May 3, 2013
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Man Haters of Xanga
Some women on xanga just hate men. They think the worse of them. I have read one lady’s posts on xanga and she always describes men in a negative light.
She will write post about men lurking at her or tends to think every man is a potential rapist. Based on her profile pic, I have a hard time thinking that men really give her that much thought.But even other “normal” women appear to be at least skeptical of men. They tend to view them as cheaters or unable to control their behavior. In general, they approach men as if they are not worthy of trust.Can a man be trusted?
Comments (62)
Trust no one.
Trust is earned, man or woman. Regardless of who is more UNdeserving, both men and woman have shared in the blame.
I do believe that men should take the lead in RESTORING mutual trust. That means learning what it means to be a MAN of CHARACTER, of NOBILITY, of SELFLESSNESS, and of SACRIFICE…and then teaching the next generation of men to do the same, and so on.
The last 3 decades of MY life have shown a RAPID decline in genuine manhood being lived out…to the point that most people today think that’s such a subjective idea. Trust me, it’s not. It’s just RARE, sadly.
Understandably, many women have thus taken up the notion that men ARE bad, period. I don’t blame all of them. Many men have EARNED such a rep. But not all. At the same time, many women have taken this “evil men” idea SO MUCH TO HEART, that they NEVER give any man a chance to prove himself. They even teach the next generation that men are worthless……and yet we still see many women holding men responsible for not being men but also denying them the respect and the opportunities to LIVE OUT what women expect (and rightly so, depending on the expectation) from men in the first place.
So I hold both men and women responsible here. Trust is earned, as I said. No one is exempt.
It’s been women who have caused me the most grief over the years.
Trust but verify. I love men in general, but a girl needs to be a fool to trust them when the subject involves sex. On that subject trust must be earned.
From what I seen men are less likely to lie than woman are. Just not if a lie might get them into your pants
@saintvi - Agreed.
I conferred with the sages on youtube and this is what they say. I was very confused. Then I asked the magic 8-ball and it was being a douche and told me it couldn’t make a prediction. So I googled it, and came up with this. A damn tooth? Seriously? No, you can’t trust men at all.
Depends on what you mean by trust. I trust men 100x more when it comes to giving me advice or keeping secrets or supporting me. But obviously I’m unlikely to be physically or sexually assaulted by a woman.
I do believe most of the stereotypes for my generations male population however. ALL of my friends are male, early to mid 20′s. They don’t date, they only fuck women. They treat women like shit in general, compare notes and laugh about all of it. I see it, I listen to it every day. I wouldn’t even classify these guys as assholes, just your average boy/man. I love them to death, but I’m very happy I’m their friend and not sleeping with any of them.
There are lots of man eaters here on Xanga. It can be overwhelming and I suggest to all man to tread lightly.
Sheer stupidity.
From what I’ve seen, men haven’t changed all that much. Sure there are the scumbags, the liars, the cheaters, etc… but the same goes for women. For anyone to generalize people to such a degree as to think that all men or women behave in a a specific way is foolish.
I can make assumptions about people based on looks, the way a person dresses, and even their speech. But to lump all men together as rapists or as cheaters is basically the same as being racist…just gender wise.
Whenever I come across a “man hater”, I tend to look at their physical appearance and for the most part, they all fall into three categories.
1) Fat
2) Ugly
3) Fat and ugly
For the most part, the women who hate men are usually the one’s who are ugly inside and out. It’s a defense mechanism to protect themselves from the rejection of men. It’s no wonder that they get rejected with the attitude they have. At least a not so attractive woman with a good personality, could land a guy who is not as shallow as the rest.
A man named Dan can not be trusted
I don’t think a man is any less worthy of trust than a woman. As with any group, there are good ones and lousy ones. It’s sad when people become so jaded that they’re unwilling to give anyone a chance.
Yes I trust my husband cause I can out run him<:))))
Many men can. As can many women.
Oh brother. there’s plenty of men and women haters on xanga.
Pfft…
Only men that smoke a pipe in a rocking chair can be trusted.
I’m surprised there are women who hate men on Xanga. Actually, I’m surprised there are women left on Xanga at all.
Can men be trusted? Some can, some can’t, Same as it is with women.
fak u
it’s hard to trust anybody nowadays period
I’ve never been a manhater. I trust my husband. I trust everyone until I’m betrayed. Then it’s very difficult to regain that trust. But I see no difference between the trustworthiness of men or women. Unless only gay men cheat, it takes a man and a woman to make someone a cheater.
Of course. Trust needs to be regardless of gender. It can also be betrayed by both.
Trust has to be earned.
Always act like you trust someone, but don’t actually trust someone until they have earned it.
“Based on her profile pic, I have a hard time thinking that men really give her that much thought.”
Hahaha oh snap Dan. This better not be about me or I’m comin’ to getcha.
@StupidSystemus - rawr!
@mr_jin_tonic - Your outlook on gender differences and stereotypes is spot on and I 100% agree with you!
@ellechristina - case in point
I think women base their judgment of men off of the experiences they have with them.
