October 24, 2010
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Teen Girl Marries Without Parent Consent
A pregnant 17-year-old girl was allowed to marry by a judge without the consent of her parents.
The girl insisted she would be forced to have an abortion if she was forced to stay at home. In Ohio, a teen younger than 18 needs the permission of her parents to get married unless a judge allows the marriage. Here is the link: Link
Do you think a 17-year-old should need her parent’s permission to get married?
Comments (97)
Not in this situation.
yes, they should need parental consent but only in certain situations. If the law says a judge can decide, then the judge can decide.
In any normal case, yes. But considering these extenuating circumstances…
Why are 17 year olds having sex?
That’s a bad reason to get married for. It echoes my parents. And what happened to them? They are both divorced.
@musterion99 - lol? xD
Yes. Parents should also be allowed to ship off their 17-year-old daughters to convents in Switzerland without repercussions.
Well….she could’ve just moved out. I moved out as soon as I turned 17. Now making the decision to marry….not for a 17 year old, but that’s just my opinion…the law is the law.
I’m not sure that you’ve given enough information for me to have an opinion, but it sounds like it will make an interesting court case.
Lol, she’s turning eighteen in January. That’s what kills me.
Anyway, it’s a weird situation, but OMG SERIOUSLY. The parents are so stupid here. I’d SO go back to my parents if not only did they scare me enough to seek emancipation (Children services investigations, talked to teachers and principal about her fears for her own safety) but then went to the media! To…complain about me, or something? Jeez. What morons. I’d emancipate her too. They’ve got the support of her fiance’s family. I don’t see the issue. I mean, personally I don’t recommend marriage for high school students, but extenuating circumstances, yadda yadda, wish ‘em the best.
Yes, you should need parental consent, but also, she shouldnt be forced to do anything with her body with out her own consent. It seems like this should be more of a case of her getting ‘divorced’ (i cant think of what its called at the moment.) from her parents, than getting married at such a young age.
@musterion99 - 15 year olds are having sex….being a virgin when your 17 is like…. unbelievable. (to some)
…. yeah. *Shrug* I think we baby people way too much these days.
Since it was done legally, it is fine. The parents will hopefully adjust and accept. The statistics on marriages like this are grim. I wish them the very best.
I think you do need parental permission. Getting married is a big step not to mention being 17, married AND pregnant. With all that thrown together ..one definately needs family to help a long the way.
I can’t help but think she’s throwing her life away by marrying the guy. I’m sure the judge meant well, but I have to wonder what kind of daughter would forsake her parents like that. As for the parents forcing her to get an abortion, I think that’s BS! What parent would voluntarily put their daughter in that kind of emotional quandary?
Hell, I got married at 19 and that was too young, looking back. We’re going on 5 years this coming February but I wish we would have waited at least another year. Considering this girl’s situation I think she should be able to marry at 17. But not just any 17 year old should be able to. Too many young people enter marriage lightly. Hence why there is such a high divorce rate in this country.
In some states if the bride to be is underage but pregnant, she can get married.
Instead of aborting the child, she wanted to keep it. From the sound of the marriage, her husband will be there for the child (I don’t know anything more about the situation, but that’s what the marriage implies). They obeyed the law, and made their own decision for better or worse.
I personally can’t imagine getting married so young; I’m only eighteen myself, and there’s no way in hell I’m getting married any time soon. I applaud her, actually, for having the guts to stick up to her parents and make such a tough decision on her own.
@ShaeHeart - Such a shame.
@nov_way - It’s nothing to sneeze at.
I find this interesting. In my state if a child is pregnant, she is considered emancipated. Therefore if I go to see a pregnant 14 year old and need to get consent to treat her, I get her to sign the consent form. I have had the parent sign in the past, but by law that child, who is about to become a parent, can make her own decisions. The youngest I’ve had is 12. In some places that’s the norm. To me it was just eerie getting a young teen to sign her own consent form.
Now, having said that, it doesn’t mean I agree with it! I’m honestly not sure how I feel about this situation. It’s hard to say what’s really going on in this young woman’s family, but I don’t think they should be allowed to force an abortion on her. That doesn’t mean her parents wouldn’t coerce her into one. As far as getting married – it does still happen that teens get married and it turns out to be a good thing! Some of the people who are married for life started out as wedded teens. Some teenagers are a lot more mature than many adults. In this situation who am I to say?
