February 22, 2006
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Different Standards
I was commenting on someone’s site today where a woman was talking about getting her kids off to school. It got me thinking about how strict I am with my own kids about their school attendance. When I was a kid, I would miss school like crazy. I have mentioned in a post that I had missed 30-40 days a year for several straight years. I just got in the habit of staying home.
Now I am at the age where I have children of my own and I don’t let them miss school for nothing. I don’t buy into any fake illnesses. I try to take special effort to make sure they attend school faithfully.
I think that when we are parents we are more sensitive to the issue of not letting our kids get away with the same things we got away with when we were kids.
Name an area that you got away with murder that you intend to stop your children from getting away with murder.
Comments (151)
using drugs.
First
I once threw a log at my little sister when I got made at her in front of both of our “boyfriends”. I’ve always regretted it, but she covered for me and had a huge bruise on her stomach.
I didn’t get away with murder for the most part. Both of my parents were teachers and were on me at all times. They did a good job raising me…..I hope I can do the same for my kids.
I won’t let my kids push me over, but I will love them at the same time..
I don’t know if my parents really let me push them around.. I love them.
hah, that makes no sense. I went to the dentist today, that’s my excuse.
turning one parent against the other by having them tell me different things… like “you have to clean your room” and “you can go play”
I didnt get away with MURDER, unless you mean *really* hating someone…which I have (on an occassion or two) during my lifetime. It’s a sad thing though, to hate someone VERY much.
Glad I havent felt that way in…over a year…
eating glue.
staying out late. there’s really nothing much to do late at night hahaha.
I always find it humurous those persons who say “first” when they’re really the SECOND comment…
Nothing against those people, it’s just funny to see.
no kids here. never had ‘em. never want ‘em.
but if i had ‘em I would say…
No all night sex parties and roofies. yeah….that.
I’m way to good of a kid to do anything real bad….but I do stay out and stay up really late. I would try and get my kids to bed on time…..Haha ya she was happy about beating me
.
~G~
I lived on a very short leash. I got away with NOTHING.
Let’s see, I’ve done a lot of drugs, a lot of drinking, tons of meaningless sexual misconduct, and really, if I had any kids, I’d let them learn on their own how empty that all gets after awhile.
Except drinkin’. Drinkin’ rocks.
i won’t let them push me over like i did…
I wasn’t the sort of kid who tried to get away with things, so I can’t answer the second part. However, if I had my time again things might be rather different…
Oh… Am I supposed to yell FIIIIFTH!!! now? I would let my kids get away with that.
Now, if I was able to murder and get away with it, oh I would teach my kids how. I’d teach everyone I knew how.
Bringing food to my room, and staying up way late.
i couldn’t skip – i didn’t want to skip – my parent’s would twist me into a pretzel if they ever found out i did. what are you views on preschooling kids rather than reg daycare? check out my site and the post from yesterday to see what i mean.
I never really got away with anything. My siblings and I spoiled my parents I think. *grin* Well, I suppose that just goes to show that they did a good job with all of us.
I used to fake illness all the time to get out of going to school so I know all the tricks when my daughter tries to fake it with me. I don’t let her get away with it.
I don’t get away with much, except maybe some unauthorized junk food now and then.
What? I didn’t get away with ANYTHING!
IF i ever lose my mind & decide i don’t hate kids, they WILL NOT be dating until they are older than i was. i started at 14.
Lying and sneaking out with my boyfriend. I’d rather know than not, unlike my parents. (who were very traditional Asian parents)
I would make sure I knew who my kids were hanging around with AND what their friend’s parent’s were like.
