June 11, 2013
-
Sexless Marriage
I was reading this question asked to an advice column: I’m 56 years old. I’ve been married for over 20 years, and we haven’t made love in more than eight years. Is our sex life over forever?” Here is the link: Link
Could you live in a sexless marriage?
Comments (56)
I WANT a sexless marriage. That sounds absolutely fantastic.
Oh hell NO
Eh. I’d be alright with that.
Not a chance. Either the sex comes back, or I leave. Eight YEARS is ridiculous.
poor guy. that’s pretty sad.
Sooo..What’s the point of putting up with someone in a long-term relationship/marriage if you aren’t getting any? I would be gone. Unless it was because of medical reasons.
If he was nice and we were otherwise getting along well, maybe. I mean, I think I’d prefer to have sex, but if I loved the person enough I could deal.
People complain about sexless marriage. People complain about marriageless sex. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
Aw, poor guy.
A marriage or a relationship is not based on sex or should be. I would say depending on the factors and the happiness levels and communication (obviously I’m too tired to read article) but if for some reason they can’t the relationship should not end. If it’s not about that, then there has to be a reason why it stopped. They should work together to try and figure out where they stopped being attracted or stopped trying. They can get therapy. But, I still believe that when you’re married you choice that person for better or worse. Sometimes more worse than better but it was a choice.
I actually think I could.
Maybe not now but certainly when I’m 56. The thought of sex past a certain age is just plain revolting.
If they are asking, then they are bviously not happy with it, so for them it must be important
My ex and I didn’t do it for a month and I was ready to bail….but I’m 28. Ask me again in 30 years.
There are far more ways to achieve intimacy than just sex. Just because someone doesn’t need sex does not mean they don’t need intimacy. The sooner a couple realizes that the better.
Hmm… That would suck pretty royally (or wouldn’t suck at all, if ya catch my drift ), but you have ample time to say something about the situation within the span of 8 years if you’re unhappy about it.
@SKANLYN - LOL! 56 isn’t THAT old, is it? I have it on very good authority (a woman who was 62 at the time of our conversation) that sex somehow gets better every decade.
No.
no….8 yrs without sex is just bad
@SKANLYN - BWA HA HA HA HA! Wait till your 56!
@TheyCallHerEcho88 - No matter what anyone tells you, vaginas ain’t like wine and they don’t get better with age. You can have the 62 year old cooch. I’ll take celibacy over that nasty shit.
Maybe when I’m that age? Although 8 years seems a bit excessive. I’m not sure I could do it. I know for sure I definitely couldn’t do it now.
How does one survive that long in a marriage without sex?
That would probably be an issue. Dan you have never visited my page! lol. My latest post is filler crap though.
nope
sexless yes, marriage only if we live in different appartments/houses.
Surviving marriage for 8 years alone is tough.. now that too without sex… seems impossible.
Yeah. I can live without sex.
I have lived in a sexless marriage. It ended badly. In some ways I’m in another sexless marriage now.
Yeah and men aren’t the only ones who deal with this.Also, It’s amazing how many people would be anti-divorce, but would be okay with ending a marriage over sex. Always found that funny.
I really can’t believe the number of people who would bail on their spouse. “For better or worse”. Marriage vowels. You made them. I don’t remember “As long as you provide me with endless sex” being in the vowels. No wonder marriages don’t work out these days.
The comments on this post really helped me learn about some Xangans. And not in a good way.
I’m not married, so maybe I just don’t get how this can happen, but it seems like a really long time to go without sex. There is more to a relationship than sex, but sex is so important to the relationship. That’s why I can’t see how a couple could function that long without it. That just seems crazy.
@light_blue_fables - judgmental much?
@theotherside@datingish - maybe. maybe not. All I said was that it helped me learn about some Xangans and not in a good way.
we got worn out when we were young
I love sex so that would suck but in a marriage, there are a lot of other factors especially when there’s kids involved. He can get divorced on grounds of spousal neglect/no intimacy but who’s to say he would suddenly start getting sex after that anyway? I know a guy who hasn’t had sex w/ his wife in over a year. Poor guy is going crazy because he is very attracted to her. I don’t know if he can handle 8 years of this, no matter how much he loves her and wants to be with her. For him it’s like starving in a desert and being told he can’t eat the cake/drink the milk sitting right in front of him.
I lived in a sexless marriage for years, all 18 of them if you’re talking about how much of the sex had jack-all to do with me and what I needed. But it wasn’t the lack of sex that was important. A complete lack of sex in a marriage is a symptom of a terminal cancer.
could I? well, I could live through just about anything. would I? no. a marriage needs the closeness and intimacy of a sexual relationship, without it, its a friendship at best. unless there was some kind of trauma or illness that made sex out of the question, then of course I would stick it out.
I am sorry but I would not be ok with a sexless marriage if he just didn’t want to. If he was having health issues, yes. That’s a different story. But from what I read in that article… no. No way. Almost like she just sits back and judges how connected they were that day, like he has to make sure they connect enough for them to have sex? What? No! Poor guy, seriously.
what Joyce explained I am stunned that some one can earn $9453 in 1 month on the internet. did you read this web link http://www.rev24.com
I could.
We can’t afford another child so sex sex isn’t happening, but we can do other things.
It’s been 3 months since we’ve had naked time. I’ve still got 2 weeks til my after-baby Dr. visit.
i never knew there is such a thing
Why do you think I hired you?
Ohmygod, no! If my current boyfriend and I marry and at some point he is physically unable, and we have done everything we can, well……okay, I love him enough to deal with that, but otherwise? Oh HELL no!
I thought I could, and did for ten years. then I met my current husband and he let me know what I was missing. (I’m 57 and my ex is 49. My current husband is also 57)
There seem to be a lot of stories like that in advice columns…I feel so sorry for people in situations like that. If I were married to someone who didn’t want to have sex with me, I’d go crazy, especially if there wasn’t a medical reason for it.
no
I am 24 years old, I have been in a relationship for the past 3 years. My boyfriend started experiencing decreased sexual drive. We have only had sex 7 times in the past year. That’s less than one month. At least 3 of the times I begged or made it happen. It does get annoying at times BUT eventually you lose the desire yourself. At first I pleased myself I would say for the first 3-4 months, no I have no desire. My boyfriend is 39 years old.
I don’t think so. I’ve already gone without for far too long and I can’t imagine being around someone everyday and loving them for that many years and not wanting to get down at least here and there. Not having sex with your spouse for eight years sounds like a waste to me.
My wife and I are in our mid-50s and we don’t go 8 DAYS without sex!!! 8^)> We’re having more “fun” now than when we first got married. (We’ve been married 33 years as of the end of May)
No way, I think after being married for 17 years myself, it’s time to spice things up.
It would be very hard (pun intended). The brain chemicals released during sex help bond us together. An extreme dry spell could let doubts creep into your mind.
@SKANLYN - if you were one of my guinea pigs i would tap you on the nose and call you rude after reading that comment.
This blog has very distinct features. ThanksFeihud Tips And Tricks