July 26, 2007
-
Weight and Adoption
A man in Missouri is claiming he is being denied the ability to adopt because of his weight. He was asked to adopt a cousin’s 3-month-old son. The judge in the case would not agree to the adoption because of the man’s weight. The man weighs approximately 500 pounds. Here is the link: Link
Should a person’s weight and general health be a factor in whether they can adopt?
Comments (99)
Can someone that large even take care of himself, much less a child?
I don’t think so..
are they afraid he’ll accidentally sit on it and squash it?
Hey, if he’s Fat, That’s all the more for the child to hug.
That means there’s a much bigger lap for the child to sit in. That means the kid shouldn’t have to worry about ever being bigger then daddy.
yes, because he will likely not live so long. i worked for a missouri adoption agency, lovebasket.org for a few years, and health issues are definitely a consideration for prospective adoptive parents.
Yes. He is probably going to have a very short lifespan and could also influence the way the child eats- and therefore his health.
no but u never know he mite sit on the kid. but i think it is about his lifespan and health.
yes. kids put up for adoption need stable homes, maybe even moreso than kids in the homes of their biological parents. if the parent is morbidly obese or critically ill, leaving a child in that person’s care probably isn’t wise. that person may not be able to provide the standard of care needed for a child put up for adoption. in addition, faltering health, to be blunt, means chance of a lessened lifespan. haven’t the kids been through enough? we can’t, obviously, save biological children from this — ie. take them away from ailing parents; that’d be stupid. but we can save the adopted ones from it.
They need to consider how well the child will be cared for and the general living conditions, so if weight and health factor into it, so be it. But they shouldn’t be the sole conditions for allowing/disallowing an adoption.
It should be a factor to some extent. A person who is 500 pounds is going to have trouble running after a child if they’re in danger. And if this guy doesn’t TRY to lose weight, he’ll most likely gain more and end up not being able to walk.
That’s no life for a child. To have to take care of a parent at that age.
And truly, if this man WANTS to adopt this child. He should be willing to try to lose SOME weight. A child is worth the effort.
No.
at 500 lbs, it’s no hard to lose weight down to a reasonable level, I’ve seen a lot of people do it.
I dont think weight ALONE should play a factor. Now should someone who is about to die be able to adopt? No…that just puts the child back at square one. Should someone who is in good general health that is a little over weight be able to adopt? Yes. Believe it or not bad things and health issues can happen to the healthiest people. Take Lance Armstong for example.
My big dream is to adopt a little girl from China. I would be a little offended if weight was a huge deciding factor in whether or not this dream in my life could be full filled. However, in cases like the one in this article, I understand. 500 pounds is a lot; and physically it would be hard to take care of yourself much less a young child.
I don’t think a person who is overweight should be denied something along these lines, but when you’re tipping the scales at 500 lbs, come on. When you’re that big there’s no way you can keep take care of a baby or keep up with a toddler in the next few years.
However, I think the judge’s biggest concern may be that the man will deep fry the baby when he runs out of Twinkies.
“Stocklaufer said he weighs roughly 500 pounds — though he’s lost 35 and is working to lose more — and that his weight hasn’t stopped him from working as a truck driver or playing with his son.”
so at least he is trying to lose the weight!
general health could be a factor and i guess weight has a tie in with that. But I don’t think it should be the only factor. If the man is financially stable and can support a child, let him adopt already!
I don’t think it should be a factor in determining if you can adopt. But on the other hand being that overweight how on earth can the guy take care of a child he can’t even take care of himself and I hate to say that. I am a mother and man I am constantly running around doing something for kids, it is most likely hard for that man to get up and go to the bathroom!
Absolutely in this case. At 500 lb the man isn’t looking for a child, he’s looking for a caregiver. The chances of this man being able to raise a child in a physically and emotionally safe and healthy environment is nil. The man obviously doesn’t care about his own well-being; how much less able would he be concerned about the well-being of a child.
Re: an earlier post on Bill O’Reilly’s website, I went to the site and saw this: “The hatred on display at Bill O’Reilly.com is frankly shocking.”
Given how much hatred Bill OReilly and Fox News generate towards anything non-Bush, non-Republican, I am not the least bit shocked.
For adopting a family member weight should not be a factor, stability should be the factor. If he were trying to adopt some random child off the street then it might be warranted to prevent him.
The man is married and already has an adopted son who he is caring for. That just makes it even more illogical that the judge should disallow the adoption. I say the judge should be disbarred.
YES!!!!
Think about it this way.