I WAS NOTORIOUS FOR BEING IN ONE PLACE & TELLING MY PARENTS I WAS SOMEWHERE ELSE…THEY NEVER CHECKED ON ME. NOW I THINK…WHAT IF SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED TO ME? THEY WOULDN’T HAVE KNOWN. NO GOING TO HAPPEN WITH MY SON…I WILL KNOW HIS WHEREABOUTS AT ALL TIMES IF I HAVE TO IMPLANT A GPS SYSTEM UNDER HIS SKIN WHILE HE’S SLEEPING! LOL
when i was 13 i started sneaking out of the house at all hours of the night… and to do many illegal things O_O . my parents were none the wiser. i am sure as hell going to check on my kids to make sure that they’re in bed and under the covers to make sure that it’s not just pillows!! hahahaa
i wasn’t a “bad” kid per se… i could have gotten into things much worse than what i did… in fact… as one point in my teenaged years, instead of sneaking out to do bad things… i snuck out to have prayer meetings with my friends in the park! HAHAHAHA
Unsupervised time….I had WAY to much of it which allowed for all kinds of trouble.
I am a real hard bottom with my own kids.
I am pretty lax on missing a few days of school here and there and we have special days together.
When you have 5 children you need to think out of the box to still get one on one time with your children. It is so easily to get overly involved in “family outings”.
My husband and I have done that for years.
2 cheat days a school year with each child and have mommy, dadd and me day.
*lol*
Corny I know.
Curfews are enforced and as long as curfews are enforced it is pretty easy to know what it is they are doing.
Who, What, Where and When?
I know just about all their friends and I DO call other parents.
In the seventh grade i once got a THREE on my report card in Spanish…i asked the teacher why the 3 and she said it was for the three days i DIDN’T come to class
Always L
VED going to school…gave me more people to fuck with
My parents both work all day so I’m home alone when I come home from school and on the weekends. I used to invite people over all the time and tell them to invite their friends especially if I didn’t know them just so I could meet new people, but one day, my father came home earlier than expected and I got in tons of trouble, so now I know better than to do that. So if I ever have kids, I’m not leaving them home alone for long periods of time. My parents trusted me and were sure I wouldn’t do anything bad, but look how that turned out!
going to test prep.
LOL, I rarely got away with anything and if I did it was pure luck. And you know what? I learned from those experiences too. So, I honestly think that if my kid pulls something off under my nose and gets away with it, he or she will learn from it too. But there’s not much they’ll be able to hide from me, I hope.
My parents were easy with the whole grade thing. I did well in school but I never had crazy pressure about it like some friends did. I wouldn’t go to extremes with it but with my children I would find a happy medium.
Please state your opinion or any good ideas that you have!
Much Thanks.
Concerts :]
My kids won’t lie to me, I’ll KNOW when they are lying!
my mom never searched my room. I always wondered why. If I were her I would have search my room. I will definitely go through my kid’s rooms and their bookbags.
i skipped school a lot when i was in highschool. because of bullies. i faked illnesses (an earache for 2 weeks-and then some) i faked stomache aches. i faked all sorts of things. but i faked them because i couldn’t handle the bullies that were bothering me in every class. i had 4 classes with the same bullies in every class. teachers were not in control of the class so it was my way of protecting myself from them. of corse i protected myself only long enough for my parents to slap some sence into me. which i then protected myself by running away from home. to which they found me and locked me up in a hospitol.
so since i know that behind those little fake illnesses there are real problems i would talk to my kids more about why they are doing these things. why they are trying to get out of school. it’s not always the work sometimes its the meanies gettin’ you. So i would try and work through their problems.
I didn’t really do anything that I wouldn’t care if my child did. Although, actually … come to think of it, I had a lot of unprotected sex. Not promiscuous sex, but unprotected. Of course, it wasn’t a big deal to me because I knew I wouldn’t get pregnant. However, I would be upset if my daughter (if I ever have one) came home pregnant before she was married.
Murder. hahaha. Actually I probably wouldn’t want them to sneak out at night, and climb cell phone towers, sneak into ballparks… put sharks in peoples mailboxes… *cough*. Yeah. Well. haha. I MIGHT let them get away with prankish behavior like that. If it was funny
I did a lot of acid in high school. My parents never even noticed. How?
murder in itself .. lol
My parents were actually pretty lenient in letting me go out with my friends a lot when I was in high school and stuff. Not that that is a bad thing, but a lot of the times they didn’t know who I was going out with or what I was doing. A lot of times I’d come back really late, and they wouldn’t even know. I think when I become a parent, I’d be a lot more inquisitive about what’s going on in my kids’ lives, who their friends are, where they’re going out, when they come home, etc. I’m such a worrywart, I’ll be the type of mom to sleep on the couch until her kid came back safe and sound.
