I know there are all kinds of surveys going on around xanga. I received this message a few minutes ago:
Hey, Dan.
I have a possible topic for a future post for you, if you don’t mind. So, I had an interesting convo with the bf today. I happened to order a *ahem* “toy” call the “Rabbit” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_vibrator) out of curiosity on why so many women seem to like “playing” with them. This is my first time dealing with an adult toy. The bf expressed discontent and a bit disgust in the idea. Said I’m learning all the “bad things.” I am really curious on what all the guys’ views are regarding women using sex toys (i.e., dildos & vibrators). Do they mind women using it? Also, do they find it unappealing or the opposite? I want to also ask the ladies on how many actually have one or would be keen on the idea of having/using one.
Guys, do you mind if your woman uses a vibrator?
Ladies, do you have a vibrator or have you ever used one?
Guys, do you mind if your woman uses a vibrator?Ladies, do you have a vibrator or have you ever used one?
Comments (60)
Vibrator is my Gigolo name.
I have so many vibrators.
I had one…
got rid of it…
biggest mistake ever.
And, who cares if he’s okay with it? It’s your choice, girl. Go for it! Have fun!
I think that’s a hare not a rabbit.
And who cares if a guy minds?
OMG…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
See how I didn’t answer the right question LOL? <3
I have had a few. I had an ex that wouldn’t let me get one “bigger” than he was.. needless to say, I couldn’t find one small enough..
Do rabbits use vibrators?
I had one until it stopped working. I miss that thing. I haven’t replaced it because my husband feels that if I have a vibrator it means that he isn’t adequate enough, even though I’ve said it isn’t true. So, since he is uncomfortable with it, I am vibratorless.
I have lots
As long as she doesn’t prefer it over the real thing, it’s not a big deal. If she were to let me watch her use a cute pink one that would be very sexy. TMI?
I think that if a guy demands his woman not use toys then he should be expected to give up porn.
I was gonna suggest a similar topic: girlfriend who used dog for sex–
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/29/brittany-angelique-sonnier_n_2212694.html
Idea for TheTheologiansCafe: What about having a dedicated entry for topic suggestions for the site?
@LSP1 – If they did I wonder what they would call it … a man, guy or the dude?
@leaflesstree - Exactly!
To answer the question, no, I’ve never had a vibrator, mainly because they’re expensive. I don’t have anything against them, though.
If he’s not comfortable with it, maybe have him use it while you guys are together. Then, he’ll get a feel for it. I had an ex who was super against them, thought it was because he wasn’t adequate, and said it was like ‘cheating’. I made him use it on me one time and he thought it was awesome afterwards and never said anything bad about it again.
Never had a problem with two of my exes that actually used them. I was cool with it.
I have several.
I have a couple, plus other toys. Theyre awesome for when im single (not into permiscous sex anymore lol) and they are good fun to use with a bf
your bf sounds controlling and jealous. Do what you want to do 
Ok, going to throw my voice in here- (rare but it happens, so give me a break)
We have a couple modest vibrators- one for travel, one for home.
My view is that my wife deserves as much (if not more) than I do to be pleased and pleasured. The most common complaint that I’ve head about sex is that it’s a lot harder, on the whole, for women to achive oragasm than men. Knowing this, we tentatively stepped into the dildo/vibrator/misc other sex toy arena after a bunch of research.
Frankly, and bluntly, if my wife isn’t being pleasured, for one reason or another, that’s as much my problem as hers. I adore her, I love her, and I want to see her pleased. It takes a lot of effort to consistently make love in an amazing way, that pleasures her. I love spending the time to cuddle, to kiss and… you get the idea. The problem is, when there’s a lot of emotional stuff going on in the course of the day that’s making it hard for us to get our minds in the game, or one of us doesn’t feel up to spending 45-1hr on sex, or a million other reasons you might not want to have sex, a toy of some kind is a godsend- we NEED that kind of release, all of us.
Both sex and lovemaking are for BOTH of you- you should both enjoy it. If she’s not, get over yourself and get her something yourself. You’ll be happy you did.
Two awesome places to shop for toys are amazon and http://melroseurbanfemale.com/
^ Hawt…
The rabbit is gooooood. I’ve had boyfriends enjoy the fact that I own sexy toys.
1) No comment as I am underage ,blah blah blah
and 2) Men have two heads and not enough blood to work both at the same time, so they work one and are out of their minds otherwise so..who cares?
I have 2. Every guy thinks its awesome
I have a “cheap” vibrator. My husband bought it for me for my 19th birthday, so obviously he’s okay with me using it. I have 24 ‘free’ hours per week where he’s working so it’s not like I’m ever choosing it over him or anything.
@Celestial_Teapot - LOL OMG THEY GOT MY NAME WRONG
No, I don’t have a vibrator. That’s why I troll so much.
He sounds insecure of himself. I think they’re great. It’s good for women to enjoy pleasing themselves, it also helps you learn your own body better. And if you end up not liking it then you dont like it, no big deal. Basically I’m pro toys, and if you like/want one the guy should learn to get over himself and realize it has nothing to do with him.