If a 500 pound man and a 500 poound woman can’t have a child beause they’re GIGANTICALLY FAT, they shouldn’t be allowed to adopt a baby. They wont’ teach it how to eat properly.
PEOPLE HAVE ADDICTIONS TO FOOD! IT”S HARDED TO KICK THAN ANY OTHER ADDICTION.
WHY ALLOW SOMEONE WITH A SERIOUS ADDICITON ADOPT A CHILD?
Yes!! How are you really able to deal with a baby, toddler, or child at 500 lbs?
Yes…
That is ridiculous! The same judge let them adopt their now 7 year old son six years ago when they were the same size and now the judge says No! This baby was taken from a home of loving people because they tried to do the right thing by legally becoming his parents and trying to provide health insurance for him. I have a weight problem, I’ve actually lost 200 lbs., but my husband and I were looking into adoption and if I would have been turned down because of my weight (then 450 lbs.) I would have fought back also. At 450 lbs. I was more physically able to do things than some 110 lbs. women I know. Weight should NOT be the deciding factor. They should look at how they can provide for this child, not what MIGHT happen down the road. I know people that don’t have weight problems that die of heart-attacks. My father in law is only 150 lbs. but he has very high cholesterol. Weight can be hard on the body, but weight is not the only determining factor with deadly diseases. Don’t even get me started on cancer – that can hit anyone at anytime with no warning. This baby has a loving family, a big brother, and now he has been put into state custody until someone else will take him. THAT IS NOT RIGHT!!!
Yes. If he’s overly obese and can’t take care of himself then how is he going to take care of an infant.
It is a fact that many agencies are looking at the medical records of the adoptive parents. Weight is not the only issue. All issues regarding health are being considered. The agency wants to know that they are putting the child into a home that will physically and mentally be able to take care of that child and provide security in the long-term. Granted, anyone could “keel over”, but they want to do the best they can. I would hope through all of the decisions that each case is reviewed and not just tossed out automatically due to a certain lists of items not met. I might add that financial security is also on the rise as a consideration. That might leave many children alone when they could have really good hard-working parents who simply don’t earn enough money to go through the “judging process”.
I would like to say that a person of any weight should definately be able to adopt, but I would only say that to be nice. I really don’t think that a child would be taken care of in the best manner seeing as the guy obviously can’t even control his own life (weight). Then again, where would the child be if the fat man couldn’t adopt? There are children starving in Africa that would have a much better life in America…even with a fat guy. Hmmmm…this question makes me think…!!!
as long as he can take proper care of the child I don’t see why not
It sounds kind of ridiculous when it’s weight vs. adoption. However, if it’s health vs. adoption, it sounds fair to me.
if it does….then the government should weigh in on ones sexuality as well!!!
Most adoption agencies take health very seriously. I was not aware that family adoptions have that strict of guidelines. Maybe this is the motivation he needs.
Ha ha, afraid that he’ll squish the kid.
If someone is overweight enough that they may not be able to help the child in case of an emergency, they should not adopt. Yes, there will always be exceptions. But in this case, all it says is that he is losing weight and can play with his other child – so it sounds like he should be able to have another one.
Yeah. If he’s constantly in danger of heart failure, I should hardly think it’s fair to dump him on a poor kid.
Yes, because he has serious health problems to deal with himself, much less take care of an infant. If he were to go on a diet and show that hes making an effort to lose the weight, they’d probably let him adopt anyway.
Health should be a factor in adoption but weight . . . It depends on the person. Wrestling star Big Show is over 500 lbs and is very healthy . . . well except for a the whole being a wrestler thing.
Yes, I think it should be… Someone who is THAT over weight isn’t really capable of taking care of himself – how should he be expected to take care of a child??? I’m adopted… I know that there are thousands of people who can take care of a child who would give ANYTHING for that child… I don’t have anything against large people – I’m not terribly skinny myself – I just think that someone capable of managing a child should recieve him/her.
I didnt read the article, and I dont know the specifics…but if its just about being fat, then the decision is wrong.
My mother raised 5 kids…and she did it very well-She was FAT and UNHEALTHY… at 5’4″, she weighed 450 lbs. She was a diabetic, with a non-functioning thyroid…(She also died of kidney cancer 5 years ago.) None of us are in prison, none of us are junkies or alcoholics, all of us have high morals, good jobs, great kids, and loving families..
I really don’t know! I kinda think that maybe he should be allowed, because I know a couple in our church association that are very overweight, but they have two children, and they are about the best parents I have ever seen.