Name an area that you got away with murder that you intend to stop your children from getting away with murder:
Porn and pre-marital sex.
Mouthing off, temper tantrums and disrespecting.
I will probably not let my daughters leave the house dressed the way I did some days.
Nothing…I had a over-the-top, extremely agressive disciplinarian for a mom.
As the third child and had seen my mom follow my older bro and sis when they were teens to ensure they didn’t do anything she considered wrong. She scared me to death. I think she was actually easier on me but I knew what she was capable of.
I’m more worried about whether I can find the right balance of discipline. Since I’ve been around pscho extremes, I might be tempted to be too easy.
I didn’t do much of my homework when i was in middle school and the beginging of high school, i’m gonna really keep track of my kids and how they do on their homework.
staying out really late when they get older. It’s just so much more going on now then when I was a teen.
oh yeah and lubbins=love, luvins.
i never really got away with anything… my parents were pretty “whatever. as long as you don’t do drugs and other lame things.”
ryc: heck yes i only skipped once! i loved high school!!! i never wanted to be gone!
I would certainly hope there would be some attitude change between childhood and parenthood!… geez I feel old now. However while my attitude may have been lax quite often as a child, I never really got away with much. I never really tried much for that matter. I can already tell mine will be trying ALOT though.
I never got away with anything. My mom was just too vigilant. I never tried too much because I knew she would find out.
I guess I will not let my daughter date until she is older than I was (14). I will let her go out in groups but not alone in a car with an older boy until she is older.
i don’t think i really got away with much. so i expect to do the same with my kids
i wont let my kids quit things so easily i think. my parents gave in far too easily on that one.
I won’t let my kids be home schooled. Altho I like it, I hate it at the same time.
Im not touching this one.. I took my kids to Disneyland yesterday instead of school
I never got away with anything. As a result, I never tried to get away with anything. As a result of that, I’m a boring and responsible adult.
I had a stay at home mom, and didn’t have to lift a finger around the house. I didn’t know how to boil water when I got married. Mom did my laundry, the cooking – she even made my bed in the morning because I was “too busy studying.”
Not me, kiddo. If my daughter’s room looks like a landmine went off in it, tough. If her laundry is in a lump on the floor, it doesn’t get done until it hits the right basket, or it’s done by her. I personally don’t care if she has “nothing to wear”.
And if I have to work late, the only way we’re eating dinner is if SOMEONE starts it ahead of time. She already can make some awesome dishes.
Achedemic laziness throughout my public school career.
I got away with not doing chores.
But I plan on being strict about my own children “pulling their weight.”
I won’t let them get away with murder. That’s where my parents slipped up.
I went almost an entire semester without doing any math homework. Not sure how I managed doing that, but I still have nightmares about it. Anyway, I hope to homeschool my (hypothetical) children which should take care of that.
spending too much time online, and not doing homework (haha, like now!)
this is why bad kids make great cops.
tHEIR MOUTHS!
I won’t let my kids get away with having bad friends.
I think I was pretty manipulative when I was younger. When I got to my teenage years my parents put a stop to that and I didn’t get away with ANYTHING!!!
Only so many things…
Nicholas
I was bad… I was never where I said I was going, I snuck out of people’s houses (never my own) I snuck people IN to my house, I drank, I was dropped off at movies and never made it through the door…. everything. My daughter has already been warned, she will get away with nothing, because I already know all the secrets.
Television and video games. Time wasters. Read a damned book.
sex. definitely sex.
I got away with nothing. But I didn’t try much, either. Why? Fear instilled in me by the parents, that’s what did it.