Now, to an earlier comment on here about virginity – yes, to some being a virgin at 17 is unthinkable. I am very much an exception to the general rule. I decided at an early age to abstain from sex, and I stuck by it. It always seemed to me that if it was really that good, it could wait to be even better with one person. I wasn’t raised in a religious household – heck, we didn’t even go to church. I just realized that 1) having sex complicates a relationship, and who needs that when you’re young, 2) I sure as heck didn’t want to end up pregnant and have the father disappear, and 3) I was terrified of getting some crazy STD, and not everyone will admit to having one (or even know they have one). Not to mention the reputation that can be spread. The ONLY reason I post this is to encourage any young readers out there who may feel pressured into taking the dive before you’re ready. I didn’t get married until I was 30 – and YES, I waited until then. Not only did it not kill me, I’m married to a wonderful man (who also waited until marriage, so I’m not a total freak).
Stepping off of my soap box now.
@Kiwigummy - I’m sure the judge meant well, but I have to wonder what kind of daughter would forsake her parents like that.
I wish it were that way but all too often it is not. Mom kicked me out of the house when I was 16 because she was drunk…I was asleep when she turned on the overhead light and ripped the covers off me. I called my bf and he picked me up and moved me out within an hour. I went to live with him and his parents for a while. I tried again to move back home and again it happened. I was 17 and would turn 18 in a month. Dad said, “I’m not going to sign for you”…Ok dad but you are just postponing it for a month and causing bad feelings. He signed. I guess your next question would be how did the marriage turn out. Well it didn’t have a chance to turn out much of any way…he died in the military 7 months later but I still didn’t go home. I am also proud of the baby’s father. He did what we once called the “right thing”. That makes him sound like he is responsable and his parents sound like they will support the couple. Like you, I wish them the best…but this is to reassure you that sometimes a young man/woman may have reason to leave home.
@swinginislanddoc - and you are my hero @musterion99 - Yes it really is.
Getting married at 17? When I was 17, the last thing I wanted to do was homework. Besides homework, the last thing I wanted to do was get the ole ball ‘n chain (aka get married).
If she went so far as to go to court, she had her reasons for what she did. The judge could legally waive the parents’ rights in this case, according the article. I believe the judge did the right thing.
It’s interesting that when abortion meets parental rights, there are pro-lifers who will suddenly not care so much about abortion.
Yes. The law is the law.
California voters in 2008 determined that minors could get abortions without parental permission. (I think it’s already being done in most if not all states; I think the vote was to make it illegal, but it failed.) If a girl can have an murder her baby without parental permission, why can’t she get married without parental permission?
It really isn’t that difficult to keep it in your pants until AFTER you say “I do”.
I don’t think she should have been forced to have an abortion. I don’t think she should have had to get married, either. Clearly, she was not given all the options in such a situation.
Like, maybe, birth control?
I think that in a situation such as this one it should be allowed. It seems as if she wouldn’t be getting the support she needs at home.
Well, I think her reason was good, although I’m sure she could have just filed for emancipation from them so that they couldn’t force her to get an abortion.
This proves that instead of seeing development goes forward it goes backwards. This is not about personal freedom. Can you watch somebody trying to kill himself without doing anything?
Well, I would think that 17 IS old enough to decide. But I would think that they should have time to prepare instead. Because I am sorry to say but no marriages survive due the fact you have a child. I meant, if you got pregnant, oops, we HAVE to be married, never works. It won’t ever last.
Any time of the relationship, if marriage is based off children, it will never work. But if marriages are based off of friendships, love, honor, respect, support…. then yea, even if oops, you got pregnant. Besides, this 17 years old children were soon to become adult. Though it does make me wonder; couldn’t they just wait til they are once 18 to do it? It was only a “few months” as they said. Then there would be no hassle.
Again, the bride claims she was forced to make a choice; it could be a lie, just so to get the judge to marry them off.
Good for her tbh. In England it’s anyone younger than 16 has to get permission to be married.
@MasqueradeOfDreams - Err, no. You still need parental permission if you’re under eighteen and live in England and Wales. In Scotland, you don’t need permission so long as you’re both over 16.
@individually_surveys - Oh ok, I’ve heard it was 16. Fair enough.
if she wants to fuck up her life let her legally.
we already allow people to destroy their lives with cigarettes and alcohol and gambling, so let her get married.