But then again, what everyone else is saying is that he is addicted to food, can’t take care of himself, much less a child . .
Maybe he should be given a trial period? Let them see how it goes?
Why don’t CPS start taking children away from parents who have children after a certain age? After all there are health risks involved in getting older… the parent might die before the child turns 18. Good Grief! How far will society go to keep children from loving parents?! Take the children away from the mothers and father who don’t give two shits about their children… they ones who abuse, neglect, molest and eventually abandon or even kill their children!
Most states: Gay Marriage is Illegal
but yet they allow lesbian couples to have babies via artifical insemination and even allow them to adopt!
granted single people can have babies…..but usually single people are not given kids to adopt.
Yes. This man is heading for an appointment with a mortician, and it’s not a good thing to take a child with him.
that does seem to be a factor that would have an impact…
in that extreme, yes. being that obese provides all kinds of health risks. he could drop dead at any time from any number of problems. the risks outweigh the benefits by a long shot in this case.
well, if it gets in the way of them giving the kid the best care possible, yes.
Sure, it should be a factor. If he had another life-threatening disease, would they allow him to adopt? I should hope not. Obesity IS a life-threatening disease, and it doesn’t make sense to give a child to a man who doesn’t take care of himself. Yes, stuff can happen to anyone at any time–they can get cancer, get pneumonia and die, etc. But the point is that this man is at a higher risk for all kinds of diseases, and it is within his means to correct his problem. He should be given time to loose weight and then given the option to adopt the child.
i think people need to stop wondering if health factors and weight and looks and attitude make a good parent or not. it has nothing to do with it. i mean there are millions of people and kids around the world wanting and needing someone so why not let him have a try.
No way to make a blanket statement like that. Some people can function fine at a larger weight and some would have major mobility and health issues. Each case would need to be looked at but if it was shown that the person was able to care and love that child and provide for them then weight should not be an automatic reason for denial.
Thats hard. I don’t think weight should be a factor, but general health definetly should.
No.
It should absolutely be a factor in the parent selection process. Where do you think kids learn their eating habits??
well,
if he is at an unhealthy weight then why should they trust him to take care of someone else if he can’t take care of himself? that’s my only issue.
PeAce Love Soul
Only if it impares their ability to care for the child.
Sometimes. If the person isn’t as mobile as they need to be to chase a child around the house then they obviously shouldn’t be able to adopt that child.
Look at it this way. They say love knows no bounds, but certainly there are going to be some when you weigh 500lbs. How are you going to realistically change a diaper? Can you carry the child without fear of falling over? How could you possibly give the 3-mo old a bath? When the child gets older, how are you going to keep up with the little one? At 500lbs, the man can’t move quickly.
Then of course there is the concern that if the guy weighs 500lbs, he is obviously eating unhealthy. Eating is a learned behavior and most likely the child would learn bad eating habits from the man. No sir, I’d have to support the judge in this decision.
I think they should judge more on the person’s character rather than appearance. And who knows, maybe having a kid would help him lose weight…running after him all the time.
Their ability to lift the child, hug it, and care for it (chase it) should be considered. However some non-fat people pay nannies to do those things and are allowed to adopt.
I think this is more an issue of health than weight…
i think he should be able to!!
if the man isn’t healthy enough to take care of a child, he should not be able to adopt it. it’s not so much weight than health. well i mean weight affects the health, but its not as if they’re not letting them adopt because he’s fat, if that made any sense =/
My mother raised 5 kids…and she did it very well-She was FAT and UNHEALTHY… at 5’4″, she weighed 450 lbs. She was a diabetic, with a non-functioning thyroid…(She also died of kidney cancer 5 years ago.) None of us are in prison, none of us are junkies or alcoholics, all of us have high morals, good jobs, great kids, and loving families..7/26/2007 10:07 AM aj_mudd
That describes my grandma. She raised 7 and only one ended up in prison. She died while trying to have a gastro bypass after all her children where grown. So maybe fat people should only be allowed to adopt 6. And you judgemental people shouldn’t make them feel like bad people so that they have horribly painful surgery after surgery trying to “look” respectable.
♥
It shouldn’t be the deciding factor, but it should definitely be taken into consideration.
I think the proper question is, does his weight affect his ability to care for this child? Adoption regulations are pretty strict, from what I hear. If he’s too big to be able to move about effectively and properly care for the child, then perhaps he should not adopt.
It should be a factor, but not for a judge/state to decide. If someone weights too much they should know their limits . . .
That seems unfair to me.