Underage drinking…. I started going to disco clubs when I was 16!!! We never got into trouble, but I’m sure it wasn’t the best thing to be doing at that age….
sex
Talking back, being a smartass, etc.
Well I am not a parent,( I would really like to be one day!) If I had kids, I would make sure to stress to them not to get sexually active really young like early teens. For many adolescents that can be very damaging to their psyches because they are just not ready and mature enough. In many cases its just not good to start very young. Another thing would be to really stress to them the importance of caution and health.
As for me I really didnt feel the need to break rules, I was an easy going kid…same with my youngest brother. My other brother on the other hand was and is VERY wild and my parents could do nothing to stop him what so ever!
I cant say I have ever done anything horribe that I was able to get away with… other then curfew of corse, but the way I see it, if I can trust them… (like my parents trust me) I will not have much of a problem with curfews… Also, about the whole school issue… I do intend to put my children (i dont have kids yet btw) into school and I want them to attend regularly… just as I have… I really very RARLY missed school, and I think I only faked sick once!
Well should I have kids, I will want them to grow up in a more structured inviormnet-a relaxed boot camp, and less tv.
I used to stay out all hours of the night. I’m not letting Ace do that. Geo can’t even walk yet, so no worries there for a while.
I didn’t skip school it wasn’t fun staying at home with my mom. My mom will make me sleep all day ( no TV) and if I was feeling better she would make me help her with chores. My sister ruin it for me. She was a trouble maker and when I tried to do stuff, I wasn’t able to get away with it.
I got everything I wanted .. handed to me. My kids must work for it!
great question today!!
Lying.
On the other side of the coin, my parents were very strict. I didn’t get away with anything. I think I will be much more lenient on my children.
Oh, and this helped me understand “emo.”
You can be a priest and a homosexual as long as you’re not promiscuous. Emo is the culture that is whiny and sulky and basically teenage-ish. I was emo as a teenager, though I didn’t associate with the musical culture so much. I didn’t get away with much, because I was a very meek child. My parents were lucky, I think, because I respected them and loved them. I didn’t so much fear them as think that the punishments I’d get wouldn’t be worth whatever I wanted. I guess I’ll mostly promote healthy active lives to my kids… but not too soon
alright, so I’m late for the emo discussion, but I feel I should clarify something since all I read was that emo kids were suicidal freaks, goth wannabes and a bunch of other demeaning things. Granted, I didn’t read all the houndred-and-some-odd comments, I did find some ugly ones.
There is more to emo than what the general culture expresses. In fact, though none of my friends would put me in that social group, I have some of their tendencies and tend to agree with many of them when we talk about life in general. This is, mind you, from a Christ centered analysis on my part.
I don’t think you can pin any characteristic to all kids within the emo comunity, or whatever you want to call it. Genaralisations are only aproximations. I do believe, however, that one thing that causes our culture to pin these kids as emo is their tendency to openly view and discuss their emotions with others, and to be real with themselves about what they feel apart from what peer preassure says. They’re even willing to accept that peer pressure is a hassle and that they struggle with it. The highschool culture then, being afraid of drama (because that’s just not cool), pints fingers at these kids who are not afraid to admit they’re hurting and makes their culture out to be negative and stupid.
The truth is, the emo really is short for emotional, but it is given this dark, depressed connotation. When really, it just boils down to being sincere with one’s emotions, putting aside the ‘boys don’t cry’ and ‘girls are drama queens’ mentalities and realizing that we do have feelings.
On the other hand, the naevity of kids who are facing the identity vs. role confusion crisis (Emerson’s psychosocial theory) will cause them to think that it’s cool to wallow in pain. Just like in anything else, there’s going to be the kid that identifies with whatever emotion is being conveyed but will take on the rest of the problems and make them his/her own in his head. But that’s not the mentality behind it. That’s not what their artists and musicians are doing. Take any emo band and listen to them. They say ugly things at times, they say beautiful things at others, but they are being honest about their hurt, or about their dreams, or about anything else they’re feeling. Usually it comes out in a beautiful and touching song. Isn’t that similar to christian music? There’s always been parts of songs that I can’t sing off of a CD or in a worship service because they’re just not real in my life. In the same way, the kids will sing, and believe things in the music, or in the culture that are not realities in their lives. It’s stupid to attack the emo subculture because of this human tendency.