@MasqueradeOfDreams - I think probably because a lot of sixteen year olds go to Gretna Green to get married, seeing as it’s just over the Scottish border!
well this is a hard subject. If she “moved” out her parents could report her as a runaway and bring her back home. She probably felt getting married was her only option bc marriage puts her as a emancipated without going through the law and fight to actually do so. She is close enough to 18 that either way she could make her decision. considering her birthday was a few months away she could have not told her parents she was pregnant and waited till she was 18. then they wouldn’t be forcing her to have an abortion. Also, considering it is fall, she have the baby bump and hoodies be covering it till she was 6 months or so…
So had a “few” options that weren’t great but i think the marriage one was the safest one in general. Not the brightest but safest one bc if her parents did find out then its possible she could have an abortion and i know a few people crazy enough that if their kids did get pregnant they be willing to push them down the stairs.
I have no problem with her willing to go above her parents to get married if its the last choice but then again it feels like she did this without weighing any of her options and it also feels like none of the parents sat down to discuss that their kids are having a kid either. if my kid got pregnant i would sure as hope i could meet the boys parents and discuss a suitable solution then just going for abortion or bitching at them for how irresponsible they were.
The judge was also inadequate bc he made a decision without bringing her parents in and having them testify their side of the story and to see what was actually going on to make it come this far.
but considering that the mother and father of the baby in question is married, i do hope things get better for them.
Well, to be honest with you, it has went this far with what was going on…where was she living during the pregnancy so far? First of all, why was it necessary that she be married at this time? Just like getting a divorce, a woman must wait until she has had the child before she can divorce her spouse no matter how long the separation. I think a woman should not marry during a pregnancy. She is physically and mentally not in a position to make such life long decisions. If she wants to marry one day after the birth that is one thing but what truly would be the hurry if she waited for it? If she was to have to abort the baby then she obviously was not living at home so was safe from that threat. There are so many issues, it would have been hard to truly make a decision…based strictly on this “abortion” threat.
Judges have power over life and death. So what’s the problem with judging in favor of a couple of rutting teens.
I really could care less…
its not my child, its not me…
so why should I care?
Her mistake…let her make it, she will grow stronger hopefully for it.
I don’t understand why this is controversial. She’s almost 18. She wants to keep her baby & her parents want to coerce her into having an abortion. (Where are the pro-lifers on this one?) Marrying her boyfriend will get her away from the kind of parents who would make her feel pressure to have an abortion, and will allow her a support system (his family) for herself & her child. I really see no issue here.
In Ohio, the law is that you must have parental consent to get married under 18, or to have an abortion under 18. In both cases, a judge can sign off on the matter, acting as a guardian ad litem or emancipating the child, if a minor is fearful (and can prove with witnesses, usually) of abuse as a consequence of teen pregnancy. (YES! Coercing your child into having an abortion is mentally & emotionally abusive!)
*smh*
I say good for the judge & good for the girl. As to whether the marriage lasts? My grandparents had a shotgun wedding 43 years ago. The were madly in love for the rest of my grandmother’s life. It happens. And, even if her marriage doesn’t last, she will have her child & will know that she did everything she could/had to do to protect that child’s life. Besides, at least half of marriages end in divorce. Maybe no one should get married because the statistics say you’re likely to get a divorce.
@musterion99 - you’re surprised? most statistics show that about 70% of adolescents have had sex by the time they reach 18
She’s seventeen, not twelve. Jesus.
Technically, she is underaged. But the judge is an adult and should decide what is best for the child.
Why is it legal for parents to force a 17 year old girl to get an abortion?
I’m pro choice, and I mean it when I say CHOICE. It’s her body and she’s old enough to understand. If she doesn’t want an abortion, no doctor with a conscience should perform one on her.
Depends on how hot she is.
Some states (Georgia is the one that I know of off hand) allow people under 18 to marry without parental consent. What’s the difference between them running off to Georgia or the judge just marrying them there??
In situation, I’m for the need of parent’s consent.
@ShaeHeart - I hope you found the words encouraging! Best of luck to you!
@Hinase - is getting a divorce later worse than aborting a child? yes a lot of people that have divorced parents resent that, but if her parents are going to force her into an abortion, then I would choose to get married and get out of the house rather than abort someone who had nothing to do with the situation and have no control. A mother has to make the choices that are best for the child, and even if she gets married and gives the baby up for adoption, at least she’s making the choice to allow the child to live.