I’m gonna have to agree with the above commenter – however, I did not see anything on the link that shows that he was the same size when the previous child was adopted.
This post really shows the ignorance of people with regard to eating habits. People don’t get gigantically fat from eating tubs of greasy fried chicken alone. There are biological agents at hand, such as insulin levels, metabolic rates, and the size of one’s stomach. I have a ‘portly’ friend who was about the same size as the man on the video, tried Atkins(the low-carb diet) and lost over a hundred pounds on it. Besides obvious heart conditions, he too was at risk for Sleep Apnea. However, he ended up getting it all back and then some. Why? Because his stomach can hold 4 gallons of food. Just because he lost the weight does not mean it shrunk back to normal. Although he may not be in actuality, eating a ‘reasonable’ portion of food at his size is like starving himself.
But back to the point – the man clearly has a height-weight proportional child, and i don’t see any gigantic butt-prints on the child from being accidentally sat upon. He’s obviously ambulantory, and he is also married with a -damn- good job (Truckers make BANK). Not to mention, he obviously -wants- to take care of this child. His other child does not seem to be suffering from the effects of his gigantic girth, so why should the judge deem him unfit for parenting?
Does a woman’s weight affect whether she can keep her children or not? No. So why should it matter for an adoptive parent?
I DO seeing drawing a line with health issues if the perspective adoptive parent has a serious, terminal health issue. For example, if someone with cancer wanted to adopt a child because she wanted to have a child but never got the chance, I’d say no, because she’s likely to die. It just wouldn’t be a good situation for a child to be put in a home where it knew the adoptive parent was going to die.
As far as things like weight go, I don’t think it matters. MAYBE it would matter if it was a small child and the man was so obese he couldn’t leave his bed or house.
People always be hatin the fat folk!
*regains composure* As long as a person can provide financially for a child, I don’t see how they can be denied. Everything always comes down to money.
If he is in an unhealthy state then I don’t think he should.
As far as JUST weight- if they have no other health problems other than just being overweight then I don’t think weight should be the determining factor.
Keep in mind that although the judge let him adopt a kid 6 years ago his health may have changed since then, meaning he may no longer be in the good health he might have been in back then. Plus- the kid is now old enough to be able to call 911 if something were to happen, & if he doesn’t know how to do that then something is wrong there.
But, then again, the judge may have just lost his marbles in recent years along with all the other judges. ‘Cause they all seem to be acting crazy lately.
I read the article, and I think it’s bullshit that he can’t adopt. He’s trying to lose weight and is able to care for his son. It sounds like he is a good dad.
In other cases, someone’s health / weight might be a factor, but not in this case.
And how the mess did the commentors end up on adoption for homosexuals…?
A family member id different ,is the child already with him?
He drives truck for a living and can take care of his 7 yr old…and has lost 35 lbs.
500 is really hefty and hopefully he will lose weight.
Not all fat people are fat because of what they eat….
I know a lady who adopted a kid and she is skinny but smokes and her kid smells like an ashtray,shouldn’t smoking be a factor too?
I’m wondering how many of the people commenting have actually read the article and watched the video. The video answers alot of the “what if” questions they seem to be having. My heart aches for this couple and the poor little baby that has someone that already loves him, but the courts won’t allow them to share that love and concern.
On the other hand any junkie can keep her kid no matter how many other kids she already has in the system. Where is the justice for the babies here?!?!?!?!
That’s absurd! He’s heavy, so what? He can lose weight! If I was denied the right to adopt, I’d give them a piece of my mind…or mabye even sue! Wait…could I sue for something like that? Hmm…
how much did the man weigh (i wonder) when he adopted the first child and why would the judge care, when there are two adults doing the adopting…right? plus the man is gainfully employed.
what a stupid family court judge.
If weight and health are standing in the way of good child care, then for sure they should be factors. Not to mention that someone so grossly overweight probably isn’t going to be feeding the child the best foods, or teaching them proper nutrition.
Maybe the guy should take a nutrition class, and take steps to ensure that the adopted child will not suffer the consequences of his eating habits.
Unless he is just completely incapable of taking care of the child, I don’t see why he shouldn’t be allowed to take it.
Besides, the kid’s family.
It’s hard to say. I guess it has to do with whether or not the person is physically capable of taking care of an infant. A 3 month old needs a LOT of care, and it’s a very physically demanding job.
I watched the link. I actually think they should be able to adopt the child. His wife is not dangerously overweight; he wouldn’t be the only one caring for the child. . .I thought it was a single Dad type situation. It seems like the two of them would be competent parents.