It’s somewhat like the heavy metal craze back in the day, except this doesn’t focus so much on anger as it does nostalgia and retrospective, and then future hopes and dreams.
that, my friend, I think is an honest explanation of what emo means.
First! What about when they are hurt from being beaten by their parents?
Um…so many many things but i think let them get away from using drugs is more important.
Definitely grades. I’m fine with missing school occasionally (not often though) but if their grades fall then I’m going to be PISSED. I’ve messed up my entire life by screwing around in high school, and I don’t intend to let my kids do it too.
I sat and thought about that for a good five minutes before I realized I did not get away with ANYTHING, my parents were super strict….I remember when I was in grade four, Mom told me to go die in school (she was joking) I ended up being taken to the hospital and staying there for three weeks, almost dying….then she said the same thing again to me when I was in grade nine and she told me the same thing, go die in school…ended up in the hospital, had my appendix removed around four that afternoon…. so yeah, I went totally opposite with my own kids….interesting how we do that ..>I wonder what they’re going to be like with their kids…’til the next
lying
I’m a constant liar, and I’m dang good at it. but if I know every trick in the book, there is no way my kids are getting away with it.
time spent playing computer games. on the other hand, I’ve hardly dated, so they would probably get away with that.
holy crap a real entry!
way to shake off the lazy webs dan! maybe you can get it to one substance filled one a day
i got away with everything but was denied normal shit like wandering off out of fear of predators so i made sure they paid for thier flawed parenting skills.
I won’t ever THREATEN them. I want to, and will always make a concious effort to follow through if I say I am going to do something. Also, I don’t like the whole “I’m not gonna say it again!!” “next time you do that” over and over. Just DO something already. Disicpline.
Skipping school when they’re seniors…I screwed up my chances of getting into a good college without 2 years at a community college because of that…and I keep making the same mistakes. I’ll be damned if my kid does that. Ass kicking, anyone?
I agree with what Tico_04 said.
They cant have alot of freedom these days….its not a safe world like it used to be. My kids go to school everyday, thats my law!
something that I would do for my children is talk to them about what they like to do and what they are interested in and try to find an after school activity for them.
My parents never really made me do anything extra.
I was first born… I didn’t get away with anything, I still don’t, my parents call me out on anything, and I own up to it. This actually instilled in me something ppl call “duty to self”. I get to the point here in college where if I give myself a day off… I really end up feeling guilty about it, my thoughts are continually plagued with wanting to do homework or cleaning (because that is what I SHOULD do and I am wasting my time not doing anything). My parents were/are always doing somethin, except on Sundays when they do finally put things aside, go to church and spend the rest of the day preparing for the upcoming week. I had, if not perfect, almost perfect attendance in ms/hs. It was small small community, the secretary could even tell if the note was forged or not…she knew parents sig’s that well…so it was very hard to get outta school.
I don’t want to have kids, they are HUGE responsibility and I would want certain things that I know I would fail at as a mother. That’s my biggest fear, being a bad mother and that is what keeps me from wanting to have kids. I want my kids to be like.. I don’t know… it’s mean, but I have expectations for them, and if they couldn’t live up to them I would think that I was a horrible parent. Because I couldn’t teach them, model for them, show them what is right and wrong in this life. To be able to succeed, how to deal with their loses, and how to learn from the loses. HOw to improve themselves as a person, how to grow, and learn from others. How to be humble, when to have pride, when it is appropriate to just be mad…. I don’t think I am the right person to show our future all that. That’s why I don’t want kids…it’s not that I wouldn’t love them, I would almost love them too much. I would hate to see them hurt, even though I know from experience a person grows from pain and can use it to learn valuable lessons.