@xthread - Are you serious!? What’s going on here?
@musterion99 - I think I got the numbers wrong because it had been awhile since I last viewed the material, but I was close. Here are some facts:
- Facts on American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health
- U.S. Teen Sexual Activity Fact Sheet (pdf)
@xthread - Ah, that sounds more accurate.
@musterion99 - What I was remembering was this: “By age 18, 70 percent of U.S. females and 62 percent of U.S. males have initiated vaginal sex” (Mosher WD, 2002; emphasis added).
@xthread - Thanks for the info.
@iCaitlin - I’m pro-choice so I can’t comment on that. It’s really her choice. Actually my parents divorce was bad on me. (and my mother had me at 17 and got married, and they are still both bitter to each other even though they are divorced) Made me wish I wasn’t born and that my parents should of never kept me. It put me through unnecessary pain.
She doesn’t have to get married. She could just go live with her boyfriend or gone to live with her friends if her parents were forcing that. Though she’s probably going to be unhappy because of this decision. I hardly know anyone that married because of children being happy in their marriage. That’s never a good reason. Especially the parents being so young..
i think it needs to always be considered on a case by case basis.
The parents wanted to coerce her into getting an abortion. It probably wasn’t healthy for her to live with them while pregnant if they were pressuring her. Even if they couldn’t force her to get the abortion, they definitely could have made her living environment unhealthy for a pregnancy and it doesn’t seem like they would’ve had issues doing so.
Obviously they wouldn’t give her consent to get married or to be emancipated in another way so she would’ve needed the judge to be able to legally move out of their house without them being able to have the police make her move back in with them (I’ve seen the police for someone come back to a house after running away before). The judge knew what he was doing and obviously had the law behind him giving him the power to do so. It’s not like she ran off and faked her age so she could be married without consent or a judge’s ruling. Now that would make sense as a post. Yes they need consent unless they are in extenuating circumstances like these. Then a judge can decide if he/she needs to step in and become the legal guardian basically and give the consent in states that allow them to do so. You do realize many states would just allow the pregnancy to emancipate her? She wouldn’t have even needed the judge.
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Here in FL, pregnancy is one of the ways minors can legally avoid needing parental consent to marry. I think if any kid decides they think they’re mature enough to have a kid, may as well let ‘em get married while they’re at it. It may not be the best idea, but I can see why it could be allowed under the circumstances.
@Hinase - I’m pro-choice as well. But it would be my choice, not to get married, and keep the child. But because she is 17 she could be forced to come back home and get an abortion unless she was married. Or at least that’s how it is where I live. I do feel she made the decision she felt was needed to keep the child she wanted to keep alive. I believe it was her own choice, and I know plenty of people who have been married at a young age with kids and they worked out find, not without work though. Yes it is stupid for getting married for that reason, but you don’t know the story. Neither do I. But there is a possibility that she did want to get married, and just happened to be pregnant, and that unless she moved out and got married she would have had to give that up.
Heck no. She has a right to her body and if that means she wants to keep the baby and marry a man thats her right. I found out on my 19th birthday I was pregnant and I was married 4 months later. yes,I was a teenage mom and wife and I turned out fine. Silly Laws if you ask me.
Under the law, judge’s have discretion. That is why we elect them or they are appointed.
Do I think the judge was wrong? No.
I agree with the person who asked why 17 year olds are having sex…but considering these kids already were pregnant it was a little too late for that lesson. They obviously didn’t get it or pay attention when the time was right.
I think the fact that the girl was in an unsafe home environment was probably a huge determining factor on the part of the judge.
Seventeen year-olds are allowed to have kids without their parents’ consent, aren’t they? What’s the big deal about tying a knot that most thirty year-olds sever anyway, especially if she would be forced to abort otherwise? Obviously the judge believed someone could force her to have an abortion or the judge wouldn’t have granted the marriage.
@Kiwigummy - My ex’s parents. Worse yet, when she was pregnant, she was 20, not 17.
I think minors can be emancipated at that age for a lot of reasons. Being forced to have an abortion is, at least, a child-welfare concern. It seems, though, that those should not have been her only choices.
Yes.
