April 23, 2013
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Mom Refuses to Give Kidney
I know this guy who is about to give up his kidney for his friend.
He told me his friend needed the kidney and his mom was a match. After finding out she was a match, the mother refused to give her kidney for her adult son. I must admit I immediately thought she was a horrible mom.
Do you think she is a horrible mom for refusing to give her son her kidney?
Comments (59)
A match is not the only criterion — how healthy, how old, how good are the mom’s kidneys? What is the relationship? Other than a kidney, what is the prognosis for the son? etc ~ ~ ~
Yes, absolutely fucking horrible. Shit, I’d give my kidney to relatives I don’t even like. What the fuck is her problem? Someone should stuff her vagina with hot coals. What an unfit mother.
Seems like yer reaching fer peoples heartstrings with limited information on this one. You starting yer own news channel?
@ShimmerBodyCream - marry me.
No right answer here. On the surface and no issues like Janet brought up, I say a parent should do this for a child.
MathematicalBagpiper (now secretbeerreporter) refused to donate to his dying dad. For this and for repeatedly fucking over the Xanga community, to me, he is the sole irredeemable motherfucker on Xanga.
I’d say yes. Because they would have checked the healthiness of her kidney to make sure it would be compatible as well as with everything else. So yeah she’s a total bitch. A mother should always be willing to give up her life or a part of herself for her child. Especially since her son did not decide to be born, she did which makes her responsible. I would give my heart for my child if I had too. I don’t care if I’d die.
My FIL’s brother is healthy and a match and meets criteria to undergo transplant for my FIL. However, my FIL’s brother said, “no”. I don’t know why. I can’t fathom a brother not helping a brother, let alone a mother not helping their child.
Don’t know enough about the situation. If she went out of her way to prove she was a match with the intention of not going through with it, then I’d have to say it was incredibly cruel. If she got scared about giving up a kidney…well…I can’t blame her too much. I can understand people being upset with her. I probably would be too. But I’m not convinced she’s morally obligated to give it up. It’s a sad story though.
assuming she was healthy enough to donate her kidney, I would have to agree with you. What a fucking horrible mother. I would give my life for my children. So a kidney would be no big deal to me.
I would need a whole lot more information. Has she had an adverse reaction to anesthesia? Does she have a medical condition that makes surgery risky? Has her son mistreated her? Does she suffer from some form of dementia? Does she have religious beliefs that would prohibit this procedure? Is she caring for an ailing spouse? Being a horrible parent is just one of many possible reasons to refuse to donate a kidney.
I wouldn’t expect anyone to give me the gift of life at their expense. But maybe I’m just crazy.
Definitely think more information is needed about the mother before a judgement can be made. Sometimes there is far more to a situation than meets the eye. What more is there to be known about the son? What more is there to know about the mother? Is there more information that makes it sense logical for her to refuse. Are we only touching the surface of what has/is taking place.
Depends why the guy needs a kidney in the first place.
@Celestial_Teapot - And that’s actually the least hateable thing about him.
Not enough info like other people have said.
well we dont know the whole story, what if the kidney of the adult son was damaged because of excessive drinking habit? and she had reminded him and scolded him over the years and he does not listen? im sure she has her reasons. plus, who’d want an older kidney? or to take your mother’s kidney, even if there was a match i wouldnt take my mom’s kidney, she needs it more than i. the older the person, the more wear and tear on the body and it’ll be hard for her to live.
I’m not sure if my mother would give me her kidney. I remember her stealing my nose quite frequently when I was a baby, so who really knows what that saucy duffer would do.
does both of the mother’s kidneys work properly? why did he need a kidney? etc etc…more questions than answers.
Need more information before I could say. As for myself, I’d give any of my kids a kidney.
As a kidney transplant patient, I find that obsurd! My mother never had to test because I had a living donor waiting but she absolutely would have. Any mother that I know (that really acts like a mother) would give their life for their children. I would do that for my GRANDchildren. That’s just disgusting to me…
Well being there was no link included and even if there was, we don’t know the full story. We’re just able to comment with our gut reaction as I’ve seen here, whether it be sad, glad, mad or anything in between. That is human nature . . . to react without knowing the full story. Not that all of us have, which is a sign of something bigger. I would have to agree with @slmret - @firetyger - @korean_biyatch - @mrqtran - @Shadowrunner81 - @something_in_progress - @saintvi - @Kevin_is_a_pirate - They all seem to have not “jumped the gun” here.
SO, WHAT WILL BE YOUR NEWS CHANNEL NAME . . . D.A.N. Network? lol
Seeing as the general expectation is that you will die prior to your children, I’ve gotta figure that if you can do something to help them even at the cost of part of your life, you should. Unless of course, due to that same factor, you were unfit to do so.
My mother’s cousin gave his kidney for his father… so yeah. She probably sucks. He only lived a few years after it anyway.
I’m sure there’s more to this story….
@amateurprose - That was an insanely adorable comment. Kudos!
If she’s in good physical condition and there’s nothing medically stopping her from giving the kidney, yes. I would give up a kidney to any of my family members. It’s not worth the chance of watching them die if I don’t.
She could be so terrified of anykind of precedure that she may not be able to. Or else her relatinship with her son is so bad that there may not be any connection. However, it is sad to say the least.
peace
mark
No.
She is not a mom, she is nothing more than an incubator/egg donor. Not knowing the whole story though, that could be a bit harsh I guess.
not knowing the circumstances, I can’t say one way or the other. all I know is that I would lay down and die for my daughter if it would help keep her alive for even a little while longer.