JEEZ, k, that turned into an essay , SOrry.
uh, idk…I’ve had life pretty much ok, and im pretty fine w. my parents rules, so I might try to raise my kids the same way.
I pretended I was sick so that I could stay home and read!!! I wouldn’t mind if my son did that every now and then, he’s not a big reader.
i dont really get away with anything
I would hope to avoid hypocrisy as well as set limits.
blessings,
tony
my mom was really strict with me most of my childhood….the only weakness she really had was when i was 8 i was hit by a car and it broke my leg…so i used to use that excuse alot to stay home from school…othr than that it was if she knew everything i did before i even did it…i wonder if i am going to be the same way with my unborn son or daughter?
Skipping school in more ways than one.
Mine is getting away with things like, depression, and sadistic settings.
I wouldnt let them drill themselves into the same hole i have.
or let them be a perfectionist.
I’m super sheltered, so theres nothing I can stop them from doing. I guess pigging out on food.
I think my unwillingness to clean the house might be something I try to get my kids to avoid early on. =)
[ariana]
I am never allowed to get away with anything, ever, I always get caught. I will probably be less strict with my kids, but not much so. I am old enough to accept that my parents raised me well.
it appears to me that many of the people that comment here haven’t even gone past grade school.
Hmmm. . . .being shy. Being introverted. I was until I was fourteen. . . start enjoying life and being sillly from the moment you pop outta me!, I say!
I haven’t ever gotten away with anything. My parents (well, my dad) I guess are kind of like you. But they let my youngest sister get away with everything… hmm.
I’ve never really gotten away with murder, so to speak; my parents haven’t hounded me for my entire life, but I’ve never given them any reason to. We have an understanding; anything that I do, I do with the knowledge that, ultimately, I am the one who will be taking all of the responsibility for any given outcome. Obviously, my parents ask that I stay within legal boundaries, though I have — to their knowledge — gone outside of those boundaries on a few occassions, up to this point in my life.
I think that I’ll probably be more strict about what is said around the home. To be honest, I swear far too often, and casually. I really need to drop the habit; it’s one I picked up a long time ago, and just haven’t gotten rid of yet, though I don’t do so excessively, at this point; I’ve more or less gotten past it, even if it’s not entirely out of the way. My parents have always reprimanded me for doing so, but somehow I feel as though I’ll be even more strict than they are with my own children — call me crazy, but it’s something I’m sure of, in my gut.
Stephen
I LITERALLY MURDERED SOMEONE.
If my children do that, I’ll probably ground them for a week or something.
Come to think about it, I retract my statement. More than likely, I won’t be as strict as my parents have been — they’ve been fairly lax — on swearing; I’ll simply do as they have done, and advocate other verbal paths to expressing themselves. To be honest, I don’t know why I swear at all; for each such word that I say, I could probably name 5-10 decent synonyms to be used instead. Feh.
With that gone, I can’t actually say that I would crack down on my children in any way, other than to request forcefully that they complete take-home/homework assignments in good time, on time; I’ve been horrible about that for as long as I can remember, though I tend to do relatively well in my courses, due to generally high test grades. While it’s boring, for grade school, grades incurred by doing homework are imperative (that is, grades showing reasonable effort).
Stephen
um… i was quite the little klepto when i was a child, but i dont think my parents ever knew that. i hope my kids dont do that… other than that, i cant really think of anything. i dont really do anything bad….. i swear too much.
made me think hard on it but if schooling is concern i know i never run away from it but when i was a kid i run away because im a kinda a jealous kid during that time and having another kid (my father niece having a vacation) at home having my parents attention knocks me off. ~arlina~
spending too much time on the computer.
thank you. yesterday was the first time visiting your site, but i’ve heard of it before… i’m still amazed at how you get nearly 200 comments every time, without fail! thats just impressive. will you share your own beliefs on the last few posts? or were they strictly for discussion by your commentors? just curious really.
i think it’s cool how you try to keep your kids in line! don’t let them skip!… (and here i am, 16, and in school… well, homeschooled)…
i would have to say, pride. i won’t let them become overly proud of themselves… pride is a dangerous thing, and it prevents you from reaching out. i should know.
hello there
i dont know. i havent done anything i dont want my kids to do. i just dont want them to smoke. my mom does, and i hate it. i guess that would be my answer.