…no…
I can understand the health concerns, but since the man is working and he has another adopted son, and he’s not (as far as I know) a criminal they should allow him the right to adopt his cousin’s son.
Um…NO!
YESS!!!!
Why should some fat lard who can’t even take care of themself be allowed to take care of a child?
Wow, 500 lbs. I don`t want to be prejudice.. But.. Not o.k. I`m going to be prejudice. What if he eats the kid? LOL.. Seriously.. 500 lbs. That is not cool. -_-
I believe it should be an issue. How can they care for a child if they can’t care for themselves? And if their health is poor, who knows how long they will be with the child, so then you will be uprooting the poor kid again when the care taker dies.
i think it does if one is incredibly overweight. he adopts the child and then has a heart attack from obesity and then what? the child is moved to another home? kudos to him for working on losing the weight, but i don’t think he should be able to adopt until he is at a healthy weight, thus increasing his lifespan… for the sake of himself and the child.
Yes! I know there is more important criteria to be parent like love. But, come on how can anyone pass the responsibility of a child to him when he can’t even take care of himself? Being that overweight is like having a disease or being sick. He needs to cure himself first before take on this big responsibility.
yes! 500 pounds, might as well send the kid to a foster home…
this is very good website for you
http://www.sendmoreinfo.com/ID/3093422
please click it and join the member~~
Weight should not be a factor. Being fat does not diminish his ability to love and be loved.
Thank you brandy061975. How can you make just comments when you only hear part of a story? Of course, did the judge tell the man to lose weight for the sake of himself and his son; then the man didn’t make any changes and wanted to adopt again? Does the man have problem so that losing weight is next to impossible? Is that the child’s only family? If all the answers point negatively towards the man trying to adopt then it may make sense not to give him custody and try to look to another loving family member. There are too many “I don’t knows”!
it’s sad that the new racism is weight- like someone who’s 100 something lbs is a better person or something than someone weighing double or triple that
I think they should allow him to adopt on condition that he takes care of his health so that he can enjoy a longer life with the child and be the daddy he needs to be
yes! he might sit on them accidentally! =-O just kidding, but seriously yes they should be healthy so that the children will have long living adopted parent/s because if that person is not healthy and dies, they might have to get another set of parents and how many times do you think these kids need to get new parents? I’m thinking once at most. a 500 lb man is not healthy.
I saw him on tv, and he didn’t look like what I thought 500lbs would. He shouldn’t be denied. Also he’s already a foster parent, so he has some parenting skills. supposedly.
I personally know the family of this man. He has already adopted one child and that child is happy and well taken care of.. This man works just like the rest of us and isn’t one of the men shown on reality shows that is just laying in a bed being waited on hand and foot.
This isn’t an adoption from a pool of children waiting to be adopted… .this is a family members request that he take this child and raise the child as his own. Instead of just raising the child as a realtive he and his wife decided along with the discussion of the childs mother, to go threw the legal process and adopt the child.
AGAIN
He and his wife are not a strain on the economy.
They are not people who are trying to get over on society.
They are good, hard working, already adoptive parents of one child, and that is what should be looked at and not their weight.
He is not at the doctors for medical issues all the time.
He is at work like the rest of us.
If he were ugly, no one would have a problem.
thanks for listening
I don’t think so because it’s just not right. We’re discriminating against the heaveier weighted people. If a person is comfortable about their weight, THEN LEAVE THEM ALONE. Being big doesn’t nessarly mean that they have bad eating habits, it could come from the family too. People think that because someone is healthy they’re skinny. There are a lot of healthy larger people out there. I think that anyone of any size could adopt. When the child grows up, they could make the decision to remian like their parents or not.
I suppose…maybe. It could be an indication that since they cannot take care of themselve they cannot take care of a child I guess.
Is there another family member who is more fit and willing to adopt the kid? I think it’s important to keep families together, even distant ones. So if it was a random person who was severely obese wanting to adopt, I’d be more likely to see it from this perspective and say, this guy needs to get his own stuff together before he starts trying to take care of a baby. And maybe if the guy has alot of problems, and the weight is just one symptom of that, then he isn’t fit. But if he loves this kid and wants to care for it, and otherwise it’s going to end up in foster care, then I’d say the best option is to let the guy adopt the kid.
If the 500 lb guy can take care of himself, he can certainly take care of the child. I think it’s so sad that they’re discriminating against people over weight. They have no idea how good the guy’s parenting skills are. Maybe a child would have been lucky to have him as a father and role model.
Yes. Health factor is important.