If my boyfriend wasn’t cool with toys, we wouldn’t be together. He has routinely tripped over my dildos in the past. They’re all stuffed in a couple drawers by my bed now since I haven’t really been using them lately. The rabbit is hype in my opinion. It’s a decent idea but there are better ways to achieve what it’s trying to do.
Hell yea I have many, my fav being the double sided one I got for my bday a couple years back, from my GF. LOL Have used it often. The strap on is fun too. Wait, is this just about toys to use by ourselves? Well, not that I’m against it, neither is my husband, but I need sex often. Toys are always ready, I don’t give a fuck what this ruler of masons thinks. Toys fucking ROCK!!!
But I’m married so yes, I enjoy the real thing just as much. I know that wasn’t the question but WTH.
@ShimmerBodyCream - uhhh hmmmm, no vib eh? I would imagine you would dear, just to give yourself pleasure. We all need pleasure in our lives dear. Fingers work too, don’t get me wrong, just am thinking out loud and for some reason I feel you would be kewl with that.
Shoot, I’d love to use one on my wife. I think it would be hot to do so.
i don’t care for the rabbit. i actually bought one when i was around 17 its jumble sized idk if it all comes in 8 and half inch and this thick. i lost that one shortly after. couple month ago i got the butterfly and it was 10 bucks a tenth the price of a rabbit and it was great. who knows. maybe i didn’t know how to use the rabbit then
I amassed quite a collection years ago, but I got rid of it because I became desensitized down there. (Very briefly, thank god!) It scared me not feeling anything for the time being. I’m thinking of starting once again, and this time, not concentrating in a particular area.
@ShimmerBodyCream - Christmas is coming up. All I need is a mailing address! =P
I am 31 years old a recently got my first one but it was kinda a embaresing moment my mom and me and my stepdad went to my favorite store in the mall and mom gose to the viberators i thought she was just looking at them but no she said witch one do you want i icnored her then she comes over with one omg there was only guys working at the store was i so embaressed.So i have one and i use it not as much i like the real deal not a toy.some people like them and some dont.And I dont like them at all.
@Megabyyte - Get another one =]
He needs to get over it. You’re in charge of your sex life, not him. If he feels threatened by a fake penis, that’s something he’s going to have to work through, not force you to conform.
‘We’ have one. I say it that way because we picked it out together. lol. Its enjoyable for both of us.
My boyfriend is very open to exploring what toys can bring to the bedroom! We haven’t gone through the list yet but we plan on it… we’ve talked about some things we’d BOTH like to try
There’s toys out there that can pleasure the both of you simultaniously! Maybe try incorperating those types of toys before using the rabbit, which is just for you. Save the rabbit for now, for when he’s at work and you just can’t wait until he gets home 
Vibrator, peanut butter trick, whatever floats their butt.
My boyfriend believes that if I need to use a vibrator, than he isn’t doing his job right.
That’s very untrue. A guy just isn’t capable of penetrating both holes and vibrating.
I have three vibrators: a double penetration one, a smaller, water-proof one,
and one just for clitoral stimulation that’s designed to look like a tube of lipstick,
in case I need to “play” on the go. It’s also nice to use simultaneously with sex.
Point is, I don’t care if he likes it or not. I like them, so I use them.
Hope this wasn’t too forward for anyone
@one_thousand_to_1 - Nicely said and well expressed, more so to the fact that you keep your comments to rare occasions
@EccentricSiren - Expensive?? Where are you shopping? But mum’s the word if I use or not. I am not allowed to say that I attend a weekly Vib-a non group. Whoops! I think I have said too much already.
Ain’t nothing wrong with using a toy for pleasure. I thought most guys would dig it? I think your friend’s S/O must come from a Conservative/religious background.
As private as I am, to me, if someone asks a question and you have something to add, why not give them an honest answer.
) and txt messages and start communicating. Its through sharing (in our years before marriage) we openly spoke on the subject of fantasies, reading/watching porn and the use of devices/vibrators that gave me the understanding I have today. Of course I had my reservations to begin with but as the years progressed I became open to learning. 
and a little 
that I had taken such a step and it worked 
. What an investment it was. Our marriage certainly increased in value and performance. The investment opened new doors of communication, added a touch of increased sexual desire to please the other, its exciting and stimulating to the senses to perform without the need to actually going there (living your fantasy for real). 
The choice remains yours 
I thought I was old school… but we are now in the 21st century. Put away the mobile phone (unless its used on vibrate
Mastabations great, with or without a partner and hadnt given thought to a vibrator for some years after we married. We enjoyed our reading (porn hubby aquired) but I felt I was ready for something new. I eventually invested and bought home a vibrator, presented it to my husband, gee was he full of mixed emotion
Dont knock it till you’ve tried it, I say!
I like the MAGIC WAND the best. It has two speeds. Next to husband, it’s purrrrfect!