The teacher I work with had a pact with her daughter (now 21) to keep her from trying to fake illnesses at all. They had an agreement that if the daughter truly did not want to go to school, for wahtever reason, on a particular day she’d ask her mom if she could stay home. Sometimes she said yes, other times no. But this open and honest communication kept the daughter from trying to fake and lie her way into staying home on occasion. I think this is a great plan. =)
Smoking…… but i don’t know if that even possible to stop someone………..
At my kids current age, I used to feed the dogs my veggies. We have not re-visited that (not often at least).
When older I used to take the car to the 7/11, buy beer and drink in the back of it. I certainly hope I can prevent this.
I can’t remember if there was a certain area in my childhood that i got away with alot. I do know that my sisters were a little jealous and said that i did get away with murder!! But I think it was cause i was the baby. Also, i do believe that alot of parent do this with the babies of the family.
> Hollering at the grown~ups for no good reason ‘n ‘xpectin no kickback … now theres a misassumption . And there need be no excess . But make ur point.
The drug thing worries me. I did them and came out alive and intact but I don’t want my kids getting involved in that. If they do though, I want to be there for them with my saged advice. It’s very difficult.
actually, i was good kid! or maybe i was so afraid of my what my father will do to me when he finds out that im skipping school.. lol
when i was a kid, i have to put extra effort in studying since my older sister was an honor student..i have to leave to the peoples expectations to me.. i may not be as brilliant student as my sister but i had keep myself away from troubles..lol..
have a nice day Mr Dan.. and enjoy the rest of the week..
and by the way, still no kids to think about..
Too much TV and entertainment. I watched tons of TV and went to many movies. What a waste of valuable time. Plus, today TV content is even more immoral than when I was a kid. We don’t have a TV at home, so our 5 kids spend more time reading books and thinking of things to do like finding and describing how many different kinds of mushrooms are in our neighborhood. I don’t think they miss a thing not having a TV at home.
I’d say I wasn’t been too horrible as a child. I know that I was very stubborn, and would not do anything my parents told me, but, thankfully, they beat me and beat me (no bruises here, and I needed it anyways) so I was already pretty straightened out by the time I was six.
I loved school, so I never cut it, and I didn’t try to kill my siblings.
God bless,
Shohna
Naturally, as parents, I think we will remember the things we did that we got away with from our parents, that may have, or could have, ended up in negative consequence. Is there something from your lack of school attendance when you were their age that you ended up dealing with back then? Such as suspensions? Calls to home? Talks with counselors? And I think nowadays, with the way that social workers do things now as opposed to then, may fear us, as (in my case) a person who will be having children within a couple years after being married this October, or (in your case) a person who has a child.
I not only slacked off in school, and got bad grades, I ended up dropping out. I eventually got my GED, and now I’m going to school through the Art Institute of Pittsburghs online courses. I think I won’t be very super strict on my kids, but being a person who played the games growing up, I’ll know when to spot it. I won’t be strict about dating, or going out with friends. Basically, you cannot really determine the roles your kids will play as teenagers, or young adults, because everyone reacts differently to different situations. We worry that maybe we got lucky and didn’t turn into terrible people from the dumb stuff we did as kids, or that we don’t want our kids to have to deal with hardships we had to, due to dumb stuff we did. But, no matter what you do, if you stay a strict parent, your kids may or may not rebel. If you stay a parent who is easy-going, your kids may or may not become alcoholics at age 17. I think it’s best if you at least play an important role in general, and let your kids know you care, and try to show interest in what they are doing, and make good minded decisions in your childs best interest, no matter what the cards fall onto, you did your best as a parent. Some parents, after their kids grow up and end up not screwing up, they feel proud of themselves as parents. But, what are you to feel proud of? Your kid made most of the decisions in his or her life. I think it’s best to be proud of your kids for their accomplishments, and just be there along the way to do what you must do when the time is needed. Cause our kids are going to be bound to trip and fall at times, it’s the parents duty to be there to help them up and wipe off the dirt.