I’m a pretty trustworthy guy. I have the rep and references to prove it. If a woman doesn’t trust me, she’s probably really sketchy herself.
I don’t think rapists choose their victim based on “looks” otherwise, who would rape a 78 year old woman? As for trust, I think men and women are just about the same in that category. Men just get caught more often when misbehaving. I trust all people equally until they show themselves to be unworthy of my trust. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t blindly “trust” anyone. But everyone gets the same chance to prove themselves.
Men are about as trust worthy as women are….
I’m entirely trustworthy.
Trust me.
@trunthepaige - Crap. You mean all I’ve had to do all this time is lie to them? D’oh!
I’m entirely trustworthy.
Trust me.
@trunthepaige - Crap. You mean all I’ve had to do all this time is lie to them? D’oh!
Eh…I’m not a man-hater, but my xanga would make me look like one. Probably because most of the stuff I post isn’t about all the wonderful, warm and fuzzy things that men do for me. I use xanga as an outlet to vent about all of the awful things that men have done. So…you may think me man hater…but really, your view into my life is limited.
@tkperito - actually, that depends on the rapist and their twisted reason for raping. many serial rapists go after women who have a certain look.
My experience is that men vary as much as women in honesty, fidelity, general trustworthiness. Also, in my experience, men do not keep their promises and they are content to sit on their asses while I work myself into an early grave to support them. I suspect a woman would be approximately the same if I were inclined to live with a woman. In general, humans are lazy and exploitative while I work my ass off and then resent it.
It really offends me how many women are so negative about the opposite sex. I don’t relate very much.
Though in vein of the content of your post, I wonder if she attracts male scum because she is one of those women who ‘men-don’t-give-much-thought [about]‘. I don’t know of whom you are referring to, but I think that there are enough guys who would prey on women who were unattractive.Others who wouldn’t take their bullshit would probably be out of their league.
Me personally, I have more respect for men than I have for most women. So yeah…
@hintofblue - The truth is out there.
Can a person be trusted? Sure, I suppose.
Can a general group be trusted? lolno
@jersey_jenn - yes.. you are right about that. I should have said that in most cases it’s not only about how good someone looks, but if the person fits the perverts profile.
yes. a man can be rusted.
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I trust no one. It doesn’t matter. Gender is irrelevant.
Don’t you think people have a right to hate men, though if they do? When they keep breaking their trust time and again it’s hard to tell a genuine one from a fake one pretending to be nice. Makes one want to give up, but I don’t give up even though sometimes I feel like it. I still keep trying just like anything else important.
With that said, there have been women haters here, too. The ironic thing is these people who hate women don’t even try to bother to date them. They just want sex from women. The popular ones we all know.
I am old school. I married the one girl who liked me. We trust each other.
I think we live in a society with values that allow much freedom between the sexes. The down side to this new freedom is there are many breakups among couples and it is very painful and jades the feelings of women towards men.
My dear wife of 57 years loved me, but sex had to wait until we were married. I understand that is not the norm today, but at age 79, I enjoy a very good relationship with my wife. My struggle is dealing with a very assertive wife while I am passive by nature.
I fear many men and women can not longer be trusted to the freedoms they now enjoy.
And this is why Aliens refuse to talk to us. We don’t even like our own species. (Can you blame them?)
I can trust a man–if he was in a game–and was on my side otherwise… it looks grim. (Even then.) Seriously.
Most men that I have allowed in my life have deceived, manipulated, created tiny scars that have lead to some sort of distrust in men.
But, its not only their fault, it’s the lack of judgement from my part and all women who go into it naively.
Trust takes longer to earn for both men and women.
Women hate me ’cause I’m too good lookin’. Trust me.
This is an easy explanation Dan, one I would expect a man of your maturity level to figure out. Not everyone was raised in the same manner. Some of the Xangans had horrible relationships with their fathers, hence this attitude you speak of. Don’t be so quick to judge. Nobody is perfect m´dear. Hope you have an exceptional weekend Dan.
Why the hell do you keep posting shit about men. vs women? Is this the only thing you think about, day and night? It sure seems like it. I think you like seeing people get riled up over stupid posts like this. To answer your question, uhm…DUH, a man can be trusted? I just think women are MUCH more likely to voice their distrust in people, in men or women, so it might seem like women are much more distrusting of men than the other way around. People also (only kind of sort of) tend to trust people based off of their own personal experiences, so I’m guessing that the women’s blogs you’re reading that bash men all the time have not had very many good experiences with men. Men DO have a bad rep, am I right? It’s not because it’s completely false AND they have this rep because women so openly voice their opinions and experiences. Women still feel very oppressed and less-than when compared to men, so I can only assume that’s why so many of us still hold a grudge against men. Women are also so often treated horribly (whether it is through abusive relationships, rape, oppression, baby daddy drama, being raised without a father because the father was an abusive cock sucker towards the mother, having dead beat dads, etc) so that does not help men’s situation, either. I am probably one of those women who often post “hateful” things about men on their blog because I often talk about past and current experiences with men in my life. But do I hate men? No. Not at all. In fact, I prefer talking to men than women and I often DO trust them more than women. I just hate specific things men do that men are so commonly known for. (Of course women do these things, too, but not nearly as often…and, like I said, women are much more likely to talk about it, making it seem like it IS just men who do these things.) So. Bam. There you go.