@jersey_jenn - Mother is the word for God for children…..from the Crow movie.
Peace
mark
Well not a bad person but maybe not the best choice as a mom. IDK who knows what’s going on. I just know I would give my damn heart for my son if he needed it… If I didn’t have kid’s or a responsibility to anyone else… I’d probably give my heart to a stranger.
One of the managers in my compant got a kidney about a year ago. And today he is very weak awnd is having health problems related to the transpkant. So these operations are not a sure thing..
I don’t know what to think of this woman who calls herself a mother. Because a mother gives of herself to her children. Even if this operation is not a 100% garantee of success, most mothers would give their kidney to save the life of their children
i wouldent give my mom mine because i got a bad one and one good one and i think you need two kidneys in order to function and if she is in good condition why not give her son the kidney if she dont then something maybe wrong with hers and she dont want the son to know
Oh man, I can’t judge her. Mothers and sons (and fathers and daughters and people in general) sometimes have histories, there might be paralyzing fear involved, any number of things could have prompted her decision.
I would say yes but it depends on if her son was a tottal jerk nad if ruined his own kidney by doing a lot of drugs or something stupid like that.
While I would totally give a kidney (or any other organ) to one of my children, I don’t expect everybody else to hold their children in such high regard. I mean, MY kids are amazing. What if this guy is the worst son ever? What if he keeps selling her TV for drugs and she has to buy it back every week? Maybe his kidney failed because he’s been a life-long substance abuser? Or maybe the mom is really just a big meanie. Who knows? Family dynamics can be difficult to sort out.
A kidney is not something like giving some blood that will leave you completely unharmed. By donating a kidney, you are severely crippling your own health. This is generally not a good idea, but if YOU REALLY WANT TO give your kidney, the sick person’s chances and general health and yours and all the other factiors should be taken into account. I would never hold it against another person to not value another person’s life as worth more than theirs, and in this case, I don’t think inaction is condemnation but action is very risky and something they would need to want to do (not be expected to or bullied into).
If that makes sense. .. But what do I know.
Also, getting pregnant and entering motherhood does not demote you to a slave to your unborn foetus from day 1. I’m sure she’s a loving mother but she is still a human being with needs, rights, opinions, and values. Even if she is in perfect health with THREE exemplary kidneys, you can’t expect her to live her life to the beat of every whim and misfortune of her offspring.
No I would not condemn her for not giving her kidney.
what happen to freedom of choice?
if I needed to right today I would give my kidney to either of my sons.
I think it depends on a lot of things, but one question I’m pondering is, “How is their relationship with each other?” It may possibly explain why she refused.
I just want to point out that we don’t know why mom is saying no.
Depends on how horrible the son is.
If she has two healthy kidneys, and no obvious problems that would preclude her from giving a kidney… then, yes, I do.
Need more information. I was a match for my cousin who is, or was, a herion addict and drunk-why waste a kidney on someone who doesn”t care enough-or who didn”t care enough about his life to get clean and sober.
Depends… Is he one of the Boston bombers?
I’m unclear about how I feel on this, though I’d be interested to hear opinions from both sides.
@Grannys_Place - Agreed, Granny!
@WaitingToShrug - (: Somehow I knew what your answer would be from the start.
I agree we don’t have enoujgh information, but the first thought is she is very selfish. I have seen stories in which an organ was donated to a person by a total stranger. One has to keep this in mind, though. A healthy person only has two kidneys. Once you donate one to someone else, your own life is in grave danger should your remaining kidney fail, so you are absolutely putting your life on the line by donating.
i was raised to believe that once a kid grows up, the parents owe them absolutely nothing.
@amateurprose – haha! I love it.
@Facetiouseloquence - Now how on earth would you know? ;D
@ShimmerBodyCream - LOL
@MomWithoutaMinivan - SO WOULD I. I MAY HAVE FAILED AS A FATHER BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER IS A LESBIAN. HOWEVER I STILL LOVE HER AND HER LITTLE CARPET EATER “PARTNER” AND I WOULD DO IT FOR THEM. I WOULD DO IT. YOU CAN BE A SHITTY DAD AND STILL BE LOVED BY YOUR CHILDREN FOR DOING SMALL SHIT LIKE THIS.
@firetyger - ME TOO
@bleu_jumper - FATHERS TOO
@Quakeplayer - Indeed, if the father acts like a “daddy”. My father was a POS… and wouldn’t even show up. Still obsurd to me. I guess that’s why I took this one to heart so.
@mrqtran - Yes, that is absolutely true!!!
I’d be with Shimmer and the whole “Stuff her vaj with hot coals” crowd if this was a mother refusing her child- or even her innocent adult son- a kidney transplant.
However there is a distinct possibility here that her son may need a kidney because he was a drug abuser and/or an alcoholic. I married a drug abuser and let me tell you…. they ruin your life as well as their own. They drain your bank account and your friends’ bank accounts. They ruin your credit record, put your children in danger and do it AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. They refuse medical help, they repeat the same mistakes, they live in complete denial and they lie with complete shamelessness.
If this is the case with her son, and it may well be because why else would a mother refuse a kidney to her adult child…. I will stand with her against the whole “stuff her vagina with hot coals crowd” until her dying day. Why should she give someone a kidney when she knows he may very well go out drinking and doing drugs again as soon as he’s released from the hospital? That’s like giving half your life savings to someone with such lousy credit that he’s never paid back a loan in his entire life.
I say that, provided her son has a history of drug abuse and/or alcoholism, this woman is perfectly justified in keeping her kidney.
I would need more information.