Sorry this was so long.
self mutilation
My parents were pretty lenient with me when I was growing up. I did a lot of wild and crazy things in my youth. But I think I turned out pretty darn good. And I have 4 wonderful boys that are being raised pretty much the same as I was. We are very open with our kids. They know they can come to us and talk about anything….yes, anything, including sex, smoking, anything. I don’t think I “got away” with anything….I just think my parents were very open and allowed me to make my own mistakes, no matter how huge they may have been. I intend to let my kids live their lives and make their own choices. However, my husband and I DO give them our sometimes very strong opinions. My kids are not only polite and sensitive to others’ needs, but they also have strong morals and convictions as to what is right and wrong. Being strict doesn’t mean you have to disallow everything and it doesn’t mean you can’t let your children make their own mistakes. That’s how we all learn….from our mistakes.
I think part of the melancholy that this question inspires isn’t over lost youth, but rather over crazy lawyers that would ruin my family if my kids pulled half the crap I did when I was young.
For instance, croquet-ball fights…yes, throwing croquet balls at one another until one kid got hit in the face and lost a tooth. Not that my mom “let” that happen…we made sure she didn’t know. But can you imagine that in today’s world? Or stick fights, BB gun wars, climbing around the tobacco barn throwing spears at each other. Hey, what can I say…most of the time when 8-12 year old boys are left to their own devices, most of our games involved throwing stuff at each other.
Thank God I have girls…I don’t have to get as crazy until they’re…well, about now I guess.
kosovodad
Coming home late from curfew.
Oh my goodness! Please God don’t let Charis do even a quarter of the things I got away with!! How do I pick just one?! Ummmm …. bunking off school and driving round the countryside in Mums car was a favourite!
I think rigidity or strictness without explanation or understanding will only cause more friction. Being a dictator parent is just as bad as being a too lenient parent.
I don’t get away with much. Besides like skipping homework occasionally.
I never got away with anything. I always had two older sibblings to knark on me! lol!
My mother allowed me to quit a lot of things throughout the course of my life, such as ballet lessons, piano lessons, saxophone lessons, tennis lessons, etc etc.
I won’t let my kids quit ANYTHING. My daughter is going to be a ballerina, and my son will be a cellist. And they’ll like it.
Murder.
Not getting them help with depression…
I will never go into delnial if my children needed help
my mother never even knew what classes i was in in school….so she had no idea if i was doing my homework or not. so i could always tell her that i didn’t have any homework for the next day’s classes, and that it was due later in the week. i will know what classes my kids are in.
i miss school alot. i really have no excuse im 15 this week wasa 3 day weekend and i stayed home tuesday for no reason then today got checked out at 10 for no reaon. just an example and i also got to school like 5 min late.. phew not good. i wont let my kids do that though. ever
i have done so much bad stuff i think it would take forever to type and im tired so i dont wanna type it but see i dont EVER get caught, im jus good like that. like my lil bro one time told my parents i snuck a boy in my room and he jumped out my brothers window ( which all was true ) but i denied it and my dad believed me and told my lil bro to tell the truth and my lil bro was like “i am tellin the truth” but yeh my mom yelled at him and told him to stop lyin and so he said he was lyin and he was sorry, it was great but now i feel bad cuz i know i was lyin. but i have done so much. actually i take back that i never get caught becuz i do sometimes and jus dont care or i do sumthin and be like well its not fair u let my jeremy do it and hes 11 and im almost 16 and i cant do it so then they let it slide, its great. well imma go to bed so ttul
~carmen
smoking pot… and I did… my kids grew up without incident.
Doing drugs, and doing drugs in school.