Also, you know that phrase “He-man woman hater?” That exists for a reason. And the phrase “She-woman man hater” is on the rise for a reason as well. Annddd I know quite a few men who post very hateful things about women as well. I’m starting to think you may be one of them. Just sayin’.
And to say something like “I doubt any of them give her that much thought” based off of her profile picture is so incredibly…just…ugh. Fuck that. Because rapists TOTALLY only target pretty women. HELLO, DAN?! ARE YOU THERE?!?! Jeesh. The person you are talking about has probably been a rape victim. I don’t know why else she’d be so paranoid. Or maybe it’s just another woman judging more men based off of what men are more known for. (Rape, for example, in this specific instance?!) I’m pretty paranoid about that shit, too, dude. Women are allowed to be precautious. Don’t be so quick to judge. Damn.
I don’t hate anyone, and I trust myself
I’m an equal opportunity hater.
I trust men, the ones I know…truth is I trust everyone, I become suspicious once people have failed/betrayed my trust more than three times
I like formulas
I wonder how many times can a man lose a woman’s trust? Some women lose trust at a drop of a hat and some woman are great martyrs.
I bet Theo dan is looking for a martyr.
There is a difference between a “easy” woman and a long suffering martyr. You can see some shallow women drop out when things get tough and there are women who you can win a longer term tolerance for those men who “last longer”.
Basically xanga blogging is a long term game. There are those who are worth investing time in and those bloggers who are shallow and in xanga for the short term.
I think that due to gender roles and bla bla…stuff, there are ugly traits that are probably more common in men. (And, yeah also ugly traits that are probably more common in women.)
Generalizations of certain groups do suck. I think that on both gender-sides they happen all too easily, because women are
typically attracted to men, and vice versa. It doesn’t matter what the
own gender thinks, and there is no experience of the same emotional intesity, so it gets
blended out.
It is less compliacted to blame the gender. It also gives the false hope that there are “typically nice” people (in this case women).
The problem is they lower the standard in the eyes of those who don’t want to meet a high standard (“I am a NICE guy. I would never beat you after all.”)
At the same time they put everyone in that group in a negative light, so that people watch out for the negative. Innocent people have to master unreasonable tasks to prove themselves different than the rest or “their group”. That’s when the boyfriend who has a female friend automatically becomes a “cheater”.
Then again, I don’t know
what
you saw and read.
If she said “men suck” that is an unnecessary generalization. If she makes men-jokes, wants ‘manhood’ to pay for the mistakes of a few (e.g. “a guy has to look hot, because many guys only want hot looking women”) I’d interpret it as hate-signs too. That would just be mean. It would also depend on the intensity of men-focus her posts, the
quantity, relativizing statements or lack thereof, and other factors.
If she said “I approach men carefully in this and that aspect, because the following things happened/ because men are raised in a certain way/ because men are physially stroger than me etc.” or happens to write about bad experiences she had, that is just her experience and way of living. I don’t think it makes her a “men-hater”.
This is a character issue and has nothing to do with gender.
I have nothing against men but I have been cheated on in pretty much every realtionship and everything else you can think of. Men need to earn trust.
The same goes for women. Not one is better than the other because women can be just as bad as men….I’m sure guys like seeing pretty girls on here but that dsnt mean anything…this site is for pure enjoyment and as I like to put it. VENTING.
Trust me….to do what, is the question?
From what I’ve been seeing, the same haters are the same type that will set themselves up to get wrecked. Then it just becomes a vicious cycle. They’re not happy with how things turned out, so the easy thing to do is allocate the blame to the entire gender. It’s really quick and lazy. It’s not Tom, Dick, and Harry; it’s everybody that looks like them. Categorizing is boring and takes too much time and thought process. Men happen serve as avatars for their mistakes, which isn’t fair. We’re not all assholes. Hell, some man haters have legitimate cases, but there are poor representatives of females, too. At the end of the day, there’s good people and there’s bad people. We all the the capacity to wreck shit.
The best thing we can all do for one another is be truthful and figure out what the hell we want.
I don’t know, I love men
I think some men, like some women, can’t really be trusted. Luckily I think the bad apples are outweighed by generally good people out there.
@Super_Rob_of_the_Sky - yep the last time I checked I was still a women…and I don’t hate men…there are good and bad in all species of life…
I am trying to install into the grandsons that they are GIT’s…Gentlemen in Training…you would be surprised at how much they absorb…those lil minds is what I’m referring to…I have a lot of respect for men…errr…6 brothers, I don’t know how many male cousins…
Trust should be given freely and not as a reward. It is when trust is violated that one can no longer be fully trustworthy.
At least that is how I see it.
I love men and all they have to contribute to life. I trust every man (person actually) until they have given me reason why not to trust them. I hold nothing against any man because of what some previous man may have done to lose my trust.