I have one but I rarely use it. I prefer him anyways
But, no, he doesn’t mind. Just like I don’t mind when he satisfies himself. (Not with my vibrator of course.. then.. I’d mind >_>)
i have one and i adore it and its really your choice as to getting one or not its literally “your pleasure” not his ^_^
I was the one that introduced them in to my last relationship. I just wanted to spice things up. It was just another part of the repertoire, so to speak. Toys were not the only thing to spice things up, but they didn’t hurt. That said, I have no issue with them, not threatened by them.
I have had one since I was in an LDR three years ago! Every guy I’ve been with doesn’t care at all.
My husband and I weren’t always thrilled about it as a couple, but a couple years ago we got interested and found that it enhanced our experiences so much. Especially with getting older, and things getting a bit more challenging. It’s been a struggle to find the perfect one that will work with all our favorite positions, but we continue to search. I don’t usually use them on my own, as I desire what I get with him and it both I want to save myself lol. But I have occasionally when there was a strong need and it’s not a problem.
You a stupid hoe.
My husband and I went to a local sex shop together a few weeks ago after having a big fight over whether or not I’m getting enough pleasure from sex. He is very traditional and doesn’t like to try new things as often as I would like for him to, so I complained to him about this and asked if we could change it up. We all know how these kinds of arguments go but in the end, he brought up the idea of going to the sex shop together to look around. I had suggested maybe ordering some stuff online but he wanted to go right then in person. So we did! We were afraid it was going to be awkward but it really wasn’t…at all. You might think it’d be awkward to stand around in front of a giant wall of dildos while others are standing around with you. Because you know everyone is there for the same thing, there is no sense in trying to hide what you are there for. You just have to get over any shame you might be feeling and genuinely look for something that will make both you and your partner more happy in the bedroom. We looked around for a while…found some stuff we liked…and bought it. We asked questions and the employers were actually EXTREMELY helpful! Not embarrassing at all, either! It kind of felt nice to be so open with a complete stranger! We bought a pink rabbit (along with some massage oils, flavored lube, and cock rings.) The rabbit we bought (by the way, it was about 100 bucks but we got a 20% discount because we are miitary. Yippee! First time getting a large discount for being military! The checkout lady said something like “I think the people serving our country deserve to have great sex lives…for less! LOL) has rotating beads, a rotating head, a “waving” shaft, and different vibration settings. It is quite amazing, I must say. My husband enjoys using it on me and expresses no jealousy towards it whatsoever because he knows his penis can’t vibrate and rotate. Sorry, guys. =] I don’t prefer it over my husband because I do prefer the full penetration and thrusting that only my husband can give me. Regarding size, the size of the rabbit is actually about the same size as my husband’s penis. It’s not unrealistically big at all, either, I don’t think. Anyway, the rabbit has helped out a lot along with the other things we bought. Sometimes it takes more than just two bodies to have a great sex life…and we are both fine with that! Everyone else should be as well! =]
We also have a pet rabbit. Kind of awkward to think about sometimes hahaha.
I have a vibrator. As currently I don’t have a regular partner, it’s the next best thing. Granted, I know how to get myself off without a vibrator. I think that all women need to explore how to get themselves to orgasm. But will all women do that?? Probably not. And not a lot of guys know how to get a girl off. I’m sure it’s kind of scary and/or overwhelming (or whatever have you) to try to experiment when it comes to sexuality and orgasms.
So, if a vibrator helps take the stigma away and helps the couple/person explore their sexuality, it should be explored. I’d rather have a guy use the vibrator and try to help me get off (and try to learn) than the guy tell me that I can’t use one for whatever reason. Sex isn’t just one sided and not just for guys.
And for the record, the Rabbit vibrator is $100 (or at least, the last time I checked about 5 years ago). There are cheaper vibrators that do just about the same thing.
Dump that asshole.
I think every girl needs at least one! I have several hahah. And although currently single, I think any guy I date would have to just deal with the fact that I have and use it. It’s not like I could tell him he can’t watch porn if he wanted to.
Yep. you should see the collection of vibrators and sex toys. He doesn’t have an issue but that’s probably because I always feel the need to share them with him
It’s certainly healthy to use a vibrator and like many have already commented, have him use it on you to get him used to it. It’s really a normal, healthy thing to have a vibrator. It’s so much harder for women to achieve any kind of orgasm and it’s certainly fair game. If he’s so jealous, explain to him how hard it is to have that release. He should want to please you and you should want to please him. If this pleases you, he shouldn’t be upset about it. If you start using it more than you’re having sex with him, then there might be an issue with your sex life. But until then, have fun exploring!
I have one but it’s old. My boyfriend doesn’t mind at all. Actually he thinks it’s kinda hot.
I’m ok with it if we play with them together. Solo play is just masturbation and is outside the marriage covenant. I’m sure my wife wouldn’t like me to watch porn and “fap” any more than I’d like her to ride the rabbit without me.