every situation is different. When my daughter gave birth to her second child, she didn’t allow the older one in the room, he was only about 5…not old enough I don’t think to see his Mom in pain…it’s not the body parts so much, I think, as it is the painful process. That being said, my grandsons know where babies come from. If the kids are older and are mature enough to handle it, I would say yes, but not the little guys.
@RoverMoon - Understandably, you would defend your own personal experiences and your mother’s choices. Nevertheless, I still don’t agree with the idea of it. Just because children are “smart” and “resilient” doesn’t mean you should test it. I don’t believe in coddling kids–far from it, however, I do think that being exposed to something like childbirth…is irresponsible on the parent’s behalf…and completely unnecessary. Though, I am glad that you feel like it was a positive experience for you.
I know when I first saw anyone give birth I was about eight years old. I saw nothing ugly or truamatic about it. I was amazed and filled with a deep respect for the human body and what it can do. When I was older and learned how a child is made, instead of yelling, “eewww gross” like many other people in my class, I thought, “oh, wow.” I saw it as beautiful way to create life because I had seen a baby be born. I say, yes, if she wants her child to see her new sibling be born, then go for it! Its a great eye opener.
Actually, my mom recorded all of our births (she has six kids). So, I saw myself being born on video. I wasn’t really grossed out or traumatized by it at all. I was more interested in seeing myself coming out as a tiny baby.
I really dont think it is a great idea to let the child actually watch giving birth. But to each their own I guess…
The only way I would let this happen is if my daughter was at the age where she started understanding the process of how a baby is born and she ASKED to be there when her brother/sister is born. I would not let my son watch this. The only time I want my son seeing this is if he’s having a baby of his own.
I cant believe this would even be up for debate. Some people should just not have childeren. The state should start a mandate that you need a liscense first so we can make sure morrons like this dont reproduce :S
Lol I personally would never in a million years want to witness that, I didn’t even want to see myself giving birth lol. My boyfriend watched his brother’s birth when he was 9 and he said it was “all kinds of fucked up” lol.
If the child is interested sure why not. It’s certainly not sexual in nature.
i say yes becasue there is nothing quite as disturbing terrifing and beutiful as watching a watermelon come out of a tiny whole there is no shame and nothing sexual ther at all in that moment the vagina isnt even it self anymore it is its purpose.
I just think it is a personal matter that each family can decide and it has to do with the maturity of the child.
let them wait until they get someone knocked up, just like everyone else. Don’t set up a poor little boy with that being his first encounter with a vagina, that’s child abuse.