Like a lot of other people, I agree that it was ‘okay’ in this situation if the girl believed this was the only way to save her child; something that she felt she needed to do. This is involving another life. Kind of a ‘in defense’ thing.
If 17 year olds just want to get married for the hell of it, then yes.. the current age limit needs to stay in place. If it is said that teens can marry at 17 without parental/guardian consent, then the argument will soon turn to “Don’t you think that 16 year olds should be able to get married without parental consent”.
Yes. Otherwise, why make the adult age 18?
@iCaitlin - Maybe. But I’m only drawing up conclusions from the information that is given to me. That’s really all I can do. I’m never going to know this girl. But I do know a lot people’s marriages falling apart because they got married when they got pregnant. It happens more than not that it doesn’t work out especially if you’re young like this. Maybe so it would of happened but I feel like she didn’t have to stay at her parents. There are always alternatives to these kinds of situations. She chose this one.I rather not bring a child into this world, knowing I can’t provide for it. It makes the children and parents miserable. If this is what she wanted to do..she did this, so she has to live with this, for whatever reasons she is doing this for. I don’t care. It doesn’t affect me one way or the other.With that, I’m done with this conversation =)
@musterion99 - If you were serious in your question, you’re going to be veeeeeeery disappointed.
I became pregnant at 19, and was married shortly after. My marriage was not a happy one. He was abusive and it ended badly. The only good thing? My daughter. I reflect on my 17 year old self and know that I 17 I was no where near ready for that kind of commitment. I do not believe that any one should do as I did and marry simply because they have a child together. So I do believe that parental consent should be needed until they are ADULTS. In this country being an adult means being 18, however I know some 18 year olds that are no where near ready to be married. Others may be ready, but not all. I hope that this girl’s relationship works out, but most times they do not. I also believe that her parents should be ashamed at their behavior.
i mean… to each their own, i guess…
i don’t know the whole story of their lives or anything so it’s not my place to say.
@Just_For_Shits_And_Giggles - I know. It’s extremely disappointing.
As long as the parents don’t have to help pay for the child, then absolutely. She wants to keep the baby, let her make her own mistakes.
Oh well, she’ll end up like most marriages/teen mothers now a days anyways. Broke, miserable, angry, but trying the best she can. It is unfortunate she felt that this was her best hope when she’s really setting herself up for disaster.
Best wishes to her though.
@Name_Isnt_Rio - is the word emancipation??
@Kiwigummy - the kind of daughter who wants to be a mother and doesnt want her unborn child murdered without her consent. if she wants that baby, she has a right to have him/her. it’s her body and that baby’s body who will suffer should she have one, therefore it should be her decision.
fuck her parents, for doing that to her.
@starving4hope - Yes, lol it is.
um it’s like that in alot of states, especially the south. I didn’t need permission from my parents and you usually don’t if you are preggggg, but I don’t think there’s a reason to get married so young unless one is joining the military or for citizenship.
I don’t think it really matters because frankly the chances of that marriage working out because it’s based on a child only, is very slim. Then again, she getting pregnant at that age and not being more careful, her life is already ruined. Why not add a “divorce” stigma (I really don’t get why being divorced has a stigma but the fact remains that it does) to it for the future?
@Eternalimplosion - Indeed again you’ve taken my exact thinking… lol great minds and such
I think it depends on the maturity of the person, but in this case, I agree with the judge.
@rddj623 - Woah, get out of my brain!!
Haha, jk. When else have we shared the same opinion??
@musterion99 - Better question: Why are they having UNPROTECTED sex?
@Nicole - It’s not a better question but a good one.
@musterion99 - y not, theres nothing the law can do. lol if its legal and feels good then just do it lol
@ShaeHeart - Yea that’s what I was gonna say. It’s even more like 14 these days.
@XXskinnymetalXX -lol if its legal and feels good then just do it lol
Cheating on your spouse is legal.
Could be the girl was seeking understanding, attention and/or affection that was missing at home as most likely, it didn’t all begin with the conception. I give her credit for not wanting an abortion on her conscience for the rest of her life. I also hope they have a good marriage, healthy children and are even more in love when their grandchildren start arriving.
@Eternalimplosion - I can’t recall off the top of my head but it was about something Dan posted a few weeks ago.
@rddj623 - we are officially awesome. =]
Honestly, yes. I think that’s way too young to be getting married. 17 year olds haven’t matured enough yet.
I think she should learn how a fucking condom works.